 Hold Fast & Stay TrueSociety likes to pull us in all different directions. It has a special knack for making us feel like we need to be something we’re not, sometimes anything we’re not. If we’re into maximizing ourselves and becoming the best version of ourselves we can be, we’ll commit to reflection and growing our self-awareness. We’ll wrestle with our previous setbacks and mistakes in order to improve, then make the adjustments to our lives that increase our chances of being better in the future. And, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
We gather all of this feedback from those around us, society. Too often, this audience gives us poor advice. They tell us we need to compete like this person over here or serve our community like this person over here. The comparisons never stop. We always have someone new that we’re supposed to be like. Here’s the deal though. The world doesn’t need anymore people pretending, or trying, to be LeBron James or Mother Theresa - or anyone for that matter. What it needs is real, authentic people that know who they are and what they stand for - and then actually stand for it. Why Should We Care? There are thousands of personal values that may be important to you. Well, guess what. You can’t be all of them. You have to pick what is most important to you. That’s the way life works. At Least for those aspiring to excellence. I suppose if you are willing to fluctuate and adjust your behavior, decisions, and values with each encounter then you may be able to touch on a large number of them. As a matter of fact, that’s exactly how most people go about their lives. And, it’s certainly possible to live a ‘good’ life this way. In my opinion, it’s the impact on others that is missing. By carefully choosing our values, we are telling others what is important to us. By limiting them to only a few, we increase the significance of each. As Pat Lencioni pointed out, “if everything is important, then nothing is.” The fun, easy part of the process is discovering your values. The challenging part is living them … every single day, in every single interaction, and through every single adversity. Holding fast and staying true is the real challenge. REAL TALK - Action Steps So, how do we do it? How do we hold fast to our values when things are really good or really bad - both are equally as challenging? How do we stay true to the person we have said we want to be? I wish I had an easy answer for you, but the truth is it’s hard. And, is exactly why it’s the path less traveled.
Here’s the thing … we’re going to make mistakes. We’re going to mess this up. The key? Pick up the axe, stand up next to the tree, and swing again and again and again. Just keep choppin! That’s how you hold fast and stay true. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!
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 The Two Sides of CompetitionThe willingness and desire to compete is a necessity in the pursuit of excellence. Competition is a driving force for many people, and can be an extremely positive motivator. However, there are two sides to competition. The side we operate from is based on our purpose and will determine whether we are pursuing excellence or success.
I need to take a moment to define excellence and success: Excellence - the pursuit of your personal best Success - your superiority over someone else based on your comparison with them Notice excellence is NOT your personal best, it’s the pursuit of your personal best. The pursuit is where excellence is. Also notice, success is not process based. It’s outcome, successful or not successful, is based on who you are comparing yourself to. Why Should We Care? The side of competition we are most familiar with, and surrounded by in society, is that of external comparison. The purpose of this side of competition is to win. That’s the measuring stick and how we decide if we are successful or not. Win the game, sell more than my associate, maximize the deal … that’s what winning a competition looks like. This is how much of society is structured and how most people live their lives. The competition is the motivating factor to measure up, prove your worth, or demonstrate your superiority. The comparison gives you immediate feedback on the competition. The other side of competition which is less familiar to us, and is uncommon in society, is that of internal comparison. This side of competition is constantly pulling at the question: did I improve? Basing our assessment of success on this gauge pushes us down the path of excellence. Win? Great, what did I learn? Finish third in sales this month? Great, what did I learn? The constant reflection and focus on growth is contrary to the finality of external comparison. At the root it centers on the process, rather than the result. There is no self-worth tied to results or superiority to be claimed. With internal comparison you are only competing with yourself. REAL TALK - Action Steps Coaches and bosses love team members that are willing competitors. However, there is a difference between the two that must be acknowledged and honored. While the external competitor can often achieve high levels of success, excellence is reserved strictly for the internal competitors. Here are a few thoughts on growing the ability to grow your internal competitor.
