bcg blog

Humble Confidence

Being humble is easy, just zoom out. Think about how tiny you are in the scope of the world. We like to think we’re a pretty big deal, but in reality we simply aren’t. None of us are. As Morgan Housel noted, “Your personal experiences make up maybe 0.0000001% of what’s happened in the world, but maybe 80% of how you think the world works.” Insignificance is humbling.

Being confident is also easy, just zoom in. The more we think about ourselves, the more sure we become in our own greatness and importance. Preparation is the precursor to real confidence, but the amount of preparation is always relative. And, we’re usually pretty generous with the assessment of our own work. Preparation produces confidence.

Unfortunately, in isolation, humility isn’t enough and neither is confidence. Humility alone serves others but fails to embrace the risk necessary to perform at your best. Others are included but the mediocrity doesn’t keep them around long. 

Confidence alone emblazons the individual but ultimately fails to include anyone else in the journey. You can excel but will realize quickly that doing it alone leaves a void that no level of personal performance can fill. We can achieve at a high level but ultimately it’s not worth it if we’re alone.

To be our best, we should be blending humility and confidence.

Why Should We Care?
Humility draws others to us and allows us to fulfill our need to impact others. 
Confidence allows us to perform at our highest level.

While both can be grown, each requires very intentional actions to develop. 
Here are a few actionable ideas on progressing in each area:

Humility:

• Write thank you notes
  
• Volunteer at a local food shelter
  
• Lean into your faith
  

Humility naturally flows from my spiritual beliefs in creation, forgiveness, and hope which were all given to me. I did nothing to earn them. I did nothing to deserve them. Humility in acceptance of these gifts is the only response that makes sense. On the other hand, humility makes little sense if I believe I am personally responsible for everything I have. What is there to be humble about? 

Confidence:

• Talk positively to yourself
  
• Limit or remove social media
  
• Lean into your faith
  

My confidence grows exponentially when I shift the source of that confidence from myself to something bigger than me. Rather than striving for confidence in my performance, my confidence goes to my faith in being okay regardless of the outcome. My faith allows this confidence to be unwavering. Absent this faith, my confidence falls solely to me, who I know is flawed, insufficient, and incompetent much of the time. What is there to be confident about?

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Separating the two simplifies our efforts to grow in the areas we are deficient in, however our most impactful growth will come when we engage in actions that foster humility and confidence at the same time. Here are a few actions that will help us grow both:

• Focus on the Process
  
  • When we focus on the process, we are forced to surrender the outcome which breeds humility. By committing all of our attention to the process, our confidence is elevated because we are now dealing simply with a process which is within our control rather than an outcome which is not.
    

• Work Hard
  
  • Hard work is rooted in humility. I mean, why work if we already think we’re good enough? We are prompted to work when we realize we have room to improve. In turn, that work builds our confidence creating a cycle of better performance and more confidence that propels us in an upward spiral. When you feel good, work. When you feel bad, work. 
    

• Apologize
  
  • Whether it’s your fault or not, apologize. If nothing else, it grows your willingness to be vulnerable and forces you to be more humble. Confidence will appear when you realize how trivial and meaningless accepting responsibility is. Your humility to apologize grows your confidence because it points you towards the proper source. The need to seen as right disappears as an obstacle and you realize you’re fine whether you’re right or not.
    

• Pick Up Trash
  
  • It seems too simple to be true, but it’s not. Doing jobs that are easy to view as beneath you or ‘not my job’ is an outwardly expression of humility. It demonstrates it to yourself and those watching you. Your confidence expands as you realize no job is ever beneath you and your willingness to do them doesn’t say less about you. And, believe it or not, it says more to you than it says to others.
    

Humble confidence isn’t something that gets posted on social media or plastered on walls in an office. It has to be experienced to be appreciated. The path to excellence is a narrow one but a humble confidence will widen the trail.

Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps before its release in March 2024. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!