 Fail In PublicSports are great until they’re not.
They’re not so great when egotism and selfishness are recognized and rewarded. They’re not so great when laziness and talent beat hard work and discipline. They’re not so great when everyone gets a trophy or when the trophy is all anyone cares about. But, when they’re great, they’re really great. Simply performing in public presents us with an important decision - will we hold back, play it safe, and try to control the outcome or will we let it go, take the risks that come with excellence, and surrender the outcome? It’s a big decision. A lot is at stake. When you fail in public you are presented with a choice between character and compromise. When you succeed in public you are presented with the same choice. Why Should We Care? As a high school basketball coach, my failures are always public. There is nowhere to hide and no one to blame. I’m constantly presented with the character or compromise dilemma. I’ve had a lot of reps. Unfortunately, I don’t always choose character. Fortunately, I’m going to keep getting better. At this point in society, sports are viewed as just about anything but what they were intended for. Having been engulfed in youth sports the last ten years, the number of times I’ve heard “It’s all about getting that scholarship” or “It’s about getting recognized” or “It’s about respect” or “It’s about getting mine” is absurd. I don’t know that this mindset has become the majority, but it has definitely become the loudest. Better people make better players, better teams AND better husbands, parents, and citizens. While we are consumed getting scholarships or earning our respect, we’re missing out on massive opportunities for personal growth and development. As always, the purpose colors the how. Then you have the “It’s all about having fun” or “We’re all winners” crowd. While I think this philosophy is an attempt to negate the over-the-top approach mentioned previously, I don’t believe it serves young people well either. Fun is important. Winning is more fun than losing - I’ve tested both sides of this extensively. What we should focus on is establishing where the feeling, or emotion, we call ‘fun’ comes from. At times this is laughing, playing, and having a carefree time with friends. Adults have removed this aspect from youth sports by taking control of organizing, running, and monopolizing youth leagues. This type of fun still thrives if you can find a pickup or backyard game to jump into. A different perspective on fun that still has the ability to thrive in the current world of youth sports is through fulfillment. People enjoy progress. They like to work hard at something and see improvement. Whether this results in wins or losses matters in the moment but not in the long term. According to Angela Duckworth, renowned researcher and author, grit is the biggest indicator of future success. Youth sports offer a virtually unlimited number of opportunities for grit to be developed. REAL TALK - Action Steps Failing in public is a scary proposition. One a lot of people shy away from or avoid all together. Here are a few thoughts on fostering the maximum possible growth in your arena.
When there is no place to hide, quickly recovering from minor setbacks are paramount. We put our best foot forward for ourselves, and our team, when we maintain perspective, focus on the response, and define success on our terms. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!
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 Let Others Say ItThere is this growing trend for athletes to post their highlights following a game. Technology has certainly made it easier as many of the filming programs that teams use filter all the clips by athlete. Doing so increases the ease for athletes to share their highlights, resulting in additional clicks and engagement for the media company. It’s clearly a “win” for them.
For the athletes, it provides evidence of their talent; which, with the combination of social media, allows this talent to be broadcast to all followers and willing clickers. No longer do fans and scouts have to see an athlete in person to appreciate their talent, now it’s there for the world to see minutes after the game ends. In years past, athletes would claim, and rightly so at times, that they were missed for college and professional opportunities because no one knew about them. Well, the days of being missed are all but over. This heightened awareness seems like a good thing - for athletes, corporate workers, everyone really. And, I’m not here to tell you it’s all bad. However, I do think it carries a dangerous side effect that we are becoming too comfortable with. Why Should We Care? Here’s the biggest issue: It defies humility. There are a lot of things that go into making and performing on a team, most of which can be tinkered with to some extent. Humility is not one of them. There is nothing more important when it comes to teamwork than the humility of the team members. Talent may put a limit on your potential, but a lack of humility will destroy your efforts entirely. The concern is that this lack of humility is being encouraged. People are being instructed to not only self-advocate, but self-promote in these situations. I believe you should have confidence in yourself, sure that you are more than capable of getting the job done. That’s exactly how you should feel if you have prepared and put in the necessary work. It’s not confidence when you talk about it after the fact. That’s called boasting or bragging or any number of other bravados … but it’s not confidence. Being a self-advocate means communicating your interests, desires, and rights. Self-advocating is not the same as self-promotion. When you are self-promoting, there’s something really important that you aren’t doing: Team-promoting. It’s possible to do both at the same time, but that’s not what is going on here. When you are on a team and self-promoting, you are actually driving the team further apart - not pulling it together. REAL TALK - Action Steps So what do you do? You perform well. You want to share it. Here are a few ideas to help.
Arrogance is like termites in the foundation of a house. It will destroy it from the inside out. Competitors like to think of themselves as lions, kings of the jungle. The analogy isn’t a bad one. Strong, powerful, asserting their will on everyone and everything around them. Just remember, real lions never roar after the kill. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Shared EgoThe art of leadership is blending the personalities, strengths, and egos of all team members into a cohesive unit. Of course, there are plenty of scientific and tactical steps that help us on this path. Many are very useful, but if you are averse to the messiness of the artistic side of leadership then it’s probably best to avoid it all together.
