 Tolerating Those Who DoThe United States Military Academy at West Point has a code of honor which states, “a cadet will not lie, steal, cheat, or tolerate those who do.” Violation of this code for a cadet results in a formal investigation and a hearing process conducted by a group of their peers. Found guilty by their peers and the case will make its way up the chain of commands.
The first part of West Point’s Honor Code is as straightforward as you can get: do not lie, steal, or cheat. This is not only typically clear for a cadet choosing to join the academy, but also fairly easy to avoid for those at West Point. After all, character, to which all those points, is a significant factor in acceptance in the first place. The challenge, for most, is certainly in the second phase of the code: do not tolerate those who do. Although we may not like it, we can usually take responsibility when we have violated a code that we have chosen to accept. The problem, or question, is what are we going to tolerate? Why Should We Care? This is not a question for leaders within the United States Military Academy. This is the question for every leader of every team in the world. Whether you lead a Top 500 Company or a start-up, a Top 25 team or a Little League team, a congregation of a thousand or a family of five, the question remains the same: what will you tolerate? See, unfortunately you don’t get what you want. You get what you tolerate. Allow your child to be disrespectful, then they’ll be disrespectful. Allow kids to have their phones out at the dinner table, then they’ll have their phones out at the dinner table. Allow team members to show up late for meetings and they’ll show up late for meetings. Of course, not all of them. But, the performance of our team will always sink to the level of our lowest denominator. So, what we are tolerating ends up being what we are getting. Clearly those at West Point understand this point clearly. In their mind, doing it and allowing it are equally damaging. Consider that for a moment. Allowing a teammate to lie is equally as damaging as lying yourself. Permitting a teammate to steal is no different than you stealing yourself. Letting a teammate cheat is equivalent to you cheating yourself. Carry that thought on out … allowing a friend to be late is equally detrimental to the team as you being late; allowing a teammate to skip reps or not touch the line is the same as you not touching the line; accepting excuses from a friend is no different than you making the excuse yourself. What you tolerate is just as much an indication of your character as what you do. REAL TALK - Action Steps Drawing a line on what we tolerate requires courage. And, courage requires confidence in who we are and what we believe. With those in place, it simply becomes a choice. Here are a few options that may help you more consistently choose what you tolerate.
What you tolerate is a reflection of your standards, not someone else’s. We like to release ourselves from responsibility when we aren’t the ones taking action. Turns out, what we do and what we tolerate are equally damning. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!
0 Comments
 Neither ExistKobe Bryant was a legendary basketball player. His size, athleticism, and skill set him apart from ninety-nine percent of all other players on the planet. Yet, what made him truly special wasn’t a physical gift or talent he developed. It was his mentality.
Kobe’s mentality was so well-known and well-respected that it was tagged with its own name: The Mamba Mentality. The name is as unique as Kobe’s view of competition. Take, for example, his take on whether he loves to win or hates to lose more. Kobe’s response: neither. He went on to explain that he believed an extreme in either direction was a weakness. Rather, he preferred to view every competition simply as an opportunity to learn. He wanted to know his own areas that were strengths or needed work. Every competition was nothing more than an experiment. His curiosity and want for growth superseded his desire for a specific outcome. Can you acknowledge how rare that is for anyone, let alone a hugely successful professional athlete that is compensated, and celebrated, almost exclusively because of those same outcomes? Pretty rare. Why Should We Care? It is this mentality to prioritize growth over outcome that fosters one of Kobe’s more poignant claims - that failure doesn’t exist. At first, the claim seems to be nothing more than semantics or a flippant, ridiculous comment to garner attention. Then he explains. “Seriously, what does failure mean? It doesn’t exist. It’s a figment of your imagination … The point is the story continues. If you fail on Monday the only way that’s a failure is if you choose to not progress from that. So, to me, that’s why failure’s not existent. If I fail today then I’m gonna learn something from that failure and I’m going to try again on Tuesday. And, if I fail, I'm gonna try again on Wednesday. It doesn’t exist.” It’s a powerful framework that robs failure of the fear it showers most people in. Knowing the story continues is reassuring and empowering. It evokes the courage to press the edges of our abilities and exit our comfort zones with no fear. Free of the need for the desired outcome, Kobe released himself to become the ultimate version of himself. Here’s the thing: Success doesn’t exist either. Just like failure, it’s a figment of our imaginations. And, from my experiences, buying into the reality of success is just as dangerous as that of failure. While the perception of success can breed success, it can also foster contentment and entitlement. Both of which are debilitating to our future production. Removing the concept of success from our mindset shines a brighter light on our process. It allows us to focus on becoming rather than arriving. The success we think we experience is nothing more than a part of the next process. REAL TALK - Action Steps In addition to a heightened focus on the process, eliminating the concepts of success and failure ultimately lead to acceptance. From acceptance we have the power to guide our lives in the best ways we see fit. Here are a few ideas on eliminating success and failure from your mindset.
