 Okay With ItChris Bosh, a member of Team USA Basketball in the 2008, clearly remembers one of the defining moments of the team heading into the 2008 Olympics. “We’re in Las Vegas and we all come down from the team breakfast at the start of the whole training camp,” Bosh recalls. “And Kobe comes in with ice on his knees and sweat drenched through his workout gear. And I’m like, ‘It’s 8 o’clock in the morning. Where is he coming from?”
Several other members of the ‘Redeem Team’, as the group would come to be known, embraced Kobe’s extra work mentality. Stars like, LeBron James and Dwayne Wade were among the earliest adopters. On the morning of Bosh’s observation Wade added, “Everybody else just woke up. We’re all yawning, and he’s already three hours and a full workout into his day.” While it was viewed by some as obsessive, it became contagious to others. What few appreciated is that Kobe wasn't waking up at 4 AM because he loved it. He wasn't bouncing out of bed with joy at the prospect of predawn workouts. He did it because he understood a truth of life - you don’t get what you want, you get what you’re willing to sacrifice for. Anything worth having requires hard work, and you don't need to love hard work to do it. But, you better be okay with it. Contrary to the stories surrounding Kobe’s legendary work ethic, he wasn’t a man in love with the grind as much as he was a man who had made peace with it. He had accepted that excellence requires doing things you don't want to do, at times you don't want to do them, for reasons that won't feel satisfying in the moment. That acceptance, not passion for suffering, is what separated Kobe from everyone else. Why Should We Care? Leadership advice abounds with guidance on ‘falling in love with the process’ or ‘learning to love the grind’ in order to achieve success. That would be great if we always enjoyed every aspect of the process or the work we do, but we don’t. Regardless of our profession or position, there are things we enjoy doing more and things we enjoy doing less. Loving every aspect of your responsibilities is not a requirement, and shouldn’t even be an expectation. What we actually need is something more realistic - we need to be okay with hard work. We need to accept it as the non-negotiable price of anything meaningful without requiring it to be enjoyable. Stop thinking you have to love it and start convincing yourself that you can handle it. So many leaders out there are waiting to feel motivated, waiting for the work to become enjoyable, waiting for some magical shift where discipline becomes effortless. It’s not happening. Meanwhile, there’s another group of leaders out there who sustain excellence and have simply made peace with discomfort. When you stop requiring yourself to love hard things and simply require yourself to embrace them, you eliminate the internal resistance that exhausts most people before they even begin. It’s okay to not particularly enjoy something yet do it anyway. It’s actually more than okay, it’s empowering because I know I have the power and willingness to choose it - even when it sucks. REAL TALK - Action Steps Shifting from needing to love hard work to simply accepting it requires honest acknowledgment of what you're actually experiencing and deliberate practice in tolerating discomfort without drama. Here are a few thoughts to move along that path:
The most sustainable path to excellence isn't falling in love with hard work. It's making peace with it. The standard worth pursuing is not a passion for suffering, but acceptance of it as the price of anything worth having. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 The Dichotomy of the MomentHe simply called it “The Hill”. It was a brutal 2½ mile uphill sprint that Jerry Rice, widely regarded as the greatest wide receiver in NFL history, did six days a week during the off-season throughout his twenty year NFL career. His records speak for themselves, but what made Rice legendary wasn't a single moment of brilliance or a few spectacular seasons. It was something far more mundane that no one else was there to witness. Rice’s workouts were alone and challenged his mental toughness just as much as his physical endurance.
