 It's Just DataIt seems regret is a master at mustering up pain. Few experiences pass by without some form of regret creeping in. From as harmless as regretting our decision to not pack the night before a trip to as heartbreaking as allowing our ego to keep us from saying goodbye to a loved one we never get to see again; regret is a reality we all deal with.
Some just do it much better than others. No one is immune to regret. We all experience things we ‘wish’ we would’ve done. And, occasionally, we will regret things we did do. Though, the regrets of omission seem to far out number the regrets of commission. So, what is it that allows some to move forward with seemingly no acknowledgement of regret while others are practically crippled by it? The answer is simple, yet incredibly difficult. Easy to identify, tough to execute. Why Should We Care? Regrets are always tied to a desired outcome, usually one we didn’t achieve, get, or conquer. The moment we realize we won’t reach a specific, tangible result we are longing for, the first place we turn is to regret. The little voice inside us starts judging every step we took along the way to see what could’ve led to this seeming failure. We leave no stone unturned until we are fully consumed by the potential of what could’ve been. Those that handle regret well, don’t even acknowledge it as regret. They tend to view it for what it actually is - just data. That perspective, however, is only possible with a shift to an identity tied to growth rather than achievement. As long as achievement is the barometer, regrets will rule. When growth begins to be the focus, regrets become simple data points. Growth is process-oriented, tied to results and achievement only through the execution of the chosen process. If the process doesn’t yield the desired results, we simply modify the process. That’s it. No excuses needed. We knew from the start that the process would never be perfect and would require persistent care and massaging. A seeming failure, that could cause serious regret, now simply becomes information that gets you one step closer to a better process. REAL TALK - Action Steps This all may sound obvious, but it’s not. We get so consumed in striving and achieving that we cling to regrets and mistakes, or worse yet, try to hide them all together. The freedom that comes from a commitment to the process is liberating. Here are a few ideas to help you find that freedom.
The blueprint for excellence isn’t nearly as sexy as most would want it to be. Those that closing in on excellence realize the emotional nature of regret and consistently cling to the indifferent nature of simple data each outcome provides. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!
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 True CompetitorsIt has nothing to do with the inevitable comparison most want to draw from competition. It has nothing to do with attaining some worthless trophy awarded to the ‘winner’. And, it has nothing to do with who I am competing against. It’s simply a test. And, I love to be tested.
Comparison is for the greedy and ignorant. At one moment it claims superiority over the recent victim, while in the next it realizes time holds for no one. So, the glory of today’s victory is certain to be met with tomorrow’s failure. No more escapable than death itself, comparison is destined to leave us disappointed and insufficient. Competition is void of comparison. The target in competition, for most, has been completely distorted. In part due to the feigned claims to the importance of unselfishness, sportsmanship, and teamwork. We love to hang signs, create campaigns, and sing the praises of those that abide by such tennants yet when the time comes to recognize our best we defer to the easiest metrics - earnings, salary, or points. Competition honors what you value. The competition does not matter. It’s not arrogance. It’s not entitlement. It’s the truth. Competition is about you, and you alone. What you take from competition is your choice. You decide how you respond in the moments of adversity. You choose your response to success and failure. You determine how you will use each aspect of competition to better yourself. Competition is a personal journey. Why Should We Care? The concept of competition has become an ego-driven, self-proclaiming testament to one’s own talents and abilities. Rather than a source of feedback and guidance for improvement, it has become a misguided source of power. In society’s mind it clearly reads, “I’m better than you.” or “You’re better than me.” This struggle of superiority isn’t what true competition is about at all. True competition is about the strain, the struggle, and the eventual growth. Notice I said, eventual growth. The concept of delayed gratification has been all but lost in the eyes of modern competition. According to it, we are simply whatever our latest result says we are. That couldn’t be further from the truth. True competition pays homage to the process, not the result. It’s literally ego-less. It doesn’t brag or boast. It just puts its head down and works. When true competitors take a second to look up, it’s not to see where others are but where they, themselves, are. They realize the last result is nothing more than a blip on the screen giving them feedback before the next one. Those aspiring to truly compete at their optimal level would be wise to begin considering each competition as valuable data to prepare them for their next challenge - nothing more, nothing less. REAL TALK - Action Steps Competition often boxed into simply sports or business, but true competitors realize they are always competing since the competition is with themselves. Here are a few of the biggest hurdles society clings to that impede true competition.
