A Chance to Believe Being from St. Paris Graham, there’s a few things you are required to know: 1. What a Trucker’s Special at Mixin’s & Fixin’s is; 2. The difference between straw and hay; and 3. Wrestling. I’m well versed in all three. The Trucker’s Special is enough food for you to not eat for the next three days. Straw is yellow, hay is green. And, wrestling is a sport I’ve grown to truly appreciate - even as a basketball coach. The sacrifice and humility it requires is inspiring. And, it’s really cool when that sacrifice and humility meets an opportunity to believe.
Welcome to the Sydney Olympics in 2000. Rulon Gardner walked onto the wrestling mat as a 2,000:1 underdog. 2,000:1! His opponent was Aleksandr Karelin, the most dominant wrestler in history. Karelin was a three-time Olympic gold medalist, had won 887 of 888 matches, hadn't been beaten in 13 years, and hadn't surrendered a single point in six years. Three years earlier Gardner was one of Karenlin’s casualties, losing miserably and breaking two vertebrae in his neck. Literally no one believed Gardner, who had never finished higher than fifth in international competition, had a chance. A month before the Olympics, Gardner had been pinned by the number two Russian wrestler in 13 seconds. He wasn’t from wrestling royalty and didn't even make his high school wrestling team until his senior year. Gardner was a country kid from Wyoming who had developed his strength not through elite training programs but through twice-daily milking sessions and hauling countless bales of hay on his family's dairy farm. By every measurable standard, this was not a match. It was a hoop Karelin needed to jump through to claim his fourth consecutive gold medal. But Gardner saw things differently. While the world saw an impossible challenge, he chose a different perspective. Against all odds, the farm boy from Wyoming held on for a 1-0 victory that shocked the world. Gardner said afterward, "All those people who told me I could never get here and get on this stage, I'm going to show them.” The challenge everyone else saw as impossible became the chance Gardner used to believe. Why Should We Care? A challenge, regardless of how daunting it may seem, is not an obstacle to overcome. It’s an invitation to believe. Most people look at challenges and see reasons to doubt, but leaders who pursue excellence have learned to flip their perspective. They see challenges as the very context that makes belief meaningful. After all, belief isn't required when success is guaranteed. It only matters when the outcome is uncertain. The greater the challenge, the greater the opportunity to demonstrate what belief can accomplish. Belief is fascinating because of how it shapes our performance. Gardner didn't beat Karelin because he was physically superior. He won because he approached the match with a mindset that allowed him to compete at his highest level. Leaders who view challenges as chances to believe access potential that doubt-filled competitors never discover. They prepare more because they believe preparation matters and they persist longer because they believe persistence will be rewarded. The challenge doesn't change, but the mindset you approach it with changes everything about what becomes possible. High achievers who struggle often do so because they've allowed challenges to become evidence for doubt rather than opportunities for belief. Individuals who learn to reframe challenges as invitations to believe find inspiration when they realize the size of the challenge is actually the size of the opportunity. When you embrace challenges as chances to believe, you stop being limited by circumstances and start being defined by conviction. REAL TALK - Action Steps Operating from a challenge and opportunity mindset requires deliberate practices that train our brain to see opportunity where others see obstacles. Here are a few ideas to get started:
Every challenge you face is asking you the same question: Will you use this as evidence for doubt, or as an opportunity for belief? The circumstances don't determine the answer, your mindset does. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 Thanksgiving Is Always On a ThursdayHolidays are an interesting phenominon. They were once sacred days that the nation stopped to observe a great moment in the history of our nation, or our faith. Schools were out of session, businesses shut down, and everyone took the opportunity to stop and honor the day.
