 Content v ComplacentJimmy loves his job. He looks forward to virtually everything about his daily duties because no situation is ever exactly the same. There are a few aspects of his current role that he doesn’t enjoy, but he realizes they are necessary for him to perform at the level he aspires to. Jimmy doesn’t watch the clock. Overtime doesn’t exist. He works until the job is done - and done to the standard he expects of himself. Jimmy looks forward to seeing his team every day. Learning from them, helping them grow, and having people who fill in for his weaknesses allow Jimmy to perform at a higher level than he ever could on his own. He and his team are always looking for a new edge, or angle, to stretch themselves. He loves what he does and who he does it with.
Jimmy is content. Johnny loves his job too. He looks forward to his daily duties and enjoys almost all aspects of his role, mainly because he’s comfortable with them. The ones he doesn’t enjoy he does anyway, usually without complaint. Johnny checks the clock every now and then, but he’s not ruled by it. He works until the workday is done, performing at the standard expected of him. Overtime does exist and Johnny does it when he has to. Johnny likes his team but most of the relationships have run their course and are nothing more than coexisting work partnerships. Johnny and his team believe ‘if it ain’t broke, then don’t fix it’ so they stick religiously to the way they’ve always done things. He enjoys what he does and who he does it with. Johnny is complacent. Why Should We Care? As you read through those paragraphs, there are subtle differences in Jimmy and Johnny’s approach to their work. Let’s take a little closer look at the differences. Jimmy and Johnny both love their jobs, but for two different reasons. Jimmy because he is consistently being stretched and Johnny because he is comfortable. For Jimmy it’s not really work, it’s what he does. For Johnny, it’s most definitely work - he’s good at it, but it’s still work. Jimmy works to the standard he expects of himself. Johnny works to the standard others expect of him. Jimmy sees the differences and unique contributions of his team. Johnny sees the similarities and limitations of his team. Jimmy is constantly stretching. Johnny is constantly shrinking. Contentment is misunderstood. It’s happiness and satisfaction. It’s appreciation. Contentment recognizes the benefit of the work, the value in the struggle and embraces them as a vital part of the road towards excellence. Contentment doesn’t push us to tire of these things, but further validates them as foundational in our success. Complacency does none of this. It takes the work and struggle for granted, looking to minimize them while still maintaining an acceptable level of performance. It wants to avoid struggle yet maintain success. Complacency diminishes the process while still desiring the same outcome. REAL TALK - Action Steps Ah, to avoid complacency and find contentment - that would be the goal, wouldn’t it? Here are a few ideas to guide you on that walk. Growing Contentment
Reducing Complacency
Contentment is a critical part of excellence while complacency has no place in it. Complacency is a thief of the soul, and contentment Robin Hood. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 Owning ItAs a high school athletic director, I had to hire and fire several coaches over my five year tenure. Both are difficult and bring their own unique challenges, but I always felt hiring was the more difficult of the two to get right. Firing was usually pretty clear. Oddly enough, there is one characteristic that shines a bright light on both scenarios - ownership.
Hiring is more difficult because you don’t know. You ask questions, check references, and observe behaviors; but at the end of the day you’re guessing. Of course, you are trying to gather information on a number of factors like knowledge, character, humility, personality … but, if you’re wise, a willingness to own all aspects of the position should be of the highest priority. I don’t want to make it sound like firing someone is easy. It’s certainly not, but it is often more clear than hiring. Like hiring, there are a number of factors to be considered when dismissing someone. I’ve found many of those factors to be coachable and not a singular reason for termination. One consistent exception is the willingness to own the situation - and there is no guessing needed. Just ask questions. If you get excuses and blame, there’s a good chance they need to go. If you can’t own it, you can’t lead. Why Should We Care? Let’s focus on two critical aspects of ownership that are paramount to excellence - impact and agency. Impact is the degree to which you affect someone or something. All of our impact is dependent on us believing that we matter - our presence, our thoughts, and our actions. It all matters. It makes a difference. If we don’t believe that, then what’s the point? We must own our impact. This is where everyone’s impact starts Beyond that, leaders that own their impact are aware of how their actions affect others. It’s not random, happenstance, or luck. Leaders that own their impact are intentional with every interaction. They believe a life could change at any moment. Agency is a sense of control - of our thoughts and our actions. Agency is also a belief in yourself to be able to handle any situation. If we have agency, we believe we’re going to be okay regardless of what is thrown at us. The situation doesn’t matter to leaders with agency. They will own it no matter what. They make it happen. For clarity, the opposite of agency is victimhood. People with a victim mindset have no belief in themselves. They are always at the mercy of others or circumstances. They own nothing. They are indifferent about their impact and unaware of their agency. Victims are allergic to owning. REAL TALK - Action Steps We can take a huge step towards taking ownership simply by eliminating a victim mindset. Take a look at the list below to see if there are any actions you could stop doing in your life that are encouraging you to think like a victim.
Leadership starts with owning your impact and agency. Unfortunately, for many, it ends there as well. It’s simple, not easy. Take full ownership of everything that happens in your life and things will stop happening to you and start happening for you. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Healthy DiscontentAccording to Mirriam-Webster, discontent is ‘the lack of satisfaction with one’s possessions, status, or situation; a lack of contentment’. While the definition suffices on the surface, I think it lacks some critical aspects when applied to leadership.
