BCG Blog

Admire the Frame

Have you ever thought about how good someone else is at something?
With no envy or jealousy - only admiration and appreciation?

There really isn’t anything hard about it. We see greatness all around us, but how often do we recognize it?

The obvious explanation is that we’re selfish, all of us. We think about ourselves - what we’re wearing, what we look like, and what we’re driving. The funny thing is: we think other people are thinking us. 

They’re not. They’re thinking about themselves. 

So, stop worrying about what they’re thinking.
Now, as for you …

In Dan Millman’s book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, he quotes japanese psychiatrist Shoma Morita as saying: “When passing by a mirror, notice the frame.”

Why Should We Care?
My daughter, Ally, is the most thoughtful person I know. She is constantly thinking about ways to make other people’s day better. Whether it’s just the right birthday present or a simple handwritten note, it seems she is consistently looking outside herself.

Al is 20 years old now, so she’s written me a lot of notes over the years. Like any dad, all of them are special but the one she left on the counter for me to find last year is my all time favorite. 

Following our state championship basketball game last season we had a pretty cool family night with just the four of us and Coach Leiker, who is an equal part of our family. After all the celebration with the team, former players, and community; we didn’t get back to our house until about 2am. We sat around and talked about the game and events of the night for about an hour before heading to Waffle House around 4am. I know it may seem weird to a lot of people, but coaching basketball is what our family does so it all made sense to us. 

Of course, plenty more stories were shared throughout the morning. The ‘night’ ended with Gabe going to the gym to get some shots up around 5am. A pretty cool end to an unbelievable night. 

I woke up the next morning to one of the most memorable parts of the entire season for me.
This note from Ally:
    Dad - 
To watch all of your and Gabe’s hard work come to fruition was one of the best moments of my life. I’m so happy for both of you. I love you! - Dink

She not only looked completely outside of herself, but she had the courage to share it. I wish I could take credit for her ability, and willingness, to look at the frame and not in the mirror. But, she’s far better at it than I will ever be. 

REAL TALK - Action Steps
There is greatness all around us. We just have to look for it and understand what it 

• Follow the Goose Bumps 
  
  • Ever wonder why you get those things, besides when you’re cold? My theory is that they are usually touching greatness. Someone going after a life-long dream, a person committing to tireless work for just a chance to be successful … notice the next time you get them and wonder why. 
    

• Check for Tears
  
  • I’m a sap for movies. I cry at the end of Secretariat every … single … time. Like I mentioned with the goosebumps, we are brought to tears for a reason. I believe it’s often because we see someone reaching deep within themselves and taking a risk that we admire.
    

• Appreciate Where It Came From
  
  • Recognizing it is one thing, writing it or speaking it into the world is another. Don’t keep that to yourself, tell the person. And, more importantly, share your appreciation for the work and sacrifices their greatness cost. It wasn’t free, or a gift. They have likely spent years investing in their passion in order to raise those goose bumps on your neck.
    

There is greatness all around us. We just have to look for it and understand what it is. Greatness isn’t achievement like we are led to believe. No … it’s going for it. We know it’s true. Our body doesn’t lie to us like society does. Have the courage to look for, and appreciate, the greatness in those around you.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
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