Those times seem to be over. I mean, Thanksgiving almost seems like the prelude to Christmas, given the ever growing Black Friday push. And, maybe some of these holidays should be examined for their true merit in today’s world. I’m not knowledgeable enough to debate that - I mean, celebrating those who can talk like a pirate every September 19th seems like a bit much but what do I know. I would, however, like to propose a weekly holiday that would positively impact your world. It requires no days off work, no store discounts or sales, and has no unwritten dress code. Thankful Thursdays. Why Should We Care? We should care because we suck at saying thank you. Kids do. Adults do. Professionals do. We’re not good at it. And, us not being good at it helps others not be good at it. So, we end up in a world with less appreciation for the good things that are happening and more contempt for the bad things that are happening. What if we just took a day to intentionally share our appreciation? What if we committed to be intentional about thanking our janitorial staff? Our bus drivers? The fast food workers handing us our food? Our family? Our friends? Our competitors? I’m convinced we don’t realize how contagious positive actions can be? It’s every bit as transferable as any disease. Everytime we share our appreciation for someone or something, we are more likely to find someone or something else we are thankful for. But more importantly, we are encouraging those around us to continue on by letting them know their work is appreciated. And, maybe - just maybe they’ll begin to share their appreciation a little more often. Saying thank you lifts people. It makes their, and your, life better. We all feel it. All we have to do is say it. REAL TALK - Action Steps Observing Thankful Thursday has become a highlight of the week for many people that have embraced this holiday. Occasionally it’s to someone that has helped me throughout the week, but more often than not I write to someone that may not realize I’m thankful for them - a former teacher, a friend I’ve thought about but haven’t talked to in awhile, a player ... You can’t go wrong. Here are a few ways to observe Thankful Thursday with your team or by yourself:
Official holiday or not, Thankful Thursday is worth observing. It’s probably even a little more meaningful if it remains as it is - reserved for those that see value in lifting those around them and consistently make the effort to do so. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Excellence is RebellionMichael Phelps didn’t just work hard. He was different. While most swimmers took Sundays off, Phelps trained every single day for five years straight. That’s 1,825 consecutive days in the pool. Fatigue, burnout, or even boredom would have been concerns for most swimmers, but Phelps wasn’t most swimmers and had no desire to be. His coach, Bob Bowman, points to a simple decision to just outwork everyone as a turning point in Phelps’ career. He swam 70,000 to 100,000 yards a week, often training twice a day during that time. Phelps even slept in a high-altitude chamber to simulate thinner air and boost his endurance.
If that wasn’t different enough, he also embraced outside the box methods like intense visualization, which happened to pay off bigtime for him. Before every race, Phelps would mentally rehearse every stroke, every turn, every possible scenario - even something as random as the possibility of his goggles breaking … like they did in the 2008 Beijing Olympics. No problem, he had been there before. Phelps still won gold and set a world record. Phelps rebelled against tradition. He rejected the idea of “normal” training, “normal” rest, and “normal” limits. He chose to be different. And that difference made him the most decorated Olympian in history. Why Should We Care? Leadership and excellence are much more about standing out than fitting in. Phelps’ story is a masterclass in rebellion against mediocrity. Leaders who want to build something extraordinary must be willing to do what others won’t. That might mean working when others rest, thinking when others react, or believing when others doubt. Nonetheless, you can’t be the same. In a society that rewards conformity and comfort, choosing excellence is a radical act. It requires saying no to the easy path and yes to the hard, weird, lonely one. It means building habits that others don’t understand and making sacrifices that others won’t make. It means holding a vision that others have never imagined, can’t even see, and often don’t want to see. Excellence creates gravity. When we choose to operate at a higher standard, we lift others with us. Teams rise to meet the energy of a leader who refuses to settle. Rebellion to excellence is more than personal, it’s contagious. When we choose to be different, we give others permission to do the same. When we rebel against the status quo we normalize ambition, discipline, and vision in environments that often reward comfort. The ripple effect of our rebellion can redefine what’s possible for everyone around us. REAL TALK - Action Steps So how do we channel our inner Phelps? Here are three ways to start rebelling toward excellence today:
Excellence is the daily decision to be different. By defying the average and embracing the discomfort that greatness demands, we begin to accept and eventually appreciate our own uniqueness. And once the confidence in that starts to flow, it doesn’t stop. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Silent AcceptanceI know you remember perusing the empty video tape boxes organized neatly in alphabetical order, with a special section just for “new releases”. A trip to Blockbuster was always met with anticipation - except when the movie you were dying to see wasn’t in!