The remarkable thing about Rice's training wasn't just its intensity, but his unwavering commitment to it. While he recognized that each individual sprint up “The Hill” made virtually no noticeable difference to his performance, he continued them faithfully week after week and year after year. One sprint didn't transform him, neither did ten. But everyday, for years … and you have something extraordinary. Rice later reflected: "The only thing I look back on is how I performed in the fourth quarter. A lot of players are tired in the fourth quarter, and they can't fight through that pain. But I had sacrificed so much during the offseason in the way I trained, I could endure that and still focus on what I had to accomplish". That’s precisely the dichotomy: if Rice had failed to value each individual sprint - if he'd skipped a few hill runs because it wouldn't make a noticeable difference - he would have begun eroding the foundation that allowed him to be his best when it mattered most. The single sprint was simultaneously insignificant and absolutely essential. One thousand sprints created a legend, but only because Rice treated sprint number one with the same reverence as sprint number one thousand. Why Should We Care? This is the ultimate performance paradox - individual moments of excellence seem to matter very little, yet they are the only thing that ultimately matters. When we make one good decision, send one thoughtful email, or have one difficult conversation, the impact feels negligible. The needle barely moves. No one throws a parade. This is precisely why most leaders fail to achieve sustained excellence. We’ve been conditioned to look for the homerun, the public initiative, the dramatic move that will change everything at once. Meanwhile, we dismiss the daily disciplines that actually create transformation because each one seems too small to matter. This principle becomes crucial when we examine how lasting change actually occurs. Leaders who focus on brilliant strategies while neglecting daily execution discover that their plans never materialize into results. On the other hand, leaders who understand the dichotomy of the moment, that each day's work is simultaneously insignificant and irreplaceable, build cultures that compound over time. Like “The Hill” runs, the first hundred days of consistently modeling the behavior we want to see might not produce visible results. The accumulation of those moments, however, creates something that cannot be built any other way. The personal pursuit of excellence follows the same pattern. Leaders often struggle with this dichotomy. If we can't value the moment because its impact is invisible, we’ll never accumulate enough moments to create a tangible impact. Holding this paradox in tension becomes the challenge. Can we treat each moment as if it matters immensely while knowing that no single moment will determine our legacy? The greatest challenge in the pursuit of excellence isn't doing the hard thing once; it's maintaining reverence for doing it again when the thousandth repetition feels no different than the first. REAL TALK - Action Steps Mastering the dichotomy of the moment requires developing systems that help you value and execute on seemingly insignificant actions that compound into extraordinary results. Here’s a few ideas to get you started:
This is the dichotomy we must embrace - value every swing of the axe, not because it will bring down the tree, but because one thousand swings only happens one swing at a time. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  The ShouldingsIn August 2019, prime 29 year old Andrew Luck announced his retirement from the NFL. He was a former number one overall draft pick, a Pro Bowl quarterback, and had just led the Colts to the playoffs while earning himself the Comeback Player of the Year award. By every external measure, he should have been on top of the world. But, he wasn’t.
"For the last four years or so, I've been in this cycle of injury, pain, rehab, injury, pain, rehab, and it's been unceasing, unrelenting, both in-season and offseason, and I felt stuck in it. The only way I see out is to no longer play football." While Luck’s retirement sent shockwaves through the entire National Football League, the more fascinating story was that he had the awareness to recognize something that once brought him joy had become something he felt he should endure. Luck had always been a football junky. He loved every aspect of the game. But somewhere in the cycle of injuries, something changed. The should had replaced the excitement. He should keep playing because of his talent. He should honor his contract. He should push through for his teammates and fans. Yet each of these shoulds felt heavy rather than energizing, an obligation rather than an opportunity. Walking away, Luck demonstrated a profound level of self-awareness that many leaders never achieve. He recognized that when your mind is telling you something feels wrong, no amount of external validation can make it feel right. Why Should We Care? Not all shoulds are created equal. Some shoulds align with your authentic self while others stem from external expectations, like fear and obligation. Pay attention to the feeling that accompanies the should-thought. Does it create a sense of anticipation and possibility or does it create a heaviness, a sense of resentment and obligation? The first type of should is your true self pointing you toward growth that serves your purpose. The second type is your false self, the voice of what others expect, what looks impressive, or what you think you're supposed to do. This awareness becomes crucial when we consider how we make decisions around our priorities. Too many leaders find themselves in Andrew Luck's cycle of pursuing achievements that once excited them but now feel like obligations they can't escape. They should pursue the promotion because it's the next logical step. They should maintain their hectic schedule because that's what successful people do. They should say yes to opportunities because that’s the only way they can climb the ladder. But each heavy should creates distance from your authentic self and replace genuine passion with performance of success. Examining your shoulds shines a light on what you truly value versus what you've been conditioned to value. For leaders pursuing excellence, this kind of awareness is transformative. It allows you to invest your energy in pursuits that genuinely matter to you rather than exhausting yourself trying to live up to images of success that were never truly yours. The most impactful leaders aren't those who achieved every goal society told them to pursue, but those who had the courage to define success on their terms then live it. REAL TALK - Action Steps Developing the awareness to distinguish between authentic calling and false obligation requires intentional practice in noticing how different commitments make you feel. Here’s a few ideas to become more aware:
Your joy, your energy, and your authentic contribution to the world depend on following the shoulds that make you feel more alive, not the ones that slowly drain your life away. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Releasing ReputationThroughout her career, Serena Williams faced a common challenge that most athletes experience, but to an extreme degree. For her, the scrutiny was constant not just of her performance, but of her body, her emotions, her fashion, and her authenticity. For years, she could have shaped herself to fit others' expectations, softened her intensity to seem more acceptable, or hidden her emotions to protect her reputation.