The three arms of discontentment mentioned are a little misguided. A lack of satisfaction with one’s possessions is frivolous, at best. You picked it or inherited or kept it. If you don’t like it, then get rid of it. It’s your possession. Why intentionally choose to be discontent around something you can literally rid yourself of? A lack of satisfaction with one’s status is simply a comparison with others. We need to eliminate any energy spent on concerning ourselves with other people’s opinion on our position or rank. Whatever you are, be a great one. A lack of satisfaction with one’s situation is ignorant. Your choices led you to the exact place you are right now. Being discontent with your situation is like eating Twinkies for breakfast and being upset about gaining weight. It’s not that complicated. Now, I get it. It’s not that you hate your possessions, you just want nicer ones. It’s not that you are completely disgruntled with your job, you would just like to be a little higher on the chain of command. It’s not that your situation is the worst in the world, you just wish it was better. It makes sense, but general discontentment isn’t going to help with that. We need healthy discontentment. Why Should We Care? Healthy discontent is centered on processes, not outcomes. Its disgust comes from the way something is done, not the result it produces. And, honestly, with the best in the world, it’s always present. It’s common for leaders, and people in general, to allow the results to be the trigger for creating discontent in the process. Unfortunately, the result is a lag measure … and lag measures make you late to the party. Lag measures are a measure of what has happened - past tense. Being discontent with lag measures is a waste of time. Instead, our attention needs to be directed to lead measures - those things we do that lead to the outcome we desire. It’s a measure of what is happening. Leaders on the path to excellence have mastered the dichotomy of healthy discontent. They are content with their possessions, yet striving to improve. They are not concerned with their status, but consumed with their impact. They are accepting of their circumstances, while owning the origin of them. Discontent is an unhealthy feeling tied to results that generates anxiety, frustration, and worry. Healthy discontent is a feeling married to the process that initiates reflection, evaluation, and constant change. REAL TALK - Action Steps Though I think we would benefit to consider applying the idea of healthy discontentment to most areas of our lives, here are a few areas outside the box to consider:
Discontent opposes all aspects of acceptance. Healthy discontent embraces acceptance of outcomes while challenging the process. Afterall, our lifestyle determines our life. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Being SoftNassim Taleb’s book Antifragile defines antifragility as becoming more robust when exposed to stressors, uncertainty, or risk. One of Taleb’s talking points in the book is the difference between fragile, resilient, and antifragile.
A wine glass is an easy example of fragile. I don’t own any wine glasses, but when I pick one up I’m always worried about breaking it. In my mind, one mishap and the glass will shatter. I’m careful with them and, honestly, don’t really enjoy being around them because of it. A plastic cup, on the other hand, is more in my comfort zone. It’s a good example of resilience. If you drop a plastic cup, which makes up about ninety percent of our drinking containers, it will maintain its size and shape. The stressor of being dropped doesn’t have an ill effect on the cup itself. It remains pretty much the same. There isn’t an ideal example for something that is antifragile. Things that are antifragile do more than survive stressors, uncertainty, and risk. They are improved by them. Antifragility takes resilience to another level and is the antithesis of fragile. Identifying things into categories of fragile, resilient, or antifragile is fairly simple: expose them to stressors - like dropping them - and simply observe the results. The same is true for us and the people we lead. Why Should We Care? Fragile is the coaching equivalent to soft and, in the coaching world, we love to describe players and teams as soft. Unfortunately, most of the time the players don’t have a full understanding of what soft even means, let alone how to change it. It’s elementary coaching to simply call out what you observe - like riding in a car with someone reading every sign out loud. It doesn’t take long for us to block them out or tell them to ‘shut up’. Before we get to understanding and changing it, we should at least acknowledge the reality of the acceptance of being soft, because it is a thing. I don’t know that blame can be placed on any certain group or specific activity, but it is clear that leadership now must intentionally plan to confront this ever present drift towards fragility. Parenting is a good place to start. Helicopter parenting used to be the concern - hovering around the playground ready to snatch little Jenny off the ground the second she fell. By being close by helicopter parents could limit the time of distress and struggle, swooping in to save her. Parents rationalize this as good parenting by keeping the child safe in the moment. However, in an effort to help, they actually harm because while the child may be void of minor injury in the moment she is now also void of the skills required to manage the distress the injury would have provided. I would argue the latter is significantly more important. As if the helicopter parents weren’t enough, now we have snowplow parents that are the concern - they’re still parked close by but they’ve either decked Jenny out with a helmet and knee pads, forbidden her from playing on any equipment that has even a remote chance of causing harm, gone to the city council to have swing sets removed from the playground all together. Again, in an effort to help, they manage to do even more harm by handcuffing the child to fragility. Leadership, it seems, has followed suit. Helicopter leaders are nothing more than micro-managers. Their intent is good, but they always end up clipping the wings of those they lead. Snowplow leaders are most often exposed by the feedback they give - padded and vauge. By removing the hard truths we think we are softening the blow and protecting our people. When really we’re robbing them of the opportunity to become antifragile. REAL TALK - Action Steps Becoming antifragile should be a goal all leaders have for the people we lead. We should have it for our children (I mean, what’s more important!), as well as our employees. However, society is now structured to keep people fragile - much more money to be made there. Here are a few ways to move them towards becoming antifragile.
We have a choice in this matter of softness. The label, just or not, is a culmination of the actions we take. If fragility is a reflection of our choices, then so is antifragility. Choose wisely. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
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