I love competitors. There is a pureness to what they bring to a team. They go for it despite the fear of the unknown. They don’t hold back. Ever. Competitors don’t always win, but they are always moving towards excellence. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Envy the EnemyAccording to my quick Google search, envy is a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck. It’s a desire to have something that someone else has. We know it’s not good. We know we shouldn’t do it. But, man, is it hard to guard against.
Our hair, teeth, height, and weight … our car, house, shoes, and clothes … our education, job, income, and profession are just a few potential areas where envy may surface. It’s literally everywhere. And, there’s no escaping it, especially in leadership. Why Should We Care? As a leader, envy blinds us to what we DO have. In a constant desire to have the opportunities, resources, and compensation of others we begin to become ungrateful for our own situation. As we focus on what’s missing from our leadership journey, we miss golden chances to impact the people we are leading. Envy is one of the most common ways to avoid remaining present. As we daydream about how things could be, what others have, and the future we want we are neglecting where we are right now. Envy robs us of our appreciation for the present. It’s not possible to be grateful and envious at the same time. Some attempt to use envy as a motivator to funnel their energy and passion towards something they hope to attain. They try to pass it off as fuel towards a goal, which may provide significant motivation for a time. However, it can never provide the motivation necessary to accomplish any worthwhile goal. The pursuits we value the most will be challenging and take a significant amount of time to accomplish. Our purpose must be driven by our own desire to contribute to others, not our pursuit of what someone else has. REAL TALK - Action Steps Fighting envy is not easy. It’s everywhere, and no amount of previous accomplishment or success makes it go away. Many people are accustomed to looking outside of themselves for answers and guidance, but fighting envy is a strictly internal struggle.
Envy has the potential, and desire, to poison all parts of our lives. Be grateful for where you are, what you have, and who you are. This is the best medicine for envy. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Courageous & KindIf I had to identify the two most critical characteristics of the greatest leaders, or mentors, I have known, it would come down to these two: courageous and kind.
Are there better descriptors of the best leaders than courageous and kind? Sure, the argument for the need to be an expert in your field will come up. But, what good is knowledge without the courage to take action based on that knowledge and the kindness to apply it appropriately? Some could debate the need for the ability to build relationships as critical for a leader. And, of course, it is. However, it’s courage that allows us to introduce ourselves or say what needs to be said. It’s kindness that leads to the awareness of what another person needs to hear at any certain time. Courage and kindness are at the heart of relationship building. And, the ever-present focus on an elite work ethic is common for high achievers and leaders. Courage is what supports the willingness to sacrifice one thing for another. And, at some point in that process, kindness will become critical for maintaining the balance necessary to uphold that work ethic. Why Should We Care? What is courage? According to Miriam-Webster courage is the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear or difficulty. A good definition, I guess, but I would like to share with you what I think courage is. Courage is the only bridge to action. No courage, no action. A lot of things are said, and a lot of people are great at giving their opinions, but far fewer are willing to take action. What good are philosophers without activists? Self-awareness and the willingness to be vulnerable are critical traits of the best leaders I’ve known, but do they matter without the readiness to act on them? I don’t think so. I think there are plenty of people that know themselves, but never reveal themselves. I believe strongly in core values and their importance in living an intentional life. Sadly, there are a lot of leaders that have done the work to identify their core values, but lack the courage to live them on a daily basis. What is kindness? Kind is defined as of a sympathetic or helpful nature. Another solid definition by the Miriam-Webster crew, but I would like to offer my take on kindness as it applies to leadership. Kindness is unselfish. When we show, or don’t show, kindness to others we are communicating their importance to us and the team. Kindness gets a bad rap for being soft, but that is typically by people that don’t understand what kindness actually is. It’s not accepting excuses or lowering the standard. That’s the opposite of kindness. There is nothing ‘helpful’ about that. Relationships are important. There is no other way to say it or look at it. If you’re in leadership, or a person …, relationships matter. Kindness is the crux of all relationships. It is what supports the vulnerability and trust necessary to build them. REAL TALK - Action Steps Here are a few ideas on helping you to be just a little more courageous and kind.
