 What Others WantThe buttery smell of popcorn draws you in; but the squeaking shoes, shrill call of a whistle, and dull thud of a bouncing ball keeps you there. Friday nights are for high school sports and this chilly December night is no different. It’s early in the season and you’re just hoping to get a look at the local team’s squad for the first time.
The pep band sets off the twenty minute clock as both teams circle the court and report to their end for pre-game warm-ups. You scan both ends, gauging the observable difference in size and athleticism while unknowingly forming your own prediction for how the game will play out. Forming an opinion on such a small sample is dangerous, but fairly accurate in most circumstances. At this point, the opposing team looks bigger and more athletic than your team. That doesn’t concern you though, your team doesn’t typically pass the ‘eye test’. You do have grounds for concern though: the warm-up routine at both ends looks ‘cool’. Smooth, fancy passes followed by missed layups and off-balance jump shots are the norm. You’ve watched your team enough to know that’s now how they traditionally warm-up. Your coach notices it too. Within five minutes of coming onto the court, the team is sent back to the locker room - not their customary routine. The opposing end continues preparation with their half speed, two line layups. Before you know it, your team returns to the floor. This time they look different though. There’s an obvious bounce in their step that was lacking before. The passes are on target and popping in and out of players’ hands. There is an urgency and purpose to your team’s warm-up now. They seem to have left the ‘cool’ in the locker room this time. Why Should We Care? Far too often, success becomes nothing more than presenting a life we think others want. Much like the warm-ups described above, what we think others want rarely leads to true success. Basketball players think what others want is for their performance to appear easy, effortless. That’s ‘cool’ - difficult shots with minimal efforts. Just like ‘cool’ cripples a basketball team, defining success by what others want does the same thing for your pursuit of excellence. In our pursuit to appease the masses we turn our back on ourselves. We exchange our own potential for a round of applause, our excellence for a few likes. It never feels as good as we thought it would. The gap resides in what we perceive as the source of fulfillment. Approval is usually our first guess. Why shouldn’t it be? That’s what we’ve been conditioned to value our whole life. Plus, that external praise always seems to deliver that little jolt of warm comfort that makes us feel good, at least for a moment. It never lasts. We need another hit the next moment. The good news? Eventually, we all - yes, all - realize the futility of this pursuit and are forced (or choose) to adjust. Eventually what others want becomes secondary to our priorities. At some point, we begin pursuing who we were created to be instead of who others want us to be. REAL TALK - Action Steps The real question is: when is that time for you? Have you already made the change? If not, then when? Now is as good of a time as any! Here are a few ideas to help you go for it:
Nobody on the road to excellence cares about ‘cool’. Majority opinion does not equate to fulfillment. For the best, what others want is of virtually no concern. What they need, maybe. What they want, not so much. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 Striving & ThrivingIt’s 5:15am on a weekday morning. From my bedroom I can smell the smokey goodness of the sausage patties and hear the crackling of the eggs hitting the skillet. My alarm clock, also known as mom, has just gently shaken me from my sleep coma to let me know that breakfast is almost ready. I roll out of bed, blindly dressing and stumbling to the bathroom. I eventually land at the table where a plate full of morning goodness greets me. I say thank you but gobble it up incapable of truly appreciating all that went into it.