Serena made a different choice. She faced resistance from traditionalists within the tennis community because of her outspoken nature, but rather than retreat, she leaned into authenticity. While fans saw her as a strong and utterly powerful person who never gives up, privately she knew otherwise. Serena once explained how her on-court self is completely different from her off-court personality. When she opened up about her struggle with confidence, the vulnerability - showing both her strength and her fragility - could have damaged her carefully cultivated image as an invincible competitor. Then she let go. Serena stopped trying to manage everyone's opinion of her. She had become a mother and vulnerability flowed. She was now mild-mannered and acknowledged that her body was different. Her devotion had shifted from focusing solely on tennis to raising her daughter. Serena began releasing her grip on her reputation and embracing her full self - the fierce competitor, the devoted mother, the outspoken advocate. Needless to say, she didn't lose influence. She gained it. Why Should We Care? Here’s a truth of leadership: the energy you spend managing your reputation is energy you can't invest in actual growth and impact. Most people live in a prison of reputation management, carefully curating their image, avoiding vulnerability, and making decisions based on how they'll be perceived rather than what's genuinely right or necessary. This creates an exhausting dilemma where excellence requires authenticity and boldness, but protecting reputation demands conformity and caution. The leaders who break through to transformational impact are those who realize that releasing concern for reputation isn't reckless - it's the only way to access their full capacity for leadership. Leaders worried about their reputation make conservative choices designed to avoid criticism rather than choices designed to create value. They delay difficult conversations to preserve likability, withhold controversial opinions to maintain consensus, and pursue visible achievements that look impressive rather than meaningful work that might go unnoticed. But leaders who have released their attachment to reputation can take the risks that excellence requires. They can admit mistakes without fearing professional death, champion unpopular ideas without needing immediate validation, and prioritize long-term impact over short-term approval. High achievers who remain bound by reputation concerns often find themselves performing a version of success rather than experiencing excellence - achieving goals that impress others while neglecting pursuits that fulfill them, maintaining an image of having it all together while struggling privately, and measuring worth by external validation rather than internal alignment. When you stop trying to protect your reputation, you often build a better one - because authenticity and courage are ultimately more compelling than carefully managed perfection. REAL TALK - Action Steps Releasing your reputation doesn't mean abandoning professionalism or character - it means freeing yourself from the exhausting work of impression management so you can focus on meaningful contribution. Here’s a few ideas on staying on that path:
True leadership excellence emerges not when you perfect your reputation, but when you release your attachment to it. When you stop spending energy managing others' perceptions and start investing it in genuine contribution, you discover a freedom that transforms both your effectiveness and your experience of leadership. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Best Supporting ActorIt’s 2004 and the Phoenix Suns are coming off a dismal 29-53 season. The projection for the upcoming season was bleak and the seemingly insignificant addition of 30-year-old point guard, Steve Nash, did little to change it. Nash wasn’t exactly a flashy acquisition. But, while the statistics he arrived with could be measured, his ability to make everyone around him better could not.
