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bcg blog

4/15/2021

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Is Perception Reality?

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I’m sure you’ve heard the popular quote, “Perception is reality” attributed to Lee Atwater. While I understand, and can appreciate, the intent behind it; I find it difficult to fully accept. 

Reality is often thought of as a strict, rigid truth. Something that doesn’t vary, never changes. It either is or it isn’t. This absolute view of reality leads us to judgement of right or wrong, agree or disagree. Afterall, if reality is … well, real. Then any view contrary to it becomes inaccurate. 

Perception is generally considered one’s opinion, not a truth. It’s something that depends on the person and could even change from day to day, situation to situation. There is nothing absolute about a perception, everyone’s is slightly different. It’s practically impossible to completely agree on.

Here’s the thing though, it doesn’t matter. 
Perception or reality, doesn’t matter.

Why Should We Care?
We spend far too much time trying to figure out who is right. We would be much better served to spend that time, and effort, pursuing understanding. 

For example, our perception of another person’s intent in a conversation is meaningless. We are usually ignorant to that person’s experiences, priorities, and feelings. Attempting to predict someone’s perception without knowing those factors is futile. 

Our focus should be understanding. Seeking to understand allows us to fend off the desire to judge. There is no good or bad. This, of course, is a challenge. 

When we hear, feel, or experience something our brain immediately creates a story to help us make sense of that situation. It often takes the form of blaming someone else or defending our actions. Of course, we think our story is true. Unfortunately, it rarely is. This is precisely why we need to dismiss all of our stories and begin searching for understanding.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Our perception is a result of our stories. And, our reality is dependent on our experiences. Neither is absolute. But, both are important. It should be our goal to understand our perceptions and define our reality. We should be doing the same for others.

  • Ask Why 
    • Your internal dialogue should begin with asking why. Attempting to understand the reason behind your, or someone else’s, actions or feelings begins with getting curious about it. There is no curiosity when we immediately run with our first story. 

  • Mind the Gap
    • Allow some time to process the action or feeling. It may be a deep breath or it may be a few days, but a pause is essential to allow you to accurately work through the truths of your initial story .. and maybe our third or fourth one as well.

  • Give Grace
    • Acceptance is scarce in society right now. Do yourself, and those around you, a favor and practice grace in moments when your story isn’t what you want it to be. Accept yourself and accept others. Afterall, how you treat someone else is more of a reflection of you than it is them.

Our perceptions are a result of our stories. Our reality is the processed version of that reality. In order for either of those to be trusted, we must take the time to recognize that our initial experience, thought, and feeling is a fraud. 

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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BCG Blog

4/8/2021

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Choosing Other's Path

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My dad taught math, science, and physics for over 30 years. He coached every youth sport as I was growing up, but eventually served as the head varsity baseball coach for the majority of his final twelve years of teaching. He taught himself to be a mechanic, electrician, and carpenter. His students still revere him as their former teacher. The number of times I’ve been with him and a former student has excitedly approached him just to say “Hi, Mr. Cupps” numbers in the hundreds.

There is no doubt he impacted the lives of his students, as a lot of teachers do - in one way or another.

But, there are two people whose lives he impacted far more - mine and my brother’s.

Why Should We Care?
We make numerous choices every day. Some of them significant, most of them not. 

Dad made a significant choice as a high school senior. He joined the Air Force. 

I remember asking him why he decided to join and his answer was crystal clear for him. In his mind, he had no other options. He said, “I had to get away from what I was in. If I stayed, I knew I would end up in the same cycle as we had always been.”

He was  referring to his family. Dad grew up poor, though he wouldn’t phrase it quite that way. He would just say ‘we didn’t have much’. He attended over fifteen different schools because they would live in a house until they were evicted for not paying rent, which they never did because his father couldn’t keep a job. His dad was an abusive alcoholic, constantly in and out of jail and needing picked up from local bars. His mom was a saint, always turning her husband’s drunken rage on herself in order to spare her three sons. 

So, this was the choice for my dad: stay where he’s at and try to help his mom and brothers as much as he could or get out of the situation and try to break the cycle. Not an easy choice, but a significant one. 

You see, this single choice by my dad completely changed the lives of the family he didn’t even have yet. The lives of my brother and I, our families, experience none of what my dad went through. And, it’s not because of anything we’ve done. It’s because of the choice he made.

