 The JudgersStarting is hard. Putting yourself out there is scary. Going for it when you are filled with doubt is one of the most difficult, and rewarding, choices you will ever make. But, you better believe there will be no shortage of critics. Fortunately, often all we need is that first believer.
He had just posted on Reddit about one of the most humiliating experiences of his life. It was his first time at a gym, but once there his nervousness only grew as he began his workout. When he struggled with the lightest of weights, a few muscle-heads a few stations over laughed at him. Immediately demoralized, he vowed to never go back. While the onlookers at the gym were critics, one Reddit poster was not. Arnold Schwarzenegger, seven time Mr. Olympia and one of the most famous bodybuilders in history, saw the post - why he was on Reddit at the time I have no idea. And, he responded, "I always say don't be afraid of failure, because how far can you really fall? You found out. To the ground. Now we know it isn't that far, and you can get up. Keep going. I promise it gets better." His post continued, "The last guy I rooted for broke a world record in the dead lift. You have more in common with him than you think. He started out lifting just the bar too. We all did. You took the first step and you fell, but at least you fell in the right direction, so get back up and take the next step. Keep moving forward." This guy may have been just trying to do his first squat, but the pattern holds for all levels of achievement. Those in the arena don’t judge, that’s a special given by those outside the arena. A bodybuilder remembers what it was like when he started out and could barely lift the bar. He supports and encourages him because he understands the process, the struggle. Keep this in mind when you’re choosing who to listen to, or thinking about being critical, it's always the people going nowhere who are judging. Why Should We Care? The judgment most people fear isn't coming from where they think it is. When they start something new, take a risk, attempt something difficult, their brain tells them that everyone is watching and judging. And you're right, some people are judging. But what you need to understand is that the people whose judgment actually matters aren't judging you. They're rooting for you. They remember their first failed business or last terrible performance. They know that trying and falling is the only way to move forward, to progress at all. The people who are judging you are the ones standing still. They're the people who have accepted mediocrity and need to mock beginners to feel superior. Arnold's identity wasn't threatened by someone else's attempt at growth. When you're secure in who you are (not what you’ve done), you don't need to protect yourself from others' efforts, you can celebrate them. Who you listen to will either accelerate or sabotage your growth. If you're making decisions based on what the judgmental bystanders think, you'll play it safe, avoid risks, and stay stuck in comfortable mediocrity. The question isn't whether people will judge you when you try something difficult. They will. The question is, whose voice are you going to let matter? REAL TALK - Action Steps Learning to tune out judgment from people going nowhere while listening to wisdom from people who've been where you want to go requires intentional practices that help you discern which voices deserve your attention. Here are a few ideas to help you embrace that perspective:
When you're attempting something difficult, the judgment will come. Get ready for it. It should not surprise you. But if you listen carefully, you'll notice that the harshest criticism comes from people who have never done what you're trying to do. The people who have actually climbed the mountain don't stand at the bottom mocking those trying to start the ascent. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 Courage is ContagiousIf you’re a Jordan fan, you remember the commercial clearly. You’d never thought about the message he shared from that direction; but the moment you heard it, you knew just how true it was.
