 Systems: Mastering Your Strong VoiceIt’s a normal Tuesday morning and the worst possible thing happens at 4:23am: I’m awake and my alarm is going off in seven minutes. What a bummer. Seven minutes - too much time to forgo the warmth of my bed, but not enough time to make it all the way back to sleep. Quite the quandary. Unfortunately, it’s one I’m all too familiar with. My internal alarm clock is frustratingly uncanny.
I choose comfort for another seven minutes, visit my morning prayers, then begin running through the day ahead. I make it to the afternoon when my thoughts are rudely interrupted: BRRRING, BRRRING, BRR - I catch it on the third annoying warning call. Everyday begins with the same, an intentional choice: How will I enter the day? My internal voice has me considering all options: I could just hit snooze, sneak in another hour of sleep and skip my workout. Literally no one will know. I’ll still be the first one to the school even if it’s an hour later. I could workout this afternoon. I probably need the extra sleep since I went to bed later than usual last night. Plus, I’ve worked out everyday for the past month. It’ll be fine. And … this bed is warm and comfy. I catch myself. Another voice, that used to struggle at the plate but is on a hot streak recently, kicks in: “Come on now, that ain’t you. Let’s go Cupps.” I throw the covers off, hop out of bed, and dive headfirst into my day. My workout is lower body today. And, lower body means one thing: front squats. I hate front squats. Today’s reps are supposed to be three sets of ten. That little devil on my shoulder starts the self-negotiation with a reasonable proposition: why don’t you just do a different exercise today or just do three sets of 8 and go a little heavier? A few less reps can be justified with heavier weight, right? And, immediately the rebuttal: “You’re really going to do less? Choose the easier exercise? Why don’t you just do the heavier weight for three sets of ten? Come on now. Fight ready Cupps.” Three sets of ten at the heavier weight it is. And, it sucks. Get up without hesitation - check. Workout - check. Next up - ice bath. It’s four minutes, five days a week. It’s cold but supposedly it’s good for you. I’m not convinced of the health benefits but I’m starting to believe in the mental benefits. That damn voice is right back at it: “You don’t need to do this. What’s the point - you training for Mr. Olympian? Just go take a shower. This is going to be cold … real cold.” Then, like every other day, I find it - the other voice: “Don’t be a bitch. Get in the water.” So I get in. It’s the same routine every morning. It’s gone from an exercise routine to enhance my physical health to a strong voice reinforcement system that impacts all aspects of my life. Why Should We Care? Our lives, and our teams, are driven by the systems we choose to enact. Sure, we require motivation and discipline to execute them, but it’s the systems we implement that generates the results. We typically choose a system in hopes of a specific outcome, ideally one that is especially suited for that need. However, no system is restricted to a single result. And, sometimes, those auxiliary results become more impactful than the intended result. The system I described above is a perfect example. It was designed to optimize health. It requires that I prioritize my time in the evenings in order to get the proper amount of sleep before my 4:30am alarm. Exercising in the morning is the only time I’m sure I can fit a workout into my schedule. Ice baths have numerous positive effects on your health in both the short and long term. Yet, none of these health benefits have proven to be the most impactful result of my morning system. That honor would go to the ability to call on my strong voice. It turns out that the ability to never hit the snooze button and honor the commitment I made to myself to get up at 4:30am is a really big deal. Every time I honor my commitment, I reinforce that behavior and increase the chances I’ll do it the next time. I build my confidence in my ability to do what I tell myself I’m going to do. Every time I don’t honor my commitment, I create doubt and lessen the liklihood that I’ll do it the next time. If I negotiate my way out of a certain weight or number of reps through my weak voice, I’m one step closer to making that my default voice and succumbing to the same type of negotiations in a higher stakes proposition. A system that allows my weak voice to surface, while providing my strong voice an opportunity to suffocate it is the real value of the system. Sure it has health benefits, but the true significance lies in the strong voice reps. It doesn’t come without risk, afterall I could choose my weak voice at any moment, but this is precisely the power of the system. I could fail. I could accept my weak voice. But, by consistently acting in alignment with my strong voice I create a relentless mentality that is ready to attack any challenge. REAL TALK - Action Steps Our strong voice is what we say to ourselves when things are going well. We’re confident, optimistic, and generally attacking the situation. Our weak voice is what we say to ourselves when we are struggling. We’re shutting down, negative, and spiraling out of control into catastrophic scenarios and excuses. While it sounds simple enough to say we just need to choose our strong voice, it’s not quite that simple. I mean, it is that simple, but not that easy. Here are a few ideas for creating opportunities to use your strong voice and a few thoughts on choosing it over your weak voice.
