 Urgent & PresentFor years one of the early assignments in our leadership class was the eulogy exercise in which students were tasked with writing their own eulogy. While it creeped most of them out, they all did it and their reflections following its completion surprised even themselves.
Of course, they had never thought about dying, at least not to the extent of what was going to be said at their funeral. But, its reality does offer some clarity that’s unattainable through any other path. The most significant being the acceptance that they don’t have forever. If there’s things they want to do, they better start getting to them before it’s too late. As they wrestle with this, they quickly realize the only way to capitalize on those special moments they’ve dreamed of is to be present in them. Steve Jobs may be the best example. In regards to gaining this perspective Jobs was quoted saying, “Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life, because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important." In Jobs' famous 2005 Stanford commencement speech, delivered two years after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Jobs added "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition." Jobs had clarity on something most of us struggle to grasp, urgency and presence aren't opposites. They're partners. Being urgently aware that your time is limited doesn't mean you can't be fully present in the time you have. In fact, it's the awareness of limitation that makes presence possible, because it strips away everything that doesn't truly matter. Why Should We Care? How do we hold the tension between urgency and presence? It’s an important one. Most of us simply bounce between the two. We either live with such urgency that we're never truly present or we're so focused on being present and mindful that we lose the healthy sense of urgency that creates momentum and prevents procrastination. We tell ourselves we're "being present" when we're actually just avoiding what we know we need to do. Bishop Rosie O'Neal's definition of procrastination as "the arrogant assumption that God owes you another opportunity for what you already had time to do" reminds us that procrastination isn't just poor time management, it's an issue of the soul. When we put off what we know we should do today, we're operating from a place of assumed entitlement to tomorrow. We're acting as if time is guaranteed, as if opportunities are unlimited, as if this moment doesn't really matter because there will always be another one. The opportunity in front of you right now is a gift, not a right. Treating it casually, assuming you'll get another chance, is not just inefficient. It's presumptuous. It's living as if you have more control over time than you actually do. The leaders who create lasting impact are those who have learned to be both urgent and present simultaneously. They understand that every conversation matters. And not in some abstract, philosophical way, but in the concrete reality that this conversation with this person at this moment may be the only chance to say what needs to be said. That the opportunity to influence someone's life or direction is time-sensitive and unrepeatable. But, they also don't live in frantic anxiety about the future, constantly rushing, never satisfied, always focused on what's next. They're fully engaged in the work of this day, this conversation, because they understand that presence is how urgency expresses itself most powerfully. You can't be urgently impactful if you're not present enough to see what this moment actually requires from you. REAL TALK - Action Steps Living with both urgency and presence requires intentional practices that keep you anchored in reality. Time is limited, this moment matters. Here are a few ideas to start you down the path:
Anxiety assumes today doesn't matter enough. That we need to rush past this moment to get to the next one. But, if we listen, our wisdom will whisper that today is all we truly have, and it’s always just enough. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 Life is a CreationAt fifteen years old, Arnold Schwarzenegger made a decision on who he would become, and then he built that man. He described it as ‘magical’ because it was the first time in his life that he realized who he wanted to be. Schwarzenegger recalled, “I knew I was going to be a bodybuilder. It wasn’t simply that either. I would be the best bodybuilder in the world, the greatest, the best-built man.”
