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bcg blog

9/24/2020

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Possible v Acceptable

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Are you focused on what needs to be done in order to complete the task at hand or are you consumed by the possibility of what could be?

I find most people drift to what is acceptable. After all, that’s what we’ve been conditioned to do our entire life. Follow the rules, stay in the lines, and don’t rock the boat. 

So we do. 

And eventually, we stop considering what’s possible. As a matter of fact, we start thinking what’s possible and what’s acceptable are the same things. Mediocrity soon follows.

Why Should We Care?
It’s always the maverick that breaks the record or sets the standard. Always. Those willing to wonder what is possible rather than settle for what is acceptable are the ones we follow. I mean, who want’s to walk down the same path all the time? Off the path is where the real fruit is.

Acceptable is okay, but not great. 
Acceptable meets the standard, but never exceeds it. 
Acceptable means that you’re never the worst, but also ensures that you’re never the best.

Possible wonders what is possible - even if they’ve never seen it before.
Possible raises the standard for everyone - whether they know it or not.
Possible realizes ‘best’ is relative - we’re all competing with ourselves, not each other.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Developing and maintaining a “possible” mindset, rather than an “acceptable” mindset, is difficult. I think everyone is different in their approach, but here are a few ideas that I’ve found helpful in fighting the complacency of an “acceptable” mindset.
  • “Detach from man’s approval.” 
    • The most damaging thing to taking risks and going for what is possible is the judgement that will be poured on you from those comfortable accepting what is acceptable. Comparing yourself to others and seeking approval from those outside your Inner Circle is a game you never win. By detaching from the approval of others, we free ourselves to take the risks necessary to discover what is possible.
  • Embrace “The Power of Yet”
    • I’ve got great news for you. You’re going to fail. The good news is that the failure never defines you, it’s your response to that perceived failure that will define you. Some will use it as an excuse to quit, or settle. Others, those chasing possibilities, will view it for what it is - not yet. Yet conveys the understanding that it will happen - that is inevitable. The only question is when.
  • Be Quiet
    • Everything around us is pushing for more - more information, more entertainment, more comfort. Well, more isn’t always better. This is particularly true when we realize that the majority of what we hear is just noise. No impact, no relevance, just noise. Possible is reserved for people willing to turn off the noise and understand themselves.
  • Be Curious
    • Think of the discoveries, accomplishments, and milestones that are simply the result of someone saying “I wonder what happens if …”. Curiosity erased what seemed impossible at the time. Without wonder, what is there?

I want you to think about what’s possible. Go for it. Fight for it. Stop settling. In your profession, with your family, in your relationships, in your faith. Make an intentional effort to go beyond what is acceptable. Acceptable is for people willing to settle for a life of someone else’s choosing. Dream of what is possible. Then, detach from the approval of others, believe in the power of yet, be quiet, and stay curious. 

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
​

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bcg blog

9/17/2020

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Time: Is Your's a Perishable Donation?
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I read this passage on New England Crossfit’s site the other day
(http://crossfitnewengland.com/wods-news/).

Imagine we’re moving. And we have two friends, who both extend an offer to help.
The first friend writes us a check for 1,000 dollars to help with the moving expenses. Incredibly generous. The second friend doesn’t offer a dime, but instead comes to our old place, helps us pack up every box, drives with us to the new house, and unpacks everything with us into the early hours in the morning.

Fast forward two weeks later. Both friends call you to ask for a favor. 
Which friend are we more likely to help?
We would choose the second friend. But why? If we were to try to explain, we collectively would flow to the same, natural response… “Because they would have done it for me.”

Money has relative value. But time is absolute. If we want to make a “perishable donation”, give money. If we want to make an everlasting impact, give time.
The absoluteness of time is worth our attention, yet we often fail to honor it justly.
Why Should We Care?
Well, we should care because we don’t get it back and we don’t get any extra. What we get is what we get. And, to add to that, we have no idea when our time is up. Imagine playing a game of basketball. The game is going along, back and forth both teams are doing everything they can to ‘win’ the game. You’re midway through the 3rd quarter, the buzzer sounds, and the announcer comes on and says “And that’s the ballgame. Thank you everyone for coming out tonight. Have a safe trip home.” That’s how time is in our lives. Hopefully you didn’t waste your opportunity!
We would be wise to consider our time more valuable than say, our money - which few people do. Afterall, it is more important, isn’t it?
But, are you as intentional with your time as you are with your money?
Are you investing it wisely? Not throwing it away? 
This is a tough ask. The monotony of the day to day routine gradually pulls us towards indifference. If we aren’t careful, we will soon be wondering where the time went
REAL TALK - Action Steps
Like anything we aspire to consistently do, making the best use of our time is a habit. And, habits require intentional actions in order to be formed. Here's a list of 5 things you can start doing today in order to make the best use of your time. 
  • Start Doing
  1. Be Still - Meditate, breath, sit there, or do nothing. 10 minutes a day is a great place to start. You will quickly notice the clarity this stillness creates. What you lose in the 10 minutes of time, you more than make-up for through your performance in all other aspects of your life.
  2. Hell Yes, or No - Stop spending so much time deciding on things. It is either a Hell Yes or it’s a No. It doesn’t matter if it’s a decision to take a new job or install a new defense. Trust your gut enough to go for it or stay with what you’ve been doing. 
  3. Be Early - According to the late Dean Smith, tardiness was the height of all arrogance. When you’re late you are basically saying your time is more important than our time. And on time is late. 
  4. Stop Complaining - It’s a waste of time, regardless of who’s fault it is. You are doing nothing but weakening your character and wasting your precious time. Own it and move on. The people that ultimately matter to you will know, and respect you for it. 
  5. Know Your Eulogy - This week my leadership students have been writing their eulogy. It’s funny how the pursuit of fame and fortune give way to the humble acts of being a great friend and a loving father. We would be much better served if we valued our time in a way that reflected our eulogy. 
So, the question is how are you using your time? As an absolute, limited resource or as a “perishable donation”? If we’re not intentional, it will always drift to the latter. 
For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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bcg blog