True competitors are passionate and growth-minded. They’re free and joyful, humble and devoted. The time of day, venue, opponent, and score are irrelevant. They’re rare, but when you see one - you know it. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Attract Instead of PromoteWe are in an era in which promotion is king. In the eye of society quality, execution, and sustenance have become secondary to grand proclamations, flashy highlights, and clever hashtags. It’s all around us in all walks of life.
Social media is clearly a major player, providing virtually everyone with a voice in the promotion game. Pretty much any idea will find supporters. It doesn’t need to be effective, impactful, or even accurate. It just needs to be said, or posted in the case of social media. Promoters pull on the hope strings of their audience. And, man, does hope ever draw us in. The hope to be better, to be in the presence of greatness, to experience something few others can, to be first, to be special. Promoters are experts at selling us what we want, and think we need. Promoters come in all shapes and sizes. And, I’m sure there are many out there with pure intent and are great at bringing awareness to something exceptional. Unfortunately, that’s not my typical experience. I often see this form of marketing take the form of self-promotion. It’s rarely about others and is almost always about something only they can provide. The only message I receive is one of arrogance and self-importance. This isn’t to say we can’t share great things, that could help others. It is saying there is a better way to do it. Why Should We Care? I realize there will always be opportunities to promote yourself, your team, and your business. And, I realize some of it is necessary to share what you, or your team, can provide to others. The problem isn’t in the promotion itself, it’s when the promotion becomes the priority. Our focus as leaders should be to attract, not promote. When we are engulfed in the work and the process of serving, we attract others looking for the same things we are. These are our people, the ones that share our mission. The ones brought to us through promotion may eventually get on board, but few of them are actively looking for it. And, there will undoubtedly be some brought in by the promotion that later decide the mission of the group is not for them. Here’s the thing about people and teams that attract others though, they don’t really know they are until people start showing up. It was never their goal, or even part of why they do what they do. It’s their commitment to the cause that attracts others, not a commercial, special, or highlight. Also, a lack of self-promotion does not indicate a lack of self-confidence. We can share what we do in a way that is both egoless and poignant. We can serve others without posting a list of all the people we’ve helped. We can operate in full belief and conviction to our purpose without pretending that what we do is so much more important than what others do. REAL TALK - Action Steps As we consider the value of doing things that will attract others rather than spending our time trying to promote ourselves, here are a few important things to consider.
A focus on attraction looks like a full commitment to our purpose and the process needed to execute it. Prioritizing promotion dilutes our purpose and compromises our process, leaving us with potentially more interest and certainly less fulfillment. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Checking the ProcessWe’ve heard the phrase hundreds of times in our lives. We even agreed with it before really knowing what it meant. The simplicity of the idea is alluring but the execution of the message is daunting. The phrase?