As he transitioned to Hollywood, Schwarzenegger encountered resistance at every turn - his thick Austrian accent was too hard to understand, his clunky bodybuilder physique was wrong for acting, and his name was too long and unpronounceable. Similar to his fifteen year old decision to be a bodybuilder, Schwarzenegger had already made the decision. He was going to be an actor. His response to the naysaying agents and casting people seemed like a joke at the time, but turned out to be prophetic: “Eventually, there will be only one Arnold, and they won’t need to be able to spell Schwarzenegger.” He didn't soul search to discover if acting was his authentic calling. He simply decided to create a new version of himself. We couldn't imagine a bodybuilder chatting it up with Johnny Carson until we saw him on The Tonight Show. We couldn't imagine the guy who was so convincing as a killer robot in The Terminator becoming governor of California. Nonetheless, Schwarzenegger made it all real by deliberately creating who he needed to be in each chapter of his life. Bodybuilder. Actor. Governor. Each version was intentionally constructed, not passively uncovered. Why Should We Care? Here’s the danger with self-discovery: it’s passive. The narrative tells us that we need to ‘discover ourselves’ by peeling back layers until we find our true, authentic core. We search for our purpose, try to reveal our core values, and attempt to uncover our passions as if our identity exists somewhere out there or deep inside us. If we’re not careful, years can pass while we’re waiting for clarity, searching for signs, and hoping for a revelation about who we’re supposed to be. However, life holds a different truth. It’s not a treasure hunt for a pre-existing self, it’s a creation process. We don’t discover who we are as much as we decide who we want to be and then build that person through our choices, habits, and actions. Our perspective on life changes when we recognize and take agency over our own development. The key aspect of that shift is understanding that our identity is something we actively construct, not something we passively uncover. The most transformational leaders aren't those who spent decades finding themselves, they just had the courage to decide who they needed, or wanted, to become and then did the work to become it. The discovery model leaves you too dependent on external validation. The creation model puts the power back in your hands, in your choices, in your daily decisions about who you're becoming. REAL TALK - Action Steps Shifting from discovery to creation requires changing your relationship with identity from something you find to something you build. Here’s a few ideas to get you started:
Life is about building an ever-evolving masterpiece, one choice at a time. Stop waiting to discover yourself. Start creating yourself. The person you become will be far more interesting than the person you might have found. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  The Brilliance of SimplicityYahoo was Google before Google was Google … kinda. In the late 1990s, Yahoo was the undisputed king of the internet. Within three years of going public, founders Jerry Yang and David Filo were worth $8 billion each. Yahoo had built an empire as the one-stop shop to the internet. It offered a search engine, email, news, weather, entertainment, shopping, and everything else users might want. The strategy was brilliant at the time. Yahoo was the hub for all internet activity.
Meanwhile, in a dorm room at Stanford, two students were working on something drastically different in their dorm room. Larry Page and Sergey Brin were focused on something simple, just a search engine. Their creation was to do one thing: search. No portal. No news. No entertainment. You know it today as Google. While Yahoo was adding features and complexity, Google focused obsessively on simply delivering the most relevant search result as quickly as possible. The homepage was minimal with just a logo and a search box on a white page. Users quickly learned that Google got them to the right answer quickly, with minimal friction. By the early 2000s, even Yahoo recognized Google's superiority and signed an agreement making Google the search engine that powered Yahoo.com. But eventually, Yahoo returned to using its own technology, unwilling to accept the brilliance of Google’s simplicity. Today, Google handles billions of searches daily and is one of the world's largest companies. Yahoo was sold to Verizon in 2017 for $4.48 billion, a fraction of its peak value. Why Should We Care? The smartest people in the room are often the ones most vulnerable to being pulled away from simplicity. Intelligence tends to create complexity. Smart people see more variables, more contingencies, more options. They build sophisticated systems that account for every scenario. And at times, that complexity works brilliantly. But, complexity also complicates. It blurs decisions, slows agility, and can dilute our focus. Leadership is change. The strategies that made us successful yesterday will become the very things that prevent us from succeeding tomorrow. We see the pattern playout constantly. An organization will invest years in building intricate processes, elaborate systems, and complex structures, and then when circumstances shift, they can't change quickly enough. Meanwhile, someone comes along with a simpler approach - ask Blockbuster about Netflix for a quick reminder. Maybe not even a smarter approach, but definitely a simpler one. And, they win. High achievers are notorious for overcomplicating their approach to success. They develop elaborate productivity systems, complex goal frameworks, and sophisticated strategies for managing their time and energy. And while that complexity might create short-term gains, it often becomes the thing that prevents them from actually maintaining presence and living the life they are striving for. The people who sustain excellence aren't the smartest, they're the ones who've learned to keep things simple enough to remain agile. They understand that complexity is seductive because it feels thorough and intelligent, but simplicity is powerful because it's executable and adaptable. REAL TALK - Action Steps Moving from complexity toward simplicity requires courage to let go of things that no longer serve you, even if they once did. Let’s give it a shot:
Yahoo tried to be everything to everyone; Google chose to be one thing to everyone. If we’re not careful our sophistication will become our liability. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  But, What If It Works?Sara Blakely had every reason to listen to the ‘what ifs’. In 1998, she was 27 years old and selling fax machines door to door. But, she had a big idea that consumed her - footless pantyhose … yea, I would’ve never thought of that either. Problem was, she had no business experience, no connections, and no money beyond the $5,000 she'd scraped together from selling fax machines. That didn’t deter her though, she started calling hosiery mills where she received a consistent response - no.
