bcg blog

What Game Are You Winning?

I see it as a teacher and coach all the time. 
Ultra-successful parents that are fully committed to their careers, successful by every professional measure, yet I wonder if they are truly winning. I suppose it depends on what they are trying to win.

If they view success as financial prosperity, climbing the corporate ladder, and accumulating items of status; then they are, indeed, successful. Clearly, this is the accepted definition of success society has adopted. 

On the other hand, if they view success as involvement, support, and impact within their family; then many are failing miserably. At least, that’s the way it looks from where I’m sitting. 

Of course, nothing is to say these two extremes represent the only options. I think we all aspire to find the perfect balance where we avoid sacrificing any part of our life. 

But, aspiring to do something and actually doing it are two different things.

Why Should We Care?
The Stephen Covey quote “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing” would be a great coaching/teaching/parenting axiom … when you remember it. Unfortunately, it’s awfully easy to stray away from the main thing. Whether it’s as simple as a game plan or as complicated as our life choices, the challenge to keep the main thing the main thing remains the ultimate challenge. 

When we keep the main thing the main thing, the game we set out to win remains in the crosshairs of our focus. When we get pulled away from the main thing, we naturally drift to the societal norm. We become controlled by our emotions and circumstances. Instead of striving to win our game, we become consumed with the peripheral. 

Spend too much time in the peripheral and you soon forget the game you set out to win in the first place.

Of course, some simply set out to win society’s game to start with.  They’re often good at it. However, I am convinced that everyone eventually realizes exactly what the main thing is. Hopefully before we are lying on our deathbed; but, if not, I’m confident we’ll realize it then. And, I’ve never heard, or read, about someone wishing for more time to chase those societal successes at that point. 

REAL TALK - Action Steps
While there are many things in life that can distract us from the main things, it is always our choice. Remaining intentional during the times below will go a long way in helping you stay centered on the game you set out to win.

• During Failure 
  
  • Failure is a beautiful thing that we avoid like the plague. We are never as good at reflecting and assessing our current process than we are when we lose. The danger lies in our choice to change, specifically what we change. Too often in an effort to change the result, we compromise our main things.
    

• Success
  
  • Success is a liar.  It fools us into thinking that the things receiving praise from society are consistent with the game we should be playing. Unfortunately, they rarely align. Not only that, winning at the wrong game becomes its own obstacle. Before long, winning becomes the priority with no awareness of the game we are playing.
    

• Emotions
  
  • Our emotions sidetrack us from a lot of things, and that includes staying focused on the main things. If we begin to allow our emotions to drive our stories, we will quickly lose track of the main things. The game we are trying to win falls to the wayside, replaced by the emotional push of the moment. 
    

So, what game are you winning? Is it one you can stand on throughout your life or is it a game centered on your status and ego? Are you aware and intentional about keeping the main thing the main thing? Does the game you’re trying to win reflect the priorities in your life? Questions worth considering.

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