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bcg blog

4/29/2021

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Stay Simple

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Simplicity is something we know is good for us, but we resist it. 
We want it, but deny it. 

I don’t think there is any one reason for our continuous pursuit of more, but I do think it’s ruining our lives. With a few exceptions, there is little that ‘more’ actually helps with. Nonetheless, we treat it like the answer to all of our problems.

This is as true in leadership as it is in life. 

Why Should We Care?
In an effort to pretend like everything is important, we attempt to spread our time over a multitude of seemingly critical matters. Just go to the bookstore, or do a quick search, and you’ll find dozens of books pointing you in hundreds of different directions. While all make strong cases, the validity of each resides with each individual.

Simplicity begins with self-awareness. Without a clear understanding of what we believe, we have no idea what to stand for - making simplicity impossible. We are left, like most, bouncing from fad to fad while never really committing to anything. As a result, we fool ourselves into thinking we’re living a full life. In reality, it’s indifferent.

The culture of most teams follows the same path. We neglect the responsibility as a leader to clearly define what is important in an effort to pretend like everything is important. It’s not. 

By identifying what matters the most, we shine a light on what those we are leading should be focused on. We can’t expect to effectively cast a vision, hold others accountable, or drive the mission without articulating the critical.

Just as we need to highlight the important, we also must recognize what should be eliminated. Simplicity results from the combination of these two. 

REAL TALK - Action Steps
The cleaning of our team’s culture isn’t easy. We tend to value what our previous teams valued, ideas that are in vogue or popular, and things we’ve read or seen work for others. None of those are innately wrong, but they’re not innately right either. We have to do the work to identify what needs to go and what needs to stay.

  • Identify Your 20% 
    • The Pareto Principle says that 20% of your work produces 80% of the results. It definitely applies to our personal lives, as well as our professional lives. Taking the time to reflect, analyze, and identify that 20% is one of the keys to excellence. There are hard working, committed, and brilliant people in all fields that struggle to make the impact they aspire to. Pareto’s Principle is a big reason why - they’re focused on the wrong 20%.

  • Practice What You Do A Lot
    • This philosophy is similar to the previous one but I tend to think of this more in the removal of actions. Consider what the people you lead spend the majority of their day or competition doing. What are the parameters and challenges? What makes it more difficult? What fuels their success? Practice that … a lot. The other stuff? Get to an efficient level and move one - actually not on, back to the stuff that matters a lot. Oftentimes the excellence you create in the things you do a lot spills over and takes care of the things you spend minimal time on.

  • Know What You Get
    • As a leader you don’t get what you want or what you emphasize. You get what you hold others accountable to. Clearly you can hold everything as critical, all though many people attempt to do just that. We make too many rules, which we then have to enforce. We make unreasonable demands, which we then have to lower. Gaining an understanding of what’s necessary to perform at our best is critical to excellence because you can average at a lot of things but you can only be great at few. That’s achieved through simplicity, which powers accountability.

It’s fascinating to me, really. Everyone tells their teams basically the same things. Yet, some teams consistently do those things while others don’t. I believe a large part of it is how diluted the message becomes for so many. The willingness to stick to the few, simple anchors is but it’s the only way to truly have a culture. You have to stand for something or you stand for nothing.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

​
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bcg blog

4/22/2021

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The Standard: Vulnerability

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When we assume a leadership position, we are often focused on spreading our vision or creating our mission statement. It’s an exciting time, guiding others into new territory, but none of those things are the most important job you have as a leader. 

Since Jon Gordon’s The Energy Bus book, the talk with a lot of leaders revolves around getting the right people on the bus. I love the concept, but the concept begs the question: how do we know who the right people are?

Although I don’t think there is a concrete answer that applies universally, I know one characteristic that is consistent with all good teammates.

They’re willing to be vulnerable.