No one in his family had ever gone to college, he was the first - my brother and I are both teachers. His family was wrecked by alcohol abuse - I can’t remember a time I saw my dad drinking as much as a beer. His mom constantly had to physically fend off her husband - dad never raised a hand to my mom. 

We grew up in a completely different life than my dad, one generation removed. 
Because of a single choice.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
I know there are a lot of stories out there like this. I actually think everyone probably has at least one. But, I’m not sure how good we are at recognizing them.

  • The Past 
    • Regardless of where you are in life, take the time to look back and see how you got there. Why are you where you are? Who helped you get there? I mean, it does matter, right? The difference in understanding and self-awareness should be significant enough.

  • The Present
    • What decisions are you making right now and how are they impacting your life? Forget about big things. Consider the water you passed on for a Coke or the time you spent scrolling on your phone instead of reading. Our lives end up being the culmination of each individual choice. Some are bigger than others, but all are important.

  • The Future
    • How do you want to impact your kids? Your kids’ kids? In order to make the choices necessary to get you there, you must know where you want to get. If we leave it up to chance, we will never realize the true potential of our choices.

I’m sure, at the time, dad didn’t realize the impact of this one decision … then again, maybe he did. Either way, there is nothing I’m more thankful for. He changed his life, but he also changed the lives of our entire side of the family.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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BCG Blog

4/1/2021

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Faithfulness

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Last week I shared some thoughts and ideas around the importance of roles. We all have one and we must not only accept it, but embrace it in order to reach our potential as individuals or a team. 

As important as understanding our roles in life is, it’s our faithfulness to our roles that will separate us from others. More than our talents, status, or goals in life, it’s our persistence that puts us ahead. Continuing when others quit, sticking with it when others opt out.

We are drawn to the faithful as if they possess a superpower we can only hope to have one day. 

Of course, it’s not. It’s a choice.

Why Should We Care?
The decision to remain faithful, or not, is a critical one. We can see it clearly in our marriage or personal lives, although we see plenty of people choosing unfaithfulness in those areas too. 

The most clarity on the value of faithfulness can be gained by looking at the impact of unfaithful behavior on your team. Team members not committed to their role, unhappy with what they are being asked to do, and scheming for a different role create insurmountable obstacles for any team. Indifference in one’s role is simply an expression of unfaithfulness.

Faithfulness is trust and hard work. It’s sacrifice and love. 
Faithfulness is the process, not the result. It’s kindness, not judgement.
Faithfulness is bold and strong. It’s commitment and surrendering.
Faithfulness is giving, not taking. It’s persistence, not grandstanding.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Many people immediately think of religion when they hear the word faithfulness. Of course, the spiritual application is consistent with the use as it applies to leadership and personal accountability but we often neglect to look at it in this light. Below are a few critical ways our faithfulness can be superpowers.

  • Be Faithful to the purpose.
    • A lot of things may come and go, a lot of challenges will be faced; but maintaining faithfulness to the true purpose of the mission is critical. The core reason our purpose should be big, challenging, and impacting to others is so that it provides a drive that is worthy of our faithfulness. Money, status, and wins won’t do it. A powerful purpose beckens our faithfulness.

  • Be Faithful to the process.
    • Here’s the deal. A lot of games have been won, cases closed, and beauty products sold without having the best team or most talented salespeople. It matters, it absolutely does. Your process matters more. Take the time to identify, understand, and teach the process you believe in … then be faithful to it. That doesn’t mean you won’t ever change anything, but it does mean you will return to your process in both good times and bad.

  • Be Faithful to your team.
    • In efforts to compliment a teammate I’ve heard players say things like “She does all the dirty work no one notices.” or “It’s almost like you don’t even notice him, he just shows up, does his job, and goes home.” Both of these attempts at praise miss the boat. They point out positive character traits and attributes, but they fail to recognize the most important aspect of what that teammate brings to the table. They’re faithful to their role and to their team. And, people do notice - mainly their teammates.

Know your role. Be faithful in your role.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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BCG BLOG

3/25/2021

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Know Your Role

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I’m convinced that the willingness of team members to not only accept, but embrace, their needed role on a team is one of the most telling signs of that team’s potential for success. The question is, what makes it so hard? Why do so many team members balk at the role they are asked to fill? What makes the success of the team so dependent on this commitment? And, how do we help team members become more willing to embrace the roles we are asking of them?

