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bcg blog

6/25/2020

How Big Is Your US?

I once saw a tally for two professional athletes following their respective championship game performances based solely on the number of times each athlete said "we" or "I" in the interview.
Player A       Player B
We - 14      We - 0
I - 0          I - 17

Note, both players won championships. Both players were the MVP of the final series for their team. Whose team would you want to play on? Who do you want as a teammate? As your leader?

To some it doesn’t matter - ‘as long as you get the job done’. Aside from cheating, most would agree. However, I believe the process, the how, is more important than the actual accomplishment.

It’s the process that led Player A’s team to two more consecutive championships and Player B’s team to disband and seek better chemistry and culture elsewhere.

Why Should We Care?
The first fact we must acknowledge is that something like the interview above is a manifestation of deeper thoughts and beliefs. The words we choose, especially when we don’t have time to intentionally pick them, is a snapshot into our true beliefs. And those beliefs are the essence of our attitude towards our lives and our teams. Sure we can camouflage them at times, but our actions will ultimately always be the byproduct of our beliefs.

So, the question becomes - how big is your circle of care? At the center of everyone’s circle is the most important person in the world to you … you! There is no arguing it. We are all selfish, even though most of us work very hard every day to lessen our natural tendency to care about ourselves more than we care about others. But beyond that center circle, very little is locked in. For most people, your family is next. Then, maybe your hometown, village, or even state.

The same circle of care translates to your team. We are all conditioned to think about our team ourselves first. This is why the biggest threat to any team is always selfishness. And for some, their circle of care at work ends there. As leaders, this should never be the case. We must intentionally broaden our circle of care and choose words and actions that model this for those we lead.

Here are a few ideas to help you, and those you lead, to recognize your circle of care and expand your rings.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Here are few exercises or activities that can help improve your awareness, and your willingness to express your care for others.

Me Too (http://www.bluecollargrit.com/resources.html)
- We naturally do this when we meet a new person. Think about the last time you met someone for the first time. You likely began asking questions seeking common ground, which you could connect over: From Ohio? Me too! Have a dog? Me too! Wear socks? Me too! Yet, for some reason, when we find ourselves on teams we suddenly begin looking for all the things different about those around us. This activity is simply designed to help us see that we often have much more in common than we realize.
The Five Love Languages (https://www.5lovelanguages.com/)
- I’ve referenced Gary Chapman’s before, but it is so good for increasing awareness of what communicates love and caring for yourself and others. Here, we want to think about the Love Languages of those around us. Then be intentional about sharing our appreciation for them in a language they best understand.

Your Circle of Care
- Create your own circle of care. Draw concentric circles (like a dart board) and put “Me” at the center. Then, work your way out considering who you care the most about. It will be helpful to think about groups rather than individuals. Continue working your way out until - and this is important - your actions stop showing you care. For example, I like to think I care about the lack of clean drinking water in 3rd world countries, but currently I don’t do anything to show I care about that - donate money, volunteer to serve, etc. so I can’t say I care because there is no action being taken on my part.

It’s appealing to us to say we care about everyone, but it’s simply not true. We may want what’s best for people, but actually to care - to take action - is reserved for select groups for most of us. The question is how big is that group for you? Where does it stop? And, how can we make it bigger?

In the current times, we would all benefit from expanding our us.
For most, it’s not that we don’t care. It’s that we don’t show it.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com.
We would love to know how we could help!

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bcg blog

6/18/2020

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Increasing Belonging On Your Team

What team are you on? How do you know?

We wear the same uniform. We work in the same building. We sit in the same meetings.

Too often this is about where the connection with our team begins and ends. This is unfortunate for many reasons, but the most significant one is that it robs people of one of the greatest feelings in the world - that of being on a team. Working, striving side by side with others that have shared and suffered along with you in pursuit of a goal that is impossible to alone but you are about to accomplish as a result of your team … It’s one of the most exhilarating and fulfilling experiences in life.

Yet, we struggle so much to get it right because we aren’t intentional about building it. Sure we work hard to become competent in our craft and find the right job, but we give our team dynamics to chance - hoping for the best.