The commercial starts with Jordan walking down a hall, photographers' cameras clicking in the background, when you hear him say: "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." What made this commercial so appealing wasn't what Jordan said. It was that he said it at all. Here was the greatest basketball player in the world (and of all time … you know it’s true), at the peak of his career, publicly cataloging his failures. He'd been cut from his high school varsity basketball team, lost hundreds of games, and missed thousands of shots during his career. But instead of hiding those failures, he was broadcasting them to millions. The commercial was impactful because it revealed the under-appreciated connection between courage and fear. Jordan was modeling a completely different relationship with failure and, in turn, a different relationship with the courage to move forward in spite of it. Fear spreads when people hide their failures and pretend excellence comes easy. Courage becomes contagious when we are willing to own our failures publicly and make it safe for others to do the same. Why Should We Care? We don't just catch each other's colds. We catch each other's habits, behaviors, and beliefs too. The emotional climate of any team or organization is contagious. When a leader operates from fear by avoiding risks, magnifying failures, or playing it safe to protect their reputation; that fear spreads like a virus through their entire team. But when a leader models courage by taking calculated risks, processing failure as feedback, and staying calm in uncertainty; that courage becomes equally contagious. This is one of the reasons why the people we surround ourselves with matter so much. If you're surrounded by people who operate from scarcity and fear, you'll absorb that mindset whether you try to or not. But, if you're around people who process failure as part of the process you'll develop an entirely different relationship with courage and risk. Your mindset around failure doesn't just affect you. It shapes the entire culture of your team. The leaders who build truly resilient teams aren't always those with the most talent or resources, they're the ones who have learned to process failure in ways that inspire courage rather than spread fear. REAL TALK - Action Steps Becoming someone who spreads courage rather than fear requires intentional practices around how you process failure and how you create environments where others feel safe taking risks. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Fostering contagious courage is really pretty simple. Surround yourself with people whose courage is more contagious than their fear, whose response to struggle strengthens you rather than diminishes you. Then, be that for others. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Be a Verb, Not a NounMeet Gregg Popovich. The winningest coach in NBA history, five-time NBA champion, and what most would consider one of the best coaches in the history of basketball, maybe all of sport. Even with all the accolades, the most remarkable aspect of Popovich’s legacy is what his former players say about him. They don’t lead with his win-loss record or his championship runs. To them, “coach” was a title that was insufficient to describe what he meant to them.
For example, in 2018 DeMar DeRozan had just received word that his father had passed away. Devastated and sitting alone in his San Antonio hotel room DeRozan heard a knock minutes after informing the Spurs front office of his loss and plans to head home for the arrangements. It was Pop. He sat in the room and cried with DeRozan for two hours. In simple Pop fashion he declared, “I’m not leaving until you leave.” When another former Spurs player, Dejuan Murray, spoke about Popovich, he got emotional and said, "I love that dude to death, man. He's like a father to me. When I would lose people, I would go to his room, and he would give me that hug. I would cry on his shoulder. I'd vent to him. He was just there for me. And that has nothing to do with basketball. We're talking about real life." Popovich was “Coach” by title. It was a noun that described his position. But his actions, the behaviors, the way he showed up day after day is what defined who he actually was. He wasn't great because he was a coach. He was a great coach because of how he coached, how he cared, how he showed up for his players when they needed him most. The title gave him access. The actions earned him influence. The difference between the two is everything. Why Should We Care? We've got this thing all backwards. We chase titles, positions, and labels as if those things define us. We act as if becoming president or head coach or COO is the goal. But titles are simply the nouns. They're descriptors of where you sit in an organizational chart or at the meeting table. They might grant you authority, but they don't make you a leader. They might give you a team, but they don't make you someone worth following. The mistake we make is thinking that once we achieve the title, that it defines us. But, it's the verbs, the daily actions and behaviors, that determine whether that title means anything at all. Far too many people get promoted into positions of authority and then spend the rest of their careers protecting the title rather than living out the behaviors that made them deserve it in the first place. They become more concerned with their title than with actually leading. They focus on maintaining their position rather than serving the people in their charge. But the truth is people don't follow titles. They follow actions. Your title might get you in the room, but your behaviors determine whether anyone listens to you once you're there. REAL TALK - Action Steps Shifting from title-focused to action-focused leadership requires intentional practices that keep you grounded in what you do rather than what you're called. Here are a few ideas to maintain that focus:
Stop worrying about whether you're called a leader. Start focusing on whether you're actually leading. Be a verb, not a noun. Let your actions speak louder than any title ever could. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Feeling ReadyAdmittedly, I’m not a Harry Potter fan. Also admittedly, I’m not not a Harry Potter fan. I’ve never read it - not a big sci-fi, make-believe kind-a-guy but based on the scores of fans I am convinced it’s incredible. As good as the story may be, J.K. Rowling’s account of bringing it to the masses may be even better.