This was my school day morning from seventh grade through my senior year of high school. I was getting up to workout and become the best basketball player I could be. Mom got up because I got up. It’s only in reflecting on those mornings that I can even begin to appreciate all each of those mornings entailed for her. Waking up - before 5:15am - so she could get breakfast started and wake me up right when I needed to get up, being sure we had all the food for breakfast - that I liked of course, and somehow smiling and acting like she wanted to be up … that early … again. I see now she was giving a masterclass in leadership. I was striving to become a college basketball player. She never questioned the work or where it may or may not take me. Instead, she loved, encouraged, and supported regardless of the circumstances - for me or her. She was being mom. While I was striving, she was thriving. Why Should We Care? Leadership is synonymous with service. If you aren’t serving, then you aren’t leading. Sure, you may be accomplishing great things, making tons of money, or receiving high praise; but you aren’t leading. The top performers in most fields are typically labeled with the ‘leadership’ tag strictly based on their performance or position, yet it is rarely fully accurate. As most climb the ladder, they like to proclaim their leadership moxy as another testament to their superiority. However, the climb itself is usually counter to the service mindset required of a leader. In order to climb, we must take. In order to lead, we must give. This is quite the dichotomy in our pursuit of growth. What to do, what to do? The right answer - yes, there is a right answer - as most usually discover far too late, is to give … and keep giving. The trajectory to the top may not be as steep but it will most certainly end up higher. And, if for some reason it doesn’t, you realize you didn’t need to go there anyway. Back to Brenda Cupps. Her leadership allowed me to strive. She constantly gives and though she’s never been CEO or president of a company, you won’t find anyone more dedicated to serving those she leads. My striving has been nourished by her thriving. REAL TALK - Action Steps The perspective is different in leadership. Most of the time you aren’t sailing the ship. Oh, I know, you think you are, but you’re not. The people you lead are. Your job is to help them sail it as well as they possibly can. In order to do that, you have to get over what you want. Here are a few questions to help you down that path:
Leaders thrive in helping others strive. This is the calling of every leader. Of course, we are all striving to be better, but as a leader we must be sure we are balancing the two. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Advantage UsBasketball season is a long one.
Waking up for the morning workouts becomes harder and harder to get out of bed for. The early season, two and a half hour practices begin to drag on. And, the weight room sessions after practice twice a week is a bitter reminder of just how sore you are. The good news is the practices will eventually shorten. The bad news is that the other two things do not. Oh, and this goes on for all of November, December, January, February, and - if you’re lucky - some of March. Yes, the lucky ones get to keep doing it. While every season has its ups and downs, the Covid season of 2020-21 was marked with an unusual number of interruptions and distractions. Every team experienced disruptions and it became clear very quickly that the team managing the disruptions the best would have a distinct advantage. This insight proved to be true numerous times throughout the year. Our team alone experienced multiple shutdowns in which we weren’t allowed to practice or be together for several days in a row, only to jump right back into our schedule when the shutdown was complete. Our games, like most high schools across the country, were restricted to only parents and essential game personnel, making the gym eerily quiet for a varsity basketball game. We even had a directive from our governing body to not allow players to give each other high fives during play or coming in and out of the game … we weren’t the best at following through on that one. In the end, it wasn’t the disruptions that caused the problems. It was the response to the disruptions that ultimately limited most teams. Our group was proactive in this fight. We decided early on that we would face every distraction with a single, unifying and empowering mindset: ‘Advantage Us’ became our battle cry. Why Should We Care? Just imagine, for a second, a team that truly embodies an ‘Advantage Us’ mindset. No matter the circumstance, adversity, or challenge they remain undeterred. Their focus never waivers. Their belief never falters. Their commitment never comes into question. A team that sees each challenge as an advantage stays on the path. They aren’t distracted by trivial noise and obstacles. They aren’t even distracted by noise and obstacles that matter. Their conviction to the mission is unflappable. ‘Advantage Us’ teams deal in solutions, not problems. They are committed to finding a way, not an excuse. As a matter of fact, ‘Advantage Us’ teams don’t even see problems. The obstacles are simply just viewed as part of the process, not a mountain to be overcome but part of the path to be traversed. For many teams, struggle is a threat. A threat to their stability. A threat to their performance. A threat to each individual’s place in the group. Not so for ‘Advantage Us’ teams. ‘Advantage Us’ teams are strengthened, not weakened, by adversity. It tightens the joints, raises the standards, and secures the need for each individual’s role. ‘Advantage Us’ teams always win - if not in the moment, just give it time. It’s a simple choice, but not an easy one. REAL TALK - Action Steps On the surface, viewing all circumstances as an advantage for yourself and your team seems simple. And, it is simple. It’s a choice. One you can make at this moment. The problem is you have to make it again in the next moment. And, the next. And, the next. And, the next. There’s nothing easy about that. Here are a few ideas to keep in mind in order to choose ‘Advantage Us’ in every moment:
You know it’s the best way to approach challenges. You know it! It’s time to take action. No more excuses. No more blaming. No more complaining. Attack the opportunity: ‘Advantage Us’. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Senior NightsThe black t-shirts with the gold Superman logo are folded neatly in each senior’s locker, their jersey and shorts hanging above them. Tonight our six seniors will be wearing these shirts for our warm-ups in place of their traditional pre-game attire. They’ve spent their careers conforming to the group, conceding their preferences for the standards of the team. Tonight they’ll look different. They’ll do it together, but differently.