Every voice around her would have compiled an impressive list of ‘what if’ doomsday messages. What if you waste your money? What if people laugh at you? What if you fail again? She went for it anyway. When she was rejected on the phone she still chose to drive to North Carolina to pitch her idea to manufacturers in person. She got the same response from every person she talked to though - a smug chuckle or an even more painful explanation of just how dumb her idea was. But Sara never waivered. She remained married to the question on the other side of the coin - what if it works? Rather than ignore the obstacles, Blakely acknowledged them and ran directly towards them. About three weeks after her trip to North Carolina, one of those mill owners in Charlotte decided to give her crazy idea a shot. As it turns out, the owner had run the idea by his three daughters who had each loved the idea. And, with that, Spanx was born and is now a household name. Blakely became the youngest self-made female billionaire in history … all because she chose the ‘what ifs’ of possibility over the ‘what ifs’ of failure. Why Should We Care? Without question, the most impactful leaders choose the ‘what ifs’ of possibility. Most people default to catastrophic "what ifs" with all the reasons something won't work, all the ways they might fail, and all the judgment they might face. These aren't irrational thoughts, they're a result of our brain trying to keep us safe. But, safety and excellence don’t always go together. I'm not suggesting we act like everything is sunshine and rainbows or that we ignore reality. Sara Blakely didn't pretend the manufacturers weren't laughing at her. She didn't minimize the fact that she had no business experience or industry connections. She acknowledged all of it while never straying from her insatiable curiosity that it just might work. When you focus on all the reasons something might fail, you're paralyzed. When you acknowledge those reasons but then focus on the possibility of success, you're energized. Same circumstances, different question, completely different outcome. The questions you ask yourself determine the actions you take, or don't take. Leaders consumed with ‘what if it fails’ thinking make conservative, fear-based decisions designed to minimize downside. They optimize for not looking bad rather than for creating something meaningful. But leaders who learn to ask ‘what if it works’ make bold, possibility-focused decisions designed to maximize impact. They're willing to look foolish in pursuit of something that matters. The people who change the world aren't necessarily smarter or more talented, but they're just willing to live in a different ‘what if.’ What if this crazy idea actually changes everything? REAL TALK - Action Steps Shifting from ‘what if it fails’ to ‘what if it works’ thinking requires intentional practices that retrain your brain to focus on possibility rather than catastrophe. Here are a few ideas to get you heading in that direction:
Every significant opportunity you'll ever face will come with a list of reasons why it won't work. Those reasons will be logical and sometimes accurate. The question isn't whether those fears are valid, it's whether you're going to let them be the only voice in the room. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Self-Awareness' Gift: Grace“The Decision” … come on, you remember it.
