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Healthy Discontent

According to Mirriam-Webster, discontent is ‘the lack of satisfaction with one’s possessions, status, or situation; a lack of contentment’. While the definition suffices on the surface, I think it lacks some critical aspects when applied to leadership.

The three arms of discontentment mentioned are a little misguided.

A lack of satisfaction with one’s possessions is frivolous, at best. You picked it or inherited or kept it. If you don’t like it, then get rid of it. It’s your possession. Why intentionally choose to be discontent around something you can literally rid yourself of?

A lack of satisfaction with one’s status is simply a comparison with others. We need to eliminate any energy spent on concerning ourselves with other people’s opinion on our position or rank. Whatever you are, be a great one.

A lack of satisfaction with one’s situation is ignorant. Your choices led you to the exact place you are right now. Being discontent with your situation is like eating Twinkies for breakfast and being upset about gaining weight. It’s not that complicated.

Now, I get it. It’s not that you hate your possessions, you just want nicer ones. It’s not that you are completely disgruntled with your job, you would just like to be a little higher on the chain of command. It’s not that your situation is the worst in the world, you just wish it was better.

It makes sense, but general discontentment isn’t going to help with that.
We need healthy discontentment.

Why Should We Care?
Healthy discontent is centered on processes, not outcomes. Its disgust comes from the way something is done, not the result it produces. And, honestly, with the best in the world, it’s always present.

It’s common for leaders, and people in general, to allow the results to be the trigger for creating discontent in the process. Unfortunately, the result is a lag measure … and lag measures make you late to the party. Lag measures are a measure of what has happened - past tense. Being discontent with lag measures is a waste of time. Instead, our attention needs to be directed to lead measures - those things we do that lead to the outcome we desire. It’s a measure of what is happening.

Leaders on the path to excellence have mastered the dichotomy of healthy discontent.

They are content with their possessions, yet striving to improve.
They are not concerned with their status, but consumed with their impact.
They are accepting of their circumstances, while owning the origin of them.

Discontent is an unhealthy feeling tied to results that generates anxiety, frustration, and worry.
Healthy discontent is a feeling married to the process that initiates reflection, evaluation, and constant change.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Though I think we would benefit to consider applying the idea of healthy discontentment to most areas of our lives, here are a few areas outside the box to consider:

• Intentionality 
  
  • Are you intentional enough - with your thoughts, words, actions? How often do you think about being intentional? Do you plan anything out - write it down? When do you reflect and consider what you thought, did, or said? How often do you get caught up in the happenings of the day and lose track of your purpose and values? What could you do to intercede? No one floats up stream.
    

• Attention
  
  • Where are you committing your attention? Is it producing the fruit that you are hoping for? Does it align with the values and purpose you’ve set for yourself? How much of it is wasted - time on phone, TV? Are the most important things in your life getting the majority of it? What reminders do you have to re-engage when you catch yourself being distracted? We are a reflection of our thoughts.
    

• Health
  
  • How’s your diet? What are you eating? When are you eating it? Are you working out? Is it enough? What vitamins or supplements do you need to be taking? How is your flexibility? Are you thinking clearly? What’s your sleep schedule like? Are you sitting too much? Are you doing something hard or challenging regularly? How you treat yourself is how you treat others.
    

• Relationships
  
  • Are you connected with the people you want to be connected to? Do you talk to them often enough? Do you know what’s going on in their lives? How often do you write notes or letters to them? Who has fallen out that you would like to reconnect with? Who have you met recently that you would like to stay in touch with? You are a reflection of your five closest relationships.
    

Discontent opposes  all aspects of acceptance. Healthy discontent embraces acceptance of outcomes while challenging the process. Afterall, our lifestyle determines our life.

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