 Gritty FactsI love Brene Brown’s idea of Gritty Faith and Gritty Facts. The gist of it is that we need to approach challenges and obstacles with an unwavering resolve and confidence (Gritty Faith) while also confronting the brutal reality of the situation (Gritty Facts).
In my opinion, the societal movement to avoid conflict and not hurt anyone’s feelings has made the Gritty Facts part … we’ll say elusive. It’s commonplace to bring up the obvious problem, everyone does that. We’ll have meetings about it, spend an inordinate amount of time discussing and complaining about it, just to propose a simple solution to a simpler problem. Problem solved, boxed checked. Few teams spend the time to surface the root of the problem, reflect and evaluate their individual role in the issue, then come together to find a solution that doesn’t just solve the problem but moves the team and organization forward all together. I find the biggest problem not to be finding the solution, but asking the question in the first place. This is especially true when things are going well. If we’re winning, meeting our goals, everything must be going well right? The Gritty Facts are, we’re killing it! Not necessarily so. Why Should We Care? Following football, basketball, and baseball games growing up I would always ride home with my dad. He coached several of the teams I played on, but not all of them. Dad is a man of few words and rarely offers his opinion ... unless you ask. Now, if you ask, you’re going to get the truth. It’s not going to be filtered or softened. It’s not going to account for how you felt that day or what your ego might want to hear. You’re getting the Gritty Facts. I figured that out pretty quickly and would save the “How’d you think I played, Dad?” question for games I was confident dad’s feedback would boost my confidence. Afterall, we all want our dad to say how great he thought we played, right? I miscalculated one game. After a basketball practice in which I thought I played pretty well, I clearly remember my dad’s assessment being quite different. Following my search for praise, he listed off a myriad of mistakes and lapses in focus and effort that were unacceptable in his mind. Of course, my natural response was to defend them - in my head of course, not outloud. When we arrived home mom could tell that I was upset. I’m sure the not-so-subtle dropping of my bag and closing of my door tipped her off. Mom is like the Gritty Faith angel. She thinks we can do anything, and she never hesitates to tell us so. She is the constant dealer of hope. When she came into my room she did the normal mom stuff like asking me how practice was and expecting an answer of more than a single word. Then, she smiled, patted me on the back and said “Your dad loves you. That’s why he tells you the truth. If you don’t want the truth from him, don’t ask.” And she got up and walked out of the room. I think we all need to be more willing to ask … AND LISTEN to the Gritty Facts. REAL TALK - Action Steps It’s not easy to open yourself up for critical feedback, but nothing good is easy. We need to find ways to establish processes that now only allow the Gritty Facts to surface, but encourage them. Here are a few ideas that might help.
Honesty is love. We need to embrace this fact. Sure it may hurt our feelings at the moment. Sure it may embarrass us or make us angry. The willingness to see the long term benefit and actively embracing the Gritty Facts is one of the trademarks of excellence. Seek it more. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!
0 Comments
 Follow To LeadLike most young boys, I loved helping my dad. It didn’t really matter if he was working on a car, splitting wood, or fixing something in the house. I loved it. Of course, my role was always the same. I was the gopher. Whatever dad needed that wasn’t within reach, that’s when my services came in.
A Phillips screwdriver? I would bring three to make sure one of them was right. More gas for the chainsaw? I would drag the can to him if I couldn’t carry it. Flipping an electric breaker? I would close my eyes and hope I didn’t get shocked every time. Whatever dad needed, I was willing to do. This is where leadership starts … with following. We all follow before we lead. Following is our introduction to serving. It’s where we find out how good it feels to help someone else. It lays the foundation for the desire to contribute to something bigger than yourself. Why Should We Care? Yet, as soon as we get a taste of leadership we stop talking about following and focus solely on leading. As a matter of fact, in some circles, following becomes a derogatory label. Think about that. The very thing that taught us the value of helping, serving, is viewed by some as a negative. A lack of motivation and purpose or purpose and direction are all used as the reason someone has gone ‘wrong’ and is ‘just’ a follower. It’s ridiculous when you really examine it. If excellence, performing at our highest level, is the objective, then we should all be leading and following. It’s not an either, or. It’s an AND. Depending on the strengths and weaknesses of the team, the most effective leaders are fluid in their movement between leading and following. A willingness to follow as the leader is also the mark of humility for a leader, an attribute that is more appealing than charisma or power. By choosing to follow, we can empower and uplift our team members without ever spending a dime or saying a word. REAL TALK - Action Steps Striking a balance of leading and following is positive for anyone, not just leaders. There is a definite tendency in leadership to dismiss the need to continue following. Here are a few ideas to maintain the balance.