In 2000, Blockbuster was the king of the entertainment industry. With 9,000 stores and a market value of $5 billion, they were the movie rental industry. In late fees alone, they collected $800 million from customers. That’s 16% of their total revenue. Late fees were pure profit from customers who failed to return movies on time. Smart business by Blockbuster executives - except their customers hated them … like really hated them. They resented the $1 per day fees that could double or even triple the cost of their rental. Customers cited the anxiety of having to rush back to the store before the deadline as a major frustration. One customer, Reed Hastings, was charged $40 for returning Apollo 13 six weeks late. While that single late charge made them $40 the frustration sparked an idea that would eventually destroy Blockbuster entirely. Even as customer complaints grew, Blockbuster's leadership continued to ignore the concern. Clearly, it was making them too much money to address. By 2004, when Reed Hasting’s Netflix (yea, one of the co-founders of Netflix was spurned into action by a $40 late fee from Blockbuster!) was gaining momentum with its no-late-fee model. A desperate attempt to remove, then reinstate late fees in 2010, just as streaming was taking over, was futile. It was too late, Blockbuster filed for bankruptcy later that year. The company that had quietly accepted customer frustration was forced to watch as Netflix built a $280 billion empire on the foundation of the very pain point Blockbuster had dismissed. Why Should We Care? Our demise rarely announces itself with dramatic failures. It begins with silent acceptance. It’s the small things at first. Things that don’t necessarily threaten the core of the business - like late fees or touching lines, for example. Small concessions often compound into massive vulnerabilities. When we fail, or things go wrong, we often wonder how we got here. This is the answer. Silent acceptance is the start of the deterioration. It's rarely a single catastrophic event. It’s a thousand small compromises that we notice but choose not to address. Each instance seems too small to warrant confrontation, too minor to disrupt operations, too petty to make a priority. But silent acceptance doesn't maintain stability, it initiates the decline. These issues seem perfectly manageable until they’re not. Our personal pursuit of excellence follows the same pattern. High achievers who begin to struggle often trace their decline back to slipping standards they silently accepted. We tolerate work that is "good enough" when we once demanded excellence. We accepted behaviors from ourselves we’d never accept from others. We let small disciplines slide because "just this once" won't matter. This silent self-acceptance of lowered standards is exactly how excellence erodes from the inside out. The most dangerous lie isn't the big one you tell others - it's the small one you tell yourself about why declining standards don't really matter. REAL TALK - Action Steps Preventing silent acceptance requires intentional systems that surface small problems before they become threats to who we are striving to be. Here are a few ideas to get started:
Excellence lives or dies in the small moments when we choose between speaking up or staying silent. Once silent acceptance becomes your pattern, decline becomes inevitable. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Okay With ItChris Bosh, a member of Team USA Basketball in the 2008, clearly remembers one of the defining moments of the team heading into the 2008 Olympics. “We’re in Las Vegas and we all come down from the team breakfast at the start of the whole training camp,” Bosh recalls. “And Kobe comes in with ice on his knees and sweat drenched through his workout gear. And I’m like, ‘It’s 8 o’clock in the morning. Where is he coming from?”