The idea of a boy wizard named Harry Potter had come to her seven years prior to the initial submission of the manuscript. On a four hour train ride from Manchester to London, Rowling’s imagination ran wild with the tales and adventures which would eventually entertain millions. At the time she was on the verge of depressed from the loss of her mother, alone having just left a failed marriage, and broke on welfare. Not exactly the perfect circumstances for a budding author. Years later after finally getting everything down on paper, Rowling went months bouncing back and forth between turning the manuscript into a publisher and hiding it to never be seen again. She never felt ready. How could she? She had never published anything in her life. Unqualified was an understatement. Why would anyone want to read what she had to write? Fortunately for all the Potterheads out there, Rowling finally decided to submit the manuscript. Not because she felt ready or because she became confident. It’s more simple than that. She submitted it because she made the decision to. Rather than wait to feel ready, she decided to act. What followed was twelve rejections from publishers - twelve! To her credit, once she decided to submit the manuscript she never waivered. Her feelings about readiness had become irrelevant. Over 600 million copies later, Rowling is now recognized as the first billionaire author. Her readiness came from the doing, not before it. Why Should We Care? Waiting to feel ready is one of the most clever forms of self-sabotage we practice. We tell ourselves we're being responsible, strategic, and wise. That we don't want to act prematurely. But what we're actually doing is confusing readiness as a state of preparation and readiness as a state of emotion. You can be prepared without feeling ready. And, you can act without feeling ready. Readiness is not discovered. It's decided. Being more qualified, more confident, or in a different circumstance doesn’t do it. The willingness to make readiness a choice rather than a feeling is precisely what separates people who have goals from those who actually achieve them. Too many people are waiting for a cosmic experience that will all the sudden make them feel ‘ready’. In leadership, if you feel ready it’s not that big of a decision. The biggest decisions you'll ever make will be decisions you don't feel ready for. If you wait until you feel ready for these moments, you'll wait forever, because the feeling of readiness is often the result of taking action, not the prerequisite for it. REAL TALK - Action Steps Deciding to be ready requires intentional practices that separate your feelings from your decisions and help you act before confidence arrives. Here are a few ideas to get started:
This is the pattern that defines every significant achievement. Someone decides to move forward before they feel prepared, and through the movement, they become what they needed to be. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Urgent & PresentFor years one of the early assignments in our leadership class was the eulogy exercise in which students were tasked with writing their own eulogy. While it creeped most of them out, they all did it and their reflections following its completion surprised even themselves.
Of course, they had never thought about dying, at least not to the extent of what was going to be said at their funeral. But, its reality does offer some clarity that’s unattainable through any other path. The most significant being the acceptance that they don’t have forever. If there’s things they want to do, they better start getting to them before it’s too late. As they wrestle with this, they quickly realize the only way to capitalize on those special moments they’ve dreamed of is to be present in them. Steve Jobs may be the best example. In regards to gaining this perspective Jobs was quoted saying, “Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life, because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important." In Jobs' famous 2005 Stanford commencement speech, delivered two years after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Jobs added "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition." Jobs had clarity on something most of us struggle to grasp, urgency and presence aren't opposites. They're partners. Being urgently aware that your time is limited doesn't mean you can't be fully present in the time you have. In fact, it's the awareness of limitation that makes presence possible, because it strips away everything that doesn't truly matter. Why Should We Care? How do we hold the tension between urgency and presence? It’s an important one. Most of us simply bounce between the two. We either live with such urgency that we're never truly present or we're so focused on being present and mindful that we lose the healthy sense of urgency that creates momentum and prevents procrastination. We tell ourselves we're "being present" when we're actually just avoiding what we know we need to do. Bishop Rosie O'Neal's definition of procrastination as "the arrogant assumption that God owes you another opportunity for what you already had time to do" reminds us that procrastination isn't just poor time management, it's an issue of the soul. When we put off what we know we should do today, we're operating from a place of assumed entitlement to tomorrow. We're acting as if time is guaranteed, as if opportunities are unlimited, as if this moment doesn't really matter