There is a better way and it’s rooted in our communication.

Why Should We Care?
Your words shape the culture of your team and organization. How you talk to each other and what you say to each other is important. And yes, something as simple as your pronouns make a difference - we v me, us v them.

Clearly great performances by incredibly talented individuals can still result in a moment of success, even several moments. But, long-term, sustained success is only possible by honoring the process of excellence. And one of the most important areas of this process is communication.

Our tone, our message, our body language - all carry significant weight as leaders. Whether a professional athlete says “we” or “me” will certainly be noticed by his or her team, but more importantly the actions of that leader will almost always reflect that word choice. And it’s these actions that truly define the culture of your organization.

The ability to connect and talk with people is innate in some leaders. They naturally craft messages that create a sense of teamwork and unity, while others approach achievement from a more individualistic mindset. The latter is not necessarily bad, but leaders drawn to this type of motivation must be very intentional with their messaging and communication.

Here are a few subtle areas we could all improve our communication within our team.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
The concepts below are critical to successful communication within a team. Some leaders are naturally strong in each area, while others of us must work at them a little harder. Nonetheless, we all need to become knowledgeable and proficient in order to help our teams reach their potential.

Belonging Cues (Daniel Coyle - http://danielcoyle.com/)
- First and foremost, belonging cues show others they are important. They are words and actions that convey energy, personalization, and a shared future. Most of us have these randomly scattered throughout our organization’s culture, but very few cultures approach belonging cues intentionally and with the importance they deserve. They help us answer the most primitive question there is for any group, a question we are constantly checking on for an answer - are we safe here? And we need to know the answer over and over, day after day. It’s not a one shot deal.

Giving Feedback - (Daniel Coyle - http://danielcoyle.com/)

In order to be effective, all feedback should consist of letting the person know:
- I believe you can reach those standards
- This group is special - we have high standards here.
- You are part of this group.
The only useful reason for feedback is to help the teammate modify, or continue, their behavior and move closer to the standards of the group. If that is truly the goal, then all 3 of these points should be intentionally touched on consistently.

Listening (Julian Treasure - https://www.juliantreasure.com/)

In the age of technology we live in, listening is not something that comes natural. If we want our teams and leaders to be effective in communication, we must help them understand how to be the best listeners they can be. The acronym below has helped our students move towards being more effective listeners.
- Receive - look at the person speaking, pay attention
- Appreciate - nod your head, give small verbals, lean forward
- Summarize - use the word “so” to recap
- Ask - ask follow-up questions
Listening is far more than gathering information. The best listeners increase the speaker's desire to share.

100/0 Principle (Al Ritter - https://youtu.be/HdJkk_fOJPY)
- This is a simple concept, but extremely difficult to execute - like most great ideas. The 100/0 Principle is an approach to relationships in which you take 100% responsibility for the relationship and expect nothing, 0%, in return. Think give, not take - always.

A common coaching phrase in basketball around communication is ELO - Early, Loud, and Often. It’s a great acronym for athletic arenas, but could carry just as much impact in the corporate world. We need to be communicating vision and standards with our team members as soon as we get the opportunity - Early. We need to make sure our message is crystal clear, with no questions, no distractions, no obstacles - LOUD. And we need to say it and show it over and over and over again - OFTEN.

Your words and your actions are the only things you can use to lead.
In order to increase the sense of belonging on your team, you must be intentional about both.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com.
We would love to know how we could help!

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bcg blog

6/11/2020

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Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda - Escaping the 'What If' Trap

Dogs are cool, aren’t they? They’re always happy to see you, never judge you, and think all your weird idiosyncrasies are just normal behavior. They’re just as happy with a new bone wrapped up and given as a present as they are with a tiny table scrap. And they’re excited when you return home regardless of whether you went shopping for five hours or walked out to the mailbox to grab the mail. They are experts in one skill we all need to become masters at, staying present.

Most people are consumed by thoughts of ‘what if’. What if I would’ve taken that job in San Francisco? I could’ve … What if I would’ve gotten that promotion? … I should be the one with that new corner office. What if he would’ve just said no … we would be so happy still.

