 The Talent or The TeamWe’re in the midst of putting together a hodgepodge basketball team to compete in the few tournaments being held across the country. It’s 2020 and the majority of the major cities that usually host youth basketball tournaments are shut down. However, there is one place that is still consistently hosting tournaments: Rock Hill, South Carolina.
After a miserable experience with a team, I use that term loosely, constructed based solely on talent and potential; we decide to try the other side of the coin. We prioritize a willingness to put the team first, a desire to pass the ball, and a willingness to serve teammates. Of course we wanted talented players, but unselfishness would take priority every time. Many of these players were always viewed as ‘good’ players, but never as the best. In comparison with the bigger, stronger, faster players they compete against, our guys are typically viewed as a notch, or five, below. Nonetheless, we believe in our guys. We have our team together, so all we need is a name. It came to us around the dinner table as we finished off the remains from the previous night’s meal. Our team name would be “The Leftovers”. Intimidating, huh? It’s perfect. That’s exactly who we are. We’re not a collection of the most talented guys. We’re the ones left after the first picking … and we’re good with that. We immediately call our co-conspirators, the Sheppards, to float the team name. They love it. Uniforms are next. We could get a sponsor and some fancy jerseys with a cool design and each player's names on the back. Or, we could get plain blue mesh jerseys with nothing on them but a stock number screen printed on the back. Which one says Leftovers to you? Right. Plain blue it is. Why Should We Care? The results of our experiment surprised even us a little. We won, a lot. Usually by a lot. And, we never lost. Like all summer teams, especially during the Covid-era, our roster fluctuated from weekend to weekend. Of course, we had our regulars, but the rest of the roster consisted of players that would go on to play college hoops at various levels and a few that would stop playing all together before graduating high school. Regardless of the roster, The Leftovers always won. The priority of the team over talent was undefeated. Obviously we have to be in the talent-ballpark. But, when we are, the team gains a drastic advantage - not the talent. Every. Time. Leaders like to say the team is important, but they don’t believe it. They like to complain about the functioning of the unit, but refuse to lean into members that embody the fabric of the team. As Gandhi so accurately stated, “Actions express priorities.” You never have to ask a leader which they value, just watch: Is the leader attempting to put the best group together to solve a problem or simply throwing the most talent available at it? Is there an appreciation for all roles or an elevated value placed on the roles directly connected to the tangible results? Who gets opportunities - the guy serving himself or the guy serving the team? Does the talent of some individuals allow them more … I’ll call it grace? The biggest challenge we face in the battle between talent and team is our affection for results. There is no question that prioritizing talent can lead to great results at times. And, there is no doubt committing to a focus on the team is a risk that runs the chance of never coming to fruition. Some teams never come together. Most talent earns what the talent says it should. It’s the safer bet. There is one significant downside to prioritizing talent over the team as a leader though: you never reach your full potential. No matter what success you attain, a mutual drive, purpose, and passion of the group to the goal would raise it. Talent is certainly important, and present, on great teams. But, for teams prioritizing the group, the talent doesn’t need to be equal. It just needs to be close … and not nearly as close as most people think. REAL TALK - Action Steps Of course I’m a believer in the team over the talent. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m not very talented. But, I’ve also seen the team do things no amount of talent would produce; create passions and emotions that bond a group that no collection of talent could replicate. Here’s a few ideas on setting that into motion for you team:
It’s your team. Lead it however you want. But, if you aspire for your group to reach its full potential, there is really only one option in regards to priorities: the team is number one. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 Showing GratitudeIt’s not enough to be grateful. We need to express it.
Here are fifty ideas for expressing your gratitude.
Happy Thanksgiving! Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Suffocating ExcusesIt’s still a clear memory. One we had spent the last several months fighting for. It finally happened. In the heat of the game, while emotions ran high, he chose to ignore it. Sure, there were several justifiable reasons to accept it, but he chose not to. It was an excuse.