“Trust the process.” Of course, of course - trust the process. Don’t worry about the results. Don’t get tied up into what other people think. Don’t become distracted by setbacks. Just trust the process. That’s pretty easy to say when you get what you want. But, what about when you don’t achieve your goals? Or, when you don’t succeed? What about when your process sucks? Still trust it? Yes and no. Why Should We Care? If you are baking cookies and they aren’t sweet enough, you add more sugar. Being a slave to the recipe doesn’t make you disciplined. It makes you a bad baker. The same is true in the pursuit of excellence. In preparation to do virtually anything, we make a plan to execute the mission. From going to the movies with our family to starting a new business with a colleague, we formulate a plan to bring this idea to fruition. Sometimes our plans work brilliantly and sometimes they fail miserably. Refusing to change plans that are not effective is not trusting the process. It’s poor leadership. So, we change it in an attempt to move closer to the outcome we desire. As we tweak the process and begin moving closer and closer to the desired result, we begin to realize the process may not be what we thought it was. Many people confuse the process with the operation. The operation is the execution of the plan. It’s what we do - how much sugar we put in, the order in which we make the sandwich, or the drills we do in practice each day. The process is a layer up from the operation. The process isn’t what you do, it’s how you do it. Not only that, but our process is practically universal. It can be applied to just about anything we do. It’s not specific to one area, or happening, in our lives. That is not to say that we never change our process, but it is to say that the quality of our process is not tied to the result of a single situation. Those pursuing excellence adjust their process not on the emotion of a single failure, but on the curiosity of improvement. REAL TALK - Action Steps Trusting the process is not something to embrace blindly. We need to understand ourselves and know who we are at our core before committing to a process we can trust. Here are a few ideas to keep in mind when considering your process.
Trusting the process is all about how we do what we do. It’s not what we are doing or the result we get from it. The process is the application of our core values in our daily lives. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Tournament LentEach season as we begin tournament play, we have a team meeting designated to something we call ‘tournament lent’. Lent is the religious observance of the 40 days Jesus spent fasting in the desert prior to beginning his public ministry. Lent represents discipline and sacrifice.
Our tournament lent discussion centers on one question: what are you willing to give up for the team? It’s a central question we all must ask ourselves. The degree to which we are willing to sacrifice determines our commitment level to anything. Spoken, or unspoken, everyone within our team knows what they are, and are not, willing to sacrifice. In anything we do, we are always limited by one thing: what we are willing to sacrifice. It’s not what we want, not what we dream about, and not even what we work for that we accomplish. It’s always a matter of what we are willing to give up. Sometimes it’s our time. Sometimes it’s our money. Sometimes it’s our ego. But, rest assured nothing is free. Nothing. Why Should We Care? What our players are willing to give up is always telling to the commitment level of the group. This year, one of our seniors went first and gave up his cell phone for the time we are in the tournament which could be up to a month. He cited all the time he wastes on his phone scrolling and how distracting that is. He talked about his desire to be more present with his teammates and how much he cherishes the time they have remaining together. He wants to use his newly claimed time to watch more film, prepare for games, and interact with his family and team. Clearly, his commitment is strong. The level of this commitment does not go unnoticed by teammates. Whether we realize it or not, we are constantly communicating our commitment to the team through the sacrifices we are willing to make. This is precisely why tardiness or absences are so damaging to a team. It’s not because of the lack of attendance, it’s the message that what we are doing isn’t really that important. I’m not willing to sacrifice my time for our time. As much as this applies to our teams, it’s just as applicable to us as individuals. We make commitments to ourselves all the time that we break. Each time we compromise our word to ourselves we are selling our own stock. The sacrifices we choose to make in our lives are clear indications of our priorities. They are much more telling than what we dream of or even say. Each day we make choices in which we are prioritizing one thing over another. We think we are choosing what we want, but it’s more accurate to think of it as choosing what we are willing to do without. REAL TALK - Action Steps The idea behind tournament lent is to allow our guys to re-evaluate their commitment to our season then pledge to sacrifice something they enjoy to symbolize their commitment. It’s not perfect, but it does provide several opportunities to better understand the connection between what we want and what we are willing to sacrifice. Here are a few things we try to address each season.
Tournament lent is our way of highlighting the connection between what we want and what we are willing to sacrifice for. The reality is that we don’t get what we want. We get what we are willing to sacrifice for - nothing more and nothing less. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Competitive EnduranceIn athletics there is a belief in the idea of certain people being ‘gamers’. ‘Gamers’ are players who seem to raise their level of performance in games. There is an unspoken undertone to the idea of a ‘gamer’ conveying a lack of work or preparation.