because there will always be another one. The opportunity in front of you right now is a gift, not a right. Treating it casually, assuming you'll get another chance, is not just inefficient. It's presumptuous. It's living as if you have more control over time than you actually do. The leaders who create lasting impact are those who have learned to be both urgent and present simultaneously. They understand that every conversation matters. And not in some abstract, philosophical way, but in the concrete reality that this conversation with this person at this moment may be the only chance to say what needs to be said. That the opportunity to influence someone's life or direction is time-sensitive and unrepeatable. But, they also don't live in frantic anxiety about the future, constantly rushing, never satisfied, always focused on what's next. They're fully engaged in the work of this day, this conversation, because they understand that presence is how urgency expresses itself most powerfully. You can't be urgently impactful if you're not present enough to see what this moment actually requires from you. REAL TALK - Action Steps Living with both urgency and presence requires intentional practices that keep you anchored in reality. Time is limited, this moment matters. Here are a few ideas to start you down the path:
Anxiety assumes today doesn't matter enough. That we need to rush past this moment to get to the next one. But, if we listen, our wisdom will whisper that today is all we truly have, and it’s always just enough. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Life is a CreationAt fifteen years old, Arnold Schwarzenegger made a decision on who he would become, and then he built that man. He described it as ‘magical’ because it was the first time in his life that he realized who he wanted to be. Schwarzenegger recalled, “I knew I was going to be a bodybuilder. It wasn’t simply that either. I would be the best bodybuilder in the world, the greatest, the best-built man.”
As he transitioned to Hollywood, Schwarzenegger encountered resistance at every turn - his thick Austrian accent was too hard to understand, his clunky bodybuilder physique was wrong for acting, and his name was too long and unpronounceable. Similar to his fifteen year old decision to be a bodybuilder, Schwarzenegger had already made the decision. He was going to be an actor. His response to the naysaying agents and casting people seemed like a joke at the time, but turned out to be prophetic: “Eventually, there will be only one Arnold, and they won’t need to be able to spell Schwarzenegger.” He didn't soul search to discover if acting was his authentic calling. He simply decided to create a new version of himself. We couldn't imagine a bodybuilder chatting it up with Johnny Carson until we saw him on The Tonight Show. We couldn't imagine the guy who was so convincing as a killer robot in The Terminator becoming governor of California. Nonetheless, Schwarzenegger made it all real by deliberately creating who he needed to be in each chapter of his life. Bodybuilder. Actor. Governor. Each version was intentionally constructed, not passively uncovered. Why Should We Care? Here’s the danger with self-discovery: it’s passive. The narrative tells us that we need to ‘discover ourselves’ by peeling back layers until we find our true, authentic core. We search for our purpose, try to reveal our core values, and attempt to uncover our passions as if our identity exists somewhere out there or deep inside us. If we’re not careful, years can pass while we’re waiting for clarity, searching for signs, and hoping for a revelation about who we’re supposed to be. However, life holds a different truth. It’s not a treasure hunt for a pre-existing self, it’s a creation process. We don’t discover who we are as much as we decide who we want to be and then build that person through our choices, habits, and actions. Our perspective on life changes when we recognize and take agency over our own development. The key aspect of that shift is understanding that our identity is something we actively construct, not something we passively uncover. The most transformational leaders aren't those who spent decades finding themselves, they just had the courage to decide who they needed, or wanted, to become and then did the work to become it. The discovery model leaves you too dependent on external validation. The creation model puts the power back in your hands, in your choices, in your daily decisions about who you're becoming. REAL TALK - Action Steps Shifting from discovery to creation requires changing your relationship with identity from something you find to something you build. Here’s a few ideas to get you started:
Life is about building an ever-evolving masterpiece, one choice at a time. Stop waiting to discover yourself. Start creating yourself. The person you become will be far more interesting than the person you might have found. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  The Brilliance of SimplicityYahoo was Google before Google was Google … kinda. In the late 1990s, Yahoo was the undisputed king of the internet. Within three years of going public, founders Jerry Yang and David Filo were worth $8 billion each. Yahoo had built an empire as the one-stop shop to the internet. It offered a search engine, email, news, weather, entertainment, shopping, and everything else users might want. The strategy was brilliant at the time. Yahoo was the hub for all internet activity.
