 It's Not About YouContrary to our intuition, others don’t see the world the same way that we do. They have different experiences that have formed different beliefs. This is as it should be.
Also contrary to our intuition, others don’t need to agree with us. Differing opinions provide different perspectives. This variety is the strength of the team, not a weakness. However, in order to appreciate this mindset, we have to remember the most important rule for any team: It’s not about you. If it’s about you, then it can’t be about the team. If it’s about the team, then it can’t be about you. Why Should We Care? Accepting, that’s right accepting, a position on a team is a significant decision one should give serious consideration. And, most don’t. By agreeing to become a member of a team, we are agreeing to surrender ourselves to the team. You can have goals, the team’s just have to be more important. The same applies to the ego. Our ego must be secondary to that of the team also. Elite teams have a collective confidence, belief that precedes them. It is driven by the individual egos on the team, but is collectively much greater than the sum of the individual parts. In a 1994 playoff game versus the New York Knicks, all-star Chicago Bulls player Scottie Pippen refused to go into the game when Coach Phil Jackson drew up the final, game-winning play, for Toni Kukoc instead of Pippen. Kukoc made the shot to win the game and Pippen went directly to the locker room rather than celebrating with his team. Clearly, in Pippen’s mind, it was about him, not the team - at least in that moment. Jackson, a hall of fame coach, handled it exactly as you would expect. He left Pippen on the bench. We should take note and do the same with team members prioritizing themselves over the team. REAL TALK - Action Steps Clear situations like the one above aren’t as difficult to identify and respond to as some of the less egregious acts are. Below are a few ways to identify teammates that might think it is, in fact, about them.
The realization that when you’re on a team, nothing is about you is a humbling one. Consider it practice for other important aspects of your life that will require a similar type of surrendering. Your friends, your family, and your faith to name a few. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!
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 It's a Matter of DisciplineWe resist it, even when we understand it.
We don’t like it, even when those who want what’s best for us suggest it. We betray it, even when it paves the path for the results we aspire to. Yet, it persists. Never wavering in its commitment to progress. Never demanding credit or seeking the spotlight. Never compromising the right way for the easy way. Discipline is funny like that. We can try to deny it, but the reality of its necessity is not debatable. We’ve all experienced the excellence it can lead us to as well as the trouble it can keep us out of. In today’s society, discipline is truly the road less traveled. A quick glance at the popularity of diet fads and get rich quick schemes tells us all we need to know about our search for the easy way. Not only that, it’s now become practically vilified as a buzz word to avoid. Thankfully, the easy way never leads to the same place as the road less traveled. Why Should We Care? Discipline can’t be faked. It can’t be replaced. It can’t be avoided. That is, if excellence is the vision. There are few things we can choose to do that will have a bigger impact on our lives than establishing a practice, and appreciation, for discipline. Consistency and persistence are the trump cards in the growth and development game. When all else fails, just keep showing up and doing the work. Progress provides the fulfillment we all long for in our pursuits. In our minds, we’re pursuing things but what we’re really after is the feeling we think that thing will deliver. This is precisely why so many people achieve something they’ve always dreamed of and suddenly have a feeling ‘that’s it’? The fulfillment was in the process. And, that progress wouldn’t have been possible without discipline. REAL TALK - Action Steps The good news is that discipline is a choice. The bad news is that we have to make it again over and over, day after day, even moment after moment. Here’s a few reminders when it comes to choosing discipline consistently.
I’m tired of people trying to act like discipline isn’t critical to growth, development, and the pursuit of anything worthwhile. We want to give it different names and fancy it up to be something it’s not. There’s nothing sexy about discipline. Accept it and do it because there’s also no replacing it. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  What Game Are You Winning?I see it as a teacher and coach all the time.