Several other members of the ‘Redeem Team’, as the group would come to be known, embraced Kobe’s extra work mentality. Stars like, LeBron James and Dwayne Wade were among the earliest adopters. On the morning of Bosh’s observation Wade added, “Everybody else just woke up. We’re all yawning, and he’s already three hours and a full workout into his day.” While it was viewed by some as obsessive, it became contagious to others. What few appreciated is that Kobe wasn't waking up at 4 AM because he loved it. He wasn't bouncing out of bed with joy at the prospect of predawn workouts. He did it because he understood a truth of life - you don’t get what you want, you get what you’re willing to sacrifice for. Anything worth having requires hard work, and you don't need to love hard work to do it. But, you better be okay with it. Contrary to the stories surrounding Kobe’s legendary work ethic, he wasn’t a man in love with the grind as much as he was a man who had made peace with it. He had accepted that excellence requires doing things you don't want to do, at times you don't want to do them, for reasons that won't feel satisfying in the moment. That acceptance, not passion for suffering, is what separated Kobe from everyone else. Why Should We Care? Leadership advice abounds with guidance on ‘falling in love with the process’ or ‘learning to love the grind’ in order to achieve success. That would be great if we always enjoyed every aspect of the process or the work we do, but we don’t. Regardless of our profession or position, there are things we enjoy doing more and things we enjoy doing less. Loving every aspect of your responsibilities is not a requirement, and shouldn’t even be an expectation. What we actually need is something more realistic - we need to be okay with hard work. We need to accept it as the non-negotiable price of anything meaningful without requiring it to be enjoyable. Stop thinking you have to love it and start convincing yourself that you can handle it. So many leaders out there are waiting to feel motivated, waiting for the work to become enjoyable, waiting for some magical shift where discipline becomes effortless. It’s not happening. Meanwhile, there’s another group of leaders out there who sustain excellence and have simply made peace with discomfort. When you stop requiring yourself to love hard things and simply require yourself to embrace them, you eliminate the internal resistance that exhausts most people before they even begin. It’s okay to not particularly enjoy something yet do it anyway. It’s actually more than okay, it’s empowering because I know I have the power and willingness to choose it - even when it sucks. REAL TALK - Action Steps Shifting from needing to love hard work to simply accepting it requires honest acknowledgment of what you're actually experiencing and deliberate practice in tolerating discomfort without drama. Here are a few thoughts to move along that path:
The most sustainable path to excellence isn't falling in love with hard work. It's making peace with it. The standard worth pursuing is not a passion for suffering, but acceptance of it as the price of anything worth having. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  The Dichotomy of the MomentHe simply called it “The Hill”. It was a brutal 2½ mile uphill sprint that Jerry Rice, widely regarded as the greatest wide receiver in NFL history, did six days a week during the off-season throughout his twenty year NFL career. His records speak for themselves, but what made Rice legendary wasn't a single moment of brilliance or a few spectacular seasons. It was something far more mundane that no one else was there to witness. Rice’s workouts were alone and challenged his mental toughness just as much as his physical endurance.
The remarkable thing about Rice's training wasn't just its intensity, but his unwavering commitment to it. While he recognized that each individual sprint up “The Hill” made virtually no noticeable difference to his performance, he continued them faithfully week after week and year after year. One sprint didn't transform him, neither did ten. But everyday, for years … and you have something extraordinary. Rice later reflected: "The only thing I look back on is how I performed in the fourth quarter. A lot of players are tired in the fourth quarter, and they can't fight through that pain. But I had sacrificed so much during the offseason in the way I trained, I could endure that and still focus on what I had to accomplish". That’s precisely the dichotomy: if Rice had failed to value each individual sprint - if he'd skipped a few hill runs because it wouldn't make a noticeable difference - he would have begun eroding the foundation that allowed him to be his best when it mattered most. The single sprint was simultaneously insignificant and absolutely essential. One thousand sprints created a legend, but only because Rice treated sprint number one with the same reverence as sprint number one thousand. Why Should We Care? This is the ultimate performance paradox - individual moments of excellence seem to matter very little, yet they are the only thing that ultimately matters. When we make one good decision, send one thoughtful email, or have one difficult conversation, the impact feels negligible. The needle barely moves. No one throws a parade. This is precisely why most leaders fail to achieve sustained excellence. We’ve been conditioned to look for the homerun, the public initiative, the dramatic move that will change everything at once. Meanwhile, we dismiss the daily disciplines that actually create transformation because each one seems too small to matter. This principle becomes crucial when we examine how lasting change actually occurs. Leaders who focus on brilliant strategies while neglecting daily execution discover that their plans never materialize into results. On the other hand, leaders who understand the dichotomy of the moment, that each day's work is simultaneously insignificant and irreplaceable, build cultures that compound over time. Like “The Hill” runs, the first hundred days of consistently modeling the behavior we want to see might not produce visible results. The accumulation of those moments, however, creates something that cannot be built any other way. The personal pursuit of excellence follows the same pattern. Leaders often struggle with this dichotomy. If we can't value the moment because its impact is invisible, we’ll never accumulate enough moments to create a tangible impact. Holding this paradox in tension becomes the challenge. Can we treat each moment as if it matters immensely while knowing that no single moment will determine our legacy? The greatest challenge in the pursuit of excellence isn't doing the hard thing once; it's maintaining reverence for doing it again when the thousandth repetition feels no different than the first. REAL TALK - Action Steps Mastering the dichotomy of the moment requires developing systems that help you value and execute on seemingly insignificant actions that compound into extraordinary results. Here’s a few ideas to get you started:
This is the dichotomy we must embrace - value every swing of the axe, not because it will bring down the tree, but because one thousand swings only happens one swing at a time. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  The ShouldingsIn August 2019, prime 29 year old Andrew Luck announced his retirement from the NFL. He was a former number one overall draft pick, a Pro Bowl quarterback, and had just led the Colts to the playoffs while earning himself the Comeback Player of the Year award. By every external measure, he should have been on top of the world. But, he wasn’t.