Following our final pre-game meeting with the team to review our scouting report I present each senior with letters from their parents. Several weeks prior I asked each parent to write their son a letter reflecting on their basketball journey, which for most is coming to an end - more than a decade of time to become a memory. A few read their letters right away, but most wait. Most get emotional, more than they expect. The smart ones take them home where there is time and space to reflect and appreciate the sentiments from their parents privately. We ask our players to share their memories as well. Each senior writes his parents a letter which we present to them just before senior night. In it we encourage them to not only reflect on the last ten years of basketball they’ve experienced, but also on what sharing it with their parents has meant to them. And, of course, say thank you. The letter is a great reminder that they did not get where they are by themselves. Our final tradition prior to the start of our senior’s last home game also takes place in our locker room, the space many of these guys have spent mountains of time. Our team returns to the locker room midway through our warm-ups to receive matchups and our final game plan reminders. On this night our senior parents join us in the locker room to close out pre-game. Following our normal routine, our seniors stand at their lockers while the underclassmen, coaches, and senior parents make their way around to thank and congratulate each senior. There are usually some tears, but a lot more hugs. Then, our team takes the floor for the last time of the season. And, for our seniors, the final time. Why Should We Care? Finality is an illusion most of the time … well, maybe all the time. But, it is a great reminder and reflection point if we’ll embrace it. While these rights of passage feel like the end; they are really just opportunities to recognize, appreciate, and act on the lessons learned. Sure that phase of life fades away from us and the impending change may generate undesirable emotions, but the growth we’ve experienced throughout that time doesn’t need to be lost. However, in order to be sure we capture and capitalize on this knowledge, we must take the time to stop and identify exactly what we want to carry with us. Without this intention, we will move blindly from one experience to another with no change of behavior. And, if your behavior is never changed by the experiences of our lives, how are we to ever grow and progress? How will we improve and get better? Those are pretty easy questions: we won’t. The speed of life fools us into believing that we don’t have time to slow down and reflect, to stop and remember. It’s also an illusion. In reality, it’s the only way forward. REAL TALK - Action Steps When we reflect, one of the first things we realize is the importance of our relationships. It’s less about what we do on the journey and more about who we’re with. Here are a few ideas for creating reflection points and taking inventory once you’re there:
What seems like an end is usually an opportunity - and it’s always a new beginning. If used correctly, these bridges to the future provide us with some of our best pathways to improvement. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  The Comparison CapMost people think of Henry Ford when they think about the invention of the automobile. However, the true historian will know that Karl Benz is the one who should be credited with inventing the first automobile in 1885. Several others were working on self-propelled vehicles before Ford too, but he often receives the credit.