Ultra-successful parents that are fully committed to their careers, successful by every professional measure, yet I wonder if they are truly winning. I suppose it depends on what they are trying to win. If they view success as financial prosperity, climbing the corporate ladder, and accumulating items of status; then they are, indeed, successful. Clearly, this is the accepted definition of success society has adopted. On the other hand, if they view success as involvement, support, and impact within their family; then many are failing miserably. At least, that’s the way it looks from where I’m sitting. Of course, nothing is to say these two extremes represent the only options. I think we all aspire to find the perfect balance where we avoid sacrificing any part of our life. But, aspiring to do something and actually doing it are two different things. Why Should We Care? The Stephen Covey quote “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing” would be a great coaching/teaching/parenting axiom … when you remember it. Unfortunately, it’s awfully easy to stray away from the main thing. Whether it’s as simple as a game plan or as complicated as our life choices, the challenge to keep the main thing the main thing remains the ultimate challenge. When we keep the main thing the main thing, the game we set out to win remains in the crosshairs of our focus. When we get pulled away from the main thing, we naturally drift to the societal norm. We become controlled by our emotions and circumstances. Instead of striving to win our game, we become consumed with the peripheral. Spend too much time in the peripheral and you soon forget the game you set out to win in the first place. Of course, some simply set out to win society’s game to start with. They’re often good at it. However, I am convinced that everyone eventually realizes exactly what the main thing is. Hopefully before we are lying on our deathbed; but, if not, I’m confident we’ll realize it then. And, I’ve never heard, or read, about someone wishing for more time to chase those societal successes at that point. REAL TALK - Action Steps While there are many things in life that can distract us from the main things, it is always our choice. Remaining intentional during the times below will go a long way in helping you stay centered on the game you set out to win.
So, what game are you winning? Is it one you can stand on throughout your life or is it a game centered on your status and ego? Are you aware and intentional about keeping the main thing the main thing? Does the game you’re trying to win reflect the priorities in your life? Questions worth considering. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  More, More, MoreThe paradox of success says that success itself is often a catalyst for failure. The more success we have, the more opportunities that surface and the more opportunities we are presented with. In our consistent pursuit of more, we typically run through those newly opened doors.
After all, more has to be better, right? More clothes, more shoes, more cars, more money, more friends, more admiration, more respect is what we all pursue. We not only do everything we can to achieve these things, but we also love to attach our value and worth to it. The more money we make, the more powerful we are. The more wins we have, the more respect we deserve. We love the relentless pursuit of more. Until we don’t. Why Should We Care? There comes a time in our life when more isn’t enough, when we realize more doesn’t provide the satisfaction we once thought it did. We realize that far more things in life are non-essential than we would like to admit. We finally accept that almost everything is noise. And, more of it is just more noise. The thing that sets excellent leaders, and people, apart from everyone else is that they are able to identify the critical few. And, just as importantly, disregard the trivial many. They stay committed to the most important, never tiring of the simple or mundane. For a clear example of the value in focusing on the critical few, look no further than fast food restaurants. While there are plenty of food chains offering a wide variety of options, those that are considered excellent typically narrow their focus. Chick-fil-A and Cane’s are dedicated to chicken while Five Guys sticks with hamburgers. The quality they provide is not a coincidence. They’ve identified their critical few. The same is true for us in our personal life and our leadership journey. We are at our best when we have clarity around our priorities. Our core values and purpose can provide this for us if we are open to doing the work to discover it. Rather than striving for more of the non-essential we need to become disciplined in the things that matter the most. REAL TALK - Action Steps In his book Essentialism, Greg McKeown identifies a three step process to focusing on the most important items.
Choosing to focus on the important, eliminating the other things that don’t really matter, and accepting that we can do anything but not everything is one of the most important steps on the path to excellence. The sooner we grasp the value of less, the better leaders we will be. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Motivation AwarenessSpend enough time around competition and you’re bound to hear hundreds of different reasons people claim to be motivated. The business world is no different, the motivating factors vary drastically from one professional to the next.