I don’t have the answers. I’ve tried different things. Some have worked, some haven’t. What has worked well with one team member makes no impact on another. Leadership is an art, not a science. There is no answer, no formula. It’s a messy process, but it’s a messy process we must be willing to wade through.

Why Should We Care?
The main reason we need to become better at helping team members embrace their role is simple: everyone has a role. No one on your team is without a role. For some reason, we think of role players as being less important, less valuable, to the success of the team than those out in the spotlight. It’s a misconception that must be changed because it’s blatantly not true.

We’re willing to acknowledge it - a quarterback or running back is only as good as his offensive line - but we rarely think of it that way when building our teams. Just as a quarterback is looking for linemen that are not only willing to block, but love the opportunity to block and protect, the best teams have members that desire to excel in their role. 

And, remember, everyone has a role. The salesperson that’s out in front of the people and on the billboards may be the face of the company, but that’s her role. That role comes with benefits and challenges, just like every other role.

Society loves to overvalue the public role - the leading scorer, the highest earner, the top salesman. If you want your team to excel, it would benefit you to flip the spotlight. 

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Every team, and role, is different. It’s never the exact same from year to year or position to position. We must approach each situation as its own, separate encounter. Here are few ideas that do remain consistent when helping team members accept roles.

  • Crystal Clear 
    • Be clear. Much more clear than you need to be. If you think it, say it. Provide explanation, explain why, help them understand how it helps the team be at its best - but say it! Far too often we assume, or hope, they understand. They don’t. Clarity creates consistency and speed. Say it so the message can not be misunderstood. Then say it again.

  • Celebrate the Single
    • Everyone doesn’t need to hit homeruns. Teams don’t work like that. A team full of homerun hitters will strike out far too often to be successful. You need people that will hit singles day after day. The paper writes about the homeruns. Be sure you are singing praises about the singles.

  • Recognize Your Role
    • As the leader of a team, you have a role too. Everything is not your job. You’re not good at everything, nor can you do everything. Become self-aware enough to know where your role begins and ends, then operate within those boundaries. It’s empowering to those you lead to see you deferring to a team member that thrives in a certain role.

Roles are the linchpin to the success of every team. The better we are at helping our team members understand their role, the closer we will be to guiding our teams to maximizing their potential. That’s our role as a leader!

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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Bcg blog

3/18/2021

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You Only Get One (Re-post)

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You’ve probably played for several coaches at this point in your life. Coach Pine, Coach Bailar, Coach Middleton, Coach Graves, Coach Reed, Coach Hollingsworth, Coach Casey, Coach Ramey, Coach White, Coach Lewis, Coach Goodwin, Coach Holwager, Coach Croci … I’m forever grateful for the opportunity these men provided and pieces of themselves they poured into me long before I realized they were doing so.

But, you only get one “Coach”. No last name needed, no description required. Anyone that knows you immediately realizes precisely who you are talking about.

At least, I hope you get one. 

Z was my Coach.

Now, I could introduce him as Dave Zeller, the backcourt mate to Wayne Embry at Tecumseh HS or the back-up to Oscar Robertson for the Cincinnati Royals but that doesn’t pay him the respect he deserves. Ask any of his former players, Z was in a class all his own. 

Why It’s Important
As with any mentor, it was Z’s actions, not his words, that meant the most. The handwritten scouting report, the wooden charge balls he cut and painted, the piece of pie he would randomly bring, or the winning scratch off lottery ticket he would give away were all his way of saying he cared. 

I’ll never know if Coach took a special interest in all of his point guards, or if I was just lucky. I tend to think he had the gift of making everyone feel like he had a special interest in them. In any case, I am forever grateful. Aside from my parents, Coach had the largest impact on my life of anyone I’ve ever met. I’m sure you could say the same about your “Coach”.

Here are a few of the most important life lessons I learned from Coach.
  • Deal Hope - Coach believed in me, unequivocally and without hesitation - and he told me. He started me as his varsity point guard my sophomore year, 135 lbs of skin and bones. Through middle school and freshman basketball I had scored more than 12 points one time. In my first varsity game I had 16 points including 4 straight free throws, down three with under thirty seconds to win the game. A week later I had 26 points and made a shot with 3 seconds left to win the game. I’m not sharing those memories as justification of my basketball talent. I was an average high school basketball player, but that’s not what I believed. He believed in me before I did.

