BCG Blog

Confidence Over Arrogance

One draws people to you, the other repels them.
One pushes you through challenges, the other allows them to blindside you.
One requires self-awareness and humility, the other is literally the void of both.

We love confident people. It’s one of the things that pulls us in. When we see others performing with confidence, we are inspired. We want to be around them - heck, we want to be like them. They attack opportunities with, what seems like, no fear of failing. They think about what can go right, not what can go wrong. And, when things go wrong, they bounce right back. They are undeterred by the setbacks. They know who they are and that they’re going to fail … a lot. This is, in fact, what they have confidence in - their ability to respond to adversity. 

We make excuses for arrogant people. They try to dismiss it as another level of confidence that others don’t understand. It’s not. They don’t inspire, they suppress. And, we don’t want to be around them … yet, we act like we want to be like them! They are never at fault and obstacles aren’t theirs to overcome. They spend so much time and effort armoring up to protect the image, the only thing they are fully aware of is themselves.

Why Should We Care?
We make too many excuses for arrogant, a-holes. I’m not saying you have to confront them or be friends with them, but you do need to recognize them. If you are trying to lead a team, nothing is more detrimental arrogance. It eats at the fabric of trust needed to make any team effective while marginalizing the efforts and contributions of the humble. 

Confidence is different. People that are confident understand, and appreciate, the process they have committed to. And, they realize it’s that process they have confidence in. Things will go right and things will go wrong, but the process will eventually lead to the best possible outcome. Standing firmly in that belief is at the core of the confident. They will fail, but they will respond. 

It appears like they are fearless and, in a sense, they are. The absence of fear is because their confidence isn’t in achieving the goal, which they realize they don’t control. Their confidence resides with their ability to respond, good or bad, to whatever happens. There is no fear because they know they completely control that response. 

REAL TALK - Action Steps
So, how do we live and lead with confidence without pushing it to arrogance? How do we focus on that response and not the result? Reflection and self-awareness are critical, but here are a few specific ideas to get you going in the right direction.

• Walk in Your Purpose 
  
  • I think we are all better versions of ourselves when we are moving forward in our purpose. Simply the acknowledgement that we have a purpose is oftentimes enough to help us recognize that others do too. And, that no one person’s purpose is more, or less, significant than another person’s. 
    

• Sweep the Shed
  
  • A phrase borrowed from Legacy by James Kerr but perfectly describes the importance of doing the little things others don’t want to do. Pick up trash, move the chairs, shovel the gravel ... the willingness to do these types of jobs is a sure sign of humility. Arrogance and humility can not co-exist. Practice putting yourself second, or third, or last. It’s good for you and better for those you lead.
    

• Mind Your Who
  
  • Pay attention to the people you spend time with. They will rub off on you, guaranteed. Not too many things matter more than the people you surround yourself with. If the three people you spend the most time with are arrogant, then chances are you are too. Take an inventory of your inner circle. Adjust your time as needed to increase your time in the company of the confident, not the arrogant.
    

Arrogant people suck. Be nice, say hi. Help them when you can, but stay away from them. There are a lot of great people we can surround ourselves with. Choose them. 

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

​