bcg blog

The Difference Between "Of" & "To"

When you point a finger at someone you have three pointing back at you. At some point in my childhood, wise counsel shared this surprising reality with me and I’ve never forgotten it. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ve always refrained from passing blame … but I do try not to point when doing it.

The advice comes in many forms from virtually every high achiever we read about, but does that really match what we see? In the news we don’t have to look far to find people that have seemingly ‘made it’ to well paying, highly sought after jobs who seem very accustomed to pointing fingers.

It almost seems like the shirking of responsibility is one of the privileges status and power offers. 

Why Should We Care?
Arrival is a dangerous belief. It can change the way we see everything we do and transform why we do them. When we transition to mentioning our process in the past tense we are only a few steps away from falling victim to the pointing finger.

What we fail to realize is that the mission is to be on a path of excellence, not a path to excellence. It’s not a place we get to or something we obtain. It’s a way of doing things, a process we have committed to. It’s a way of life. When we realize this, where responsibility falls becomes crystal clear.

It’s always our fault. And, even if it’s not, we’ll take it. 

On the path of excellence we understand whatever situation we’re in isn’t nearly as important as how we handle it. We are married to the process and surrendered to whatever result that process may yield.

On the path to excellence we are consumed with the outcome of the situation and will handle it in whatever way will produce the best result. We are married to the result and will manipulate the process as much as necessary to achieve it. We become a slave to results, regardless of our beliefs and values.

The difference may seem minor, or a matter of semantics, but it’s anything but insignificant.
It’s a matter of who we are versus where we’re going.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Accepting responsibility is openly encouraged and privately avoided. There are things those on the path of excellence choose to do to enhance their willingness to prioritize the process over the result. Here are a few to consider:

• “It’s not them”
  
  • They’re not the problem. You are. And even if that’s not true, you’re the only one you can change. What good does it do to focus our attention on things and people that we can’t change? None. Stop doing it. Fix yourself.
    

• “Just keep swingin”
  
  • Excellence is much more about persistence than brilliance. The path of excellence fully embraces the work. The path to excellence will always be searching for the shortcut. The work is the shortcut. Stop looking and start doing. Discipline trumps talent eventually.
    

• “#whocares”
  
  • This was one of our calling cards with our 2021 State Championship team. Who we played was irrelevant. We were going to approach practices and games the same way regardless of when the game occurred or who the opponent was. We prepared and played to a standard we chose, not one depending on an external factor.
    

The path of excellence offers benefits that the path to excellence never could. It colors all aspects of our life while providing fulfillment regardless of the outcomes we experience. The path to excellence is one dimensional and offers nothing more than a moment of bliss followed by the emptiness of what’s next.

Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps before its release in March 2024. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!