  • Prepare. Always. - Practice schedules to the minute, scouting reports with everything short of player blood types, and repetition repetition repetition. At no point in my high school career did I ever think the other team was even in the same galaxy as we were in regards to preparation. And, at no point did I ever think he told us everything he knew about the opponent. He always knew more than necessary and we always prepared more than necessary. Always.

  • Be a Lifter - If you took a charge in a game, the next day Coach would bring you a cut out wooden basketball painted with the game, score, date, and your name written on it. It wasn’t until my senior year that I realized the amount of time he had to spend doing just that. He also made one for the player of the game. Why? Because he wanted players to feel special, like they contributed to the group. He was lifting others up. It’s what he did. He never complained about the time it took or how much money it cost him. He just served, humbly.

  • Make it Personal - At the time, I didn’t understand what Coach was doing. That’s the beauty of it I guess. Every player was special. Everyone had their own needs, own interests, and own troubles. Coach knew them and bounced back and forth from one to the other with ease and grace. For me, it was pouring confidence in. He did this in a variety of ways but there is one I remember clearly. Coach taped my ankle before every game - yea, All-American & former NBA player taped a random, average basketball player’s ankle before every game … see humbly serve above. When he finished taping my ankle he would always write a message on it - “Shoot the ball!” was the most common. Think what you do doesn’t matter? I still have the one from my last game.

  • Coach Your Team - This was actually advice Coach shared with me early in my coaching career. Things weren’t going well, parents were mad, and officials were seemingly out to get us. I called Coach and started in on a laundry list of complaints, to which he patiently listened to. When I stopped for air, he calmly asked if I was done. He paused for a minute and said “Just coach your team.” He told me to stop complaining about officials, stop worrying about parents and focus on what’s important - my guys and our team. I got the message.

  • Define Your Own Success - Reflection has allowed me to discover this, now cornerstone of my life, from Coach. I can’t imagine playing high school basketball for anyone else in the world. I’ve now been a high school coach for over twenty years. I’ve never met a better coach than my Coach. Yet, society judges the success of coaches by wins and state championships, a mindset of the masses I fell into my first seven years of coaching. Well, Coach never won a state championship so something had to give. Either he wasn’t the best coach I had ever seen or the barometer I was using to measure success was wrong. Over a decade removed from this life changing realization, he’s still the best coach I’ve ever seen. Wins and championships are goals of course, anyone competing wants to win. And Coach was no different in this regard. But, his priority was always impact. That was success to him. That was his legacy.

This blog was cathartic for me but my hope is that it spurns you to action in two ways:
  1. Thank your “Coach”. Let them know how much they mean to you and why they are so important. Talk about them and share their impact on you with your loved ones. Call, write, and go out to dinner. Time is our greatest currency. Spend it with them. It may seem like time you don’t have right now, but it will be time you wish you would have spent soon enough.
  2. Recognize your impact. If you’re leading, you are likely someone’s “Coach” - and possibly several people’s “Coach”. Acknowledge that gift and intentionally pour into those people. Don’t focus on helping them get the promotion or scholarship, those things will happen if you commit to impacting their lives as people. Help them with their view of the world, their confidence and self-esteem, and clarifying what they value - not what everyone around them values.

My Coach passed away on September 2. His impact is far from over. 
Find your impact. Give your time.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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BCG BLog

3/11/2021

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Your Old Friend Grace

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You remember her don’t you? From back when you were a little kid? You remember her, right? She was the friend that was always telling you things would be ok, no matter how bad you messed up. She would forgive you over and over and over, and still great you with a smile and a hug. She always thought the best of everyone and, for some crazy reason, felt that others, deep down, always had good intentions. 

Not only would Grace accept others, but she always found a way to help you accept yourself. There would be times when you hated yourself for something stupid you did or said. You would wallow around for a while in self-pity, but eventually Grace would always come through with at least a glimmer of hope.

And, remember how Grace always made you feel? Like you were a good person. Like you cared about others and wanted them to do well. Like you were strong and could survive any adversity and struggle that came your way. 

She would always accept you, and others, while intentionally moving forward with confidence and hope.

Why Should We Care?
The willingness to show grace to others is a choice, an important one for a leader. The opposite of grace is judgement. As a leader, this is a critical distinction. The more we move towards judgement, the less trust we build with our people. 