Although we like to label experiences, and sometimes people, as successes or failures, the truth is they are neither. The experiences are all part of the process and the people simply becoming. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  The CelebrationsSo far this fall I’ve watched two weekends of high school football and one weekend of college football. I’m happy to see our student-athletes compete and the college athletes showcase their talents against other equally talented peers. I’ve always enjoyed the community and team aspect of football.
The uniqueness of roles is appealing. There is very little overlap. In sports like basketball and soccer everyone pretty much does everything. Baseball and softball have clear roles defensively while all come together offensively in virtually the same role. In football, the clarity of role is refreshing. The quarterback takes the snap, hands the ball off, or throws it to a receiver. The linemen block. The running back runs the ball. The receiver catches the ball. The kicker kicks the ball. The team would be in trouble if, say, the linemen decided they would like to throw the ball rather than block or the running back would rather kick than run. It’s truly poetry when everyone fills their role to the best of their ability and the play works to perfection. Each player can take pride in doing their job and contributing to the success of the play. Enough successful plays and the team wins the game, not enough and the team loses. It’s a pretty simple equation. So, it makes sense that we should celebrate those positive plays throughout the game. The more of them we have the better, right? Why Should We Care? Celebrations are driven by emotion. Emotions evoke feelings that inevitably impact our behaviors. It would be great if we could separate the two, but unfortunately we’re terrible at doing that. And, it’s naive to think we will be better in the future. Our behaviors are central to our lives. They define who we are, as well as, who we will become. They determine where we are going and what we will accomplish. It’s our behaviors that dictate our priorities and identify our mission. These behaviors are initiated by either our identity or our emotions. One is inherently better than the other. If our emotions drive our behaviors then they will ride the same tidal waves as those emotions. The behaviors that we depend on to execute and perform will be the pawns of our feelings. As a result, our identity will merely be the varying reflection of our feelings. We will be who our feelings say we are in that moment. And, that rollercoaster is a really hard one to get off of. The other option is to discipline ourselves to allow our behaviors, then our feelings, to flow from our identity rather than the other way around. When we are in tune with our identity we establish a consistency in our actions that stabilizes our emotions. Thus, we free ourselves from the ebbs and flows of the emotional rollercoaster. Our performance is always best with option two. REAL TALK - Action Steps Back to the celebrations. Imagine the drastic fluctuation in emotions throughout a game. With every play benefitting your team comes a rush of positive emotions. This tidal wave, though desired in the moment, is something you will undoubtedly need to come down and recover from. Just consider how many of those plays could happen during the course of a game. We spend more time regulating our feelings than we do focusing on our responsibilities and our team. Here are few ideas on working from our identity rather than our feelings:
Competition is an emotional endeavor. Nothing is wrong with having them or sharing them. However, in order to be at our best we must regulate them. Allowing our identity to determine our behaviors and our behaviors to direct our emotions we set the stage for our best to consistently show up. Plus, we don’t look like we’re shocked to make a good play! For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  The Value of FoxholesThink about a time you have experienced great success or joy in your life and look around. Take note of the people that were there to celebrate with you and rejoice in your success.
