 The Value of FoxholesThink about a time you have experienced great success or joy in your life and look around. Take note of the people that were there to celebrate with you and rejoice in your success.
Next, think about a time you were really struggling or going through a really hard time in your life and look around. Take note of the people that were there to console you and share in your struggle. Finally, think back to a time you were getting off track from the person you want to be. You were making decisions and taking actions that did not align with your values and character. Take note of the people that called it to your attention and the people that ignored it or just faded away from a relationship all together. There is certainly overlap in these three groups, but they are not all the same people. The group that celebrates our success is always the largest group, we’ll call them acquaintances. They know us and we know them. People love to be around, and associated with, success. There’s nothing wrong with that. We can learn a lot from watching how people attaining excellence think, speak, and act. However, the people only in this group are nothing more than fanboys. Be wary. The group that mourns with you will always be a subgroup of the people that celebrate with you. These people are your friends. They go out of their way to help, encourage, and support you in whatever is happening in your life. Our friends provide substance and fabric to our lives. Though we have a deep appreciation for and from these people, we need to remember they are friends and not all of them are members of the third group. The final subgroup is your foxhole. This group is small. The willingness to tell you the truth, especially when you do not want to hear it, is a separating factor among friends. It is the defining factor for those in your foxhole. They’ll always be there to celebrate with you. They’ll always be there to support you when you need it. But, more importantly they’ll always tell you what you need to hear over what you want to hear. Why Should We Care? Honesty is a difficult characteristic to come by, especially when it isn’t wanted. Finding people that are willing to give it to us that we can trust is of paramount importance if we have any interest in becoming the best version of ourselves. It’s a mission no amount of personal reflection, willpower, and awareness can support. We need others. And, our foxhole people are the best ‘others’. Our foxhole people make major contributions to our lives in a number of ways. Whether we realize it or not, they often significantly influence numerous choices that directly impact the trajectory of our lives. These people, more than anyone else, need our attention. That is, if we’re willing to give it. Our foxhole will drive our initiative to act. Nothing works unless we do. Your foxhole knows this. They model it and they value it. We need to do nothing more than observe the people in our foxhole. They are undoubtedly doers. They may be thoughtful and creative. They may propose ideas and suggest numerous solutions, but one thing is for sure: when it’s time to act, they’re at the front of the line. Oh yea, and when we are hesitating to act, they’ll call us on it. Our foxhole will push our willingness to struggle. Adversity makes us stronger. We know it but we still avoid it. We run from it rather than run to it. Our foxhole holds a perspective that allows them to see the value in the struggle along with the courage to push us towards it. They speak confidence into us, reaffirming that we will be better because of it. They soften the fall when we fail, reminding us that simply choosing to embrace the struggle is often the first step to progress. And, if we think about taking the easy road, they’ll call us on it. Our foxhole will grow our resolve to persist. Consistency fuels excellence. It’s not talent or brilliance. It’s consistency that wins. The willingness to fully embrace the value of delayed gratification is something only foxhole people are able to truly remind you of. The reason is because they’re invested in the relationship forever. It’s a long-term thing. They persist in the relationship. Good or bad, they’re there and they aren’t going anywhere. They help us act. They help us struggle. They help us persist. That’s how we grow. REAL TALK - Action Steps Our foxhole people make major contributions to our lives in a number of ways. Here are a few ways to be sure your foxhole relationships are impacting your life as much as they can.
Our foxhole is our people. Those are the ones we experience this life with. They are critical to your pursuit of excellence, but also to the joy you will experience. Take the time to be intentional and aware of who is in your foxhole and the value you add to each other’s life. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!
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 Quiet TimeHave you noticed how many people just walk around with earbuds, or airpods, in their ears? If you haven’t, now you will. It’s a lot - a whole lot. What are they listening to all the time? Or, are they just in case the most important phone call in the world comes in?