The distinction between judgement and accountability is also important. We can hold people accountable without judging them. We can hold people accountable and still show them grace. We’ve all done it. We just need to do it more. A lot more. 

Consider for a second the amount of judging that is taking place in society right now. It’s everywhere. How could our team and those we lead not be sucked into that darkness as well? It requires intentional thoughts and actions. And, it requires the courage to be different.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Our actions are a result of the feelings our thoughts create. Those feelings are not a result of what has happened to us, rather a result of the story we tell ourselves about what happened. That narrative is the deciding factor on choosing grace.

*Much more detail on each of the points below can be found in Brené Brown’s book “Dare to Lead”

  • The Rumble
    • Take the time to recognize your story and that what you are telling yourself might not be completely true. You don’t have to do anything with it yet, just recognize that there is a story involved. Few people are willing to do this which leads directly to assumptions and judgements.

  • The Reckoning
    • Dig into that story. Is it true? What information are you adding that you aren’t sure about? Do you really know the intent of the other person? What more do you need to know about the situation, the other person, and yourself? This is where we decide between judgement and grace.

  • The Revolution
    • This is where the rubber meets the road. Once we’ve wrestled with the story and gotten comfortable with it, now we take action. Hopefully it’s a revolution and an action you will be proud of. Choosing grace and acting on that grace are two different things. Having the courage to give grace sets us apart from the rest of the world.

It’s easy looking at it from the outside, or in retrospect. Which leader do you want to work for - one that consistently extends grace or one that consistently extends judgement? Of course, we may get burned sometimes. It’s still the right way.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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BCG Blog

3/4/2021

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The Original Instagram

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We like to think of the advances in technology over the last few decades as adding so much to our lives. Of course, that’s true in many cases. Wireless devices, computers that will fit in your pocket, and interactive media are all extraordinary inventions and can add great value to our lives when used appropriately. 

The cell phone has led to apps beyond our imagination with the potential to connect us to people we will likely never meet. Unfortunately, our phones can also lead us to isolation and out of the present. One of those incredibly popular apps is Instagram.

Instagram allows people to capture their thoughts and experiences, then share them with the world. What an innovative creation - like nothing we’ve ever experienced before.

But, is it really new?

Why Should We Care?
Our body language was our Instagram before Instagram was a thing. 
Our body language captures our thoughts and displays them for all the world to see. 

As a matter of fact, our body language conveys those things better than Instagram. On Instagram, we never know what is true. We never know if what is being displayed is the real you or the one you want everyone to think is you. That’s not the case with your body language. 

Sure, you can ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ but eventually the truth is going to come out in your body language, no matter how hard you try to hide it. Given that approximately 93% of all our communication is non-verbal, your body language is your personal billboard - sorry, I’ll use Insta-lingo, your personal ‘post’. 

You are making it every day in every interaction. No time to get your shirt looking just right or to arrange your food perfectly for the picture. Life isn’t waiting on that. But, you can be sure that those watching are either liking or scrolling on based on what they see displayed in your body language.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Intentional body language is difficult because it happens so fast. Our body is reacting to what our mind is telling it to do. So, the point of attack isn’t the body at all. It has to be the mind and the thoughts we generate from each experience. Our thoughts are what gets posted in our body language.

  • Stay Present 
    • Poor body language is typically a reflection of our concern for something that happened in the past. Learning to allow those thoughts of judgement and regret to pass go a long way in helping us listen to positive, empowering thoughts that will result in positive body language. Be still. Breathe. Meditate. 

  • MTG
    • Manage the Gap. The Gap is the time between something happening and us responding to it. The better we are at staying neutral during this time, the better we will be at intentionally choosing our response … rather than getting pulled into our emotions. Your emotions are not the direct result of an event. They are the response to the story we tell ourselves about the event. Managing the gap gives us the opportunity to control that story.

  • BCD
    • Blame. Complain. Defend. Don’t do it. Ever. Much of our negative body language is a result of listening to one of these excuses. That’s what they are, an excuse. And our poor body language is us puking on everyone around us.

You would never think of posting your worst picture on social media.
So, stop posting bad body language. It never whispers. It always screams.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

​
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BCG Blog

2/25/2021

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Confidence In What?