In Nash's first season with Phoenix, the team improved by 33 games - the largest single-season leap in NBA history at the time. Nash was great, averaging a league leading 11.5 assists per game. But the statistics barely capture what Nash actually did. Players like Shawn Marion and Amar'e Stoudemire, who had been solid contributors, suddenly became All-Stars with Nash’s ability to bring out the best in them. From an overall team standpoint, Phoenix was nearly 15 points better with Nash on the court than with him on the bench. What made Nash's approach so impactful was his understanding that his job wasn't to be the best player on the court - it was to help everyone else become their best. Nash had an uncanny gift for creating passing lanes that didn’t exist for other players, but more importantly, he knew exactly where each teammate wanted the ball and how to get it to them in positions where they could succeed. Nash didn't chase his own statistics and in doing so, won two MVP awards. Instead he orchestrated an offense where everyone thrived. Rather than dominating the spotlight he ensured the spotlight found the right person at the right moment. He understood what many striving for excellence miss: the greatest leaders are best at making someone else the star of the show. Why Should We Care? Nash's approach reveals a fundamental truth about effective leadership that runs counter to how most people think about success: the best leaders aren't those who demonstrate their own excellence, but those who create the conditions for others to demonstrate theirs. Too many leaders fall into the trap of being the "best actor" - making sure their own contributions are noticed, their ideas are implemented, and their achievements are recognized. This makes it about you. But leadership isn’t about you. It’s about your people. Nash-style leadership multiplies your impact through others rather than putting a ceiling on it. This principle becomes crucial if we aspire to sustain excellence. There’s definitely a draw to be the "best actor", but while you might receive some of the recognition you are looking for you are also signing your team up for dramatic ups and downs because the team's performance is so dependent on your daily energy, availability, and decisions. When everything flows through you, a bottleneck is instantly created. Conversely, a "best supporting actor" approach creates depth, resilience, and distributed capability. Excellence becomes embedded in the culture rather than dependent on an individual. Our personal pursuit of excellence follows the same pattern. Leaders who measure their success primarily by their own visible achievements often find themselves isolated, overwhelmed, and ultimately limited. But leaders who define success by how much they elevate others discover something counterintuitive: by making others better, they become more valuable, more influential, and more effective than they ever could have been by focusing solely on personal performance. Nash could have averaged 25 points per game if he'd wanted to, but he wouldn't have won MVP awards or transformed a franchise. His greatness came precisely from his willingness to be the supporting actor in everyone else's success story. REAL TALK - Action Steps Shifting from "best actor" to "best supporting actor" leadership requires intentional changes in how you spend your time and measure your success. Here’s a few ideas to get you started:
The transition from best actor to best supporting actor isn't about diminishing your own capabilities or hiding your talents - it's about recognizing that leadership at its highest level is measured not by what you accomplish directly, but by what you make possible for others. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  The Tyranny of OrTim Duncan's nickname was "The Big Fundamental," but what separated him from all other NBA stars wasn’t his size, athleticism, or unworldly skill set - it was how he masterfully blended being a fierce competitor with a caring teammate. Throughout his 19-season career with the San Antonio Spurs, Duncan consistently demonstrated that you don't have to choose between pursuing excellence and building deep relationships. In fact, Duncan proved that the two actually amplify each other.
Duncan set himself apart from players who craved attention and recognition, opting for the humble and simple approach that prioritized team success over individual glory. This wasn't softness disguised as leadership - it was a genuine investment in relationships that enabled higher performance. Duncan was known for his quiet leadership style, but he also had a deep sense of empathy for his teammates. He always took the time to listen to their concerns, offer guidance, and provide support. By showing genuine care and understanding, he created an unbreakable sense of camaraderie and unity among his teammates. The results? How about five NBA championships, three Finals MVPs, and a culture of sustained excellence that lasted two decades? More importantly to Duncan, his teammates consistently spoke about how his genuine care for them as people made them want to give everything they had. His personal excellence wasn't separate from his relational excellence - they were the same thing expressed differently. Duncan understood that championship-level performance requires championship-level trust, and championship-level trust comes from genuine care for the people you're competing alongside. Why Should We Care? Duncan's approach spotlights a fundamental misconception that limits most leaders: the belief that you must choose between driving hard for results and investing deeply in relationships. This "tyranny of or" thinking creates a false narrative that forces leaders to see themselves as either task-focused achievers or people-focused nurturers, when in reality the most effective leaders excel at both simultaneously. The highest-performing teams and organizations don't happen despite strong relationships - they happen because of them. When people trust that their leader genuinely cares about their growth and wellbeing, they're willing to push themselves harder and perform at levels they didn't know they possessed. This principle becomes crucial when we examine how sustainable excellence actually develops. Leaders who prioritize only results often achieve short-term gains at the cost of long-term effectiveness, burning out their teams and creating environments where people give their minimum acceptable effort rather than their maximum potential. On the other hand, leaders who focus only on relationships without demanding excellence create country club comfort that serves no one's highest interests. But leaders who master both create cultures where high standards and deep care reinforce each other, producing both exceptional results and exceptional people. Relationships aren't the soft side of leadership - they're the foundation that makes hard-driving excellence possible. When people know you're invested in them as whole human beings, not just as cogs in the wheel, they're more willing to be challenged, more resilient in the face of setbacks, and more committed to the collective success that requires individual sacrifice. Excellence becomes not something imposed from above, but something pursued together because everyone knows the leader's demands come from a place of belief in their potential, not exploitation of their effort. REAL TALK - Action Steps Escaping the ‘tyranny of or’ requires intentional practices that demonstrate genuine care while maintaining uncompromising standards for performance. Here are a few ideas to get, or stay, on this path:
The most transformational leaders understand that excellence and relationships aren't competing priorities - they're complementary strengths that create exponential impact when combined. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Standards TalkTom Brady and Bill Belichick had a unique relationship. It was always respectful but never smooth, always successful but never completely joyous. As the 199th draft pick, Brady never overwhelmed with talent. And Belichick, with his all-business disposition never impressed with his personality. What both men did wholeheartedly embrace was Belichick's relentless expectations that unlocked something in Brady that even he didn't know existed.