"For the last four years or so, I've been in this cycle of injury, pain, rehab, injury, pain, rehab, and it's been unceasing, unrelenting, both in-season and offseason, and I felt stuck in it. The only way I see out is to no longer play football." While Luck’s retirement sent shockwaves through the entire National Football League, the more fascinating story was that he had the awareness to recognize something that once brought him joy had become something he felt he should endure. Luck had always been a football junky. He loved every aspect of the game. But somewhere in the cycle of injuries, something changed. The should had replaced the excitement. He should keep playing because of his talent. He should honor his contract. He should push through for his teammates and fans. Yet each of these shoulds felt heavy rather than energizing, an obligation rather than an opportunity. Walking away, Luck demonstrated a profound level of self-awareness that many leaders never achieve. He recognized that when your mind is telling you something feels wrong, no amount of external validation can make it feel right. Why Should We Care? Not all shoulds are created equal. Some shoulds align with your authentic self while others stem from external expectations, like fear and obligation. Pay attention to the feeling that accompanies the should-thought. Does it create a sense of anticipation and possibility or does it create a heaviness, a sense of resentment and obligation? The first type of should is your true self pointing you toward growth that serves your purpose. The second type is your false self, the voice of what others expect, what looks impressive, or what you think you're supposed to do. This awareness becomes crucial when we consider how we make decisions around our priorities. Too many leaders find themselves in Andrew Luck's cycle of pursuing achievements that once excited them but now feel like obligations they can't escape. They should pursue the promotion because it's the next logical step. They should maintain their hectic schedule because that's what successful people do. They should say yes to opportunities because that’s the only way they can climb the ladder. But each heavy should creates distance from your authentic self and replace genuine passion with performance of success. Examining your shoulds shines a light on what you truly value versus what you've been conditioned to value. For leaders pursuing excellence, this kind of awareness is transformative. It allows you to invest your energy in pursuits that genuinely matter to you rather than exhausting yourself trying to live up to images of success that were never truly yours. The most impactful leaders aren't those who achieved every goal society told them to pursue, but those who had the courage to define success on their terms then live it. REAL TALK - Action Steps Developing the awareness to distinguish between authentic calling and false obligation requires intentional practice in noticing how different commitments make you feel. Here’s a few ideas to become more aware:
Your joy, your energy, and your authentic contribution to the world depend on following the shoulds that make you feel more alive, not the ones that slowly drain your life away. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Releasing ReputationThroughout her career, Serena Williams faced a common challenge that most athletes experience, but to an extreme degree. For her, the scrutiny was constant not just of her performance, but of her body, her emotions, her fashion, and her authenticity. For years, she could have shaped herself to fit others' expectations, softened her intensity to seem more acceptable, or hidden her emotions to protect her reputation.