Your life is made of a series of systems. Be sure the system you are following is reinforcing your strong voice. It’s a superpower! Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 Culture: The FilterCenterville High School in Southwest Ohio is a football school. To say it’s anything else is, at best, naive. Most high schools across the country have never had a professional athlete grace its hallways. Centerville provided the foundation for eight future NFL players: George Sirochman, Dave Preston, Andy Harmon, Will Johnson, AJ Hawk, Michael Bennett, Mike Nugent, and Ifeadi Odenigbo. Throw in College Gameday’s Kirk Herbstreit and countless college football players and it’s pretty clear, when it comes to sports at Centerville, it’s football then everything else.
There’s nothing wrong with that. The community cares deeply about football, but that passion naturally spills over into other sports and extracurriculars. When I arrived at Centerville in 2012, I received advice from several big-school basketball coaches that I would have to compete with other sports in order to keep the best athletes playing basketball. At a school the size of Centerville, most athletes do not play a different sport every season. Many young athletes will play multiple sports but most will eventually begin focusing on a single sport. There are numerous reasons for this decision - sometimes it’s to commit more time to the sport of choice in hopes of earning a college scholarship, sometimes they’ve grown to love one sport more than another, and sometimes it’s to focus more time on their academic aspirations. Regardless, I’ve never felt we needed to actively compete against other sports for athletes. We’ve had plenty of players stop playing basketball to focus on another sport. Likewise, we’ve had several players choose to focus on basketball at the expense of other interests. I don’t see it as a competition for athletes though. I do my best to develop valuable relationships with young people and share what our program has to offer them as both a player and person, but ultimately the choice is theirs. That’s not competition. It’s establishing an environment that others find appealing and beneficial. If we create these conditions, then the right people will choose to stay. I t’s more about culture than competition. Why Should We Care? Our culture sets the parameters for our team. It tells everyone what is, and isn’t, honored; what is, and isn’t, punished; what is, and isn’t, accepted. When we establish and consistently uphold our culture, people are able to choose whether it offers something they want or not. When they know, they have the opportunity to stay or go, and the internal motivation to stay is significantly enhanced. A strong culture acts as a current that pulls the people who align with our beliefs in our direction. They want to be a part of it because they believe what we believe. These are precisely the people we want on our team. Unfortunately, we often end up dropping anchors under the guise of enhancers - we like to call it talent, at the expense of the very culture we’ve established. That same strong culture can serve as a clear warning sign for those whose beliefs do not align. They see the culture and can decide it’s not for them. Anyone willingly leaving your team is making this statement: “To me, what you are offering is not worth what you are asking.” Sometimes that hurts and forces you to examine your environment. And, sometimes it weeds out exactly the type of person that would be poison to your team. Afterall, who is not on your team is often more important than who is. Strong cultures are one of the best ways to keep the wrong people away. Our culture is our ultimate filter. It allows the people we want in, while keeping the people we don’t want out. Just as importantly, it serves as the ultimate crucible for making decisions. Every decision should be run through the question: Will this enhance or detract from our culture? If the answer is ‘yes’, then it’s worth considering. If the answer is ‘no’, then it’s not worth considering - move on. It doesn’t get much more simple than that. If your culture is the priority, then you will save a lot of time and concern if you make your culture the initial filter rather than the final one. REAL TALK - Action Steps Using your culture as a filter isn’t easy. In order to do so, your culture must have an unquestionable clarity. Without clarity, no one knows what they are opting into or out of. Similarly, no clarity means no true standards to base decisions on so we are left going with our gut or making the decision based on unhealthy metrics. Here are two questions to consider for ANY decision you have to make as a leader:
Your culture is your ultimate filter. Don’t know what to do? Just ask your culture. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Culture: The ConnectorIt’s January 2016. I’m in my usual place at this time on game days - hunched over my computer, glued to the only light my cold, dark house has to offer at the time. After some small talk, I send the assistant coaches home, no need to make them suffer again. My family, all keen to the vibe of losing by this point, went to bed hours ago, leaving me some much needed late-night alone time.