It’s July 2010 and LeBron sits down for a televised special to announce he’s leaving his hometown of Cleveland to create a superteam in Miami, all in pursuit of an NBA championship. It worked, he won - two of them to be exact. But, in Northeast Ohio, James instantly went from the savior to something just short of the anti-christ. That is, until four years later when he returned to Cleveland. Ah, back to the savior … There was a different feel with this change however. James, now considerably older and more mature, seemed to be following his heart as much as he was changing teams. In a Sports Illustrated essay he wrote “My relationship with Northeast Ohio is bigger than basketball. I didn't realize that four years ago. I do now.” This was just as much an apology as it was evidence of a growing self-awareness. He could have stayed away, protected his ego and reputation. Instead he extended forgiveness to Dan Gilbert, the agitated owner of the Cavs who fired off a seething, public letter in response to his first departure. James then admitted how he’d prioritized championships over community; and confessed to the tactless way he’d handled his departure. His self-awareness created space for grace. Grace to others who had hurt him and grace to himself for his own mistakes. All too often we see the other side of the self-awareness coin. The one that refuses to recognize or acknowledge shortcomings, pretends to operate in a silo, and ignores the impact on the rest of the world. All while robbing themselves and others of the gift of grace. Why Should We Care? Here’s a realization we all eventually come to: self-awareness is the foundation of grace, both toward others and toward ourselves. When we truly understand our own struggles, insecurities, and failures, we gain the capacity to recognize those same struggles in others. We stop seeing people's behaviors as attacks on us and start seeing them as expressions of their own pain, confusion, or limitations. That awareness creates the possibility for grace. The same principle applies with ourselves. Most leaders I know are far more gracious with others than they are with themselves. They can extend compassion to struggling team members while simultaneously beating themselves up for similar challenges. Fortunately, or unfortunately, we can't sustainably extend grace to others without also learning to extend it to ourselves. When we’re constantly judging our own mistakes harshly, we’ll eventually project that same judgment onto others. Self-awareness breaks this cycle because when we see ourselves clearly, we gain the humility to recognize that we’re doing the best we can with what we know in each moment. That recognition doesn't create complacency, it creates compassion. And compassion for ourselves naturally overflows into compassion for others. Grace is what makes teams resilient. When people know their leader can see them clearly and fully believe in them, they'll take risks, admit mistakes, and pursue excellence without fear. But when leaders operate without self-awareness, they create environments where people hide their struggles, fake competence, and avoid vulnerability at all costs. The leader who has never examined their own failures can't extend grace for others' failures. The leader who hasn't acknowledged their own need for support can't create space for others to admit they need help. REAL TALK - Action Steps Developing the self-awareness that enables grace requires intentional practices to help you see yourself and others more clearly, without the distortions of ego or shame. Here’s a few to get you started:
Self-awareness is the gateway, not the goal. The goal is becoming the kind of person who can see clearly, love generously, and lead with both strength and compassion. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! A Chance to Believe Being from St. Paris Graham, there’s a few things you are required to know: 1. What a Trucker’s Special at Mixin’s & Fixin’s is; 2. The difference between straw and hay; and 3. Wrestling. I’m well versed in all three. The Trucker’s Special is enough food for you to not eat for the next three days. Straw is yellow, hay is green. And, wrestling is a sport I’ve grown to truly appreciate - even as a basketball coach. The sacrifice and humility it requires is inspiring. And, it’s really cool when that sacrifice and humility meets an opportunity to believe.