Serena made a different choice. She faced resistance from traditionalists within the tennis community because of her outspoken nature, but rather than retreat, she leaned into authenticity. While fans saw her as a strong and utterly powerful person who never gives up, privately she knew otherwise. Serena once explained how her on-court self is completely different from her off-court personality. When she opened up about her struggle with confidence, the vulnerability - showing both her strength and her fragility - could have damaged her carefully cultivated image as an invincible competitor. Then she let go. Serena stopped trying to manage everyone's opinion of her. She had become a mother and vulnerability flowed. She was now mild-mannered and acknowledged that her body was different. Her devotion had shifted from focusing solely on tennis to raising her daughter. Serena began releasing her grip on her reputation and embracing her full self - the fierce competitor, the devoted mother, the outspoken advocate. Needless to say, she didn't lose influence. She gained it. Why Should We Care? Here’s a truth of leadership: the energy you spend managing your reputation is energy you can't invest in actual growth and impact. Most people live in a prison of reputation management, carefully curating their image, avoiding vulnerability, and making decisions based on how they'll be perceived rather than what's genuinely right or necessary. This creates an exhausting dilemma where excellence requires authenticity and boldness, but protecting reputation demands conformity and caution. The leaders who break through to transformational impact are those who realize that releasing concern for reputation isn't reckless - it's the only way to access their full capacity for leadership. Leaders worried about their reputation make conservative choices designed to avoid criticism rather than choices designed to create value. They delay difficult conversations to preserve likability, withhold controversial opinions to maintain consensus, and pursue visible achievements that look impressive rather than meaningful work that might go unnoticed. But leaders who have released their attachment to reputation can take the risks that excellence requires. They can admit mistakes without fearing professional death, champion unpopular ideas without needing immediate validation, and prioritize long-term impact over short-term approval. High achievers who remain bound by reputation concerns often find themselves performing a version of success rather than experiencing excellence - achieving goals that impress others while neglecting pursuits that fulfill them, maintaining an image of having it all together while struggling privately, and measuring worth by external validation rather than internal alignment. When you stop trying to protect your reputation, you often build a better one - because authenticity and courage are ultimately more compelling than carefully managed perfection. REAL TALK - Action Steps Releasing your reputation doesn't mean abandoning professionalism or character - it means freeing yourself from the exhausting work of impression management so you can focus on meaningful contribution. Here’s a few ideas on staying on that path:
True leadership excellence emerges not when you perfect your reputation, but when you release your attachment to it. When you stop spending energy managing others' perceptions and start investing it in genuine contribution, you discover a freedom that transforms both your effectiveness and your experience of leadership. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Best Supporting ActorIt’s 2004 and the Phoenix Suns are coming off a dismal 29-53 season. The projection for the upcoming season was bleak and the seemingly insignificant addition of 30-year-old point guard, Steve Nash, did little to change it. Nash wasn’t exactly a flashy acquisition. But, while the statistics he arrived with could be measured, his ability to make everyone around him better could not.
In Nash's first season with Phoenix, the team improved by 33 games - the largest single-season leap in NBA history at the time. Nash was great, averaging a league leading 11.5 assists per game. But the statistics barely capture what Nash actually did. Players like Shawn Marion and Amar'e Stoudemire, who had been solid contributors, suddenly became All-Stars with Nash’s ability to bring out the best in them. From an overall team standpoint, Phoenix was nearly 15 points better with Nash on the court than with him on the bench. What made Nash's approach so impactful was his understanding that his job wasn't to be the best player on the court - it was to help everyone else become their best. Nash had an uncanny gift for creating passing lanes that didn’t exist for other players, but more importantly, he knew exactly where each teammate wanted the ball and how to get it to them in positions where they could succeed. Nash didn't chase his own statistics and in doing so, won two MVP awards. Instead he orchestrated an offense where everyone thrived. Rather than dominating the spotlight he ensured the spotlight found the right person at the right moment. He understood what many striving for excellence miss: the greatest leaders are best at making someone else the star of the show. Why Should We Care? Nash's approach reveals a fundamental truth about effective leadership that runs counter to how most people think about success: the best leaders aren't those who demonstrate their own excellence, but those who create the conditions for others to demonstrate theirs. Too many leaders fall into the trap of being the "best actor" - making sure their own contributions are noticed, their ideas are implemented, and their achievements are recognized. This makes it about you. But leadership isn’t about you. It’s about your people. Nash-style leadership multiplies your impact through others rather than putting a ceiling on it. This principle becomes crucial if