BCG Blog

Gritty Facts

I love Brene Brown’s idea of Gritty Faith and Gritty Facts. The gist of it is that we need to approach challenges and obstacles with an unwavering resolve and confidence (Gritty Faith) while also confronting the brutal reality of the situation (Gritty Facts). 

In my opinion, the societal movement to avoid conflict and not hurt anyone’s feelings has made the Gritty Facts part … we’ll say elusive. 

It’s commonplace to bring up the obvious problem, everyone does that. We’ll have meetings about it, spend an inordinate amount of time discussing and complaining about it, just to propose a simple solution to a simpler problem. Problem solved, boxed checked. 

Few teams spend the time to surface the root of the problem, reflect and evaluate their individual role in the issue, then come together to find a solution that doesn’t just solve the problem but moves the team and organization forward all together. 

I find the biggest problem not to be finding the solution, but asking the question in the first place. This is especially true when things are going well. If we’re winning, meeting our goals, everything must be going well right? The Gritty Facts are, we’re killing it!

Not necessarily so. 

Why Should We Care?
Following football, basketball, and baseball games growing up I would always ride home with my dad. He coached several of the teams I played on, but not all of them. Dad is a man of few words and rarely offers his opinion ... unless you ask. 

Now, if you ask, you’re going to get the truth. It’s not going to be filtered or softened. It’s not going to account for how you felt that day or what your ego might want to hear. You’re getting the Gritty Facts.

I figured that out pretty quickly and would save the “How’d you think I played, Dad?” question for games I was confident dad’s feedback would boost my confidence. Afterall, we all want our dad to say how great he thought we played, right?

I miscalculated one game. 
After a basketball practice in which I thought I played pretty well, I clearly remember my dad’s assessment being quite different. Following my search for praise, he listed off a myriad of mistakes and lapses in focus and effort that were unacceptable in his mind. Of course, my natural response was to defend them - in my head of course, not outloud.
When we arrived home mom could tell that I was upset. I’m sure the not-so-subtle dropping of my bag and closing of my door tipped her off. 

Mom is like the Gritty Faith angel. She thinks we can do anything, and she never hesitates to tell us so. She is the constant dealer of hope. 

When she came into my room she did the normal mom stuff like asking me how practice was and expecting an answer of more than a single word. Then, she smiled, patted me on the back and said “Your dad loves you. That’s why he tells you the truth. If you don’t want the truth from him, don’t ask.” And she got up and walked out of the room.

I think we all need to be more willing to ask … AND LISTEN to the Gritty Facts.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
It’s not easy to open yourself up for critical feedback, but nothing good is easy. We need to find ways to establish processes that now only allow the Gritty Facts to surface, but encourage them. Here are a few ideas that might help.

• Invite Outside Evaluators
  
  • Go for variety here. Invite people that know you and your team and others that know nothing. Invite people from your space and others from completely different ventures. I do warn you to avoid inviting the agreeable givers, as Adam Grant describes them. People that want to tell you all the things that you’re doing well while omitting all the things you could be doing better. If you’re mining for the Gritty Facts you want the disagreeable givers that Grant identifies. They care enough about you to tell you the brutal truth.
    

• Ask The Right Questions
  
  • We are designed to seek praise, so our questions often lend themselves to positive feedback. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing all the time. What I am saying is that it’s all you’ll get unless you ask the right questions. The Gritty Facts will stay hidden, unless you happen across a rare disagreeable giver like my dad. For others you need to ask what you could do better; what one thing they would change; something that didn’t feel right; your biggest area for growth ... if you want the Gritty Facts, ask for them.
    

• Receive It Well
  
  • Nothing blocks quality, helpful feedback like denial and excuses. Listen to understand, not to respond. Welcome all information, you can decide what’s applicable and what’s not - afterall, it’s your feedback. Thank the person for their honest, unfiltered thoughts. For those whose advice you applied, be sure to share with them the result of their feedback. This will encourage them to provide the Gritty Facts again in the future, to you or someone else. 
    

Honesty is love. We need to embrace this fact. Sure it may hurt our feelings at the moment. Sure it may embarrass us or make us angry. The willingness to see the long term benefit and actively embracing the Gritty Facts is one of the trademarks of excellence. Seek it more.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

​