Next, think about a time you were really struggling or going through a really hard time in your life and look around. Take note of the people that were there to console you and share in your struggle. Finally, think back to a time you were getting off track from the person you want to be. You were making decisions and taking actions that did not align with your values and character. Take note of the people that called it to your attention and the people that ignored it or just faded away from a relationship all together. There is certainly overlap in these three groups, but they are not all the same people. The group that celebrates our success is always the largest group, we’ll call them acquaintances. They know us and we know them. People love to be around, and associated with, success. There’s nothing wrong with that. We can learn a lot from watching how people attaining excellence think, speak, and act. However, the people only in this group are nothing more than fanboys. Be wary. The group that mourns with you will always be a subgroup of the people that celebrate with you. These people are your friends. They go out of their way to help, encourage, and support you in whatever is happening in your life. Our friends provide substance and fabric to our lives. Though we have a deep appreciation for and from these people, we need to remember they are friends and not all of them are members of the third group. The final subgroup is your foxhole. This group is small. The willingness to tell you the truth, especially when you do not want to hear it, is a separating factor among friends. It is the defining factor for those in your foxhole. They’ll always be there to celebrate with you. They’ll always be there to support you when you need it. But, more importantly they’ll always tell you what you need to hear over what you want to hear. Why Should We Care? Honesty is a difficult characteristic to come by, especially when it isn’t wanted. Finding people that are willing to give it to us that we can trust is of paramount importance if we have any interest in becoming the best version of ourselves. It’s a mission no amount of personal reflection, willpower, and awareness can support. We need others. And, our foxhole people are the best ‘others’. Our foxhole people make major contributions to our lives in a number of ways. Whether we realize it or not, they often significantly influence numerous choices that directly impact the trajectory of our lives. These people, more than anyone else, need our attention. That is, if we’re willing to give it. Our foxhole will drive our initiative to act. Nothing works unless we do. Your foxhole knows this. They model it and they value it. We need to do nothing more than observe the people in our foxhole. They are undoubtedly doers. They may be thoughtful and creative. They may propose ideas and suggest numerous solutions, but one thing is for sure: when it’s time to act, they’re at the front of the line. Oh yea, and when we are hesitating to act, they’ll call us on it. Our foxhole will push our willingness to struggle. Adversity makes us stronger. We know it but we still avoid it. We run from it rather than run to it. Our foxhole holds a perspective that allows them to see the value in the struggle along with the courage to push us towards it. They speak confidence into us, reaffirming that we will be better because of it. They soften the fall when we fail, reminding us that simply choosing to embrace the struggle is often the first step to progress. And, if we think about taking the easy road, they’ll call us on it. Our foxhole will grow our resolve to persist. Consistency fuels excellence. It’s not talent or brilliance. It’s consistency that wins. The willingness to fully embrace the value of delayed gratification is something only foxhole people are able to truly remind you of. The reason is because they’re invested in the relationship forever. It’s a long-term thing. They persist in the relationship. Good or bad, they’re there and they aren’t going anywhere. They help us act. They help us struggle. They help us persist. That’s how we grow. REAL TALK - Action Steps Our foxhole people make major contributions to our lives in a number of ways. Here are a few ways to be sure your foxhole relationships are impacting your life as much as they can.
Our foxhole is our people. Those are the ones we experience this life with. They are critical to your pursuit of excellence, but also to the joy you will experience. Take the time to be intentional and aware of who is in your foxhole and the value you add to each other’s life. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Quiet TimeHave you noticed how many people just walk around with earbuds, or airpods, in their ears? If you haven’t, now you will. It’s a lot - a whole lot. What are they listening to all the time? Or, are they just in case the most important phone call in the world comes in?