we aspire to sustain excellence. There’s definitely a draw to be the "best actor", but while you might receive some of the recognition you are looking for you are also signing your team up for dramatic ups and downs because the team's performance is so dependent on your daily energy, availability, and decisions. When everything flows through you, a bottleneck is instantly created. Conversely, a "best supporting actor" approach creates depth, resilience, and distributed capability. Excellence becomes embedded in the culture rather than dependent on an individual. Our personal pursuit of excellence follows the same pattern. Leaders who measure their success primarily by their own visible achievements often find themselves isolated, overwhelmed, and ultimately limited. But leaders who define success by how much they elevate others discover something counterintuitive: by making others better, they become more valuable, more influential, and more effective than they ever could have been by focusing solely on personal performance. Nash could have averaged 25 points per game if he'd wanted to, but he wouldn't have won MVP awards or transformed a franchise. His greatness came precisely from his willingness to be the supporting actor in everyone else's success story. REAL TALK - Action Steps Shifting from "best actor" to "best supporting actor" leadership requires intentional changes in how you spend your time and measure your success. Here’s a few ideas to get you started:
The transition from best actor to best supporting actor isn't about diminishing your own capabilities or hiding your talents - it's about recognizing that leadership at its highest level is measured not by what you accomplish directly, but by what you make possible for others. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  The Tyranny of OrTim Duncan's nickname was "The Big Fundamental," but what separated him from all other NBA stars wasn’t his size, athleticism, or unworldly skill set - it was how he masterfully blended being a fierce competitor with a caring teammate. Throughout his 19-season career with the San Antonio Spurs, Duncan consistently demonstrated that you don't have to choose between pursuing excellence and building deep relationships. In fact, Duncan proved that the two actually amplify each other.
Duncan set himself apart from players who craved attention and recognition, opting for the humble and simple approach that prioritized team success over individual glory. This wasn't softness disguised as leadership - it was a genuine investment in relationships that enabled higher performance. Duncan was known for his quiet leadership style, but he also had a deep sense of empathy for his teammates. He always took the time to listen to their concerns, offer guidance, and provide support. By showing genuine care and understanding, he created an unbreakable sense of camaraderie and unity among his teammates. The results? How about five NBA championships, three Finals MVPs, and a culture of sustained excellence that lasted two decades? More importantly to Duncan, his teammates consistently spoke about how his genuine care for them as people made them want to give everything they had. His personal excellence wasn't separate from his relational excellence - they were the same thing expressed differently. Duncan understood that championship-level performance requires championship-level trust, and championship-level trust comes from genuine care for the people you're competing alongside. Why Should We Care? Duncan's approach spotlights a fundamental misconception that limits most leaders: the belief that you must choose between driving hard for results and investing deeply in relationships. This "tyranny of or" thinking creates a false narrative that forces leaders to see themselves as either task-focused achievers or people-focused nurturers, when in reality the most effective leaders excel at both simultaneously. The highest-performing teams and organizations don't happen despite strong relationships - they happen because of them. When people trust that their leader genuinely cares about their growth and wellbeing, they're willing to push themselves harder and perform at levels they didn't know they possessed. This principle becomes crucial when we examine how sustainable excellence actually develops. Leaders who prioritize only results often achieve short-term gains at the cost of long-term effectiveness, burning out their teams and creating environments where people give their minimum acceptable effort rather than their maximum potential. On the other hand, leaders who focus only on relationships without demanding excellence create country club comfort that serves no one's highest interests. But leaders who master both create cultures where high standards and deep care reinforce each other, producing both exceptional results and exceptional people. Relationships aren't the soft side of leadership - they're the foundation that makes hard-driving excellence possible. When people know you're invested in them as whole human beings, not just as cogs in the wheel, they're more willing to be challenged, more resilient in the face of setbacks, and more committed to the collective success that requires individual sacrifice. Excellence becomes not something imposed from above, but something pursued together because everyone knows the leader's demands come from a place of belief in their potential, not exploitation of their effort. REAL TALK - Action Steps Escaping the ‘tyranny of or’ requires intentional practices that demonstrate genuine care while maintaining uncompromising standards for performance. Here are a few ideas to get, or stay, on this path:
The most transformational leaders understand that excellence and relationships aren't competing priorities - they're complementary strengths that create exponential impact when combined. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
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