Just a few hours ago we were at Northmont High School playing our twelfth game of the year, almost the exact midpoint of our season. Coming off a school record twenty-three wins a year ago, everyone expected winning to just become the new norm for Centerville Basketball. Unfortunately, no one had taken the time to tell the most important people in that equation: our opponents. We are no longer sneaking up on teams. Now we take their best shots - shots we clearly aren’t prepared to handle at this point. Our team has already lost as many games this season as we did all of last year. And, something tells me we’re not even close to being finished … losing that is. They say winning leaves clues … well, so does losing. I’m well into the fourth quarter of the game film of yet another lackluster performance. There aren’t enough sunflower seeds, my late night drug of choice, to make this feel any better. My hand is sore from the three pages of notes pointing out every technical mistake I can find. My eyes are glazing over as I skip forward in five second bursts combing through each possession for answers. Then I see it. The game is almost over and we are headed back onto the floor coming out of a timeout, one that is irrelevant to the outcome of the game - you know, the ones at the end of the game when every fan in the gym throws their hands up and wonders outloud, “What are you doing!” - it was one of those. All of our players stand up, squeeze in tight, reach their hands to the middle of the huddle, and shout “Chop Wood” … except for two of them. That’s it. The losing clue. How could I have missed it during the game? The film is clear. At the time of the break, they are sitting down, barely leaning forward, and making no effort to be a part of the team. Worse yet, they were actually IN the game. I’m furious with myself. I’m not only allowing this behavior, I’m honoring it. I immediately tear the ‘basketball’ notes out of my notebook and throw them all in the trash. It’s clear to me that none of that matters. Until we get our guys connected enough to care about each other it doesn’t matter what plays we’re running, and we are clearly not connected. Creating connections between teammates points to one thing for us: culture. Why Should We Care? Your culture is your daily behavior. If you allow it, you promote it. So it’s my responsibility to stop allowing it. I share the findings with the team during our film review the following day, remove both players from the starting lineup, limit their playing time, and lose two of the next three games. Not exactly the result I’m looking for … yet. But, that’s the beauty of culture. It only rewards the faithful. Regardless of outcomes, our culture must be honored. This is the bond of our group. It’s the common thread that runs throughout every single person on our team. When a player, or coach, chooses to be a part of Centerville Basketball they are agreeing to adopt the expected behaviors of the program. These unified behaviors not only connect our current team members to each other, but they also connect our current team to our alumni. Only a former player is fully aware of the sacrifices made to be a part of our team. Our players' unwillingness to stand up, put their hands in the huddle, and join their teammates in our break is a direct violation of our expected behaviors. It’s also a behavior that, if I don’t point out, no one will know about. But, I’ll know it. And, the only thing worse than not knowing is knowing and doing nothing about it. It’s my choice to honor our culture or not. I choose to honor it because I trust it - its eventual impact on the player and its lifetime impact on the person. REAL TALK - Action Steps This group struggled to fully connect right up to the end of the regular season, losing three in a row heading into the tournament. But, we continued to prioritize and honor our culture, regardless of the result. A gritty first-round win against rival Fairmont galvanized the group and cemented a connection that would allow our 12-10 regular season team to knock off three consecutive twenty win teams on the way to an Elite Eight finish - surprising to most, but not to the guys in our who had been faithful pulling the weeds. Here are a few thoughts to keep in mind when trying to maximize the connection of your culture:
Culture has the potential to take a group of individuals and make them a team. Sure, they may share the same space and wear the same uniform, but until they commit to a set of common behaviors - they’re not a team. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Culture: The MultiplierIt’s late-February 2015. I’m leaning back on the fake leather couch in our coaches office trying to get my head around the ridiculous amount of talent we are about to face. It’s overwhelming, yet I’m hoping that one final look at my notes for the game will calm my nerves. Or, convince me that I’m not a complete idiot for thinking we have a chance. I take a deep breath, punch my right fist into my left hand, give myself a clenched teeth “Let’s Go!” and walk into our raucous gym, head down.