Instead of turning out, he turned in. He opened his arms instead of closing them, seeking help rather than fanning strength. He accepted reality and gained respect because he chose to ignore an excuse. When facing adversity he used to seek the sympathy of a victim. Now he was owning the challenges just as much as the successes. Rather than hiding, he was confronting. Growth, from that point, was inevitable. The team had become the priority. Now, he had a chance. Now, we had a chance. All by simply suffocating a plausible excuse. Why Should We Care? As long as we are making excuses, we aren’t doing much else. Our resilience is at the mercy of our willingness to accept an excuse. Grow our ability to deny excuses and we move closer and closer to resilience. And, it’s our capacity to persist that will ultimately chart the future of our life. Excuses give us an out. Have you ever noticed that tough people and excuses don’t mix? They’re never together. You’ve never heard someone make an excuse, walk away and think, “Man, what a warrior. She’s so tough.” An excuse is nothing more than a want for sympathy. We say something like, “I didn’t know”, or do something like, turn our palms up in desperation, as a means to share with those around us that we are not at fault. It’s one of our ego’s defense mechanisms to protect itself. But, our ego doesn’t need protecting. It needs exposure, at least if leading and growing are some of our pursuits. Until we become aware of our excuse making habit and intentionally choose to redirect it, we are at the mercy of our emotions. We are a slave to the weakest version of ourselves. Nothing compromises our potential and impact more than our willingness to accept excuses. It’s an odd habit too because it ultimately benefits no one. The excuse-giver feels the momentary warmth of sympathy, only to have it replaced by the cold reality of diminishing personal standards and a depleted self-worth. The excuse-hearer is taxed with the burden of accepting or rejecting the excuse, and the choice of whether to feed into self-pity or provide a jolt of truth. REAL TALK - Action Steps I’m convinced most people don’t want to make excuses. It’s become such a mode of operation that we are oblivious to its occurrence. Awareness is the first step. Here are a few thoughts on becoming more aware of the excuses we make:
Ignoring, suffocating, and eradicating excuses will change your life. Give it a go. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  The Consistency of StandardsIs there anything more difficult, in living or leading, than remaining consistent when times get tough? The only thing I can think of that rivals it is remaining consistent when times are fruitful.
It’s the early 2000’s, my coaching career is just getting started, and I’m thinking I’m pretty good at this coaching thing. My first few years we had moderate success which I, of course, attributed to my brilliance on the sidelines. It felt pretty good being so smart. Year four is turning out to be a different story. To my surprise, I’m not quite as smart as I thought. Our five wins through twenty-one games was clear proof in case I needed it. I didn’t - I could feel it. Nothing I did worked to create the immediate result I was chasing. Yelling didn’t work. Patience didn’t work. The new plays didn’t work. The junk defense didn’t work. I was miserable so I did the one thing most of us coaches are experts at: I made our players miserable too. At least for the first half of the year. About half way through the season I realized something I had been blind to: I’m comparing our team to teams of older, more talented players … with a better coach. The next opponent set the standard for us at that point. And, unfortunately, that standard was one we were not prepared to meet. That external comparison will never fully go away, but nothing says we have to prioritize it - especially if it’s not helping us become our best. This revelation led me to adjusting to an internal evaluation of our team’s performance. Instead of focusing on lag measures like the final score, we would prioritize lead measures like ball security, shot selection, rebounding and touches among teammates. These are things that will give us the best opportunity to win games now and in the future. Not to mention, they’re within our control. Winning the game was clearly not. While the disappointment of losing games never dissipated, the satisfaction of growth and forward movement could be felt. We established a new set of high standards. The objective of winning games never went away, and we continued to fail at it, but we began to see and feel progress through our standards. I was unaware of it at the time, but this was a significant transition for our program. We had gone from a program aiming for a moving target, our next opponent, to a program fixed on a stable mark: our own standards. Consistency quickly followed. Why Should We Care? A few years later, we found the other side of the standard coin. Competing was no longer a problem, we were consistently winning games by large margins. Rather than allowing our performance to fluctuate with the talent of our opponents, we maintained our focus on performing to our standards. While standards are mentioned by many of the highest performing teams, it seems the real magic in them often goes unstated. Standards are so powerful because they are the golden pathway to consistency. See, contrary to what most think, it’s not the standards that make you great, it’s the consistency they offer. Consistency is what the best have and what the good and average fail to fully value. It’s easy to become distracted by the external comparison and allure of momentary brilliance. We are flooded with opportunities to allow them to take the wheel of our focus. Elite leaders recognize the distinction between standards and comparison-based successes like winning games and corporate rankings: standards are controllable. To the best leaders it’s not a subtle difference. It’s a glaring one. And, we can only be consistent with the things we can control. With our focus on our standards, where we are squarely in our circle of control, we tap into the consistency all great teams operate with. REAL TALK - Action Steps So, the obvious questions: how do we create standards and how do we operate by them? Good questions. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Our standards are actions that are fully within our control. This control fuels one of the most critical attributes of every great team: consistency. And, with most teams, it’s a daily fight. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Where You BelongIt’s early November, which can only mean one thing: high school basketball season is here. Even after twenty-five years, the start of the season still feels like opening your most anticipated birthday present. The anticipation never gets old.