I’ve found one of two things to be true. Either the player has invested the time, energy, and effort to perform in those moments or he is consistently inconsistent yet garners the tag of a gamer for those flashes of brightness. If he hasn’t put in the work, the inconsistency will show it. Talent will flash brightly for moments but won’t persist without the foundation of work. Confidence in one’s self will help, but can’t make up for what isn’t truly there. It always comes back to the work. If he’s put in the work, few people consider him a 'gamer'. A lot of other adjectives may apply, but 'gamer' isn’t typically one of them. It would be disrespectful to a worker to be called a 'gamer'. It trivializes all the progress between games. For workers, the game is simply a test, not the objective. Becoming is the objective. Not so much to someone that fancies himself a 'gamer'. Why Should We Care? The work never lies. Never. It’s just a matter of when. This is where competitive endurance becomes a factor. Are you willing to persist until? That’s the question. For most, the answer is no. If we are only willing to compete when things go our way, or when we feel good, we’re just not very good. The days when the stars align, we may be brilliant. But, those random great performances are overshadowed by our glaring inconsistency and the fact that no one can truly count on us. Then we have the legion of mediocrity. As lovers of the comfort mediocrity provides, we hesitate to stretch ourselves too much. However, we do see the value in fitting in and being part of a group so we will make reasonable sacrifices and exit our comfort zone when necessary. Neither of these groups touch competitive endurance. Competitive endurance does not ensure great performance. It doesn’t guarantee the results we want. Competitive endurance means we never waiver in our commitment to the process, to what we do. When we embrace competitive endurance we accept the reality of miniscule progress. And, we’re relentless in our focus on that progress. Frustrations and disappointments certainly occur, but they are nothing more than parts of the process to be experienced, pushed past, and reflected on for growth. REAL TALK - Action Steps Competitive endurance is the life blood of persistence. Our willingness to continue competing in all circumstances, all environments, and in the face of countless plausible excuses will define our excellence or lack thereof. Here are a few ideas of maintaining yours.
If running a marathon were competitive endurance, those only willing to compete when they feel good could be represented by a walk to the fridge. They are not remotely close to the same things. Excellence is a marathon. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Win or Go HomeWinning matters, or should I say striving matters.
I know I’ve talked at lengths about how much more important the process is than the outcome. Although the emphasis on winning may sound counterintuitive, hear me out on this. It’s an important aspect of excellence that is often ignored. Teams are created to do something individuals are unable to do on their own. When we are competing within our team, the goal should be to help the team perform at its very best. The primary competitor isn’t the opponent, it’s ourselves. How far can we push and stretch ourselves in that moment? This is the competition. It is personal and collective. The competition is always internal, against ourselves, not against an opponent. The opponent is important, however. They provide friction that highlights and pushes our boundaries. This is where winning becomes important. Striving to win thrusts us out of our comfort zone, into a whole new arena of growth. The word strive is important. ‘Try’ is not enough. Why Should We Care? Strive means ‘to make great efforts to achieve or obtain something; to struggle or fight vigorously’. The pursuit of winning demands striving. And, it’s the striving that provides the growth and fulfillment we are all pursuing. It seems obvious that everyone is trying to win, which is generally true. Most people engaged in any competition want, and try, to win. As a matter of fact, there’s a growing number of people completely comfortable with the mediocrity of simply trying. For some, it’s become enough to try. Here’s the problem with trying: it ain’t striving. If we’re committed to trying we’ll show up, we’ll work about as hard as the people around us, we’ll win some and we’ll lose some. We’ll listen to the comforts of those around us when we fail, awarding us with half-hearted praise like ‘at least you tried’. Then, at some point, we’ll look in the mirror and know the truth. We left something on the table. We had more to give that we chose not to. We decided our comfort was more important than what the challenge required. We decided to try rather than strive. If we’re committed to striving we do more than show up, we attack opportunity in front of us. We don’t consider how hard the people around us are working, we do whatever is necessary to complete the task in front of us. We don’t hear the comforts or criticisms from those outside our arena, we’re too busy pursuing our best. Then, when we look in the mirror, we know the truth. The table is clear, there is nothing left to give. We chose our goals over our comfort, our team over ourselves. Striving produces fulfillment. REAL TALK - Action Steps I’m not supporting a win at all cost approach. But, I am suggesting that the willingness to do whatever it takes to win separates us now more than ever. Here are a few thoughts on maintaining perspective in your striving.