We’re minutes away from playing against one of the most talented high school rosters I’ve ever seen. The crowd in the Centerville gym is standing room only. What an atmosphere - the fresh smell of popcorn, the comfort of our home gym … on senior night. And man, do these seniors deserve it. Eight of our twelve varsity players are seniors. Just two years ago they were faced with the decision of whether or not to trust some random, new coach from lil’ ol’ St. Paris Graham with crazy expectations and an affection for burpees. They deserve this night. We’re good, 18-3 and on the way to setting a school record for wins in a season. Two of those three losses were tight games. The other one … well, we got blown out, twenty-pieced the kids might say. Unfortunately, we are facing the same opponent tonight - the Wayne Warriors, one of our biggest rivals. But, more significant at the moment is the fact that they’re really, really, good. Like, really good. All five of their starters are division one basketball recruits. Only one percent of high school players go on to play D1. This team has five of them - process that for a second. If that’s not bad enough, their sixth man is going to Ohio State on a football scholarship. Such a weak link … We don’t have any division one players. We don’t have any division two players either. The first time we played, at their place, this was clear. Their talent out-classed us. But, in the two months since our last meeting, our group had accepted this reality. We now know who we are. We have a new belief. Talent isn’t our advantage - we believe WE are our advantage. The game is everything you could imagine - ups and downs, lead changes, big plays by both teams. Incredible. Our guys are relentless throughout the game - never flinching, never wavering. Wayne would knock us out of the tournament on their way to a state championship a few weeks later, but on this night we find a way. It takes overtime and every ounce our team has, but we find a way. Back on the couch in the coaches office after the game I become convinced of a truth that I had long suspected but never fully embraced: culture doesn’t add, it multiplies. WE is a much greater advantage than most people will ever acknowledge. And, your culture is the lifeblood of WE. Why Should We Care? Thinking of your culture as a multiplier is powerful. One of the aspects of team building that most people struggle to accept: one bad apple is one bad apple too many. Let’s look at it from a simple math perspective. Say a bad apple is a zero. What is anything multiplied by zero? Tough one, I know - those flashcards came back to you quickly …That’s right, it’s zero. Now, let’s say the bad apple isn’t just zero, but negative. Any positive number multiplied by any negative number will always be negative. Just by allowing a negative, you make the whole thing negative. You know this to be true. You spend the most time on the zeros and negatives. Stop. Accumulating and relying solely on talent is equivalent to addition. Regardless of how great the talent level is, multiplying positives will almost always result in a higher result than simply adding. Create an environment focused on culture, put positive people into that culture, and reap the reward of the great multiplier. Culture is that multiplier - not more talent or more plays. The more you pour into your culture, the bigger your multiplier. REAL TALK - Action Steps It’s easy to forget about the multiplying effect of culture. We all get caught up with day to day fires to put out, benchmarks to meet, and consumers to appease. In the process, we push the most important part of our team to an afterthought. Here’s a few ideas to keep our culture the priority:
Contrary to what we are told, talent is not the most important aspect of team performance. That’s the beauty of a team, the invisible multiplier of culture will always be the great equalizer. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Know Your ChickensIt’s April 2023 and we’re in Lissone, Italy. I’m coaching Team Ohio in the Jit Lissone tournament. Our team has yet to meet each other, let alone practice together. At this point, basketball is an afterthought. We’re just trying to get from the airport to the hotel.
The ride in the local taxi was like being in a real-life version of Mario Kart with another hundred cars on the road with us, a reckless driver as our guide, and everyone honking, waiving their fists, and shouting profanities. I was literally on the edge of my seat. Now at our hotel we connected with our host that would take care of the travel to and from the gym. He was a local also, but seemed much more … relaxed than our previous driver. Alberto is our guy and would become a highlight of the entire trip. He greets us with a handshake, a hug, and a hearty “Bonjourno!”. He was the Italy I expected, or at least hoped for. Alberto is clearly a seasoned vet. He is engaging with all eight of us in the van at the same time. Cracking jokes, carrying on conversations on his phone, navigating traffic, checking on our plans for the evening … and he’s doing it all without slowing down. It really is amazing. Then, Alberto takes the most memorable call of the trip. As he goes back and forth with a friend and is wrapping up the conversation, he chuckles and carelessly says (with his cool Italian accent quipped), “Ah, yes, I know my chicken!” I immediately think, chicken?! Too memorable to ignore, I ask what the phrase means. Alberto hesitates, searching for just the right English words to match, then replies: “Ah, you know, eh, very close; my chicken, very close. They your chicken, you their chicken; very close. You do anything for them. I know my chicken.” Why Should We Care? It was at this moment I began to wonder, who are my chickens? I’m lucky and have a family that is “very close”. They are my chickens. But, beyond that, identifying my chickens wasn’t so easy. I have a few, but it’s not a lot. And, I suppose that’s how it’s supposed to be. I mean, who wants too many chickens, right? To be your chicken, you must’ve seen the other person at their low point and chose to stay with them. You must’ve gone through some really difficult things together and grown closer as a result of it. You can never question their intentions. When good things happen, you are happier for them than you are for yourself. No distance is too far to drive and no time is too late or early. Time literally flies when you’re with one of your chickens. Even time apart evaporates as soon as you reconnect with your chicken - you immediately pick up right where you left off. Chickens are not best friends. The relationship doesn’t have the ups and downs of even the closest friendships. Think of them like the special forces for your foxhole. They energize you, lighten your mood, and guide you to see the best of yourself and others. I’m confident you have a chicken or two. Don’t take them for granted - take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with them. You’ll never regret it. REAL TALK - Action Steps If you’re struggling to figure out who your chickens are, I think I can help. If you’re in a relationship, I hope your significant other is one of your chickens. If not, well, that sucks - probably need to fix that. Here are a few ideas on singling out a few chickens.