As a general rule, we don’t really care too much about motivation as long as it leads to the result we are looking for. Whatever works for you, works for us: to prove others wrong, to elevate your status, to receive recognition, for fear of failing, for fear of being embarrassed, because others are counting on you, because it’s your job, or to demonstrate your love for those on your team What I think we fail to understand is that motivation is just sport code for purpose. And, far too many people rely on unhealthy motivation to obtain short-term results. Why Should We Care? Why you do things matters. Even if the results look the same, the purpose - motivation - behind why we do them isn’t necessarily the same. And, I don’t believe the results are truly the same. I’ll use the example of a student preparing to take a big test since it’s in the world I live in and something virtually everyone has a firsthand account of. If the student is motivated by a fear of failure, she may commit an inordinate amount of time to preparing for the test. In order to have this time for studying, she had to compromise time spent somewhere else. The stress she experiences and anxiety suffers as a result of her motivation, most would agree, are not positive for her. Of course, motivation from fear could also lead her to shutting down and doing nothing to prepare since she expects the worst. If the student is motivated by the desire to elevate her status by appearing smart to her peers, she may cheat. The process of preparing is almost viewed as a negative, detracting from her true genius. Cheating seems logical, which clearly robs her of the growth and experience of gaining new information and challenging herself. But, if elevating status and the opinions of others is paramount, then the very best result is all that matters. If the student is motivated by the duty to be the best she can because she is grateful for the opportunity that she has to learn and grow, she will likely prepare extensively. She would probably maintain a healthy balance however since she likely carries this same feeling of responsibility into other areas of her life. She would fully embrace the process of doing her best on the test. If the student is motivated by the love of learning as a means to help others she would also likely dive head first into the preparation and process necessary to do her very best. She may also find herself expanding her understanding beyond the test, realizing that her ability to help others likely wouldn’t be relegated to only the material on the test. She would be searching for understanding so that what she was learning could be applied to help others. A good grade on the test could happen for all four motivations. The same short-term outcome. But, the motivation clearly changes the process, which changes the long-term result. REAL TALK - Action Steps In his book, Think Like A Monk, Jay Shetty shares Hindu philosopher Bhaktivinoda Thakura’s description of the four fundamental motivations. As Jay explains, ‘these four motivations drive everything we do.’
If you consider your purpose for doing anything - from taking out the trash to loving your spouse - one of these motivations is driving the action. Clearly we want to live in duty and love, but we all will find ourselves in fear and duty from time to time. Be aware. Be intentional - as much with your motivation as you are with your desired outcome. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Are You Giving or Trading?The results never tell the whole story. Of course, the process we choose to undertake is important.
But, our purpose matters … a lot. Have you ever been around someone that does something strictly to evoke a desired response from another person? Lencioni calls this ‘politics’ in The Five Dysfunctions of a Team for obvious reasons. When we act with no expectation of anything in return, we are giving. Whether that be giving our time, our thoughts, our feelings, our expertise, our advice or a helping hand, a pencil, a battery, a book. When we act expecting anything in return, we are reducing the act to a transactional trade. Trading my time for your time, my thoughts for your understanding, my feelings for your sympathy, my expertise for your admiration, my help for your help, my pencil, battery, or book for a debt you will owe me later. The tangible results are identical. The fabric of those results is quite different. Why Should We Care? Are you truly serving those you lead, or those you love? Or, are you acting under the guise of service in order to get what you want? I think the latter is much more common than the first. To truly give, we have to surrender. We must surrender our desire, need for affirmation, even adulation of others. Sure we don’t come out and say that’s what we are looking for. What would people think? It’s much easier to stay in the shadows with our mask on pretending to be what everyone wants us to be. We must surrender our wish for acceptance and worth based on our accomplishments and recognition. Is there anything more difficult to surrender than the desire to be liked or placed on a pedestal for being ‘the best’? Giving requires no acceptance. It measures no worth. To trade, we need not offer the same sacrifices. We readily trade our values and behaviors for the affirmation and acceptance of others. Our beliefs are a willing exchange for recognition and adulation. REAL TALK - Action Steps Unfortunately, we don’t like surrendering. Therefore, we trade a whole lot more than we give. Detaching those strings of control are a major step in our leadership journey. Here are a few ideas to get a little closer to surrendering.
Plenty of successful leaders have invested heavily in the trade system. Many get remarkable results. I’ll always question the true impact one can have as a trader though. Whereas the impact of a giver will never be in question. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Go Play“Go play.”