Leadership is not neat or clean. As a matter of fact, if it is neat and clean then your team is likely faking it. It’s easy to accept it because we want to. We want it to be clean. We want it to be easy. It’s not. It’s never going to be. And, that’s good news. The good stuff is never neat and clean. And, they’re definitely not easy. Why Should We Care? Every member of your team arrives with baggage. We don’t control what they bring, but we do become responsible for helping them use it for the good of themselves and the team. Expecting team members to strip themselves of their ego, or personal identity and idea of self-importance, isn’t realistic. It’s also not what is best for the team. The ego each individual brings to the team is precisely what makes a team so special. The individual ego isn’t the problem. The placement of the individual ego is the problem. When a team comes together, to expect all individual egos to fall to the side is absurd. They’re still there. What can, and should, be expected when a team is formed is for the collective ego of the team to be prioritized above that of each individual. This is the charge of the leader. We must remain focused and adamant with our commitment to the team first. The individual is important, but always secondary to the team. As leaders, we should not be trying to blend the egos of the individual, rather we should facilitate a shared ego all team members will embrace. The shared ego of the team far exceeds that of the individual. A shared ego also creates a shared identity that cements the importance of the team. REAL TALK - Action Steps Blending the team is difficult primarily because of all the egos involved. Here are a few ideas to help create a shared ego the whole team will benefit from.
On a bigger scale, this applies to our view of the world. The world is our team. We all play a vital role. No one is more important than anyone else. And, we really are in this together. What if our ego were shared? What if we thought about us before me? For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  The 'Right School'You know the ‘old school’ way, right? How would you describe it?
Tough? Challenging? Relentless? Adversity filled? Too bent on the negative, maybe? Unwilling to change? Expecting too much time? Too much commitment? Before we get too consumed with passing off the old, gruff coach that seems so angry at the world, perhaps we should consider the wake he has left. Not the wins, though those are typically significant, but the scores of former players that come to his defense. We should also consider the upstanding human beings that credit that old, gruff coach with becoming the husband and father they now are. It’s funny how consumed we are with the future, while quickly discounting the very behaviors that will truly benefit the future we hope for. Today we think of the ‘old school’ leaders as being out of touch with the future because they’re stuck in the past. The truth is, they’re the only leaders that really do care about the future. We’ve been hogwashed (there’s an old school word for you) to believe that feeling better now will help you perform better later. New-age leadership wants to kill us with kindness, making sure we feel good in the moment - often at the expense of the future. Leaders with an ‘old school’ mentality don’t drink that juice. Why Should We Care? I’m certainly not saying that everything associated with the ‘old school’ approach to leading is wonderful and shouldn’t be up for debate. However, there are some things that are being lost in the transition to new age coaching that are significant concerns. Here’s a list of the top five things. 1. Avoiding adversity Society is on a mission to remove challenges and adversity for people. Stop it. It’s not good for them. Facing and overcoming obstacles is good for us and those we lead. ‘Old school’ coaches know this and not only lean into when it comes around, but oftentimes they actively seek it. 2. Softening critical feedback In an effort to preserve feelings and confidence, leaders now often soften their message of critical feedback so much, the person receiving the feedback completely loses his view of the standard. Clarity is critical. Just say it, clearly and directly. You never have to wonder where you stand and what you need to do better with an ‘old school’ coach. They make sure it’s crystal clear. 3. Prioritizing the individual over the team In an era of trainers and job hopping, fewer and fewer people prioritize the team. If there is anything that all ‘old school’ leaders have in common, it’s that the team comes before the individual. Always. The new movement likes to act as if the individual and team are equally important - that we can have our cake and eat it too. 4. Looking for the minimum amount of work Nowadays it seems as if people are looking to do the least amount of work possible to sustain the current level of performance. ‘Old school’ leaders don’t even consider work load, they simply believe that it takes what it takes. There is no barometer for the amount of work required, there is just what is required. 5. Compromising the little things Punctuality is the first thing that comes to mind. It’s a non-negotiable for the ‘old school’ leaders. Early is on time and on time is late. Of course, it doesn’t end there. Many details have become more optional than required. We always get what we accept as a leader and what is accepted is certainly different between the ‘old school’ and new age mindsets. REAL TALK - Action Steps I’m not here to act like everything used to be great in the good ‘ol days and everything new is soft and useless. I don’t think that’s the case at all. Both have contributions to make to excellent leadership. Here are a few of the most important combinations:
Rather than thinking about the two camps of ‘new school’ and ‘old school’, we should be thinking of only one school: ‘right school’. And, ‘old school’ has a lot more in common with the ‘right school’ than most want to give it credit for. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
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