I first read the phrase “vulnerability precedes trust” in The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle and have found it to be one of the most accurate, and useful, leadership principles. Not only does it precede trust, but it also fuels it.

I’ll offer two examples from our teams that have established the standard for vulnerability in our program.

Case
In an early season team meeting in 2012 we were doing an exercise called “Favorite Scar Story” in which each team member shares the story around one of their scars. This is typically a fairly safe activity, meaning most people will pick a story that isn’t too revealing. But, it always depends on the individual and that person’s courage. Courage is something Case was never short on.

Our first two players followed the typical script. One spoke on a scar on his knee from a bike wreck when he was seven with his brother. The next remembered the scar on his knee from a surgery when he was twelve. Both served the purpose of the exercise of gradually allowing a safe space for players to be vulnerable. 

Then Case spoke. He shared the story of losing his mom to cancer when he was ten, then his dad passing from a heart attack at thirteen. He talked about the pain his mom endured, how she never complained. And he talked about moving from New York to live in Ohio with his brother to finish high school. His voice fluctuated between confident and scared, unsure of how his story would be accepted by his teammates yet certain he needed to share it. 

His teammates were silent, fully engaged and connected to every word. They accepted him - they trusted him. 

And the remaining scar stories … they weren’t at the level of vulnerability as Case’s was, but they weren’t superficial and trivial either. His vulnerability led to a much greater level of vulnerability than was previously shared. 

Case’s vulnerability set the tone for not only his team, but the level of expectation for teams following him.

Max 
A few months into this season we had a skull session revolving around the idea that you don’t get what you want, you get what you are willing to sacrifice for. This discussion led to an activity we do most years called Team Lent. Each player shares something they are willing to give up for the team. The more significant the sacrifice, the greater the commitment to the group. 

We began with players giving up the normal things teenagers will give up - XBox, NetFlix, Social Media, etc. Then we got to Max. 

Max was a talented senior that would have been a mainstay on the court for many other area teams. He had worked extremely hard, never missed a workout, and committed himself fully to earning playing time for our team. He was the kid you rooted for as a coach - you wanted things to workout for him. And they did workout, just not the way either of us expected.

By the time we had gotten to the point of this meeting, it was clear Max wasn’t going to get to play a lot of significant minutes. He had several really good underclassmen in front of him at his position and minutes would be hard to find. The disgruntled senior sitting behind younger players is the textbook culture killer for a lot of teams. At the time of this skull session, no one was really sure how Max was going to handle this role.

Max pulls his student ID out of his locker and shows it to the team. 
This recount of Max’s message doesn’t do it justice, but it touches on the primary points. 
“This is my ID, but it’s representing my identity right now. I’ve worked really, really hard to become the best player I could and I want to play. I believe in what we do, I believe in our core values, and I believe in this team. I’m done worrying about me. I am giving up my individual identity for the identity of the team.”
The room was silent and the team was emblazoned with a unity that lasted the entire year.

Max’s message grew from Case’s example and set the stage for a historic season.

I realize we can’t select our team solely on vulnerability. There are many other factors that must be considered, and that are important for any group to maximize its potential. That being said, it’s hard to go wrong with a teammate that is self-aware, humble, and courageous enough to initiate high levels of vulnerability with your team. I would argue that they are THE most important pieces to the entire puzzle if excellence is the pursuit.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

​
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bcg blog

4/15/2021

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Is Perception Reality?

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I’m sure you’ve heard the popular quote, “Perception is reality” attributed to Lee Atwater. While I understand, and can appreciate, the intent behind it; I find it difficult to fully accept. 

Reality is often thought of as a strict, rigid truth. Something that doesn’t vary, never changes. It either is or it isn’t. This absolute view of reality leads us to judgement of right or wrong, agree or disagree. Afterall, if reality is … well, real. Then any view contrary to it becomes inaccurate. 