Welcome to the Sydney Olympics in 2000. Rulon Gardner walked onto the wrestling mat as a 2,000:1 underdog. 2,000:1! His opponent was Aleksandr Karelin, the most dominant wrestler in history. Karelin was a three-time Olympic gold medalist, had won 887 of 888 matches, hadn't been beaten in 13 years, and hadn't surrendered a single point in six years. Three years earlier Gardner was one of Karenlin’s casualties, losing miserably and breaking two vertebrae in his neck. Literally no one believed Gardner, who had never finished higher than fifth in international competition, had a chance. A month before the Olympics, Gardner had been pinned by the number two Russian wrestler in 13 seconds. He wasn’t from wrestling royalty and didn't even make his high school wrestling team until his senior year. Gardner was a country kid from Wyoming who had developed his strength not through elite training programs but through twice-daily milking sessions and hauling countless bales of hay on his family's dairy farm. By every measurable standard, this was not a match. It was a hoop Karelin needed to jump through to claim his fourth consecutive gold medal. But Gardner saw things differently. While the world saw an impossible challenge, he chose a different perspective. Against all odds, the farm boy from Wyoming held on for a 1-0 victory that shocked the world. Gardner said afterward, "All those people who told me I could never get here and get on this stage, I'm going to show them.” The challenge everyone else saw as impossible became the chance Gardner used to believe. Why Should We Care? A challenge, regardless of how daunting it may seem, is not an obstacle to overcome. It’s an invitation to believe. Most people look at challenges and see reasons to doubt, but leaders who pursue excellence have learned to flip their perspective. They see challenges as the very context that makes belief meaningful. After all, belief isn't required when success is guaranteed. It only matters when the outcome is uncertain. The greater the challenge, the greater the opportunity to demonstrate what belief can accomplish. Belief is fascinating because of how it shapes our performance. Gardner didn't beat Karelin because he was physically superior. He won because he approached the match with a mindset that allowed him to compete at his highest level. Leaders who view challenges as chances to believe access potential that doubt-filled competitors never discover. They prepare more because they believe preparation matters and they persist longer because they believe persistence will be rewarded. The challenge doesn't change, but the mindset you approach it with changes everything about what becomes possible. High achievers who struggle often do so because they've allowed challenges to become evidence for doubt rather than opportunities for belief. Individuals who learn to reframe challenges as invitations to believe find inspiration when they realize the size of the challenge is actually the size of the opportunity. When you embrace challenges as chances to believe, you stop being limited by circumstances and start being defined by conviction. REAL TALK - Action Steps Operating from a challenge and opportunity mindset requires deliberate practices that train our brain to see opportunity where others see obstacles. Here are a few ideas to get started:
Every challenge you face is asking you the same question: Will you use this as evidence for doubt, or as an opportunity for belief? The circumstances don't determine the answer, your mindset does. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Thanksgiving Is Always On a ThursdayHolidays are an interesting phenominon. They were once sacred days that the nation stopped to observe a great moment in the history of our nation, or our faith. Schools were out of session, businesses shut down, and everyone took the opportunity to stop and honor the day.
Those times seem to be over. I mean, Thanksgiving almost seems like the prelude to Christmas, given the ever growing Black Friday push. And, maybe some of these holidays should be examined for their true merit in today’s world. I’m not knowledgeable enough to debate that - I mean, celebrating those who can talk like a pirate every September 19th seems like a bit much but what do I know. I would, however, like to propose a weekly holiday that would positively impact your world. It requires no days off work, no store discounts or sales, and has no unwritten dress code. Thankful Thursdays. Why Should We Care? We should care because we suck at saying thank you. Kids do. Adults do. Professionals do. We’re not good at it. And, us not being good at it helps others not be good at it. So, we end up in a world with less appreciation for the good things that are happening and more contempt for the bad things that are happening. What if we just took a day to intentionally share our appreciation? What if we committed to be intentional about thanking our janitorial staff? Our bus drivers? The fast food workers handing us our food? Our family? Our friends? Our competitors? I’m convinced we don’t realize how contagious positive actions can be? It’s every bit as transferable as any disease. Everytime we share our appreciation for someone or something, we are more likely to find someone or something else we are thankful for. But more importantly, we are encouraging those around us to continue on by letting them know their work is appreciated. And, maybe - just maybe they’ll begin to share their appreciation a little more often. Saying thank you lifts people. It makes their, and your, life better. We all feel it. All we have to do is say it. REAL TALK - Action Steps Observing Thankful Thursday has become a highlight of the week for many people that have embraced this holiday. Occasionally it’s to someone that has helped me throughout the week, but more often than not I write to someone that may not realize I’m thankful for them - a former teacher, a friend I’ve thought about but haven’t talked to in awhile, a player ... You can’t go wrong. Here are a few ways to observe Thankful Thursday with your team or by yourself:
Official holiday or not, Thankful Thursday is worth observing. It’s probably even a little more meaningful if it remains as it is - reserved for those that see value in lifting those around them and consistently make the effort to do so. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Excellence is RebellionMichael Phelps didn’t just work hard. He was different. While most swimmers took Sundays off, Phelps trained every single day for five years straight. That’s 1,825 consecutive days in the pool. Fatigue, burnout, or even boredom would have been concerns for most swimmers, but Phelps wasn’t most swimmers and had no desire to be. His coach, Bob Bowman, points to a simple decision to just outwork everyone as a turning point in Phelps’ career. He swam 70,000 to 100,000 yards a week, often training twice a day during that time. Phelps even slept in a high-altitude chamber to simulate thinner air and boost his endurance.