The next time you’re at the grocery store take a look at the people in line. If they are not actively checking out, and even sometimes when they are, ninety percent of them will be staring at their phones. What are they looking at, scrolling through? The percentage is nearly the same for the people that wake-up and immediately check their phone for notifications and emails. Don’t we think that if it was that important, they would’ve just called? It’s all noise. And, I think we are running to the noise to avoid the silence. Why Should We Care? That silence we are avoiding is the only place to find our true self. And, it’s only through our true self that we can have the impact on the world we were meant to have. Our true self is there. For most of us it’s just hidden. Our true self is kind of like a dusty mirror that needs to be wiped off and cleaned a little bit. The problem is, in today’s world, the dust doesn’t stop raining down. The dust shows up as music, phones, books, podcasts, work obligations, family responsibilities, personal challenges, and the list goes on and on. It’s not that any of it is bad, but it is all potential noise. Noise is something we put up with, we endure. It doesn’t really move us forward or help those around us. It doesn’t provide impact or even reflect who we are or what we believe. Noise feeds our desire to consume rather than create, to vegetate rather than initiate. If we are not careful, our days passively consuming will become weeks. The weeks will become months and the months will become years. Putting an end to this consumption is the key to unlocking our true self. One of the first steps to moving away from a mindset of consumption is to step into silence. Silence offers the space for self-understanding and creation. With enough of it we will stop mimicking and begin being. The world throws too much dust our way to sift through it without intentional time to discover what we really think, what we really believe, and who we truly are. That time must be quiet. Without silence, we stand no chance. REAL TALK - Action Steps Finding time to create silence is becoming harder and harder. It seems the world is on a quest to eliminate it all together. It does remain our choice, however. Here are a few ideas to help you choose a quiet time that works for you.
To serve others we must first serve ourselves by making sure we are bringing the best version of ourselves to the table. This doesn’t happen by chance. Finding regular quiet time is the first step on the path to the best version of yourself. Without it, we are merely drifting, or worse yet, copying the lives of others. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Just Keep SwingingOur team retreat prior to the start of our season is always one of the experiences our players cite as the most memorable of their high school careers. Though it lasts less than 24 hours, its impact often lasts a lifetime.
We do several things on the retreat including setting our team goal for the season, a grueling partner workout, capture the flag in the woods, and even some paintball to finish things off. However, the most anticipated activity is none of those. It's also the most impactful. For the past 12 years each player at the retreat has chopped down a tree. Most of our players have never held an ax, much less used one to chop down a dead tree in the middle of the woods. They all look forward to it, but they are clearly out of their comfort zones. All of our players approach it in different ways. The guys that have played baseball rare back and take huge hacks, attempting to demonstrate their beautiful home run swing that’s sure to knock the tree over in just a few swings. We have the smart guys that carefully negotiate for the sharpest ax then calculate every swing to be sure they’re striking the tree in just the right sport. And, we usually end up with at least one guy that’s so uncomfortable with the ax in his hands that he chokes halfway up the handle to insure more control, lightning the blows but double the frequency. The best part of the whole experience is that they all end up in the same place. After about ten minutes of consistent swinging, shedding a layer of clothing, adjusting their strategy a few times, and making virtually now significant progress, they all begin looking around at their coaches and teammates. And, they ask, “What do I do now?” The answer, though clear, is not what they want to hear. Keep swinging. Why Should We Care? The more I read and study leadership and personal development, the more I realize the value of consistency. Show up over and over and over, and eventually - poof, you’re better. It doesn’t feel much like magic though. The truth is, most people quit. Maybe for good reasons, maybe for bad ones, but most people tap out. It becomes too uncomfortable or inconvenient. It doesn’t produce significant results quickly enough. The repetitive nature of the consistent action becomes boring. Who knows? There are certainly times to change course. All the time is not the time. If we are willing to take an in depth look at excellence, in ourselves and others, what we will realize is that every single area of excellence was founded on consistency. Some may start further ahead than others but consistency is required regardless. There are no exceptions. If we just consider the players chopping down trees, the same is true. Regardless of their experience, approach, and strength all of the players get to the same point of contemplation and begin asking themselves questions. What do I need to do differently? How can I make this go faster? Am I doing something wrong? Is there a best form and approach for chopping down a tree? Sure. Is there a best way to hold the ax, plant your feet, and extend your arms? Sure. Would that speed up the process? Sure. But, so often we spend too much time trying to figure out the best way and lose sight of the only way we will ever get the tree to the ground … by continuing to swing. REAL TALK - Action Steps Maintaining a focus on consistency is not easy. Everything around us tells us to jump ship and choose the flavor of the month. Nonetheless, consistency is always a significant part of the answer. Here are a few ways to double down on consistency.
No matter how large the tree or small the swings, the tree always comes down. It’s the consistency of hundreds of swings that makes the difference, not the power of any single one. The same is true for us. It may seem like today’s actions don’t matter. In truth, they’re the only ones that do. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  No Retreat, FULL SurrenderWhenever I hear the “no retreat” the image of the Spartans in the movie 300 pops into my head. Armed with nothing more than shields and spears, the army of a measly 300 soldiers hold their ground against the mightiest of opponents.