Perception is generally considered one’s opinion, not a truth. It’s something that depends on the person and could even change from day to day, situation to situation. There is nothing absolute about a perception, everyone’s is slightly different. It’s practically impossible to completely agree on.

Here’s the thing though, it doesn’t matter. 
Perception or reality, doesn’t matter.

Why Should We Care?
We spend far too much time trying to figure out who is right. We would be much better served to spend that time, and effort, pursuing understanding. 

For example, our perception of another person’s intent in a conversation is meaningless. We are usually ignorant to that person’s experiences, priorities, and feelings. Attempting to predict someone’s perception without knowing those factors is futile. 

Our focus should be understanding. Seeking to understand allows us to fend off the desire to judge. There is no good or bad. This, of course, is a challenge. 

When we hear, feel, or experience something our brain immediately creates a story to help us make sense of that situation. It often takes the form of blaming someone else or defending our actions. Of course, we think our story is true. Unfortunately, it rarely is. This is precisely why we need to dismiss all of our stories and begin searching for understanding.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Our perception is a result of our stories. And, our reality is dependent on our experiences. Neither is absolute. But, both are important. It should be our goal to understand our perceptions and define our reality. We should be doing the same for others.

  • Ask Why 
    • Your internal dialogue should begin with asking why. Attempting to understand the reason behind your, or someone else’s, actions or feelings begins with getting curious about it. There is no curiosity when we immediately run with our first story. 

  • Mind the Gap
    • Allow some time to process the action or feeling. It may be a deep breath or it may be a few days, but a pause is essential to allow you to accurately work through the truths of your initial story .. and maybe our third or fourth one as well.

  • Give Grace
    • Acceptance is scarce in society right now. Do yourself, and those around you, a favor and practice grace in moments when your story isn’t what you want it to be. Accept yourself and accept others. Afterall, how you treat someone else is more of a reflection of you than it is them.

Our perceptions are a result of our stories. Our reality is the processed version of that reality. In order for either of those to be trusted, we must take the time to recognize that our initial experience, thought, and feeling is a fraud. 

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

​
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BCG Blog

4/8/2021

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Choosing Other's Path

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My dad taught math, science, and physics for over 30 years. He coached every youth sport as I was growing up, but eventually served as the head varsity baseball coach for the majority of his final twelve years of teaching. He taught himself to be a mechanic, electrician, and carpenter. His students still revere him as their former teacher. The number of times I’ve been with him and a former student has excitedly approached him just to say “Hi, Mr. Cupps” numbers in the hundreds.

There is no doubt he impacted the lives of his students, as a lot of teachers do - in one way or another.

But, there are two people whose lives he impacted far more - mine and my brother’s.

Why Should We Care?
We make numerous choices every day. Some of them significant, most of them not. 

Dad made a significant choice as a high school senior. He joined the Air Force. 

I remember asking him why he decided to join and his answer was crystal clear for him. In his mind, he had no other options. He said, “I had to get away from what I was in. If I stayed, I knew I would end up in the same cycle as we had always been.”

He was  referring to his family. Dad grew up poor, though he wouldn’t phrase it quite that way. He would just say ‘we didn’t have much’. He attended over fifteen different schools because they would live in a house until they were evicted for not paying rent, which they never did because his father couldn’t keep a job. His dad was an abusive alcoholic, constantly in and out of jail and needing picked up from local bars. His mom was a saint, always turning her husband’s drunken rage on herself in order to spare her three sons. 

So, this was the choice for my dad: stay where he’s at and try to help his mom and brothers as much as he could or get out of the situation and try to break the cycle. Not an easy choice, but a significant one. 

You see, this single choice by my dad completely changed the lives of the family he didn’t even have yet. The lives of my brother and I, our families, experience none of what my dad went through. And, it’s not because of anything we’ve done. It’s because of the choice he made.

No one in his family had ever gone to college, he was the first - my brother and I are both teachers. His family was wrecked by alcohol abuse - I can’t remember a time I saw my dad drinking as much as a beer. His mom constantly had to physically fend off her husband - dad never raised a hand to my mom. 