His invention, however, was far more reaching than just the automobile. Ford's real contribution was making the automobile available to the masses. The common, and accurate, assumption was that automobiles were only for the wealthy. At the time, the average person could do nothing more than fantasize about having a personal car. And, there was nothing in the automotive industry at the time that could change that reality. Well almost nothing. There was one that fought the urge to compare himself to other automakers: Henry Ford. By ignoring the status quo and industry norm, Ford revolutionized the manufacturing process and brought cars to the masses. By replacing expensive handcrafted cars with the moving assembly line he raced beyond one of the most commonly held comparison beliefs of the time. He not only changed the production of the automobile, he transformed the manufacturing industry all together. He didn’t invent the automobile, but he did change the world. All because he refused to compare. Why Should We Care? So, what comparison are you making that’s holding you back? Even the best, most buttoned-up people in the world can find margins to gain. Actually, it’s these people that are the most intune with finding these edges and consistently pressing them. That’s precisely what makes them the best. You have them too. You just need to stop comparing to find them. Have you ever noticed that the greatest musicians or artists are all a little “weird”. I don’t mean that as a negative label at all. It’s actually a label of admiration, respect. They’re odd and they not only accept it, they lean into it. It’s central to who they are. At some point in their life they’ve ignored the comparison with everyone else and chosen to see things, and themselves, differently. Excellence calls for the same mindset and intentional choice to ignore comparison. The comparison we are drawn to does nothing but limit us by coloring ourselves with the same brush as everyone else. It pushes us to accept the norm and be part of the status quo. Some call it normal. A better description is mediocre. REAL TALK - Action Steps Removing external limiting factors in our lives is usually very straightforward - not easy, but at least straightforward. By changing friends, environments, and daily routines we can usually eliminate the majority of those factors. However, the internal limiting factors are not as direct - mainly because we don’t want to believe them, or even know we have them. Here are a few ideas to shine light on our tendency to compare:
We build the walls and ceilings in our own lives with the comparisons we consistently make and accept. It not only limits our joy, but it limits our potential as well. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  It's One or The OtherIt’s fall 2012 and our off-season basketball program is just getting underway. I’ve been a high school basketball coach for twelve years, but this one feels a little different. It’s my first opportunity to see the players at my new school, Centerville. I’m excited but nervous, hopeful yet skeptical. And, unfortunately, the first player citing doesn’t exactly calm the nerves.
As I walk into our cold, dark auxiliary gym the first player I see is a dusty blonde haired, chubby kid with a beat up cast on his right arm. He looks terrible - slow, not tall, AND with a giant cast on his arm … not exactly the makings of the player I am hoping for. Clearly this wasn’t the first time he had been shooting with his cast on though. He lines it up with his left hand, lets it fly, runs after his rebound, and repeats the process. Over and over, shot after shot. A few went in, most did not. But he kept shooting, that’s a good thing - I think! When it came time to pick teams, of course he hopped in line. After informing him he wasn’t allowed to play with a cast on his arm, he disappeared into the crowd of other players. He didn’t hide for long though. About ten minutes into the open gym I catch him on the court, playing on one of the teams at the opposite end of the gym from where I’m standing. I make my way to his court and let him know (again) that he’s not allowed to play with a cast on. He tries to explain to me that a player needed a sub so he just jumped in for them. Forget the fact that there were approximately twenty casteless-players standing on the sidelines waiting to play. About thirty minutes later I have to go pull him out of a game for a third time. Clearly, it would be easy to become frustrated by his lack of willingness to listen to my directions. But, I’m not going to lie, his persistence brought a smile to my face. And, the cast drove the point home. Why Should We Care? As you might guess, that young man turned out to not only be a great player, but one of my favorite players I’ve ever coached. He was incredibly coachable, relentless in his effort, and always prioritized the team. But, it was definitely his willingness to find a way instead of an excuse that drew me to him. As a leader, you play favorites. And, one of the first things you appreciate in someone you are leading is the ability to see a possibility rather than an excuse. You’ve never worked with someone good at both - because they don’t exist. It’s impossible to search for excuses while focusing on possibilities. No one wallows in scarcity while appreciating abundance. One of the most difficult challenges for a leader is helping the people you lead see the possibility over the excuse, especially when things get hard. Call it hope if you want, but it’s critical as a leader that you provide, or at least suggest, it for your team. A mindset of possibility is certainly not something you can assume your team automatically has. Contrary to the approach commonly taken today, ignoring reality and painting everything with a hunky-dory brush is not an effective approach - even if everyone is doing it. The best people at focusing on possibility in difficult situations are perfectly in tune with reality while never considering an excuse. They maintain hope in spite of the conditions, not because of them. REAL TALK - Action Steps So, what do they do? The people that are able to ignore excuses, what do they do differently than other people … than the majority of people? How do they maintain this perspective? Here are a few thoughts to move in that direction:
You can’t have both. It’s one or the other: an excuse or a way. The more we train ourselves to see opportunity, the more opportunity we find. And, of course, the opposite is also true. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  The YeaButsMany, many moons ago in a land not too far away, there lived a family that seemed to have all the luxuries anyone could ask for. Their house was the biggest in the neighborhood, their cars the coolest, and their yard the most pristine. The success of the YeaButs was clear based solely on their property and physical possessions, but it didn’t stop there.