The old adage of “be a leader, not a follower” needs to be retired. We all need to lead and we all need to follow. What separates the great leaders is the ability to know when to do each. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Courageous & KindPart of my prayer every morning is that my kids will be courageous AND kind. I’m not sure I’ve ever read that or even said it often in everyday conversation, yet it keeps showing up in my head every morning.
It’s tough though, isn’t it? Courage is cool. We celebrate the arrogant confidence of the rising executive that takes measured risks to elevate his place in the company. We laud after the athlete that has the guts to take the game winning shot. Kindness is nice. We say please and thank you. We hold the door open. We like kind people. This is how society sees it, anyway. It’s not how I see it. Why Should We Care? To me, courage is vulnerability. It’s knowing you will be out of your comfort zone and going for it anyway. It’s being unsure, but giving it your absolute best effort regardless. Courage is owning your mistakes. It’s making sacrifices for others that can never be repaid. Kindness is choosing others over ourselves. It’s seeking to understand another person’s story before we create one for them. It’s giving over receiving. Kindness meets you where you are, no matter how far that is from where I am. It’s asking how you are, and listening to the answer. Courage without kindness is pretty common. People steamrolling over those in their peripheral areas with no concern for anyone but themselves is what the competitive world is all about. In these situations courage begins to look like unwavering self-belief, or confidence. However, it soon morphs into pushing others down as a means to appear elevated. Kindness without courage is also common. People all over the world are kind when it’s convenient, when it doesn’t conflict with societal norms. There’s nothing special about that. The combination of courage and kindness leads to another level that most don’t know exists. Courage and kindness embrace adversity while dispelling comparison. Together they allow us to see the good in people at their darkest times. They give us the persistence to continue, knowing that we aren’t what we used to be or what we’re going to be. Courage and kindness is the combination that lays the foundation of excellence in our lives. REAL TALK - Action Steps Becoming more courageous and kind is difficult but here are a few ideas to get you started.
Courage and kindness are a rare combination. It attracts people to you and elevates your team. The combination is a mix all leaders should be pursuing. Go ahead and throw it in that prayer tomorrow morning. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Struggle RevealsWhen you squeeze an orange, you expect to get orange juice. Seems like a reasonable assumption. You don’t squeeze an orange and hope for apple juice or lemonade. You expect orange juice.
The good news is, that’s what you get - orange juice. The bad news is, that’s what you get - the real thing. In society it’s the norm to walk around in a facade, pretending. Make-up on, hair done up, clothes nice and pressed - all to make sure we look the part. The extent we go to convince others that we have it together and are in control of our lives is mind boggling. From the cars we drive to the shoes we wear, the primary driver for most people is the answer to the question - what will others think? Social media is one of the biggest culprits of this mindset. The overwhelming majority of social media is used as a vain effort to impress others. We’re doing our best to look the part of the orange. Why Should We Care? Then struggle and adversity latch on and start squeezing. And the facade is over. There is no more pretending. Struggle and adversity always point to the truth. They reveal what the make-up, fancy hair, and designer clothes had been covering up. They have no interest in the props your last Insta post got you. So, when squeezed, what everyone thought to be an orange is now being exposed for whatever it is. The real juice will flow. There’s no faking it. That’s the beauty of adversity - it always reveals. The work to become authentic is difficult, which is why so few people truly embrace it. Yet, without it, we ourselves are unsure of the juice we’ll release when squeezed. The most interesting aspect of struggle to me is that we are drawn to hide it in ourselves, yet value and appreciate it in others. We love the longshot stories and comeback heroes that found excellence by overcoming numerous obstacles. It’s an odd relationship. REAL TALK - Action Steps Here are a few ideas to help you be more aware and intentional in those moments of adversity and struggle. They may seem simple, but they’re not easy.
Struggle is a beautiful thing. We should embrace it more than we do. It not only reveals our true self to others, but to ourselves too. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
September 2023
Categories |
RSS Feed