We grew up in a completely different life than my dad, one generation removed. 
Because of a single choice.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
I know there are a lot of stories out there like this. I actually think everyone probably has at least one. But, I’m not sure how good we are at recognizing them.

  • The Past 
    • Regardless of where you are in life, take the time to look back and see how you got there. Why are you where you are? Who helped you get there? I mean, it does matter, right? The difference in understanding and self-awareness should be significant enough.

  • The Present
    • What decisions are you making right now and how are they impacting your life? Forget about big things. Consider the water you passed on for a Coke or the time you spent scrolling on your phone instead of reading. Our lives end up being the culmination of each individual choice. Some are bigger than others, but all are important.

  • The Future
    • How do you want to impact your kids? Your kids’ kids? In order to make the choices necessary to get you there, you must know where you want to get. If we leave it up to chance, we will never realize the true potential of our choices.

I’m sure, at the time, dad didn’t realize the impact of this one decision … then again, maybe he did. Either way, there is nothing I’m more thankful for. He changed his life, but he also changed the lives of our entire side of the family.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

​
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BCG Blog

4/1/2021

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Faithfulness

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Last week I shared some thoughts and ideas around the importance of roles. We all have one and we must not only accept it, but embrace it in order to reach our potential as individuals or a team. 

As important as understanding our roles in life is, it’s our faithfulness to our roles that will separate us from others. More than our talents, status, or goals in life, it’s our persistence that puts us ahead. Continuing when others quit, sticking with it when others opt out.

We are drawn to the faithful as if they possess a superpower we can only hope to have one day. 

Of course, it’s not. It’s a choice.

Why Should We Care?
The decision to remain faithful, or not, is a critical one. We can see it clearly in our marriage or personal lives, although we see plenty of people choosing unfaithfulness in those areas too. 

The most clarity on the value of faithfulness can be gained by looking at the impact of unfaithful behavior on your team. Team members not committed to their role, unhappy with what they are being asked to do, and scheming for a different role create insurmountable obstacles for any team. Indifference in one’s role is simply an expression of unfaithfulness.

Faithfulness is trust and hard work. It’s sacrifice and love. 
Faithfulness is the process, not the result. It’s kindness, not judgement.
Faithfulness is bold and strong. It’s commitment and surrendering.
Faithfulness is giving, not taking. It’s persistence, not grandstanding.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Many people immediately think of religion when they hear the word faithfulness. Of course, the spiritual application is consistent with the use as it applies to leadership and personal accountability but we often neglect to look at it in this light. Below are a few critical ways our faithfulness can be superpowers.

  • Be Faithful to the purpose.
    • A lot of things may come and go, a lot of challenges will be faced; but maintaining faithfulness to the true purpose of the mission is critical. The core reason our purpose should be big, challenging, and impacting to others is so that it provides a drive that is worthy of our faithfulness. Money, status, and wins won’t do it. A powerful purpose beckens our faithfulness.

  • Be Faithful to the process.
    • Here’s the deal. A lot of games have been won, cases closed, and beauty products sold without having the best team or most talented salespeople. It matters, it absolutely does. Your process matters more. Take the time to identify, understand, and teach the process you believe in … then be faithful to it. That doesn’t mean you won’t ever change anything, but it does mean you will return to your process in both good times and bad.

  • Be Faithful to your team.
    • In efforts to compliment a teammate I’ve heard players say things like “She does all the dirty work no one notices.” or “It’s almost like you don’t even notice him, he just shows up, does his job, and goes home.” Both of these attempts at praise miss the boat. They point out positive character traits and attributes, but they fail to recognize the most important aspect of what that teammate brings to the table. They’re faithful to their role and to their team. And, people do notice - mainly their teammates.

Know your role. Be faithful in your role.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

​
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    I'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms.

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