Be courageous and kind. Everything may not fall exactly in place with just those two things, but a whole lot will. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  The EdgeYou hear people talking about it in the sports world all the time, but it holds just as much weight in our personal and professional lives. In sports, it has a way of standing out. The edge is one of those things that’s easy to see, but hard to define.
The edge is often described as a hunger, or thirst, for growth. People with an edge seem to be early risers and busy bodies. They’re constantly working on something in an effort to gain an advantage. The edge can also entail a significant amount of emotion. Most would use words like fiery, competitive, and passionate to describe people with an edge. For the best, this surfaces as positive energy that inspires others. The other side, of course, is when emotion gets the best of us and we react inappropriately to adversity. In my opinion, “The Edge” encompasses both of these perspectives but requires a much deeper understanding of ourselves and our purpose in order to truly be an edge. Why Should We Care? An edge gives us an advantage. Too much emotion, not an edge. Being constantly busy, not an edge. Our edge needs to be intentionally designed. It’s the opposite of indifference. It is the path to our purpose. There is no greater edge than the alignment of your values and purpose. If I could pick one word to describe having an edge, it would be urgency. When you have an edge, this moment matters. You’re not waiting for the next time or next opportunity. Now is the time. Always. You operate differently with that urgency as a mindset. Mistakes and successes are both moved past quickly. Not because they aren’t important, but because they aren’t now. The edge will push you to learn from both because each improves your chances for success in your next now. When you have an edge, you carry yourself differently. You’re confident in your resilience and ability to deal with whatever happens, yet humble enough to know you’re going to fail from time to time. The edge doesn’t guarantee victory, but it does guarantee growth. With an edge, you do walk close to the line. You take risks, which are scary. And, sometimes you lose. However, it’s clear to anyone around you that you are not indifferent - you have purpose in your actions. There is an urgency in your choices. REAL TALK - Action Steps I don’t think there is anything magical to give yourself an edge. No matter how many motivational speeches you watch or how much inspirational music you listen to, having, or not having an edge, is always your choice.
Find your edge. Live your edge. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Unspoken GratitudeIt’s easy to see in retrospect, but why do we have to look back to see it?
For me, it’s almost always a lack of courage to voice it. Gratitude and appreciation for those around you is critical for a leader. The trust it helps create is essential to the accountability and difficult conversations you need to be able to have in the future. I think most leaders recognize the importance of expressing gratitude, but I think most of the people we lead would also agree that they don’t receive it enough. The question is why: Why do leaders dismiss a job well done? Why Should We Care? Let’s begin with the first question: why do leaders dismiss a job well done? The most common response is that the people are doing what they’re supposed to do. They shouldn’t need to be told, “good job” for something they are supposed to do anyway. While I was somewhat raised under this philosophy, I now recognize how important it is to encourage the mundane and boring. Which, if you think about it, should be obvious. We like to think that excellence lies in the great performances and highlights. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Consistency wins. And, consistency is in the everyday. If we stop recognizing and honoring that, then those we lead begin to lose value in the importance of the very things that drive our excellence. Another reason we fail to share our appreciation is a personal flaw - we lack the courage to do so. I know, I know … you’re the leader. You rose to this position because of your courage. Yea, yea … this is different. Now you need to be open and vulnerable. Telling a team member what an incredible job they did on their last project may infer that they could possibly be better than you at that task. Or it could make you sound soft, touchy-feely, mushy! Guaranteed - the longer you lead, the more you realize the importance of relationships. In order to build relationships you need trust. And, there is really only one way to trust and that’s through vulnerability. Call it soft if you want. Those that know would consider it the greatest strength of a leader. REAL TALK - Action Steps The action steps to help with this is difficult because it comes back to individual decisions in the moment, requiring our courage to answer the bell time after time. Here are a few ideas to help you consistently call on your courage.