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I recently had a conversation with my son about confidence. Our discussion was centered on basketball, but certainly translates to other aspects of life. 

I commented on the lack of confidence he seemed to be shooting the ball with. I believe my phrase was that he was shooting to not miss instead of shooting to make it. The pursuit of not failing is a sure way to fail. The courage to go for it (see last week’s blog) is the only way to reach our potential.

While my point may have been accurate, it provided no feedback or guidance. He understood what I was saying but I did nothing to help him move through it. He flippantly asked why he would have confidence when he hadn’t shot the ball well all week? 

Initially I thought - what do you mean you shot bad for a week? He’s been a great shooter since he was 10 years old. How could one week of poor shooting trump 6 years of demonstrating a high level of performance of the skill? It made no sense.

Then, it hit me.

Why Should We Care?
Confidence, or lack of, is the catalyst in our actions. It has a significant influence on how we think, what we say, and the way in which we act. Everyone has varying degrees of confidence in different situations. 

Our experience in the field, time spent working on a skill, and passion for the subject matter all play into our confidence. But, none of them are the anchor for our confidence. 

Coach Z, my high school basketball coach, used to say “confidence comes from demonstrated ability - I can’t give it to you or take it from you.” It wasn’t until recently that I realized the ‘demonstrated ability’ Coach was referencing wasn’t the ability to make a jump shot, dribble through a trap, or thread the needle on a bounce pass. 

The anchor of our confidence isn’t based in WHAT we do. When we depend on desired results to determine our level of confidence, consistency is fleeting - and true progress is a wish. 

Basing our confidence in HOW and WHY provides a firm foundation for it to flourish. The ‘demonstrate ability’ Coach Z referenced wasn’t about making shots. It was about the confidence of knowing you can figure it out - that you’re going to put in the work to improve and continue getting better.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
So, how do we base our confidence on our process and purpose rather than the outcome? I don’t want to make the case that it's easy. If it were, then far more people would operate from a place of confidence rather than fear. However, it is simple.

  • Identify Your Purpose 
    • It’s pretty tough to anchor your confidence to something you don’t know. The ability to clearly state your purpose is empowering. Do the work to reflect, assess, and identify what it is you want to do and how you want that action to impact those around you. I should also note, you have one purpose - not a purpose at home, a purpose at work, and purpose with friends. The goal is to be able to articulate your purpose in a way that applies to all aspects of your life.

  • Pick Your Core Values
    • Your purpose is your why. Your core values are your how. These values are the way you live out your purpose. Again, if you don’t know them and truly believe in them then there is no chance they can be an anchor of confidence for you. More deep work, but well worth it. Identical to your purpose, these values should apply to all areas of your life.

  • Define Success
    • Get over how society sees success - money, fame, status, likes, retweets. All it does is lead to comparison that typically compromises our confidence. Living your purpose and core values should be at the center of your definition of success … if not, are they really your purpose and core values?

The discussion with my son should’ve circled back to his core values (Devoted, Selfless, Joy, Creative) and his purpose (to inspire people to apply their God-given gifts), which is where his confidence should be rooted. He can maintain confidence when shots aren’t going in because he knows he’s devoted, so he’s going to figure it out. He’s going to get better. That’s what devoted people do. And, by staying focused on his purpose it’s not about making or missing shots anyway. His ability to inspire others is based far more on his response to the adversity than it is to the initial result.

Focused on his values and purpose, his confidence can be the stable anchor he needs to go for it!

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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BCG Blog

2/18/2021

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Going For It

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Have you ever watched America’s Got Talent, or any of those audition type shows, and a performer comes on that seems somewhat shy or bashful, then puts on an amazing performance? One that you can’t stop watching and gives you chills?

You know what that is?

It’s your conscience telling you to go for it!

Maybe it’s not singing or playing the piano or doing a magic trick, but it’s something. There’s some area of your life that you know you aren’t taking the risks you need to take in order to reach the level you aspire to reach.

The question is, why not?

Why Should We Care?
Does it really matter what you want to do in life if you never go for it?

Does it really matter what you believe if you never act on it?

Courage is the separator. It’s not knowledge or talent that sets people apart. It’s their willingness to go for it when success isn’t imminent. Courage is the willingness to choose failure because the courageous know failure is on the path to excellence.