Where we spend our time is a choice. We all have lives to live. But, when you have an opportunity to spend time with your chicken, don’t let it pass you by. You never get the opportunity back. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  The Limits of ControlWhen I began coaching over twenty-five years ago, control was my mission. I wanted to control our players, control the game, and control the opinions everyone had of me. Make no mistake, it was about me. Afterall, what does the need for control say if not, I know best?
It’s not that I hadn’t been exposed to a different way. My high school coach was not a controlling leader at all. He was incredible at empowering his players by asking questions, listening to the answers, then adjusting according to what he heard. I knew that’s who I wanted to be as a coach, but young-me was unwilling. Early in my career I roamed the sidelines, screaming instructions to the players on every pass and barking at officials on every call. I was willing to white-knuckle success if I had to. And, for a while, I did to some extent. We won a reasonable number of games - enough for other people to think I was a decent coach, which was all that mattered to me at the time. But, it didn’t last. It couldn’t. By the time my seventh season rolled around I was exhausted. I still loved basketball and I loved coaching, but I knew I couldn’t continue going about it the same way. Something had to change - either me or my job. I decided I was the one that needed to adjust. Why Should We Care? Along that same time, I started paying much closer attention to how some other coaches coached - not what offense or defense they ran, which had been my focus previously, but how they acted on the sidelines, how they responded after a mistake, and how they interacted with their players and officials. There was one coach in our area that I followed particularly closely: PJ Bertemes. He was a very successful high school coach by this time. His team’s always impressed me with their discipline and toughness. The other thing that stood out about PJ was his sideline demeanor. He sat, watched the game, and offered his insights when they were needed. There was no effort to control every play by his players or dictate the next call by the officials. But man, could he coach. His teams consistently maxed out their talent and overachieved. Clearly, the work had been done, the trust established, and the game plan mastered. As for the game, the outcome was surrendered. PJ had influence, he didn’t need control. As leaders, it’s influence we should be seeking, not control. Influence empowers those we lead. It has the potential to elevate them beyond their potential, far surpassing the contribution mere control would offer. Influence is scary though. Others must choose to allow themselves to be influenced. And, it’s not a one-time commitment. They get to choose every day. REAL TALK - Action Steps Growing our influence requires intentional actions. We are not influential merely because of our age or our title - I’m sure you can name plenty of examples to illustrate this point from your own life. Here are a few ways to magnify your influence on those you lead.
Control is cleaner, more simple, and feeds the ego. It’s also cold, transactional, and limiting. Influence is messy, complicated, and ego-free. It’s also warm, transformational, and … the only path to excellence. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Volunteers v HostagesIn March of 2019, Pittsburgh Steelers’ coach, Mike Tomlin, was asked about the loss of star players Antonio Brown and Le’Veon Bell. Brown’s departure was a result of a trade, one in which many felt the Steelers didn’t receive nearly enough for given the Pro Bowl receiver’s stats. While Bell opted out of the Steel City for more money through free agency. Neither were amicable.