As great as the excitement around the start of season is, it also carries with it my least favorite part of coaching - making team cuts. Nothing in the profession comes close to it. Some are certainly easier than others, but delivering the news to a fifteen or sixteen year old that desperately wants to be a part of your team is never enjoyable. More often than not it’s downright awful, yet necessary. Of course, back in the day, these tough conversations were avoided by simply posting a list of the players who made the team. Everyone else was left wondering if their name had just been forgotten. It’s a cowardly approach that disregards a young man’s efforts and courage. I suppose the effort required may depend on the standards of the program, but the courage to tryout is a direct reflection of the makeup of that young man. That courage needs to be honored. Society does the best it can to beat it out of us - stay between the lines, play it safe, don’t rock the boat. Regardless of whether a player makes the team or not, as a coach I have a responsibility to recognize the risk taken to attempt to make a team of twelve in a school of three thousand. If maintained and fostered, that is a trait of a successful person regardless of the result of a high school basketball tryout. The other aspect of the risk these young men are willing to take that beckons my attention is always a simple question: why? Why do these guys keep trying out? Why do they keep coming back? Our entire fall preseason conditioning program is grueling, our weight room sessions three days per week are exhausting, and our breakfast club workouts every morning will make the most dedicated weary. While the struggle and challenge drives some away, it draws others in. Our desire to belong to something runs much deeper than we know. Why Should We Care? Understanding and appreciating the significance of belonging is a powerful leap for a leader. It will change the way you organize meetings, interact with colleagues in the hallways, make promotions, celebrate wins, welcome people onto the team, and communicate off-boarding news. But, more than anything it will allow you to fully value the people you are leading. You can find plenty of books out there talking about evolutionary history for the need to belong to a group or tribe. I’m not disagreeing with any of them - they all make sense. I mean, I wouldn’t want to get eaten by a sabertooth tiger either so being a part of a group where I’m not the slowest one seems like a pretty good life choice. In today’s world you almost have to try to not belong to a group. Your family, your place of employment, your Thursday night softball league team, your stamp collecting chapter, your dog walking club, your motorcycle gang … the list could go on forever. Even going out of your way to be different will likely align you with a brotherhood of misfits that satisfies your unknown desires for belonging while rebelling against it. Now the calling is more about discovering where you want to belong. And, from a leadership perspective, creating an environment and a set of standards that is appealing to those you want to belong to your team. All aspects of your culture are at play - your words matter, your actions matter, your vision matters, your values matter. Culture has become such a buzz word that we’ve lost sight of the functionality of it. This is one of the primary roles of our culture in our organizations. Our culture should be drawing in the people we want to belong to our team and expelling those we don’t want. REAL TALK - Action Steps Of course, people wanting to be a part of our team is a good thing. Some motives will naturally be impure or self-promoting. In the best organizations those driven by their desires for prestige or money will be washed out by the standards that drive the teams success. Ideally we can avoid those self-seeking individuals and get right to the people that want to be with us for pure reasons. Here are a few ideas to consider when trying to create a culture that will do just that:
We all want to belong to something. Leading with this understanding will allow us to create a culture that gathers ‘our’ people together. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Relief PitchersIt’s the spring of 1995. We are in our final run as high school athletes, attempting to survive the Ohio High School Athletic Association baseball tournament. Coming off a less than impressive 12 - 11 regular season, the prospects of a deep tournament run aren’t exactly the popular bet.