But, this isn’t how society tells us to operate - another reason we find it appealing … because it’s different. No, society says be perfect. Post the perfect picture of the perfect meal, record the perfect dance in the perfect outfit. It’s all so fake … and untrue. These norms push people away from daring and into a cautious mindset centered on what others think. Which is the key roadblock to the courage it takes to go for it.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
What does going for it really entail? Well, there is far more than this to it, but here are a few ideas to get you started down that road of helping those you lead cut loose.
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  • Encourage Dreams 
    • I had a parent tell me at basketball camp one year that his son told him he wanted to play in the NBA. I told him that was awesome. The dad laughed and said don’t worry, we told him to pick a more realistic dream. What?! Stop telling those you lead, or parent, they can’t be or do whatever they aspire to. That’s not your decision. It’s there’s and they’ll pick it with their actions over the next several years of their life. Help them understand what the dream will take, but never even hint that their dream is too big.
  • Choose the Process
    • Dreams don’t just happen. They’re the result of intentional, focused effort towards a specific means. When you think you’re committing to a dream, you’re really committing to the process necessary to make that dream a reality. You can’t have one without the other.
  • Choose the Sacrifice
    • What are you willing to suffer for is the real question. It doesn’t matter what you want. The only thing that matters is what you are willing to suffer for. When you decide to go for it, the suffering becomes an accepted casualty of that decision. One you no longer even measure. It just is what it is - part of the process.

Truly all in is such a cool thing to watch. Every ounce of focus and effort committed to one single act in the hopes, not facts, that it will be enough. It’s a scenario I get to see played out often as a coach. How lucky am I?!

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 

We would love to know how we could help!
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BCG BLog

2/11/2021

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Prune or Punish

Picture
There is only one meaningful purpose for imposing discipline on someone else: to change future behavior. That’s it. There is no other rational that suffices logic. Yet, we see it, and do it, all the time. 

If our goal with discipline is not to change future actions, then what is it? To show who is in charge? To make a point? To put someone in their place? I wish I could say I’ve never stooped to such low levels of leadership, but it wouldn’t be true. 

At the moment, of course, I always thought I was just leading. In retrospect, I can see how ignorant and damaging those actions were to our team and to my impact as a leader.

Why Should We Care?
This is an important topic, because from the outside pruning and punishing often look identical. I mean, discipline is discipline. Even when we choose it for ourselves it’s not exactly fun or overly enjoyable. When it’s imposed on us by others, our first reaction is to immediately see it as punishment.

But, that’s not always the case. The difference is always in the purpose.

The purpose behind punishment is easy - to make you suffer. Financially, emotionally, or physically but suffering is the primary objective. There is little, to no, long term benefit that we are aware of at the time.

For pruning my initial image is always Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid. He prunes his bonsai trees with almost as much care as he prunes Danielson. The care and love doesn’t change the expectations. It doesn’t make painting the fence or waxing the car any less of a duty of suffering. 

It’s the relationship and understanding of the purpose behind the suffering that makes both of the examples above pruning rather than punishing. 

Too often as leaders, or parents, deal out discipline without sharing the love and purpose behind it. This type of discipline is typically viewed simply as punishment.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Pruning instead of punishing is hard. It takes more time, has more risks, and involves more emotions. It requires follow-ups, messy conversations, and patience. Nonetheless, it’s at the heart of what leadership is all about. Here are a few ideas to prune rather than punish.

  • Make the Choice
    • It’s really just a choice of being transactional or transformational in your role as a leader. Transactional leaders can be very successful, punishment works to achieve results - especially short term. Transformation leaders achieve results too, sometimes a little slower, but are always more impactful long term. 

  • Build a Relationship
    • There is no pruning without a relationship first. Pruning is an expression of the love and care you have for that relationship. Your investment of time and effort expresses this love. Punishment tears at the foundation of the relationship, oftentimes saying not so gently, “If you perform at this level, we’re friends .. if you don’t, I don’t know you.”

  • Invest the Time
    • Pruning takes much more time and effort than punishment. When we punish others we usually dismiss it quickly as ‘what they deserved’. If we’re pruning, we must spend time helping the person understand why they are short of the standard and help them find ways to raise their performance to meet that standard. It’s not easy … or quick.

What do you want your impact to be? As a leader, you will leave an impact. Recognizing the opportunity to choose what it will be can be transformational to both the leader and the team.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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    I'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms.

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