Belichick recalled, "Every meeting I went into, I felt like I had to be as well prepared as he was." This wasn't about Brady being difficult - it was about Belichick setting an expectation that preparation would be mutual and excellence would be non-negotiable. When Brady would challenge him in meetings, asking detailed questions about opponents that forced Belichick to dig deeper, it became clear that high expectations had created a culture where everyone had to rise to meet the standard. To the rest of the team, these expectations communicated that no one - not even the legendary coach and starting quarterback - were exempt from the expectation of constant improvement. To Brady himself, it reinforced that his potential was limitless. There was always another level to reach. To the media and fans, it demonstrated that success wasn't accidental but the result of systematic excellence. It was something they prioritized and acted intentionally on. They left nothing to chance. To their opponents, it sent a clear message - we're not just trying to beat you today, we're building something that will dominate for years. Those expectations became the foundation for six Super Bowl victories, but more importantly, they created a standard that transformed everyone who encountered it. Brady and Belichick didn't just expect to win - they expected to redefine what winning looked like. Why Should We Care? High standards function as the ultimate communication system that operates on multiple levels simultaneously. When leaders set ambitious expectations, they're not just expressing hopes - they're broadcasting beliefs that fundamentally alter relationships and performance. Those we lead don't just hear the success we expect; they hear the capabilities we see in them that they hadn't recognized in themselves. This message of belief becomes more powerful than any strategy or technique because it changes the identity of our team. The most effective leaders understand that their expectations function as prophetic declarations that can either limit or unleash the potential of those they lead. This principle becomes crucial when we consider how expectations shape organizational culture and individual performance. Teams and individuals tend to rise or fall to the level of expectations placed on them, not because of external pressure, but because expectations communicate identity. When leaders consistently expect excellence, they signal that mediocrity isn't acceptable because it fails to honor who their people truly are. Conversely, when leaders lower expectations to be "realistic" or avoid disappointment, they inadvertently communicate that limitation is acceptable. The message received isn't just about performance targets - it's about worth, potential, and possibility. The ripple effects of high expectations extend far beyond immediate performance outcomes. When you consistently expect more from yourself and others, you create an environment where growth becomes inevitable and excellence becomes normal. People begin to see challenges as opportunities to rise rather than threats to survival. They start making decisions based on their potential rather than their current limitations. Most importantly, they begin to expect more from themselves, creating a self-reinforcing cycle of improvement that continues long after the original expectations were set. REAL TALK - Action Steps The power of expectations requires intentional cultivation - you can't accidentally communicate belief or casually inspire excellence. Here are three ways to harness expectation as a leader:
Your expectations are never neutral - they're either elevating or diminishing the people around you. When you choose to expect excellence, you're not just hoping for better outcomes; you're communicating a fundamental belief in human potential. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Misguided PrioritiesIt's October 1993, and Michael Jordan is shocking the sports world by announcing his retirement from basketball at age 30, his peak to this point in his career. He has just led the Chicago Bulls to their third consecutive NBA championship, is the league's most dominant player, and seems destined for more titles. But Jordan is drowning in pressure - none of which have anything to do with basketball.