The only thing that could outdo the obvious material prosperity of the YeaButs was their ability to flourish socially and professionally. Mrs. YeaBut was a successful small business owner, finding just the right niche for her neighborhood. It had taken years to get there, but Mr. YeaBut had finally worked his way up to the CEO position he had set his eyes on when he first joined the company. The YeaBut kids were equally impressive. The oldest, a son, was a star athlete in high school who had several scholarship offers to continue his athletic career but chose to accept an academic invitation to an Ivy League school to study medicine. Their youngest, a daughter, had become one of the best dancers in the country by the age of twelve and moved to New York City to pursue it as a career by sixteen. What a family. The YeaButs had it all. Or, so it seemed. Come to find out, Mr. and Mrs. YeaBut had been struggling in their marriage for over a decade. Several major differences surfaced throughout the years: his long hours working had led to almost a complete absence from family time; her huge initial investment necessary to get her business off the ground had created financial stress they had covered up for decades; his disappointment in his son’s passion for medicine rather than sports; her support of her daughter moving away to NYC at only sixteen against the well-wishes from him … the list continued, but these were the big ones. Nonetheless, the YeaButs put on their smile, shined their car, and paid their landscaper. After all, they have an image to uphold, right? Why Should We Care? It’s that desired image too often becomes the defining decision-maker in our lives. Most people have never considered the image they hold for themselves. Who do you see yourself as? Without that contemplation we become attuned to what others say and before long, we’re making decisions and taking actions in search of the image others hold for us. It’s literally an endless barrage of chatter that is only silenced with a clear understanding and acceptance of our own self-image. The YeaButs family appeared perfect, but they weren’t. Like most other people they chose to pose rather than live fully. They chose to pretend rather than be. The house and the car didn’t ultimately matter to the YeaButs compared to a failing marriage and a separated family. But, hey, they had the best yard on the block … sweet, congrats. Yea, we have a sweet house, but we don’t have a family to live in it. Yea, I want to be present with my family, but I need to work overtime so I can get my promotion. Yea, I want to lose twenty pounds, but it’s the holidays. Yea, I want to be a hard worker, but I don’t feel good today. Yea, I want to start my own business, but what if it doesn’t work out? Yea, I want to give more than I take, but what if I don’t get anything back? Yea, I want the team to win, but I need to average twenty points per game so everyone knows that I’m a good player. Yea, I want to be a good teammate, but sometimes other guys aren’t. Yea, I want to be a great player, but I don’t have time to work outside of practice. Yea, but … Yea, but … Yea, but … Like a lot of other things in life, the yea-buts don’t stop until you choose to stop them. REAL TALK - Action Steps These are easy circumstances and situations to recognize and acknowledge, but completely different to personally change. Here are a few thoughts on moving beyond yea-buts:
YeaButs are only good at one thing - compromising. Stop the negotiation and justification. Tap into that reservoir of strength you get when you make, and keep, commitments to yourself. Yes, and … Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Some Things Never ChangeTwenty million dollars is the estimated NIL (Name, Image, and Likeness) compensation for Ohio State’s football team of players and coaches this season. It’s a lot. And, to be fair, they were not alone in that spending bracket. Arkansas Men’s Basketball program has NIL estimations upwards of five million dollars to fund this winter’s team, also among the top in college hoops allotments.