The next time you’re at the grocery store take a look at the people in line. If they are not actively checking out, and even sometimes when they are, ninety percent of them will be staring at their phones. What are they looking at, scrolling through? The percentage is nearly the same for the people that wake-up and immediately check their phone for notifications and emails. Don’t we think that if it was that important, they would’ve just called? It’s all noise. And, I think we are running to the noise to avoid the silence. Why Should We Care? That silence we are avoiding is the only place to find our true self. And, it’s only through our true self that we can have the impact on the world we were meant to have. Our true self is there. For most of us it’s just hidden. Our true self is kind of like a dusty mirror that needs to be wiped off and cleaned a little bit. The problem is, in today’s world, the dust doesn’t stop raining down. The dust shows up as music, phones, books, podcasts, work obligations, family responsibilities, personal challenges, and the list goes on and on. It’s not that any of it is bad, but it is all potential noise. Noise is something we put up with, we endure. It doesn’t really move us forward or help those around us. It doesn’t provide impact or even reflect who we are or what we believe. Noise feeds our desire to consume rather than create, to vegetate rather than initiate. If we are not careful, our days passively consuming will become weeks. The weeks will become months and the months will become years. Putting an end to this consumption is the key to unlocking our true self. One of the first steps to moving away from a mindset of consumption is to step into silence. Silence offers the space for self-understanding and creation. With enough of it we will stop mimicking and begin being. The world throws too much dust our way to sift through it without intentional time to discover what we really think, what we really believe, and who we truly are. That time must be quiet. Without silence, we stand no chance. REAL TALK - Action Steps Finding time to create silence is becoming harder and harder. It seems the world is on a quest to eliminate it all together. It does remain our choice, however. Here are a few ideas to help you choose a quiet time that works for you.
To serve others we must first serve ourselves by making sure we are bringing the best version of ourselves to the table. This doesn’t happen by chance. Finding regular quiet time is the first step on the path to the best version of yourself. Without it, we are merely drifting, or worse yet, copying the lives of others. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Just Keep SwingingOur team retreat prior to the start of our season is always one of the experiences our players cite as the most memorable of their high school careers. Though it lasts less than 24 hours, its impact often lasts a lifetime.
We do several things on the retreat including setting our team goal for the season, a grueling partner workout, capture the flag in the woods, and even some paintball to finish things off. However, the most anticipated activity is none of those. It's also the most impactful. For the past 12 years each player at the retreat has chopped down a tree. Most of our players have never held an ax, much less used one to chop down a dead tree in the middle of the woods. They all look forward to it, but they are clearly out of their comfort zones. All of our players approach it in different ways. The guys that have played baseball rare back and take huge hacks, attempting to demonstrate their beautiful home run swing that’s sure to knock the tree over in just a few swings. We have the smart guys that carefully negotiate for the sharpest ax then calculate every swing to be sure they’re striking the tree in just the right sport. And, we usually end up with at least one guy that’s so uncomfortable with the ax in his hands that he chokes halfway up the handle to insure more control, lightning the blows but double the frequency. The best part of the whole experience is that they all end up in the same place. After about ten minutes of consistent swinging, shedding a layer of clothing, adjusting their strategy a few times, and making virtually now significant progress, they all begin looking around at their coaches and teammates. And, they ask, “What do I do now?” The answer, though clear, is not what they want to hear. Keep swinging. Why Should We Care? The more I read and study leadership and personal development, the more I realize the value of consistency. Show up over and over and over, and eventually - poof, you’re better. It doesn’t feel much like magic though. The truth is, most people quit. Maybe for good reasons, maybe for bad ones, but most people tap out. It becomes too uncomfortable or inconvenient. It doesn’t produce significant results quickly enough. The repetitive nature of the consistent action becomes boring. Who knows? There are certainly times to change course. All the time is not the time. If we are willing to take an in depth look at excellence, in ourselves and others, what we will realize is that every single area of excellence was founded on consistency. Some may start further ahead than others but consistency is required regardless. There are no exceptions. If we just consider the players chopping down trees, the same is true. Regardless of their experience, approach, and strength all of the players get to the same point of contemplation and begin asking themselves questions. What do I need to do differently? How can I make this go faster? Am I doing something wrong? Is there a best form and approach for chopping down a tree? Sure. Is there a best way to hold the ax, plant your feet, and extend your arms? Sure. Would that speed up the process? Sure. But, so often we spend too much time trying to figure out the best way and lose sight of the only way we will ever get the tree to the ground … by continuing to swing. REAL TALK - Action Steps Maintaining a focus on consistency is not easy. Everything around us tells us to jump ship and choose the flavor of the month. Nonetheless, consistency is always a significant part of the answer. Here are a few ways to double down on consistency.