We know we haven’t been a great team to this point, but we’re also just dumb enough to think … well, maybe… We win our first couple tournament games fairly comfortably - as comfortably as a five hundred ball club can win a game. Then, in the sectional final our catcher, and cleanup hitter, Trevin Bair leaps into the spotlight by hitting a grand slam to give us a win over an all state pitcher. We live to see another day. Our unimpressive record is easily the worst at this point in the tournament. But, with each win our confidence and excitement grow. Soon we forget we have been mediocre all year long. We are starting to believe we’re going to win. Our belief is translating into our play on the field. We advance to the round of thirty-two, then sixteen, then eight, then four … and before we know it we are one of two teams remaining in the state. In order to advance in any tournament, things have to go your way. You have to put yourself in the position, but at some point luck needs to be on your side. And, while we had several things fall into place, nothing was more significant than a timely rainout which allowed our pitching rotation to be maintained. In baseball, that’s a pretty big deal. We had two pitchers: Brent Parke and David Dowty. Rather than be forced to pitch our third and fourth pitcher, the rainout allowed Brent and David the rest they needed to continue in the critical roles they had settled into. Their brilliance was the driving force behind our success. Brent was the starter. He was a great athlete with a lively arm and pinpoint control. He threw hard and liked to work off his fastball most games. Brent was taxed with getting us off to a good start and would pitch the first five to six innings of every one of our tournament games. David was the closer. He relied on his big, bending curve ball to finish out the games. David’s calm and confidence suited him perfectly for this role. The contrast between the two proved to be a challenge for even the best teams to handle. The beauty in the whole thing was their acceptance of each of these roles. David didn’t want to be Brent and Brent didn’t want to be David. Why Should We Care? The storybook leadership fable sounds something like this: you, the leader, take a bunch of helpless underachievers and turn them into a team of high functioning winners. They start at zero and, because of your leadership, end up at ten. The truth is no one really starts at zero and most never make it to ten. As it turns out, this is one of the most difficult aspects of leadership for many to accept. In the pitching rotation of leadership, you may not get to be the closer. Actually, there is a good chance you aren’t the closer. It’s much more likely that you’re simply a relief pitcher - someone who bridges the gap between the starting pitcher and the closing pitcher. There is a lot to do - goals to achieve and milestones to surpass. While those are important and can never be neglected, the focus must never change: move your people forward. That’s rarely going to be the finish line. That’s ok. Just keep moving them forward. REAL TALK - Action Steps The challenge we face as leaders is internal, not external. That’s what makes it so difficult, we can’t see it. We have to do our best, then trust. But, trust what? Like everything else, the best things take time. Our life is no different. Whether it’s our faith, our relationships, or our talents, time is required for growth and depth. Here are few thoughts on becoming the best relief pitcher you can be:
Relief pitchers epitomize leadership. The glory is limited, but the value is extreme. We should be leaning into this role rather than looking to escape it. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Confidence In What?It’s March of 2021 and the University of Dayton Arena is as full as it’s allowed to be, given the lingering Covid restrictions. The entire boys basketball season has come down to one final game, the Division I State Championship game. It’s the first basketball state finals for our team, our school, and our community.