While both are among the highest budgets in their respective sports, the results (at least to date) are quite different. Of course, the assumption (and hope) is that more money means more talent and more talent means more wins. More wins and, well, that means: even more money to get even more talent leading to even more wins. Finally, the shortcut to success - we’ve found the system! The national championship football game this year was between Ohio State and Notre Dame, two of the most well endowed programs in the country. Yet, with all that talent, both teams dropped games during the year to mediocre 8-5 teams. But, what about the talent you may ask? Good question. Arkansas’ Men’s basketball team is 12-7 and 1-5 in their conference. They’ve looked like anything but the national championship contender they were paid to be. They still have time left in their season to turn things around. I wouldn’t bet my house on it; but, as they say, time will tell. While all the talk in college sports is about NIL money, and it certainly matters, there is an extent to how much it matters. As games are played and seasons reveal the truth, it’s becoming increasingly clear that something else is also at play. The highest budget doesn’t automatically equal the best team. And that … will never change. Why Should We Care? Society grows and evolves. Thankfully, life in 2025 is not the same as life in 1925 or even 2000. Nor would anyone expect, or want, it to be. We are meant to advance ourselves and the world around us. However, there are some societal truths that demand acknowledgement and will not bend. There are dynamics that will always supersede technology, money, or talent. Yes, crazy to imagine isn’t it - something being more valuable than money or more prized than talent? The audacity to even suggest it is disturbing. It’s hard to see, but it’s also undeniable. Those grossly well compensated college football players at Ohio State and Notre Dame still have to block and tackle. If they don’t they lose - ask Michigan or Northern Illinois. No amount of money can hide the need to block and tackle. It’s football. It’s what you have to do to win - regardless of your NIL budget. Despite their check, those wealthy twenty-somethings are not above that reality. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re fairly well compensated too. And, although you’re probably not playing football, there are some things you have to do (like block and tackle) in order to win in life. Your salary only matters to an extent. Same with your talent. You still have to block and tackle if you want to win. For example, deep meaningful relationships are one of the ways we ‘win’ in life. They provide fulfillment, joy, and meaning that are impossible to experience without them. Money without relationships is lonely. Talent without relationships is empty. We ‘win’ through wholesome relationships regardless of the money or talent we possess. Trust, work ethic, resiliency, integrity, discipline, accountability, purpose … always have, and always will be, critical to life - not to mention leadership and team performance. REAL TALK - Action Steps Some things never change, nor should they. They work - like blocking and tackling. Here are a few thoughts to help you consider other aspects of life that should never change.
Be grateful for those things that never change. They are the things in life we should cling to. And, no amount of money, or talent, can change that. Thankfully, sport and life will honor that in the long run. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  I Am ...It’s August of 2001. The first day of school, the first of my teaching career. I’ve spent my entire college life studying education and couldn’t possibly feel less prepared. Standing in front of thirty, blood-thirsty teenagers isn’t something any class, or four years of classes, prepares you for.