If that wasn’t different enough, he also embraced outside the box methods like intense visualization, which happened to pay off bigtime for him. Before every race, Phelps would mentally rehearse every stroke, every turn, every possible scenario - even something as random as the possibility of his goggles breaking … like they did in the 2008 Beijing Olympics. No problem, he had been there before. Phelps still won gold and set a world record. Phelps rebelled against tradition. He rejected the idea of “normal” training, “normal” rest, and “normal” limits. He chose to be different. And that difference made him the most decorated Olympian in history. Why Should We Care? Leadership and excellence are much more about standing out than fitting in. Phelps’ story is a masterclass in rebellion against mediocrity. Leaders who want to build something extraordinary must be willing to do what others won’t. That might mean working when others rest, thinking when others react, or believing when others doubt. Nonetheless, you can’t be the same. In a society that rewards conformity and comfort, choosing excellence is a radical act. It requires saying no to the easy path and yes to the hard, weird, lonely one. It means building habits that others don’t understand and making sacrifices that others won’t make. It means holding a vision that others have never imagined, can’t even see, and often don’t want to see. Excellence creates gravity. When we choose to operate at a higher standard, we lift others with us. Teams rise to meet the energy of a leader who refuses to settle. Rebellion to excellence is more than personal, it’s contagious. When we choose to be different, we give others permission to do the same. When we rebel against the status quo we normalize ambition, discipline, and vision in environments that often reward comfort. The ripple effect of our rebellion can redefine what’s possible for everyone around us. REAL TALK - Action Steps So how do we channel our inner Phelps? Here are three ways to start rebelling toward excellence today:
Excellence is the daily decision to be different. By defying the average and embracing the discomfort that greatness demands, we begin to accept and eventually appreciate our own uniqueness. And once the confidence in that starts to flow, it doesn’t stop. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Silent AcceptanceI know you remember perusing the empty video tape boxes organized neatly in alphabetical order, with a special section just for “new releases”. A trip to Blockbuster was always met with anticipation - except when the movie you were dying to see wasn’t in!
In 2000, Blockbuster was the king of the entertainment industry. With 9,000 stores and a market value of $5 billion, they were the movie rental industry. In late fees alone, they collected $800 million from customers. That’s 16% of their total revenue. Late fees were pure profit from customers who failed to return movies on time. Smart business by Blockbuster executives - except their customers hated them … like really hated them. They resented the $1 per day fees that could double or even triple the cost of their rental. Customers cited the anxiety of having to rush back to the store before the deadline as a major frustration. One customer, Reed Hastings, was charged $40 for returning Apollo 13 six weeks late. While that single late charge made them $40 the frustration sparked an idea that would eventually destroy Blockbuster entirely. Even as customer complaints grew, Blockbuster's leadership continued to ignore the concern. Clearly, it was making them too much money to address. By 2004, when Reed Hasting’s Netflix (yea, one of the co-founders of Netflix was spurned into action by a $40 late fee from Blockbuster!) was gaining momentum with its no-late-fee model. A desperate attempt to remove, then reinstate late fees in 2010, just as streaming was taking over, was futile. It was too late, Blockbuster filed for bankruptcy later that year. The company that had quietly accepted customer frustration was forced to watch as Netflix built a $280 billion empire on the foundation of the very pain point Blockbuster had dismissed. Why Should We Care? Our demise rarely announces itself with dramatic failures. It begins with silent acceptance. It’s the small things at first. Things that don’t necessarily threaten the core of the business - like late fees or touching lines, for example. Small concessions often compound into massive vulnerabilities. When we fail, or things go wrong, we often wonder how we got here. This is the answer. Silent acceptance is the start of the deterioration. It's rarely a single catastrophic event. It’s a thousand small compromises that we notice but choose not to address. Each instance seems too small to warrant confrontation, too minor to disrupt operations, too petty to make a priority. But silent acceptance