Following our regional final win, I knew I would need to address this group’s surprising opportunity to win our school’s first basketball state championship the next weekend. I also knew the message I wanted to convey, but it took a few days for just the right delivery to become clear. The make-up of our team was somewhat unique. It consisted of a handful of incredible seniors with exceptionally high character and humility, several talented juniors who were the first group to progress all the way through our youth program to varsity basketball, and a few sophomores who had been fearless to this point in the season. We had a lot of things going for us, but experience and knowledge of playing on the stage in front of us was not one of them. Nonetheless, here we are. I think, in large part, because we didn’t know we shouldn’t be. But all that was okay. We didn’t need any of it. We had something that could rival experience and knowledge. We had confidence. My job was to remind them of what it was in. Pre-game is now well underway. Our guys are returning to the locker room from the court, just as scheduled, with ten minutes remaining in our warm-up - like the previous twenty-eight games. The energy and emotions are running high as you would suspect. On the board at the front of the room I have their matchups and key points for the game listed. But, I’m taking this talk in another direction. Rather than refresh our familiarity with the game plan, I reach into the ball bag sitting under the white board and pull out an ax. The guy's faces immediately light up. The ax hangs in our locker room and represents several key beliefs in our program. Things we are confident in. I toss it into the middle of the room. The guys yell and leap into a huddle. “Chop wood on three. 1 - 2 - 3. CHOP WOOD!” Why Should We Care? Confidence is a tricky commodity. Some seem to have unlimited supplies, while others struggle to muster enough to get by. And, of course, we have plenty of fakers out there - usually the people talking the biggest game are actually the least confident. My friend, and host of The Learning Leader podcast, Ryan Hawk likes say confidence requires evidence. We create evidence by doing. Practices in the dark and games under the lights both can provide that evidence. Each success adds to the ladder and each failure generates a new opportunity for a more meaningful win. This concept of evidence as it pertains to confidence makes perfect sense when applied to the four levels of confidence. Level one is no confidence. Simple: no evidence, no confidence. Level two is confidence based solely on results. Think about it: isn’t confidence one of the things you need in order to achieve the result you’re pursuing? How would anything worthwhile ever be achieved? If you find yourself constantly lacking confidence, there’s a good chance you have begun tying your confidence to your results. The randomness of the confidence matches the randomness of the evidence. Level three is confidence based on approval of others. In level three you will find your confidence fluctuating … much like the approval of the people around you. Worse than that, you’ll begin compromising who you are in order to gain favor and evidence. You’ll be confident, but will you be you? Level four is confidence based on a process. Notice the previous levels rest outside your control. So, the creation of evidence lies outside your control. If your confidence resides in your process, it becomes unlimited and you become unstoppable because you have full control of your process. Evidence is mass produced. REAL TALK - Action Steps The ax is a symbol of our process. Everyone of our guys knows it. Bringing out the ax was my way of reminding them of our process. We keep swinging. We don’t know if it’s coming down with that swing or not. We just know we keep swinging. THAT, we are confident in. Here are a few thoughts to consider when trying to clarify your process:
Confidence is not something we attain once and check it off the list. We must be making deposits, creating evidence, consistently in order to maximize and maintain our confidence. Rooting your confidence in a process is the best way to do that. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Systems: Growing GritIt’s December 2016. Another Sunday evening with Gabe in the chilly confines of Centerville High School’s beautiful back gym. This session caps off a week full of daily workouts, middle school basketball practices, and a few games. Tonight’s workout is viewed no differently than all the rest - simply a part of the process of getting better - no single practice or game is any more, or less important, than the last. This one, it turns out, will be the exception to that rule.