As all uncertain teachers do, I open class with a few ice breakers: Who are you? What do you do outside of school? What does home look like? Nothing too fancy. I don’t want to scare them away on the first day of school. The majority of the students jump through the hoops as I predicted: Jenna likes to run track and lives with her mom, dad, and two brothers; Chris works at McDonald’s and lives with his grandparents; Stephanie babysits and lives with her mom and little sister. Then there’s Dustin. His answers are different - more revealing, more personal. Every other student began their response with “I am their name”. Dustin begins with “I am a Christian. My name is Dustin”. Interesting. Why Should We Care? Our name is our name, but the words we choose to use to describe ourselves following the statement “I am” should be viewed as a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s a clean look into how we see ourselves. Whether we realize it or not, we live in accordance with this belief. Spoken or unspoken, our “I am” is who we are, every day in our choices and actions. It’s these actions that clue others into what follows “I am” for us. “I am” is an invitation. It offers direction and clarity. It declares priority. When we know what follows “I am” we have a clear picture of what is most important to us. And, in that vein, what is not. We can’t be everything, but the things we are going to choose to be, we should strive to be fully. How we complete “I am” is a great tool for living a life of intentionality. Most of us will try to complete the sentence multiple times, in various directions. Of course, we have numerous roles to play in life, various values that are important. That’s ok, but only one can be first. Only one can be the priority - one role, one value. So, what is your most important lot in life? What is your non-negotiable value? You are … REAL TALK - Action Steps The start of the year is a great time to consider what your “I am” is. Lock it in and build some inspiration and intentionality into the year ahead. Here are a few ideas to get started:
It may sound extreme but the word you choose to follow “I am” will choose your life. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Running To or Running FromI’m not a huge fan of speaking in front of groups of people. I’m overly nervous or worried about conveying my message, but if given the option I would choose to not partake most of the time. I do realize how illogical this is for a teacher whose profession is literally dependent on one’s ability to do this very thing.
That said, what I do enjoy in this setting is a good round of questions and answers. I appreciate the challenge of immediately processing and synthesizing the question, then crafting the perfect answer pulling from my life experiences. While I certainly hope the audience benefits from the experience, I’m almost always better for having done it. There is one exception. One group in which question and answer sessions have been banned for eternity: Little Dribblers Basketball campers. Little Dribblers Basketball Camp is three days long, an hour per day, for kindergarten through second grade students (no, I was not smart enough to make it that short initially). While most of the camp feels like we’re herding cats, we spend the majority of camp working on ballhandling and footwork - with some dancing and lots of laughing mixed in. The first year we held camp I made a critical error: I asked for questions. I got way more than questions. I got stories about their mom’s boss, reasons their big brother had freckles, and why two of their toes on the same foot were the exact same length (clearly a miracle). I was also blessed with the most outlandish dreams of every six, seven, and eight year old at camp. Astronaut, president, lawyer, BMX bike racer, doctor … we had them all. Of course, I chuckled and gave a half-hearted smile as acknowledgment of their wild dreams. Silly kids. Only in retrospect did I realize it was my desperation that wouldn’t allow me to recognize their inspiration. They were silly, but their dreams were more real than almost any adults I’ve engaged with since. Why Should We Care? We all have goals, just like the Little Dribbler campers. They just haven’t been tamed enough to fear saying them out loud. You know it’s true. Little kids are almost always running to their goals and dreams. Adults, on the other hand, are usually pursuing goals as a means of running from something else. There’s a big difference between running to something and running away from something. Think about these questions: What emotions are you experiencing if you are running to someone? What emotions are you experiencing if you are running away from someone? When we are running to something we are fueled by love, so passion naturally accompanies it. We are inspired. When we are running from something we are fueled by fear, so judgement and a want for safety naturally accompany it. We are desperate. Of course, we never set out to run from our dreams, we just pursue goals that we hope will distract others from seeing the true us. The salesman crushing quarter goals to get the bonus so he can get the new car in hopes of upping his social status is not the same as the salesman crushing quarter goals to get the bonus so he can pay off his mortgage and set his family up for long-term financial success. The first is running from other people’s opinions of him. The second is running to his family. REAL TALK - Action Steps With that in mind, here are a few things to consider when setting inspirational goals that you will run to:
The people who are inspired, gritty, persistent, resilient, and passionate simply have a goal they are running to. It’s not magic, but it is intentional. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
March 2025
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