bcg blog

Home Base

One of my favorite games growing up was Hide and Seek. If you’re not familiar, sorry - you missed out on a lot of great times in your childhood. Hunkering down in the dark in hopes that whoever was “It” couldn’t find you never failed to generate just the right amount of butterflies to keep you nervous and excited at the same time. 

One of the key aspects of the game was the designation of a safe place where everyone hiding was trying to return safely to. We called this place “Home”. If the person who was “It” found you hiding, you could make a run for “Home”. Making it back to “Home” without being tagged was the only way to ensure that you weren’t “It” the next round. 

The goal each round is always to return “Home” safely. 

Just like in Hide and Seek, we need to know where home is in our lives too.
Physically, of course, but mentally as well.

Why Should We Care?
I’ve noticed a growing number of teenagers, though I’m confident it’s not limited to this age group, that have an increasingly hard time regulating their emotions. The slightest adversity or failure sends them into a tailspin they struggle to recover from. They think it’s the adversity that’s creating the issue for them, when it really has little to do with their circumstances at all.

The absence of “Home” is the issue.
Without a clear understanding of what “Home” is, we have no guide for our actions. They simply become the result of our emotions. Feel mad, act mad. Feel irritated, act irritated. Feel happy, act happy. On the surface that may not seem like a significant issue, even normal, but our ability to regulate our emotions plays a major role in our ability to be our best and to lead.

Knowing where “Home” is allows us to control the narrative that drives our emotions. The only difference between love and indifference is the story we create regarding the circumstance. Tell ourselves a story of value and appreciation, love follows. Tell ourselves a story of futility and uselessness, indifference shows up.

Our “Home” is reflected in our actions. If our actions are consistent, regardless of whether others agree with them or not, then it’s likely we know where “Home” is. If our actions vary from situation to situation, then there is a good chance we are still unclear on “Home”. Most turn to their faith and values as their “Home”, but often stray when circumstances challenge their beliefs.

It’s not enough to know where home is, we must be faithful in returning to it.
The effectiveness of our leadership depends on it.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Just like in a good game of Hide and Seek, we are all trying to make it “Home” safely. Some of us get there quickly and some of us hide for a long time before making it “Home”. In either case, here are a few questions to consider as you identify exactly what “Home” is to you.

• What do you believe? 
  
  • Think big picture. Do you believe in God or are we each our own god? Why are we here? Does our life have purpose or are we simply another iteration of the previous generation? If it has a purpose, what is it? 
    

• Who do you aspire to be?
  
  • Think small picture. Day to day, moment to moment who do you want to be? What actions should you take on a daily basis to be that? When is it hardest for you to be that person? How do you feel when you live in this way?
    

• How do you stay true?
  
  • Think about the moment. What do you need to do in order to stay calm, keep a clear head, and create a story that reflects what you believe and who you aspire to be? Who do you need to surround yourself with? 
    

Our emotions are not dependent on our circumstances. In order to live in this manner daily, we must have a clear picture of where “Home” is. Choose your story in order to choose your life.

Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps before its release in March 2024. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!