The workout begins like most, focusing on the fundamentals of ballhandling and footwork. This has always been my, his, focus. Moving into the shooting portion of the workout, I introduce Gabe to a new drill. I know it’s going to be a challenge for a twelve year old, but it’s a drill designed as much for the mental aspects of competition as the technical side of basketball. I debated doing it, but I think he’s ready. The task: make five shots in a row from five different spots. Each spot must consist of two made catch and shoot three point shots, a one dribble pullup jump shot going to the right, a one dribble pullup jump shot going to the left, and another catch and shoot three. Five consecutive makes are required to advance to the next spot. Any miss forces a restart at that spot. The drill is a challenge for any player. The necessity for a high level of skill is significant, but it’s the need for a resilient, gritty mentality that quickly becomes the key component for success. I have no idea how long it will take Gabe to complete the drill. Depending on the day, a good high school player could take anywhere from ten to twenty minutes. Or, never is always a possibility. Gabe finishes the challenge … seventy-five minutes after he started. Over an hour of restarting the same drill will make you question a lot. What seemed like an utter failure in the moment, turned out to be one of the most beneficial workouts in Gabe’s young career as an athlete. Not for the skill he developed, but for the grit he grew. Why Should We Care? Angela Duckworth defines grit as “passion and perseverance for long-term goals”. I think we are born with an enormous amount of grit. I mean, when is the last time you’ve seen a toddler decide walking isn’t for him? No matter how many times he falls down, his passion and perseverance towards the long-term goal of walking never waivers. Toddlers are as gritty as it gets. Unfortunately, the comforts and immediacy of modern society eventually undermines our ability to show the perseverance of a child. Grit requires overcoming two very important Goliath’s in the pursuit of excellence: failure and time. The drill mentioned above provided Gabe with plenty of opportunities to fail, which he did - over and over and over. I don’t even remember the number of times he made four shots in a row only to have his hopes of completing a spot wiped away when the fifth shot was off target. With each failure was an opportunity to show and grow grit. The same decision presented itself each time: quit or try again. He chose to try again dozens and dozens of times. And, with each decision, he reinforced the self-image of a person that is resilient and gritty. The time aspect of growing grit is always relative. Seventy-five minutes is not long when viewed over the course of a year, month, or even a day; but, when considered for a single drill, it feels like an eternity to a player. Gabe made the decision to dismiss quitting as an option for over an hour. It was continuously in front of him along with an unsureness that he could actually complete the task. These are the best breeding grounds for grit: struggle, strain, failure, delayed time, the option to quit, and an unknown outcome. Continuing pushing forward in that environment and your grit is sure to grow. REAL TALK - Action Steps Gritty people do gritty things. People that aren’t gritty don’t - they quit or remove themselves from the situation all together. Here are a few thoughts on creating systems in your life to intentionally grow your grit.
The cool part about grit is that when we show it, we grow it. With each gritty choice, we get that much grittier. However, we must continue choosing to be gritty because the opposite rings true as well. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Systems: Living In GratitudeMy office at home is fairly new - well, not new, but recently repurposed. I’m in the process of emptying out the final few tubs from the garage, trying to find just the right spot for everything.
As I’m digging through the final bin I come across a folder of old thank you and congratulation letters. My work comes to a screeching halt as I sit quietly on the floor and read each individual message. The majority of the letters are from the year of our state championship team, 2021. Community members that I’ve never met, alumni that never miss a game, and friends I had no idea were even aware of our success writing to congratulate me on our team’s accomplishment. I find notes from current players that were in middle school at the time of our state championship, congratulatory messages from colleagues and opposing coaches who we compete against regularly, and even a few letters from my most loyal fans, my kids, Ally and Gabe. As I read through the letters, the memories and emotions attached to each individual relationship resurfaces. I can feel each one of them. I cry. I smile. I laugh. But, more than anything I remember - not any of the games, but the people that have been on the journey with me. There’s so many more than I realize. My heart is filled with gratitude. Thankful for all the people that have given of themselves to allow me to be where I’m at, doing what I’m doing. What’s better than that? The beauty of a written note is that it can provide this reminder to the reader time after time. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed or what has transpired in our lives. We can go back to those moments and emotions in just a few words. If you’re not writing thank you notes, stop robbing the people you care about of this gift. Why Should We Care? Gratitude changes your life. Gratitude is a lens that smears out every aspect of victimhood while focusing attention on appreciation and acceptance. As your focus on gratitude grows, you begin seeing opportunity rather than adversity, valuing the process rather than the result, and embracing the present rather than concerning yourself too much with the past or future. Gratitude regulates your life. People who intentionally operate with a mindset of gratitude quickly find the world to be collaborating for them. It’s not that the world actually is scheming for your success, but your attitude alters your perspective to the point that you see possibilities rather than obstacles, what could be rather than what can’t be, hope rather than despair. Most will agree that living with gratitude is a great way to navigate life, but pass it off as wishful or naive. It’s not. Unfortunately, few people know how to consistently do it and fewer leaders know how to make it a fabric of their team. If left to chance we all defer to allowing our circumstances to determine our attitude and outlook on life. What we need is an operating system. Without an intentional plan, we will always drift away from gratitude. It’s not exactly the norm in society today. REAL TALK - Action Steps Living with gratitude is no different than exercising or dieting. Our ability to stick with it is only as good as the system we have in place to assure its consistency. Here are few ideas to consider as you put a system in place for gratitude in your life:
It’s easy to think we’re on this journey alone. The idea of being self-made is a fairytale too many people believe. It’s never true. Nor should we want it to be. Sharing it with others is the best part of the journey. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Systems: Role AcceptanceIt’s December of 2020. Like every other high school basketball team in Ohio, our preseason is coming to an end. Our players are generally happy to see the conditioning, two and a half hour practices, and internal competition give way to scouting reports, shorter pregame practices, and competition against anyone other than themselves. The coaches are right there with them.