Saying thank you seems like a simple thing to do, and it is. I encourage you to go beyond thank you. Let those around you know exactly what it is they do that you appreciate. Maybe it’s their smile or their consistency, but the more specific you can be the more impactful your gratitude. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Confidence Over ArroganceOne draws people to you, the other repels them.
One pushes you through challenges, the other allows them to blindside you. One requires self-awareness and humility, the other is literally the void of both. We love confident people. It’s one of the things that pulls us in. When we see others performing with confidence, we are inspired. We want to be around them - heck, we want to be like them. They attack opportunities with, what seems like, no fear of failing. They think about what can go right, not what can go wrong. And, when things go wrong, they bounce right back. They are undeterred by the setbacks. They know who they are and that they’re going to fail … a lot. This is, in fact, what they have confidence in - their ability to respond to adversity. We make excuses for arrogant people. They try to dismiss it as another level of confidence that others don’t understand. It’s not. They don’t inspire, they suppress. And, we don’t want to be around them … yet, we act like we want to be like them! They are never at fault and obstacles aren’t theirs to overcome. They spend so much time and effort armoring up to protect the image, the only thing they are fully aware of is themselves. Why Should We Care? We make too many excuses for arrogant, a-holes. I’m not saying you have to confront them or be friends with them, but you do need to recognize them. If you are trying to lead a team, nothing is more detrimental arrogance. It eats at the fabric of trust needed to make any team effective while marginalizing the efforts and contributions of the humble. Confidence is different. People that are confident understand, and appreciate, the process they have committed to. And, they realize it’s that process they have confidence in. Things will go right and things will go wrong, but the process will eventually lead to the best possible outcome. Standing firmly in that belief is at the core of the confident. They will fail, but they will respond. It appears like they are fearless and, in a sense, they are. The absence of fear is because their confidence isn’t in achieving the goal, which they realize they don’t control. Their confidence resides with their ability to respond, good or bad, to whatever happens. There is no fear because they know they completely control that response. REAL TALK - Action Steps So, how do we live and lead with confidence without pushing it to arrogance? How do we focus on that response and not the result? Reflection and self-awareness are critical, but here are a few specific ideas to get you going in the right direction.
Arrogant people suck. Be nice, say hi. Help them when you can, but stay away from them. There are a lot of great people we can surround ourselves with. Choose them. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Dealing Hope5 things you should say to your team more often.
5 things you should say to your boss more often.
5 things you should say to your children more often.
Why Should We Care? Far too often we hold back on sharing our appreciation and gratitude, concerned we will sound weird or different. Say it anyway. We only have one opportunity for each of these perishable gifts. Don’t miss your window. No one regrets sharing feelings of appreciation. What we regret is holding back. I’ve always believed motivation is internal in the best performers. They don’t rely on external forces to determine their motivation from day to day. However, I do believe leaders have a responsibility to deal hope to those we lead. All the examples above are simple ways to do just that, deal hope. As leaders we are often drawn to focus on the weaknesses of our team members - what they can’t do, what they struggle with. As we begin to become more aware of our team members’ strengths, we seem to find more. The more willing we are to look for chances to lift others, the more opportunities we will recognize to do so. REAL TALK - Action Steps There are hundreds of ways to deal hope, and every teammate is different. Trust your gut and live in the courage that will allow you to share all the positives your teammates bring to the table.
Leading is a gift that needs to be shared. Dealing hope is how we share that gift. Look for opportunities with your team, be intentional with your words and actions. Nothing is more fulfilling than helping others achieve things they never thought were possible. We do that by dealing hope! For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Be a Real OneWe spend a lot of our life pretending.