Meanwhile, in a dorm room at Stanford, two students were working on something drastically different in their dorm room. Larry Page and Sergey Brin were focused on something simple, just a search engine. Their creation was to do one thing: search. No portal. No news. No entertainment. You know it today as Google. While Yahoo was adding features and complexity, Google focused obsessively on simply delivering the most relevant search result as quickly as possible. The homepage was minimal with just a logo and a search box on a white page. Users quickly learned that Google got them to the right answer quickly, with minimal friction. By the early 2000s, even Yahoo recognized Google's superiority and signed an agreement making Google the search engine that powered Yahoo.com. But eventually, Yahoo returned to using its own technology, unwilling to accept the brilliance of Google’s simplicity. Today, Google handles billions of searches daily and is one of the world's largest companies. Yahoo was sold to Verizon in 2017 for $4.48 billion, a fraction of its peak value. Why Should We Care? The smartest people in the room are often the ones most vulnerable to being pulled away from simplicity. Intelligence tends to create complexity. Smart people see more variables, more contingencies, more options. They build sophisticated systems that account for every scenario. And at times, that complexity works brilliantly. But, complexity also complicates. It blurs decisions, slows agility, and can dilute our focus. Leadership is change. The strategies that made us successful yesterday will become the very things that prevent us from succeeding tomorrow. We see the pattern playout constantly. An organization will invest years in building intricate processes, elaborate systems, and complex structures, and then when circumstances shift, they can't change quickly enough. Meanwhile, someone comes along with a simpler approach - ask Blockbuster about Netflix for a quick reminder. Maybe not even a smarter approach, but definitely a simpler one. And, they win. High achievers are notorious for overcomplicating their approach to success. They develop elaborate productivity systems, complex goal frameworks, and sophisticated strategies for managing their time and energy. And while that complexity might create short-term gains, it often becomes the thing that prevents them from actually maintaining presence and living the life they are striving for. The people who sustain excellence aren't the smartest, they're the ones who've learned to keep things simple enough to remain agile. They understand that complexity is seductive because it feels thorough and intelligent, but simplicity is powerful because it's executable and adaptable. REAL TALK - Action Steps Moving from complexity toward simplicity requires courage to let go of things that no longer serve you, even if they once did. Let’s give it a shot:
Yahoo tried to be everything to everyone; Google chose to be one thing to everyone. If we’re not careful our sophistication will become our liability. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  But, What If It Works?Sara Blakely had every reason to listen to the ‘what ifs’. In 1998, she was 27 years old and selling fax machines door to door. But, she had a big idea that consumed her - footless pantyhose … yea, I would’ve never thought of that either. Problem was, she had no business experience, no connections, and no money beyond the $5,000 she'd scraped together from selling fax machines. That didn’t deter her though, she started calling hosiery mills where she received a consistent response - no.