9/10/2020

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​You Only Get One

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You’ve probably played for several coaches at this point in your life. Coach Pine, Coach Bailar, Coach Middleton, Coach Graves, Coach Reed, Coach Hollingsworth, Coach Casey, Coach Ramey, Coach White, Coach Lewis, Coach Goodwin, Coach Holweger, Coach Croci … I’m forever grateful for the opportunity these men provided and pieces of themselves they poured into me long before I realized they were doing so.

But, you only get one “Coach”. No last name needed, no description required. Anyone that knows you immediately realizes precisely who you are talking about.

At least, I hope you get one. 

Z was my Coach.

Now, I could introduce him as Dave Zeller, the backcourt mate to Wayne Embry at Tecumseh HS or the back-up to Oscar Robertson for the Cincinnati Royals but that doesn’t pay him the respect he deserves. Ask any of his former players, Z was in a class all his own. 

Why It’s Important
As with any mentor, it was Z’s actions, not his words, that meant the most. The handwritten scouting report, the wooden charge balls he cut and painted, the piece of pie he would randomly bring, or the winning scratch off lottery ticket he would give away were all his way of saying he cared. 

I’ll never know if Coach took a special interest in all of his point guards, or if I was just lucky. I tend to think he had the gift of making everyone feel like he had a special interest in them. In any case, I am forever grateful. Aside from my parents, Coach had the largest impact on my life of anyone I’ve ever met. I’m sure you could say the same about your “Coach”.

Here are a few of the most important life lessons I learned from Coach.
  • Deal Hope - Coach believed in me, unequivocally and without hesitation - and he told me. He started me as his varsity point guard my sophomore year, 135 lbs of skin and bones. Through middle school and freshman basketball I had scored more than 12 points one time. In my first varsity game I had 16 points including 4 straight free throws, down three with under thirty seconds to win the game. A week later I had 26 points and made a shot with 3 seconds left to win the game. I’m not sharing those memories as justification of my basketball talent. I was an average high school basketball player, but that’s not what I believed. He believed in me before I did.

  • Prepare. Always. - Practice schedules to the minute, scouting reports with everything short of player blood types, and repetition repetition repetition. At no point in my high school career did I ever think the other team was even in the same galaxy as we were in regards to preparation. And, at no point did I ever think he told us everything he knew about the opponent. He always knew more than necessary and we always prepared more than necessary. Always.

  • Be a Lifter - If you took a charge in a game, the next day Coach would bring you a cut out wooden basketball painted with the game, score, date, and your name written on it. It wasn’t until my senior year that I realized the amount of time he had to spend doing just that. He also made one for the player of the game. Why? Because he wanted players to feel special, like they contributed to the group. He was lifting others up. It’s what he did. He never complained about the time it took or how much money it cost him. He just served, humbly.

  • Make it Personal - At the time, I didn’t understand what Coach was doing. That’s the beauty of it I guess. Every player was special. Everyone had their own needs, own interests, and own troubles. Coach knew them and bounced back and forth from one to the other with ease and grace. For me, it was pouring confidence in. He did this in a variety of ways but there is one I remember clearly. Coach taped my ankle before every game - yea, All-American & former NBA player taped a random, average basketball player’s ankle before every game … see humbly serve above. When he finished taping my ankle he would always write a message on it - “Shoot the ball!” was the most common. Think what you do doesn’t matter? I still have the one from my last game.

  • Coach Your Team - This was actually advice Coach shared with me early in my coaching career. Things weren’t going well, parents were mad, and officials were seemingly out to get us. I called Coach and started in on a laundry list of complaints, to which he patiently listened to. When I stopped for air, he calmly asked if I was done. He paused for a minute and said “Just coach your team.” He told me to stop complaining about officials, stop worrying about parents and focus on what’s important - my guys and our team. I got the message.