The willingness, and desire, to do what it takes to win is a talent. The constant strain of striving is not something many are willing to consistently choose. But, what an advantage for those that do. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Follow My LeadA quick Google search on the two topics sets this discussion up perfectly. Searching for books on “leadership” approximately 1.3 million results are found. A search for books on “followers” produces only 300 million. That’s about one fourth of the leadership results.
It’s interesting because there is no leadership without people to lead. And, it seems, most leaders are leading numerous people, not just one. So, why such a difference in the interest of leading and following? Why are there fewer books on being a good follower as compared to a good leader? Why are people so much less interested in following than leading? Good questions because if we want to lead, we need to know how to follow. As a matter of fact, we can’t truly lead if we can’t, or aren’t willing to, follow. Followers are first and foremost, humble. They realize they need help and are willing to accept whatever role is necessary to accomplish the goal. They care more about the team accomplishing their goal than about who gets the credit. And, perhaps most importantly, they care deeply about the mission of the team. So much so that they want to serve the most in areas of their strengths and allow others to do the same. Kind of sounds like the mindset a leader should have, don’t you think? Why Should We Care? Leadership has been glorified over the years in part due to the connection with corporate positions such as president and CEO. At many companies these people are viewed as the ultimate leaders within that organization. And, while that may be true, the idea that they are always leading and never following couldn’t be further from the truth. If they’re good anyway. Leading and following are inseparable. You can’t lead without followers but you also can’t lead without following. The reason is very simple. Both require the exact same critical behavior. The higher it is, the better we are at both. We can’t be excellent in either facet without it. It’s humility. The best leaders demonstrate this humility by empowering those they lead through autonomy within their role. They allow their people to lead within their area of expertise and while they become the avid follower doing whatever they can to help. Excellent leaders don’t micromanage. They guide and support. They serve and empower. Think of it like building a house. A great building manager is going to hire someone to frame the house, someone to pour the foundation, someone to roof it, someone to do the plumbing, someone to paint it … while the building manager is the leader of the project he must follow the advice and lead of each individual contractor within the project. His ability to be a great follower within each piece of the project will ultimately determine the success of the build. If he were to try to lead in all aspects of building the house, the job would be inefficient and suffer greatly from the missing care and investment of each individual contractor. REAL TALK - Action Steps We like to think that as leaders, we only lead but it’s just not true. If we are unable, or unwilling, to follow then we are compromising our potential. Here are a few ideas to be sure you are not only leading but also following.
Leadership is about bringing out the best in our teams. To think that avenue always runs through us is arrogant and ignorant. We need both the courage to lead and the humility to follow. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Stealing InchesThe warm-up period prior to every varsity basketball game is twenty minutes. The approach to how the warm-up time is handled varies from program to program, but the majority of teams use it for just that, a warm-up.