Every voice around her would have compiled an impressive list of ‘what if’ doomsday messages. What if you waste your money? What if people laugh at you? What if you fail again? She went for it anyway. When she was rejected on the phone she still chose to drive to North Carolina to pitch her idea to manufacturers in person. She got the same response from every person she talked to though - a smug chuckle or an even more painful explanation of just how dumb her idea was. But Sara never waivered. She remained married to the question on the other side of the coin - what if it works? Rather than ignore the obstacles, Blakely acknowledged them and ran directly towards them. About three weeks after her trip to North Carolina, one of those mill owners in Charlotte decided to give her crazy idea a shot. As it turns out, the owner had run the idea by his three daughters who had each loved the idea. And, with that, Spanx was born and is now a household name. Blakely became the youngest self-made female billionaire in history … all because she chose the ‘what ifs’ of possibility over the ‘what ifs’ of failure. Why Should We Care? Without question, the most impactful leaders choose the ‘what ifs’ of possibility. Most people default to catastrophic "what ifs" with all the reasons something won't work, all the ways they might fail, and all the judgment they might face. These aren't irrational thoughts, they're a result of our brain trying to keep us safe. But, safety and excellence don’t always go together. I'm not suggesting we act like everything is sunshine and rainbows or that we ignore reality. Sara Blakely didn't pretend the manufacturers weren't laughing at her. She didn't minimize the fact that she had no business experience or industry connections. She acknowledged all of it while never straying from her insatiable curiosity that it just might work. When you focus on all the reasons something might fail, you're paralyzed. When you acknowledge those reasons but then focus on the possibility of success, you're energized. Same circumstances, different question, completely different outcome. The questions you ask yourself determine the actions you take, or don't take. Leaders consumed with ‘what if it fails’ thinking make conservative, fear-based decisions designed to minimize downside. They optimize for not looking bad rather than for creating something meaningful. But leaders who learn to ask ‘what if it works’ make bold, possibility-focused decisions designed to maximize impact. They're willing to look foolish in pursuit of something that matters. The people who change the world aren't necessarily smarter or more talented, but they're just willing to live in a different ‘what if.’ What if this crazy idea actually changes everything? REAL TALK - Action Steps Shifting from ‘what if it fails’ to ‘what if it works’ thinking requires intentional practices that retrain your brain to focus on possibility rather than catastrophe. Here are a few ideas to get you heading in that direction:
Every significant opportunity you'll ever face will come with a list of reasons why it won't work. Those reasons will be logical and sometimes accurate. The question isn't whether those fears are valid, it's whether you're going to let them be the only voice in the room. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Self-Awareness' Gift: Grace“The Decision” … come on, you remember it.
It’s July 2010 and LeBron sits down for a televised special to announce he’s leaving his hometown of Cleveland to create a superteam in Miami, all in pursuit of an NBA championship. It worked, he won - two of them to be exact. But, in Northeast Ohio, James instantly went from the savior to something just short of the anti-christ. That is, until four years later when he returned to Cleveland. Ah, back to the savior … There was a different feel with this change however. James, now considerably older and more mature, seemed to be following his heart as much as he was changing teams. In a Sports Illustrated essay he wrote “My relationship with Northeast Ohio is bigger than basketball. I didn't realize that four years ago. I do now.” This was just as much an apology as it was evidence of a growing self-awareness. He could have stayed away, protected his ego and reputation. Instead he extended forgiveness to Dan Gilbert, the agitated owner of the Cavs who fired off a seething, public letter in response to his first departure. James then admitted how he’d prioritized championships over community; and confessed to the tactless way he’d handled his departure. His self-awareness created space for grace. Grace to others who had hurt him and grace to himself for his own mistakes. All too often we see the other side of the self-awareness coin. The one that refuses to recognize or acknowledge shortcomings, pretends to operate in a silo, and ignores the impact on the rest of the world. All while robbing themselves and others of the gift of grace. Why Should We Care? Here’s a realization we all eventually come to: self-awareness is the foundation of grace, both toward others and toward ourselves. When we truly understand our own struggles, insecurities, and failures, we gain the capacity to recognize those same struggles in others. We stop seeing people's behaviors as attacks on us and start seeing them as expressions of their own pain, confusion, or limitations. That awareness creates the possibility for grace. The same principle applies with ourselves. Most leaders I know are far more gracious with others than they are with themselves. They can extend compassion to struggling team members while simultaneously beating themselves up for similar challenges. Fortunately, or unfortunately, we can't sustainably extend grace to others without also learning to extend it to ourselves. When we’re constantly judging our own mistakes harshly, we’ll eventually project that same judgment onto others. Self-awareness breaks this cycle because when we see ourselves clearly, we gain the humility to recognize that we’re doing the best we can with what we know in each moment. That recognition doesn't create complacency, it creates compassion. And compassion for ourselves naturally overflows into compassion for others. Grace is what makes teams resilient. When people know their leader can see them clearly and fully believe in them, they'll take risks, admit mistakes, and pursue excellence without fear. But when leaders operate without self-awareness, they create environments where people hide their struggles, fake competence, and avoid vulnerability at all costs. The leader who has never examined their own failures can't extend grace for others' failures. The leader who hasn't acknowledged their own need for support can't create space for others to admit they need help. REAL TALK - Action Steps Developing the self-awareness that enables grace requires intentional practices to help you see yourself and others more clearly, without the distortions of ego or shame. Here’s a few to get you started:
Self-awareness is the gateway, not the goal. The goal is becoming the kind of person who can see clearly, love generously, and lead with both strength and compassion. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! A Chance to Believe Being from St. Paris Graham, there’s a few things you are required to know: 1. What a Trucker’s Special at Mixin’s & Fixin’s is; 2. The difference between straw and hay; and 3. Wrestling. I’m well versed in all three. The Trucker’s Special is enough food for you to not eat for the next three days. Straw is yellow, hay is green. And, wrestling is a sport I’ve grown to truly appreciate - even as a basketball coach. The sacrifice and humility it requires is inspiring. And, it’s really cool when that sacrifice and humility meets an opportunity to believe.