No matter how large the tree or small the swings, the tree always comes down. It’s the consistency of hundreds of swings that makes the difference, not the power of any single one. The same is true for us. It may seem like today’s actions don’t matter. In truth, they’re the only ones that do. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  No Retreat, FULL SurrenderWhenever I hear the “no retreat” the image of the Spartans in the movie 300 pops into my head. Armed with nothing more than shields and spears, the army of a measly 300 soldiers hold their ground against the mightiest of opponents.
Naturally, “no retreat” is typically followed by “no surrender” which I feel needs an asterisk. The Spartans certainly would never consider surrendering to the Persians, but they did surrender well before any battle began. Their commitment, their loyalty could never have been so steadfast if left to their own will. No, they surely surrendered - to Sparta. To look at it from a different perspective, consider prisons for a moment. Who do you think the most powerful people in prisons are? It’s not the guards or wardens. It’s not necessarily even the most violent criminals serving time. The most powerful people in the prison are always those serving life sentences. There is no retreat, not because they refuse to surrender but because they’ve been forced to surrender. They are out of options, so they surrender to the life of a man spending his remaining years in prison. Oddly enough, our lives align with this as well. Why Should We Care? See, we all surrender. It’s just a matter of what, or whom, it’s to. Some people surrender to greed. They work hours upon hours in an effort to get ahead, provide more for their family, take the next great vacation, buy a nicer house, impress their co-workers, … They chase their dream of wealth with no consideration of retreating. But, they’ve definitely surrendered to their pursuit of more. Some people surrender to their desires to be liked. They morph their words, actions, and eventually thoughts to match whatever they think other people want from them. Their pursuit of popularity and acceptance never draws back. These people have not only surrendered, they’ve laid down their own identity in hopes of being accepted as a cheap imitation of someone else. They’ve surrendered their true self. Some people surrender to mediocrity. They become so in love with their own ego that anything causing imbalance to their ideal self is a threat. This fear paralyzes growth, yet the comfort of safety keeps beckoning. They won’t retreat for fear of being discovered as the fraud they suspect they are. But, the white flag of surrender is clear to see. They surrender their potential. Of course, there’s many, many more things we surrender to. Surrendering isn’t really an option in life. We’re going to surrender to something. REAL TALK - Action Steps Why not intentionally give ourselves to something worthy of the one life we get to live? We may not realize it, but the decision is ours to make. It need not be left up to chance. Here are a few areas of life worth a full surrender and no retreat.
I read a phrase many years ago that’s always stuck with me: “a man praying on his knees never has to retreat”. Fully surrendered and accepting of his fate, retreating becomes unnecessary. Rather than chasing his will, he embraces the will set forth for him. We should all pray from our knees. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Treats That ServeOur Basset Hound, Izzy, is a slave to treats. Simply uttering the word turns a stubborn, uninterested pet into a fully engaged, willing servant - ready to respond to every beck and call. A treat is, without a shadow of a doubt, the secret sauce to the undivided attention of Izzy.
The goal for Izzy is very simple: get the treat. Whatever is asked of her, whatever the treat-holder is requesting is what she will do. To say she is results driven is a gross understatement. But hey, it’s worked out pretty well for her so far! We, however, are not dogs. And, as leaders, we are inevitably the treat-holders. So, what do we do with them? It’s a more significant question than you might think. Wield too liberally and nothing gets done without a treat being given. Hold them too close and hopelessness begins to rear its head as despair steps forward. Just consider Izzy again. If she gets a treat every time she behaves appropriately, it won’t be long until she only behaves appropriately when she’s going to get a treat. The balance we strike is critical to our development and success. And, it’s really not a balance of power as much as it’s a balance of relationships. Why Should We Care? One of the primary characteristics of people on the path to excellence is their understanding of the importance of relationships. Those that value excellence fully understand, and intentionally live, the fact that the only relationship we have with others is identical to the relationship we have with ourselves. Those of us that are critical of others are usually critical of ourselves, though we would likely withhold announcing our shortcomings as publicly as we would that of others. Those of us that are kind to others are usually conscious of giving themselves grace when they fall short of their own expectations. Those of us that hold ourselves to high standards are usually the ones pushing the standards of the people around them. Those of us that are accepting of the differences of others are usually accepting of the fact that they too, are quite different. Treats fall into this category as well. REAL TALK - Action Steps As leaders, we should consider how we are using the treats at our disposal. Do they propel ourselves and our people towards excellence or do they provide them with the false sense of security that they’ve arrived at excellence?