  • Define Your Own Success - Reflection has allowed me to discover this, now cornerstone of my life, from Coach. I can’t imagine playing high school basketball for anyone else in the world. I’ve now been a high school coach for over twenty years. I’ve never met a better coach than my Coach. Yet, society judges the success of coaches by wins and state championships, a mindset of the masses I fell into my first seven years of coaching. Well, Coach never won a state championship so something had to give. Either he wasn’t the best coach I had ever seen or the barometer I was using to measure success was wrong. Over a decade removed from this life changing realization, he’s still the best coach I’ve ever seen. Wins and championships are goals of course, anyone competing wants to win. And Coach was no different in this regard. But, his priority was always impact. That was success to him. That was his legacy.

This blog was cathartic for me but my hope is that it spurns you to action in two ways:
  1. Thank your “Coach”. Let them know how much they mean to you and why they are so important. Talk about them and share their impact on you with your loved ones. Call, write, and go out to dinner. Time is our greatest currency. Spend it with them. It may seem like time you don’t have right now, but it will be time you wish you would have spent soon enough.
  2. Recognize your impact. If you’re leading, you are likely someone’s “Coach” - and possibly several people’s “Coach”. Acknowledge that gift and intentionally pour into those people. Don’t focus on helping them get the promotion or scholarship, those things will happen if you commit to impacting their lives as people. Help them with their view of the world, their confidence and self-esteem, and clarifying what they value - not what everyone around them values.

My Coach passed on September 2. His impact is far from over. 
Find your impact. Give your time.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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bcg blog

9/3/2020

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​ChopChop

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We all have a process, but not everyone can identify what it is. And, even fewer people can explain that process and how it permeates all areas of their life. I was certainly in the ladder group for a long time, but am thankful for the clarity I’ve gained through much reflection and self examination.

ChopChop is my process and I’ll attempt to explain it here, but the important take-away from this post isn’t an understanding of my process. My hope is that your take-away moves you to a realization, and appreciation, of your process … and a trust in it.

Why Should We Care?
If you’ve never chopped down a tree with an axe before, it may be difficult to understand the primary premise behind ChopChop. For this exact reason, we take our basketball team on a retreat every year where they each have to chop down a tree. As we head out to the woods, I ask our guys how many swings they anticipate taking them to get the tree to the ground. The answers are all over the place, but one thing always rings true - they’re prediction is always low. They anticipate achieving the goal (cutting down the tree) will take less work (swing the axe) than it actually will … such is life. 

They will start out like a ball of fire, swing in furies of powerful blows. Soon they realize it’s going to take much longer than they initially thought. Some adjust their form, dig deep and swing a little harder, and open up some blisters on their hands. 

Inevitably someone will ask the golden question: “Coach, what are we supposed to do?”

Which clears the path for me to share the golden answer and the essence of my personal process: “Keep choppin’”. 

I’ve always been pretty average by every measure - intelligence, athleticism - whatever you want to measure, I’m probably in the middle of the pack. The comparison this view of myself led me to was toxic and pushed me to a negative, victim mindset. I’m so grateful for the mindfulness to recognize my gifts, how I was blessed. 

My gift is my willingness to Keep Choppin. When things are good, I keep swinging the axe. When things are bad, I keep swinging the axe. I don’t believe in quick fixes or short cuts, nor do I desire to find them. I believe in putting your head down and working. Maybe it’s because I’m not talented enough or smart enough to do it any other way, but it’s who I am and I’m grateful for it. 

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Finding your process is a valuable experience. It’s certainly connected to your core values and must fit within those walls. Your process should fuel your purpose. It’s how your purpose becomes a reality. Here are a few questions from Joe Ehrmann’s book Inside Out Coaching that can give you great insight into what your process may be.

  • Why do you Coach / Lead?
    • This question speaks to the essence of your purpose. It must involve other people and should revolve around sharing part of who you are as a person with those you coach/lead. Fully understanding your process is impossible without answering this question, which few do.

  • Why do you Coach / Lead the way you do?
    • Reflection is required. If you never look back with an attempt to understand why you do what you do, then there is no reason to expect change or improvement. Afterall, how do you know what needs to change if you never reflect? The deffered, unintentional answer to this question is because it’s how you were coached, parented, or led in the past. Also, the most common answer. 
 
  • How does it feel to be Coached / Led by you?
    • I love this question and we never consider it. Think about the feeling of your best player and your worst player; your top salesperson and your lowest salesperson. If we’re trusting our process; they all should feel it and a genuine, common appreciation should be central to all responses.

  • How do you define success?
    • This is the key question for your process. It should look like this:
Success = Purpose filled, which happens when Core Values are fulfilled, which happens when The Process is trusted and fully embraced.

So, how about you? What’s your process? What do you believe in? What drives everything else for you? Tough questions. Important answers. After all, it's our process, not our goals, that determine our future and our impact!

ChopChop!

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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    About bc

    I'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms.

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