It was parenting 101 in the ‘80s, and my parents were well versed in it. So we played. And, it didn’t matter what we played. Of course, we played sports like football, basketball, baseball, and kickball. But, we also played some non-conventional games like tag, jump over the creek, rocks on the roof, bike races, hide and seek, and a hundred other made up games. This desire to just ‘play’ is something I still enjoy today. I’m not as enamored by basketball, for example, as I am about the continued opportunity to try, fail … to compete - sometimes against others, but often against myself. Why Should We Care? The game isn’t the point. The competition isn’t even the point. In leadership we often hear young people advised to chase their passion. While I understand this advice, there are inherent problems with it. The primary issue is that most people think of their passion as a thing they do like a sport, a profession, or a hobby. Passion isn’t a thing you do. Passion is an emotion evoked by the thought or action of doing something. Passion is much more about how you do something rather than what you are doing. Passion is entrenched in the process, not the game or the result. As leaders we need to begin helping people discover the process that produces their passion. If for no other reason than passion casts out fear. When passion is present our concern with failing, being embarrassed, or not being enough are gone. Consider the example of play. Those concerns don’t even exist under the pretense of play. They simply become an aspect of play that are not only accepted, but enjoyed and embraced. REAL TALK - Action Steps Play brings about passion. Finding a process beyond play that inspires passion is more challenging. It requires reflection and self-awareness along with a lot of trial and error. It’s well worth the struggle.
When we love the process we are undertaking we will endure immense struggle in order to simply keep doing it. No reward needed. The process and the passion are the reward. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  I Doubt ItWhen my son, Gabe, found out he was going to be trying out for his first AAU basketball team, he was excited. When he found out the team was the North Coast Blue Chips he was nervous. The Blue Chips were Bronny James’ team. His dad, LeBron, had just relocated to Cleveland so they were creating a team in Ohio for Bronny to be able to compete.
Gabe loved basketball, but had never played competitive basketball. He had been in the gym with me for practices almost everyday. He had spent hours in the basement or in our driveway improving his skills, but had really only played one year of organized basketball. As a ten year old, Gabe was already dedicated to getting better. He practiced everyday, usually spending a few hours each day practicing the game he loves. Upon learning of the tryout opportunity in front of him, Gabe - not mom or dad - bumped that up to 3-4 hours each day. He was obsessed about being as good as he could be at the tryout. He knew he had worked hard to that point, harder than probably 95% of kids his age. Yet, it wasn’t the confidence from his previous work that pushed him to double down on his commitment. It was the doubt that he wasn’t good enough to make the team. Why Should We Care? We often think that our work and drive to excel is rooted in our purpose and our belief in ourselves. Remember, you can be anything you want to be according to your mom and dad. But the truth is that our drive isn’t nearly as connected to our confidence as it is our fears. Gabe wasn’t driven to work three to four hours per day because he knew could be great. He was willing to put that type of work in because he was afraid he wasn’t good enough. The same is likely true for the hardest workers on your team. Those driven to work are fueled far more by doubt than they are by confidence. They are on a constant mission to prove themselves, unsure if they are good enough. This uncertainty provides the tightrope anyone seeking excellence must walk. Too much doubt and we are crippled by a lack of confidence that leaves us unable to perform. Too little doubt and we become over confident and soon begin to lack the value of the work we once put in. Some reflection will lead you to the same discovery. Those times when you went all in, gave every last thing you had, were usually times you weren’t sure you could get the job done. Doubt was present and you needed to do everything you could to give yourself a chance. And, when you came through, confidence and belief grew. Fulfillment was experienced. REAL TALK - Action Steps Here are a few ways to maintain a healthy level of doubt in your pursuit of excellence.
Doubt is so often viewed as a negative thought, but like virtually everything, it is what you make of it. It’s not the thought of doubt that matters, but our response to it. With an underlying faith that we will persist and find a way, doubt can provide the very motivation for your foundation of work. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Simple Is Not SimpleThe offensive anchors for our basketball program are “Simple & Together”.