The pressure Jordan feels isn't coming from the game he loves - it's coming from everything else that has been layered on top of it. Endorsement obligations, media appearances, public expectations, and the weight of being an icon have transformed basketball from a source of joy into a burden of responsibility. The death of his father that summer has given him perspective: life is short, and he is spending it serving priorities that aren't truly his own. So Jordan does something that seems impossible for someone at his level - he walks away. He chooses to play minor league baseball, taking a massive pay cut and enduring public ridicule, because it allows him to compete without the crushing weight of external expectations. For 18 months, he plays a sport where he is just another player trying to improve, where failure is acceptable, and where the only pressure is the kind that actually matters - the drive to get better. When he returns to basketball in 1995, he is a different player. Not because his skills have changed, but because he has rediscovered the difference between the pressure that comes from pursuing excellence and the pressure that comes from serving everyone else's agenda. He goes on to win three more championships, but more importantly, he has learned that the most destructive pressure is the kind we accept when we lose sight of what our top priorities actually are. Why Should We Care? Jordan's retirement reveals a truth about leadership most never recognize: the majority of stress we experience isn't imposed by our core responsibilities, but created by everything we've allowed to be piled on top of them. When leaders take on too many peripheral commitments, chase recognition, or allow external expectations to define their success, they manufacture pressure disguised as professional necessity. Basketball was never the issue for Jordan - he was drowning in everything that wasn't basketball. He eventually treated them all as equally important. This self-imposed pressure doesn't just diminish performance - it distorts our relationship with the work we're actually called to do, turning sources of strength into sources of stress. This principle becomes crucial when we examine how manufactured pressure affects leadership decision-making. Leaders operating under self-created expectations often make choices designed to manage their image rather than serve their organization's needs. They say yes to speaking engagements that drain their energy, pursue awards that don't advance their mission, or accept responsibilities that dilute their focus on core leadership functions. Conversely, leaders who have learned this lesson - that walking away from secondary pressures can restore primary effectiveness - can remain focused and strategic even during challenges. They understand that real leadership pressure comes from genuinely important decisions, not from trying to be everything to everyone. The pursuit of personal excellence follows the same pattern. High achievers who struggle with chronic pressure are often fighting battles like Jordan's - committed to maintaining standards in areas that aren't central to their actual calling or competence. They become overwhelmed by networking obligations, paralyzed by social media presence, or exhausted by trying to excel in every dimension of life simultaneously. But individuals who learn to distinguish between the pressure that comes from pursuing mastery and the pressure that comes from managing everyone else's expectations experience a different kind of excellence - one characterized by deep focus, sustainable effort, and the joy that only comes from doing what you're truly meant to do. REAL TALK - Action Steps The path from pressure-driven leadership to priority-driven excellence requires the same courage Jordan showed - the willingness to step away from what everyone expects in order to reconnect with what actually matters. Here’s a few ideas on doing it for yourself:
The most profound leadership transformation happens when you stop trying to manage pressure and start preventing it through clarity about what deserves your best effort. When your commitments flow from your purpose rather than external expectations, when your decisions serve your primary mission rather than secondary recognition, you discover a way of leading that feels both more effective and more sustainable. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Be Before DoIt’s 2008 and the Graham Falcons are taking the floor in the Boys Basketball Regional Semi-finals against the Alter Knights at Wright State’s Nutter Center. For Alter, it’s just another year under legendary coach Joe Petrocelli, winner of numerous state championships and nearly thirty regional appearances. For the Falcons, who are not led by a legendary coach that has been to multiple state tournaments, it is new territory - the program’s first-ever trip to the elite eight.
Prior to the regional tournament, teams have approximately a week to prepare. The challenge, other than the best competition they’ve faced all season, is that the regional semi-finals and finals are only one day apart. Some would view the focus to be clear - win the next game, which is understandable. The Falcons approach it a little differently, though - they’re trying to win the whole thing. Of course the next game is important, but the goal is to win the last one. With this mindset shift, a critical decision quickly becomes apparent: invest all of your time into preparation on all of your potential opponents or double down on yourself. Neither choice disregards the other, but the clarity of the commitment will direct the focus and be apparent to the team leading up to the biggest game of their careers. They double down. The focus would not be on the perennial power they would face in the regional semi-final or the likely finals opponent with the seven-foot future NBA Draft pick. It would be on themselves. Who they would be in the moment took priority over anything they, or their opponents, would do. I’ve been very fortunate to coach several teams that have fully embraced this mindset. Each one has met, or exceeded, their potential. The 2008 Falcons were the first. Why Should We Care? Transformational leaders understand that identity drives behavior more powerfully than strategy ever could. When we focus primarily on what our people need to do - hit