Welcome to the Sydney Olympics in 2000. Rulon Gardner walked onto the wrestling mat as a 2,000:1 underdog. 2,000:1! His opponent was Aleksandr Karelin, the most dominant wrestler in history. Karelin was a three-time Olympic gold medalist, had won 887 of 888 matches, hadn't been beaten in 13 years, and hadn't surrendered a single point in six years. Three years earlier Gardner was one of Karenlin’s casualties, losing miserably and breaking two vertebrae in his neck. Literally no one believed Gardner, who had never finished higher than fifth in international competition, had a chance. A month before the Olympics, Gardner had been pinned by the number two Russian wrestler in 13 seconds. He wasn’t from wrestling royalty and didn't even make his high school wrestling team until his senior year. Gardner was a country kid from Wyoming who had developed his strength not through elite training programs but through twice-daily milking sessions and hauling countless bales of hay on his family's dairy farm. By every measurable standard, this was not a match. It was a hoop Karelin needed to jump through to claim his fourth consecutive gold medal. But Gardner saw things differently. While the world saw an impossible challenge, he chose a different perspective. Against all odds, the farm boy from Wyoming held on for a 1-0 victory that shocked the world. Gardner said afterward, "All those people who told me I could never get here and get on this stage, I'm going to show them.” The challenge everyone else saw as impossible became the chance Gardner used to believe. Why Should We Care? A challenge, regardless of how daunting it may seem, is not an obstacle to overcome. It’s an invitation to believe. Most people look at challenges and see reasons to doubt, but leaders who pursue excellence have learned to flip their perspective. They see challenges as the very context that makes belief meaningful. After all, belief isn't required when success is guaranteed. It only matters when the outcome is uncertain. The greater the challenge, the greater the opportunity to demonstrate what belief can accomplish. Belief is fascinating because of how it shapes our performance. Gardner didn't beat Karelin because he was physically superior. He won because he approached the match with a mindset that allowed him to compete at his highest level. Leaders who view challenges as chances to believe access potential that doubt-filled competitors never discover. They prepare more because they believe preparation matters and they persist longer because they believe persistence will be rewarded. The challenge doesn't change, but the mindset you approach it with changes everything about what becomes possible. High achievers who struggle often do so because they've allowed challenges to become evidence for doubt rather than opportunities for belief. Individuals who learn to reframe challenges as invitations to believe find inspiration when they realize the size of the challenge is actually the size of the opportunity. When you embrace challenges as chances to believe, you stop being limited by circumstances and start being defined by conviction. REAL TALK - Action Steps Operating from a challenge and opportunity mindset requires deliberate practices that train our brain to see opportunity where others see obstacles. Here are a few ideas to get started:
Every challenge you face is asking you the same question: Will you use this as evidence for doubt, or as an opportunity for belief? The circumstances don't determine the answer, your mindset does. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
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