When asked about it, Tomlin got straight to the point. “We can’t do this with hostages, man. We need volunteers,” Tomlin said. “We need good players, good guys who want to be here and if guys can’t check those boxes, it’s probably best for all parties involved to go our separate ways.” Volunteers, not hostages. What a clear expression of the required mindset for teams to excel. Why Should We Care? Let’s consider the reasons most people volunteer: to support a cause they believe in, to help others, for personal fulfillment, to improve a skill, or maybe to give back. To state the obvious, when we volunteer we want to be where we are; we’re choosing that specific option over many others. That autonomy in volunteering is far more powerful than we want to admit. We can’t force people to volunteer. We control hostages. We can make them do whatever we want them to do. Hostages wanting, or not wanting, to be there, or to do what is asked of them, is irrelevant - they’re hostages. They do what we tell them to do. Hostages are there for our gain, not their enjoyment. It’s clear that volunteers give more than hostages. Not only do they give more, but it is given with more care, passion, intent, and love than a hostage will ever give. It turns out just wanting to be where you are is pretty important. As part of this volunteer, not hostage focus leaders need to understand we are not simply talking about physical location or presence on a team. While that is unequivocally true, the most common shackles of the hostage are applied to role identification. What part do I play on the team? Am I happy with it? Do I feel it’s important? It’s not enough that we want to be on the team. We must also want to be doing what we are doing for the team. REAL TALK - Action Steps Of course, our teams will always have people on them that are at varying ends of the volunteer - hostage spectrum. The best teams are always heavily bent towards the volunteer end. Here are a few ideas for filling your team with volunteers rather than hostages.
Tomlin said, “We can’t do this with hostages, man. We need volunteers.” The ‘this’ he is referring to is excellence. Accepting hostages is compromising excellence. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Community & InconvenienceI love watching the Olympics.
Of course, I enjoy the mainstream sports like basketball and soccer, but they aren’t what make the Olympics so appealing. It’s all the other ones. The novelty of sports like badminton, ping-pong, and water polo are captivating. The dynamic between individuals and teams in sports like gymnastics and swimming is fascinating. The purity of track and field, mesmerizing. The physicality and athleticism of rugby, amazing. The Olympic games offer everything great about sport. Two areas that have stood out for me: the power of community and the inconvenience of obstacles. Clearly the Olympics pull the country together, unifying our support for a single athlete or team. But, they also turn a light on the support systems that have helped to elevate these athletes to an Olympic level. Clearly, they have not gotten here on their own and all parties are fully invested. If there’s anything more prevalent than the success of the athletes competing, it’s the quantity of their failures. From injury to foster homes, seemingly every athlete has overcome numerous challenges to be where they are. At some point in their journey, each stopped seeing obstacles and started seeing inconveniences. That’s a significant difference. Two very different aspects of the Olympics, but both critical in their arrival to this stage. Why Should We Care? Everyone wants to belong to something. Those aspiring for excellence, like the athletes at the Olympics, realize it’s not a want, but a need. Our community is our strength. Sometimes communities lift us up and sometimes they calm us down. Sometimes they highlight our strengths and sometimes they expose our areas of weakness. But, one thing is clear about a community - they are for us. They cheer, and cry, like each moment was theirs … because it is in a real community. The community makes the athlete just as much as the athlete makes the community. The teams we lead are exactly the same. Each individual we lead wants to belong to something - something special, where they’re doing work that is important, and they’re making a difference. Everyone wants to contribute to their community. I love a good comeback story as much as the next guy, but it seems like the media dramatizes everyone’s background into a rags to riches story now. What I’ve come to realize is that we’ve all had challenges and the degree of the challenge is secondary to our perspective on it. To an Olympic athlete, every adversity, regardless of its magnitude, has become nothing more than an inconvenience. Helping those we lead establish a resilience that thinks inconvenience rather than road block is paramount to our team’s success. REAL TALK - Action Steps Sure, there are hundreds of factors that play into the performance of an individual and team. The impact of each can be debated. What’s not debatable is the value of community and a grit, resilient mindset. Here are a few ideas to grow each:
We need others. We can’t quit. Sometimes we need others so we don’t quit. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Patiently UrgentEvery season, the second week of practice, we do an exercise with our team that we call Two Strengths, One Weakness. It’s a lead into solidifying and clarifying roles, one of the most important aspects of any successful team.