revenue targets, manage conflicts, execute plans, or just run the play - they often find themselves reactive, anxious, and passive. They are dependent on circumstances beyond their control. When they shift their focus to who they need to be in each moment - composed, decisive, supportive, courageous - they access a source of power that no external situation can diminish. This principle becomes especially crucial during high-stakes moments. When facing a crisis, giving difficult feedback, or making unpopular decisions, leaders who ask "What should I do?" often get trapped in analysis or make fear-based choices. But leaders who ask "Who do I need to be right now?" tap into their core values and authentic strengths, enabling them to act with clarity and conviction regardless of uncertainty. They understand that their team is watching not just what they do, but how they show up - their energy, their confidence, their integrity under pressure. For individuals pursuing excellence, this shift from doing to being unlocks a freedom that achievement-focused thinking alone cannot provide. Instead of being at the mercy of external validation, market conditions, or other people's responses, you can anchor your sense of success in qualities that remain within your control. This doesn't mean outcomes don't matter - it means your confidence and effectiveness aren't held hostage by them. When you know exactly who you want to be in challenging moments, you can perform at your highest level regardless of stakes, opposition, or uncertainty. Excellence becomes less about perfect execution and more about consistent embodiment of your best self. REAL TALK - Action Steps The transition from doing-focused to being-focused leadership requires intentional practices - especially when pressure mounts. Here are a few you can make a part of your leadership system:
The most influential leaders understand that lasting excellence flows from the inside out, not the outside in. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Tough & TogetherIt’s spittin’ rain - just the way we like it. It’s uncomfortably cold, not make-your-bones-hurt cold but definitely not pleasant. A whistle draws the team together on the far back practice field, where most of the thirty young men are somewhere between anxious and scared to death about what is about to happen. Either way, the rain and cold makes it way better.
Practice is a week away and the only thing standing between the guys and a week of rest is our Final Conditioning - a workout full of bear crawls, crab walks, partner carries, burpees, and lots of running. The workout is sixty minutes. Finish and you receive a pair of work boot shoe laces. Don’t finish and well, you don’t get any shoe laces. But, you also know you didn’t finish. For guys in our program we hope that hurts more than missing out on any prize. Most guys don’t finish. Final Conditioning is the perfect capstone to our preseason. Finishing it or not finishing it isn’t the point - embracing the challenge of it is. We want players who choose to view the challenge as an opportunity, not an obstacle. Guys who are willing to run as hard and as fast as they can without knowing where the finish line is. Fortunately, the guys showing up for Final Conditioning have already demonstrated a portion of this by attending months of 6:00am workouts, open gyms, conditionings, and weight lifting sessions. Those averse to this perspective tapped out a long time ago. The young men remaining almost always possess the other characteristic that we think is critical - togetherness. People want to be a part of a group. So much so that they’ll do incredibly hard things for months with little to no hope of making the team. They may hate how hard it is but they love the camaraderie that comes with being on a team. As is always the case, love beats hate. The beauty of Final Conditioning is that it exposes both. Why Should We Care? Final Conditioning reveals a fundamental truth about high-performance: individual toughness and collective strength are multipliers - not competing forces. The most transformational leaders understand that true toughness isn't about going it alone; it's about having the courage to tackle hard things while creating environments where others want to struggle alongside you. When people know their leader will both demand excellence and support them through the difficulty of achieving it, they don't just comply - they become compelled. This connection becomes crucial when organizations face their own version of Final Conditioning that tests everyone's resolve. Leaders who have cultivated both personal resilience and deep team bonds can navigate these challenges in ways that actually strengthen their organizations. They don't just survive the tough moments; they use them as opportunities to demonstrate that shared struggle creates unbreakable trust. Their teams emerge from difficulties more unified, more capable, and more willing to take on the next challenge because they've experienced firsthand that they won't be abandoned when things get hard. Individual excellence follows the same pattern. Regardless of what anyone tells you, no man is self-made. The highest achievers aren't lone wolves grinding through challenges in isolation. They're people who have learned to be tough enough to embrace difficult growth opportunities while building networks of relationships that amplify their efforts. They understand that being "together" doesn't make you soft; it makes you invincible. When you combine personal resilience with genuine investment in others' success, you create a foundation for excellence that can weather any storm and reach heights that individual effort alone could never achieve. REAL TALK - Action Steps The synergy between tough and together doesn't happen accidentally - it requires intentional practices that build both individual resilience and collective strength simultaneously. Here are a few ideas to do just that for you:
When you combine the willingness to embrace hard things with the commitment to strengthen others, you create environments where people become braver, more resilient, and more capable than they ever thought possible - not despite the challenges they face together, but because of them. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
November 2025
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