Naturally, “no retreat” is typically followed by “no surrender” which I feel needs an asterisk. The Spartans certainly would never consider surrendering to the Persians, but they did surrender well before any battle began. Their commitment, their loyalty could never have been so steadfast if left to their own will. No, they surely surrendered - to Sparta. To look at it from a different perspective, consider prisons for a moment. Who do you think the most powerful people in prisons are? It’s not the guards or wardens. It’s not necessarily even the most violent criminals serving time. The most powerful people in the prison are always those serving life sentences. There is no retreat, not because they refuse to surrender but because they’ve been forced to surrender. They are out of options, so they surrender to the life of a man spending his remaining years in prison. Oddly enough, our lives align with this as well. Why Should We Care? See, we all surrender. It’s just a matter of what, or whom, it’s to. Some people surrender to greed. They work hours upon hours in an effort to get ahead, provide more for their family, take the next great vacation, buy a nicer house, impress their co-workers, … They chase their dream of wealth with no consideration of retreating. But, they’ve definitely surrendered to their pursuit of more. Some people surrender to their desires to be liked. They morph their words, actions, and eventually thoughts to match whatever they think other people want from them. Their pursuit of popularity and acceptance never draws back. These people have not only surrendered, they’ve laid down their own identity in hopes of being accepted as a cheap imitation of someone else. They’ve surrendered their true self. Some people surrender to mediocrity. They become so in love with their own ego that anything causing imbalance to their ideal self is a threat. This fear paralyzes growth, yet the comfort of safety keeps beckoning. They won’t retreat for fear of being discovered as the fraud they suspect they are. But, the white flag of surrender is clear to see. They surrender their potential. Of course, there’s many, many more things we surrender to. Surrendering isn’t really an option in life. We’re going to surrender to something. REAL TALK - Action Steps Why not intentionally give ourselves to something worthy of the one life we get to live? We may not realize it, but the decision is ours to make. It need not be left up to chance. Here are a few areas of life worth a full surrender and no retreat.
I read a phrase many years ago that’s always stuck with me: “a man praying on his knees never has to retreat”. Fully surrendered and accepting of his fate, retreating becomes unnecessary. Rather than chasing his will, he embraces the will set forth for him. We should all pray from our knees. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Treats That ServeOur Basset Hound, Izzy, is a slave to treats. Simply uttering the word turns a stubborn, uninterested pet into a fully engaged, willing servant - ready to respond to every beck and call. A treat is, without a shadow of a doubt, the secret sauce to the undivided attention of Izzy.
The goal for Izzy is very simple: get the treat. Whatever is asked of her, whatever the treat-holder is requesting is what she will do. To say she is results driven is a gross understatement. But hey, it’s worked out pretty well for her so far! We, however, are not dogs. And, as leaders, we are inevitably the treat-holders. So, what do we do with them? It’s a more significant question than you might think. Wield too liberally and nothing gets done without a treat being given. Hold them too close and hopelessness begins to rear its head as despair steps forward. Just consider Izzy again. If she gets a treat every time she behaves appropriately, it won’t be long until she only behaves appropriately when she’s going to get a treat. The balance we strike is critical to our development and success. And, it’s really not a balance of power as much as it’s a balance of relationships. Why Should We Care? One of the primary characteristics of people on the path to excellence is their understanding of the importance of relationships. Those that value excellence fully understand, and intentionally live, the fact that the only relationship we have with others is identical to the relationship we have with ourselves. Those of us that are critical of others are usually critical of ourselves, though we would likely withhold announcing our shortcomings as publicly as we would that of others. Those of us that are kind to others are usually conscious of giving themselves grace when they fall short of their own expectations. Those of us that hold ourselves to high standards are usually the ones pushing the standards of the people around them. Those of us that are accepting of the differences of others are usually accepting of the fact that they too, are quite different. Treats fall into this category as well. REAL TALK - Action Steps As leaders, we should consider how we are using the treats at our disposal. Do they propel ourselves and our people towards excellence or do they provide them with the false sense of security that they’ve arrived at excellence?
Treats can serve a purpose. They should not be the purpose. Finding ways to recognize and support yourself and your team on the path to excellence. This is what treats are meant for. Enjoy the process - you’ll be much more likely to continue it! For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
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