Each player is tasked with sharing two strengths and one weakness for every member of the team, including the coaches. A significant level of trust is needed in order for this exercise to have maximum impact (I’ve found sixteen year old basketball players to be significantly better at this than their older counterparts). We take one team member at a time and share everyone’s strengths for that player followed by everyone’s weakness. As others are sharing, the teammate we are focused on takes notes then shares what he heard others say followed by his own strengths and weaknesses from his perspective. There’s a lot going on there that is foundational to our team. As a coach who has gone through the exercise each year for more than a decade, I’ve noticed a commonality for the feedback I receive. In my best years - best here does not necessarily equate to wins, rather maximizing our group - my strengths have always pointed to pushing and challenging the edges of what is accepted. My weakness, from the player’s perspective, is usually reported as impatience. I do recognize how fine that line is. At my best, I think I’m both urgent and patient. Why Should We Care? Excellence requires this balance. Patience leads to happiness and satisfaction, appreciation and acceptance. It combats the need for immediate results and leads to the fulfillment we long for in life that far surpasses the fleeting feeling of materialistic, comparison-based success. We are often fooled into believing that contentment is derived from achievement and accolades, when it is actually the result of patience in the process. It’s this consistent, deliberate work that enlightens us to the edges of our potential and where urgency comes into play. While urgency has a negative connotation, it calls for action. And, action is required for progress. We don’t float up stream. And, if we don’t paddle, all we’re doing is floating. Urgency encourages me to embrace change much quicker than the pleasure of contentment. Leaders need to keep this reality on the front of their minds and intentionally welcome adversity while operating with a bias for action. It's an opportunity for those who choose to view our struggles in that light. Confidence is a factor too, but confidence in what? Confidence in our ability to keep going, to be ok regardless of the outcome, to adjust our process as needed based on the results. A balance of patience and urgency bolsters confidence rather than eroding it. Now, if our confidence is tied directly to the applause of a comparison-based society, then I suppose we will neither be patient or urgent enough. REAL TALK - Action Steps Finding the balance between maintaining confidence while never being satisfied is the line we need to walk as leaders - challenge & support, champion & expose. Here are a few ideas on doing both:
It’s a fine line - celebrating current success while pushing forward in pursuit of growth, appreciating contentment with the result while constantly working to improve the process. But, it is the line leaders of excellence are willing to walk. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Content v ComplacentJimmy loves his job. He looks forward to virtually everything about his daily duties because no situation is ever exactly the same. There are a few aspects of his current role that he doesn’t enjoy, but he realizes they are necessary for him to perform at the level he aspires to. Jimmy doesn’t watch the clock. Overtime doesn’t exist. He works until the job is done - and done to the standard he expects of himself. Jimmy looks forward to seeing his team every day. Learning from them, helping them grow, and having people who fill in for his weaknesses allow Jimmy to perform at a higher level than he ever could on his own. He and his team are always looking for a new edge, or angle, to stretch themselves. He loves what he does and who he does it with.
Jimmy is content. Johnny loves his job too. He looks forward to his daily duties and enjoys almost all aspects of his role, mainly because he’s comfortable with them. The ones he doesn’t enjoy he does anyway, usually without complaint. Johnny checks the clock every now and then, but he’s not ruled by it. He works until the workday is done, performing at the standard expected of him. Overtime does exist and Johnny does it when he has to. Johnny likes his team but most of the relationships have run their course and are nothing more than coexisting work partnerships. Johnny and his team believe ‘if it ain’t broke, then don’t fix it’ so they stick religiously to the way they’ve always done things. He enjoys what he does and who he does it with. Johnny is complacent. Why Should We Care? As you read through those paragraphs, there are subtle differences in Jimmy and Johnny’s approach to their work. Let’s take a little closer look at the differences. Jimmy and Johnny both love their jobs, but for two different reasons. Jimmy because he is consistently being stretched and Johnny because he is comfortable. For Jimmy it’s not really work, it’s what he does. For Johnny, it’s most definitely work - he’s good at it, but it’s still work. Jimmy works to the standard he expects of himself. Johnny works to the standard others expect of him. Jimmy sees the differences and unique contributions of his team. Johnny sees the similarities and limitations of his team. Jimmy is constantly stretching. Johnny is constantly shrinking. Contentment is misunderstood. It’s happiness and satisfaction. It’s appreciation. Contentment recognizes the benefit of the work, the value in the struggle and embraces them as a vital part of the road towards excellence. Contentment doesn’t push us to tire of these things, but further validates them as foundational in our success. Complacency does none of this. It takes the work and struggle for granted, looking to minimize them while still maintaining an acceptable level of performance. It wants to avoid struggle yet maintain success. Complacency diminishes the process while still desiring the same outcome. REAL TALK - Action Steps Ah, to avoid complacency and find contentment - that would be the goal, wouldn’t it? Here are a few ideas to guide you on that walk. Growing Contentment
Reducing Complacency
Contentment is a critical part of excellence while complacency has no place in it. Complacency is a thief of the soul, and contentment Robin Hood. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
December 2024
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