Maybe. Maybe not.

And the more time you spend having the thoughts above, the more my bet leans towards maybe not.

Why Should We Care?

Well, one reason we should all care is because life is only lived in the present. I’m sure you’ve heard it hundreds of times - you can’t do anything about the past, it already happened; and you can’t do anything about the future, it hasn’t happened yet; the only thing you can control is the now - the present. Easy to say, but very very difficult to consistently do. But before we get into a few ways to be more present, let’s talk about why it’s such an important habit to develop.

Almost all of our negative emotions and feelings are generated in our time spent dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Think about it: anger - a feeling based on past frustration; fear - a feeling based on future concerns; sadness - a feeling based in past experiences; apathy - a feeling based on the uselessness of future actions. None of these emotions are present-centered because they don’t exist in the moment. The moment is angry, fearful, sad, or apathetic. The moment is just the moment. It just is.

Developing some habits around creating and maintaining the self-awareness to stay present is essential in leadership. Of course, the eagle view of the big picture is important and has times when it should be the primary focus; and the mouse view of the day to day operations and tine details is important and requires periods of focus too. Nonetheless, it is vital in our role as a leader to stay present, to be where our feet are.

REAL TALK - Action Steps

Here are a few ways we can become more effective as leaders by being present:

1. Meditate - Of course, this is the first one listed because it’s proven over and over to a common habit of the most successful, and present, people in the world. The key to understanding meditation isn’t choosing the right app, sitting the proper way on your mat, or lighting the right candles - it’s realizing that meditation is simply a tool for developing mindfulness. Just as a hammer is the best tool for pounding a nail into a board, meditation is proven to be the best tool for becoming more mindful. And it is mindfulness, and self-awareness, that we are after here, not simply meditation. Without an awareness of what we are thinking or what pulls at our thoughts we have no ability to stay present. We are the mercy of the wind.

2. Breath - Slow, calm, deep breaths with a focus on the air entering and leaving your body. Breathing calms and centers us. It makes us present. What is more central to the moment than a breath? Exactly, nothing. That’s what makes it such a powerful tool for being present

3. Coach Feeling - This is a far fetch for some, but has the potential to have lasting, long-term impact on the people you lead. Ask questions and give cues that lead the team member to focusing on how something feels. For example, if I’m working with a player on shooting a basketball, unprompted they will be focused on one thing - making the shot. Making or missing the shot is a future result of a present action. It does a shooter absolutely no good to think about that potential result. So, as a coach, I may ask her to focus on feeling their last two fingers leaving the basketball or the feeling of their elbow lifting like a rocket. That focus on feeling brings them to the present and relieves them of the potential negative emotions of the future. A difficult adjustment for many coaches and leaders to make, but such a more powerful approach because of the mindfulness you are building in the individual.

Mindfulness is the goal. It’s not necessarily wrong to be thinking about the past or the present, but it doesn’t help us lead in the moment. Too often leaders are handcuffed by the inability to release the reality of the past or embrace the unknown of the future. At our best, we are present for those we lead, and for ourselves.

And that’s exactly why we love our dogs so much - they’re always present.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com.
We would love to know how we could help!

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bcg blog

6/11/2020

0 Comments

Love = Action

We can’t simply believe it. Silence is support.
We can’t simply say it. Passivity is acceptance.
We must act. “Action expresses priority.” (Gandhi)

Love is helping your brother or sister move their ladder to the fruitful side of the tree so they can share in the abundance. We are what our actions say we are. We can change orders and laws, make decrees and proclimations - and all are vitally important, but every change is rooted in the daily choices we make.

Acknowledge we all need to learn
Listen
Act

You change the world one relationship at a time.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com.
We would love to know how we could help!

0 Comments

bcg blog

How Big Is Your US?

bcg blog

Increasing Belonging On Your Team

bcg blog

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda - Escaping the 'What If' Trap

bcg blog

Love = Action

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How Big Is Your US?

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda - Escaping the 'What If' Trap

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