Our coaching staff, however, has more important things to worry about. We have to make this group of individuals into a team. If we’re going to win, it’s going to have to be based on the strength of our group rather than the talent of our individuals. We’re not talented enough for that. To be sure they understand fully, I lead with that fact in our first team meeting. Hope is useless without a clear understanding of reality. The locker room is our safe space. We’ll face many challenges together throughout the year but one of the first, and most important is happening right now. We have to figure out exactly how this human puzzle fits together. We need each guy to prioritize what the team needs from them, over what they want from the team . We need everyone to embrace their role. I remind them that roles are based on what the team needs, not on what they want. And, when you choose to be a part of a team, you are choosing to prioritize the needs of the team over your own desires. That is the tradeoff of a team. You can do things you could never do as an individual, but your priority must shift from yourself to your team. Not willing to do that? Don’t join a team, at least not our team. We’re about halfway through our roster with a Strength & Weakness exercise when we arrive at a pivotal discussion with one of our talented sophomores. Player after player unanimously share this individual’s strength to be his defensive intensity and focus. Although his weakness wasn’t quite as clearcut, the take away was still apparent: focus on defense and shoot lay-ups. To be sure he, and his teammates understood the feedback, I asked the question every kid playing basketball in the Steph Curry-era wants to know: Can he shoot threes? The response I was looking for did not come quickly enough. Immediately I know, more discussions are needed before he embraces his role. Why Should We Care? Our player may have heard the feedback from his teammates, but he clearly was not excited about accepting it just yet. Until he accepts it, the role is unfilled. As much as I would like to just tell each team member their role and move on, it would actually rob the individual of their full contribution. The act of choosing acceptance, is their demonstration of choosing the team over themselves. A week later, I follow-up. I ask the player if we can agree that focusing on defense would be the best way for him to contribute the most to the team? He agrees. Next, I ask if we can agree that the team has several guys that are better perimeter shooters than he is? He agrees, but tries to leave room for exceptions, asking if he could shoot threes if he’s wide open? I ask if he thinks that is best for the team? He thinks for a minute and decides against it. At this point, I wouldn’t say he’s excited about the role just yet, but he’s consciously thinking about it. That’s ok. When he does decide, it will be an intentional choice. His contribution will be maximized and our team's ceiling will be closer to being met. As it turns out, he accepts the role, starts every game, guards the opponent's best player, shoots zero three pointers … and wins a state championship. He chose the team over himself. REAL TALK - Action Steps Accepting and embracing a role is the job of the team member. Presenting it and providing that opportunity to accept it is the role of the leader. Too often we assume the intricate parts of team dynamics will just happen, or not happen. It’s far too important to leave to chance. Role acceptance is a huge part of that. Here is a system to help you own your team’s ability to embrace their roles:
It’s one thing to say we value each role on the team. It’s another thing to create a system that allows those roles to be embraced and reinforced. To maximize your team, help team members maximize their contributions by finding, clarifying, and reinforcing each individual’s role. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
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