They begin with some half speed passing drill leading into the infamous two line layups where players dribble in form halfcourt and shoot a layup, or whatever shot they want. The effort is typically minimal and serves as a time for players to ease into the intensity of the game. We don’t approach it like that. For us, the twenty minutes before the game are inches to steal. While most teams build little skill, one could actually argue they are building bad habits by performing the skills at a speed that will not take place in a game, we are basically holding practice for those fifteen minutes. Our reps are calculated and focused specifically on foundational aspects of our program and style of play. Our effort and intensity are high. We don’t lessen our effort because we are about to play a game. We don’t limit our focus because we are going to need more of it later. No. No. We do it at the level of our standard - all the time. That’s what stealing inches is all about. Why Should We Care? We play twenty-two regular season games. Twenty minutes for twenty-two games equates to just over seven hours. That’s seven hours of practice and reps that other teams are not getting. Over the course of a season we steal three to four practices simply from our pregame routine. The reps are important for the development of our players. The mindset is critical for the development of our people. The concept of stealing inches is attached to our core value of being passionate. People that are passionate, and really care about something, willingly choose extra work for what they are passionate about. The work is a by-product of the passion. So much so, that it no longer feels like work. It’s simply the only path to progress. And, progress is what passion longs for. By seeking progress we shine a light on the inches we can steal. They’ve always been there for the taking. We just don’t take them very often. It’s easier, and more accepted, to stay with the status quo. It’s different to warm-up at full speed. It's different to read between meetings. It’s different to write letters to your children each week. Those pursuing excellence are passionate. They’re always looking to steal inches. REAL TALK - Action Steps Stealing inches is sometimes difficult because it’s unusual. Most people don’t do it, so there isn’t a clear blueprint as to what to do or when to do it. Here are a few ideas that should help you get started.
The truth is that excellence isn’t an option without stealing inches. It’s not really an option. We have to do it. The good news is that once we taste the progress it provides, we will never want to stop looking for other inches to steal. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Don't FlinchWe do not allow players in our basketball program to wear headbands, leg sleeves, or arm sleeves. I’ve been questioned on this a few times over the years, but the explanation to our players is always the same. Typically a player wants to wear one of these accessories because they like the way it looks and they subscribe to the mindset of ‘look good, play good’.
I do not subscribe to that mindset. My mindset is more of a ‘work and prepare as hard as you can, care about your teammates, and compete like crazy’ but that’s not as catchy. In any case, after some simple questioning the real purpose of the accessories is soon discovered - to look different from their teammates. One of the core values in our program, and for me personally, is being unified. For me, being unified goes beyond teamwork or merely working together. While those are certainly an aspect of being unified, they don’t quite reach the depth of commitment being unified requires. Unified means to “make or become united, uniform, or whole.” We want to be whole. Why Should We Care? I think you could say all leaders want their teams to be whole. We want our families to be whole, the teams we lead at work, even our social groups are best when they are whole. But, we have to work in order to get, and maintain, the quality of being unified. It certainly doesn’t just happen by chance, yet that’s exactly how most leaders go about creating a team. We put a bunch of people together, with different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives on the world, and hope for the best. Then, when it doesn’t work, we’ll cite the individual struggles each person brought to the table and the gaps their talents left in our team. I’ve certainly fallen into this category from time to time with teams I’ve led. In reflection I can see the failure came down to my unwillingness to do one thing - speak up. I know what needs to be done in order for a team to be a team, I think we all do. But, knowing isn’t doing. We get what we allow in leadership, and that axiom certainly holds true when it comes to being unified. The behavior I attach to my core value of unified is speaking and acting with urgency. The speaking and acting parts of the behavior are critical, but it’s actually the urgency aspect that is the most important to me. My issue is rarely knowing what should be done or being able to actually do it, the issue for me saying or doing it now. Don’t flinch. REAL TALK - Action Steps Holding any standard is difficult, but this one is especially demanding because it is always being challenged. The individuals on our teams want to think about themselves. Heck, we want to think about ourselves. But, in order to be unified we must strike the perfect balance of considering the team as the priority while caring for ourselves enough to bring our best self to the group. Here are a few ideas on topics to be sure you aren’t flinching on when it comes to being unified.
Right is right and as leaders of a team, unified is right. Don’t flinch in holding that standard. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
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