As children, it was a game. As adults, it’s living. We put on a face of happiness. We pretend to be confident. We fake it until we make it, right? Well, maybe we shouldn’t. Maybe we should spend more time on just being real. Why Should We Care? I remember getting ready for school one day when I was in middle school, struggling to decide on which shirt to wear. My dad happened to walk by my room as I was switching shirts in front of the mirror. Dad stopped, assessed the situation and brought clarity to the situation for me with one frank comment: “People don’t care what you’re wearing, they’re too worried about what they’re wearing.” It made sense to me and helped me realize something I couldn’t really articulate at the time, but I knew I didn’t like about myself at the time: I was fake. My struggle to pick the right shirt was nothing more than a futile effort to appease others. My decisions, in more than my attire, were based on what I wanted others to think, not what I thought. Then I noticed it was everywhere around me too. Now in the real world, beyond middle school, I’ve realized it isn’t any better - likely worse. So much of the time we’re fumbling around as characters in a fictional drama, acting out our next role in the day. An encounter with someone that is authentic is like finding a four leaf clover. It’s to the point now that if you want to be different, just be real. You’ll stick out like a sore thumb. We are all drawn to authentic people, yet we work to avoid it ourselves unsure that our authentic self will be accepted. Unfortunately, we fail to realize it’s the authentic that others are looking to accept, not the things we are trying to fix. The scars, blemishes, and failures that we are constantly pulling the blinds over are the exact things that harden relationships and build trust. REAL TALK - Action Steps Being ‘Real’ is clearly not easy, but it’s also not hard. It’s simply a matter of choice. We can choose to allow ourselves to be seen for who we really are or we can armor up and hide the very things that would provide the strongest connection to others. We like to make it hard by hammering ourselves with a barrage of fabricated stories to justify our facade.
Being a real one is one of the greatest compliments we can get from those we lead. It says we are vulnerable, yet confident ... flawed, yet courageous. And, please notice, real is rooted in what we do, not the words we say. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Good EnoughDuring a basketball practice my junior year one of my teammates spilled his water bottle on the court during a break. Coaches and players grabbed towels and practice jerseys to wipe it up as quickly as possible. As one of the players was finishing up, he made his last swipe and frustratedly exclaimed “Good enough” as he got up off his knees and prepared to begin practice again.
At that same time, Coach Z was standing along the side holding a towel waiting for this player to finish. As the player passed him, Z, in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear replied frankly, “Good enough never is.” He dropped to his knee and finished wiping up a few remaining wet spots and we began practice again. No lecture or explanation, he just let it hang there. I had always remembered Z’s comment, but it had not registered completely with me until years later when I began intentionally working to grow as a leader. Why Should We Care? There is one thing all people that people willing to settle for ‘good enough’ have in common: they’re willing to compromise their standards. See, the problem isn’t that job, activity, or duty. The problem is what ‘good enough’ leads to, which is more compromises. There are undoubtedly things you do daily that just need to be completed at an adequate level. They don’t need to be perfect or require your best effort. However, we should be striving to limit these items if for no other reason than it violates our standards. We’re all familiar with the phrase gateway drugs, but we often fail to acknowledge the actual issue with any damaging behavior. It’s not gateway drugs that are the problem, it’s the gateway habits that precede the drugs. The same can be said for ‘good enough’. It’s a gateway habit leading to a gradual decline in our personal standards. Eventually we become master negotiators with ourselves on what is, and isn’t acceptable. REAL TALK - Action Steps So, how do we fight the societal tendency to accept ‘good enough’ from ourselves and those we lead? It’s a challenge, no doubt. The initial focus must be on ourselves. Afterall, no one is going to truly listen to a ‘good enough’ leader.
Even the phrase ‘good enough’ sounds like you’re settling - like yea I’ll do it, but it’s really not that important so I’ll just do the minimum so I can say it’s done. Who wants that to be their standard for anything? Simplify to allow yourself to consistently maintain your personal standards, then commit to living up to that standard moment by moment. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
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