doesn't maintain stability, it initiates the decline. These issues seem perfectly manageable until they’re not. Our personal pursuit of excellence follows the same pattern. High achievers who begin to struggle often trace their decline back to slipping standards they silently accepted. We tolerate work that is "good enough" when we once demanded excellence. We accepted behaviors from ourselves we’d never accept from others. We let small disciplines slide because "just this once" won't matter. This silent self-acceptance of lowered standards is exactly how excellence erodes from the inside out. The most dangerous lie isn't the big one you tell others - it's the small one you tell yourself about why declining standards don't really matter. REAL TALK - Action Steps Preventing silent acceptance requires intentional systems that surface small problems before they become threats to who we are striving to be. Here are a few ideas to get started:
Excellence lives or dies in the small moments when we choose between speaking up or staying silent. Once silent acceptance becomes your pattern, decline becomes inevitable. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Okay With ItChris Bosh, a member of Team USA Basketball in the 2008, clearly remembers one of the defining moments of the team heading into the 2008 Olympics. “We’re in Las Vegas and we all come down from the team breakfast at the start of the whole training camp,” Bosh recalls. “And Kobe comes in with ice on his knees and sweat drenched through his workout gear. And I’m like, ‘It’s 8 o’clock in the morning. Where is he coming from?”
Several other members of the ‘Redeem Team’, as the group would come to be known, embraced Kobe’s extra work mentality. Stars like, LeBron James and Dwayne Wade were among the earliest adopters. On the morning of Bosh’s observation Wade added, “Everybody else just woke up. We’re all yawning, and he’s already three hours and a full workout into his day.” While it was viewed by some as obsessive, it became contagious to others. What few appreciated is that Kobe wasn't waking up at 4 AM because he loved it. He wasn't bouncing out of bed with joy at the prospect of predawn workouts. He did it because he understood a truth of life - you don’t get what you want, you get what you’re willing to sacrifice for. Anything worth having requires hard work, and you don't need to love hard work to do it. But, you better be okay with it. Contrary to the stories surrounding Kobe’s legendary work ethic, he wasn’t a man in love with the grind as much as he was a man who had made peace with it. He had accepted that excellence requires doing things you don't want to do, at times you don't want to do them, for reasons that won't feel satisfying in the moment. That acceptance, not passion for suffering, is what separated Kobe from everyone else. Why Should We Care? Leadership advice abounds with guidance on ‘falling in love with the process’ or ‘learning to love the grind’ in order to achieve success. That would be great if we always enjoyed every aspect of the process or the work we do, but we don’t. Regardless of our profession or position, there are things we enjoy doing more and things we enjoy doing less. Loving every aspect of your responsibilities is not a requirement, and shouldn’t even be an expectation. What we actually need is something more realistic - we need to be okay with hard work. We need to accept it as the non-negotiable price of anything meaningful without requiring it to be enjoyable. Stop thinking you have to love it and start convincing yourself that you can handle it. So many leaders out there are waiting to feel motivated, waiting for the work to become enjoyable, waiting for some magical shift where discipline becomes effortless. It’s not happening. Meanwhile, there’s another group of leaders out there who sustain excellence and have simply made peace with discomfort. When you stop requiring yourself to love hard things and simply require yourself to embrace them, you eliminate the internal resistance that exhausts most people before they even begin. It’s okay to not particularly enjoy something yet do it anyway. It’s actually more than okay, it’s empowering because I know I have the power and willingness to choose it - even when it sucks. REAL TALK - Action Steps Shifting from needing to love hard work to simply accepting it requires honest acknowledgment of what you're actually experiencing and deliberate practice in tolerating discomfort without drama. Here are a few thoughts to move along that path:
The most sustainable path to excellence isn't falling in love with hard work. It's making peace with it. The standard worth pursuing is not a passion for suffering, but acceptance of it as the price of anything worth having. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
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