Together is fairly straightforward. It addresses areas such as sharing the ball, making the extra pass to the open man, being a good teammate, doing your job on every possession, and helping teammates by screening and cutting. Most players understand this aspect rather quickly. The other tenant, simple, is much more difficult for players to understand and execute. And, I don’t think this is relegated to basketball. I see it in teams in all aspects of society. Simplicity is one of the most misunderstood and undervalued concepts we entertain. Why Should We Care? Simplicity requires understanding. “Before I studied the art, a punch was just like a punch, a kick just like a kick. After I learned the art, a punch was no longer a punch, a kick no longer a kick. Now that I’ve understood the art, a punch is just like a punch, a kick just like a kick. The height of cultivation is really nothing special. It is merely simplicity; the ability to express the utmost with the minimum.” - Bruce Lee It’s a fascinating paradox. The more we learn about something, the more we realize we don’t know. This stands in stark contrast to the YouTube phenomena in which everyone thinks they can just watch a five minute video and know everything there is to know on a specific subject. It’s simply not true. Some of the most toxic situations on a team occur when confident unknowledgeable people become the loudest, and most persistent, voice. Simplicity requires embracing the mundane. No matter how you dress it up, the simple things are never sexy. It’s exactly what makes them simple. One of the most significant mistakes we make as leaders is gradually lessening the emphasis we place on the simple things as the stakes get higher. Every accomplishment we experience is rooted in the same simple, mundane actions that we initially embraced when we started. It’s the persistence of those mundane actions that drive our success - not the lone win, the news headlines, or the SportsCenter play. Simplicity requires patience. The whole idea of delayed gratification seems like a foreign concept nowadays. Something our forefathers might of had to adhere to, but we get to skip over. This is not the case for simplicity. The riches that come from simplicity are a slow burn. Slow enough that most give up on it just before they begin to see the benefit of it. It’s the daily, boring, forgettable work that few see and even fewer value appropriately. REAL TALK - Action Steps We have so many demands, commitments, and deadlines pulling us in various directions that it’s difficult to stay focused on what is most important. Here are few ideas to assist in staying on the path of simplicity.
The daily, boring, forgettable work that few see and even fewer value is actually the straw that stirs the drink. We lead to help others be the best versions of themselves, to help them achieve things they didn’t think was possible. If that’s truly the case, we should double down on our emphasis on the simple. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  The Leadership PendulumWe’ve all been in the grocery story with the parent that has no control over a single child under his watch. This tiny menace is typically grabbing things off the shelf, invading the space of strangers, and can often be found throwing a temper tantrum at the first sign of things not going the exact way his four year old mind thinks it should. It’s brutal to watch.
We’ve all also been in a store with the parent that corrects, loudly and publicly, the slightest contrary act of their child. There is no sign of menacing behavior, many times we wonder if the child is allowed to make any decisions on their own or if they can do anything that would be viewed as ‘right’ by their adult. This is equally brutal to watch. The accommodator and the commander represent the two extremes of the leadership pendulum. A pendulum we must be intentional to control. Why Should We Care Too accommodating and we rob those we are leading of the struggle necessary to grow. In an effort to relieve immediate pain, we are unknowingly choosing to restrict long-term potential. The coddling and pacifying only sooth your need for comfort. It helps no one. Oddly enough, consistent commanding does much of the same thing. By assuming absolute control, we fail to allow those we lead to take risks, make mistakes, and come up short - or succeed beyond our expectations. This desire to direct every movement is our egotistical claim that we know best. Again, we are attempting to avoid the struggle necessary for growth. Again, to sooth our need for comfort. To be clear, both extremes have a place in which they are the perfect approach to leading, though it’s not often. Like most things, the best answer for most people is typically somewhere in between. Choosing which to use when is much of the art of leadership. That choice, which is a big one. One you should consider carefully. Also, one that requires a significant level of self-awareness. Self-awareness is clearly a superpower - as you interact with people you quickly realize the number of people that are truly self-aware and the people that can fly aren’t far apart. Yet it’s so critical for our development as leaders, and people. Self-awareness precedes every change we make in our lives. Progress is virtually impossible without it. Yet, so many of our routines and interests pull us further and further from the actualization to move us forward. Self-awareness isn’t an optional trait for leaders pursuing excellence. REAL TALK - Action Steps Here are a few questions to consider when trying to decide how you will best lead yourself and others. Our answers to these questions will be significant in identifying where we fall on the leadership pendulum between accommodating and commanding. Think about them. Write down your answers. *Questions are from Joe Ehrmann’s book InsideOut Coaching.
The leadership pendulum isn’t really a thing, but it serves as a great metaphor to prompt some self reflection that increases your awareness. Once aware, we can choose. Until then we will remain a victim of our circumstances and at the mercy of those around us. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
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