Treats can serve a purpose. They should not be the purpose. Finding ways to recognize and support yourself and your team on the path to excellence. This is what treats are meant for. Enjoy the process - you’ll be much more likely to continue it! For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  There Is No ThereSummer seems to bring more travel for most people. As families set off on their much anticipated vacations, they inevitably punch the desired location into their GPS. No more folded up maps from the glovebox or printed sheets from MapQuest.
The GPS takes care of all of it. Estimated arrival time, remaining miles, and the time left in our trip are all displayed and adjusted in real time. Heck, they’ll even alert you to potential speed traps, obstacles on roads, and traffic jams. Of course, before any of these services are engaged we have to input our destination. Without knowing where we are going, none of the amenities our GPS offers are of any good. Although we would like for our pursuits in life to be as clean, and simple, as our GPS directions, they’re not. Could you imagine potential obstacle alerts, slowed traffic, or alternate route suggestions?! But the truth is, we don’t want it to be. Why Should We Care? Though we spend most of our time trying to keep life clean and orderly, we eventually realize it’s all the off-road, unbeaten paths, and wrong turns that make life worth living. Where we think we’re going is hardly ever where we end up. Or, if we do happen to end up at the destination we set out to reach, we recognize the process of getting there far exceeds the experience of being THERE. Society and personal growth gurus would like to have us believe that we all should be reaching up for the next rung on the ladder, climbing our way to a better future - always trying to get THERE. Good enough never is and some always leaves us wanting more. Of course, we bite. We work the extra hours at the expense of the people we love. We take the promotion, leaving a job we were perfectly suited for and enjoyed. We move away from friends and family in an effort to position ourselves for the next great opportunity to advance. All in the pursuit of THERE. The thing is, there is no there. Sure, we want to set goals and have ambitions in order to stretch ourselves. We want to work to maximize our potential and become the best we can possibly become at whatever we do. But we never find those things THERE. We always find them on the way. REAL TALK - Action Steps Our fulfillment isn’t positional. It’s operational. What and why we do things is what will determine our impact and fulfillment much more so than where we do it. Here’s a few ideas on how to “Make the Big Time Where You Are”, as Frosty Westering’s great book suggests.
There is no there. We are never getting there. And, truth be told, we don’t really want to get there. Life is only lived here, where our feet are. Stay here. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help!  Change the QuestionI had a player that I was struggling to get the most out of. As a coach, or leader, part of our goal is always to bring the very best out of each member of our team. It’s not always easy, we fail often, but this is always the charge.
This particular player was beginning to become frustrated with himself. And, I can’t say I was not closing in on frustration myself. I continually asked myself what was wrong with him, what his deal was! His performance was declining quickly. In part due to his play and in part due to his attitude regarding his play. As the season wore on, it became clear that he may not come out of his funk at all. Our coaching staff racked our brains for the answer that would unlock this player’s potential. It could not be that significant of an issue - he was a good kid, played hard, and tried to do what we asked him to do. We eventually cracked the code with an exercise we call “Show Me Love” in which each member or our team shares how they best receive love and appreciation. The answers vary much more than you might think, but the power of the exercise doesn’t lie in each individual’s response. This exercise only comes to life when leaders and team members apply what they learned. In this player’s case, one of the ways to show him love was to tell him jokes. As odd as that sounds, knowing this was only beneficial if we acted on it. So, we did. Every day in practice one of our assistant coaches would write down a few short jokes to share with this player at various times during practice. The impact was incredible. The low energy kid, trudging through practice just to reach the end almost immediately turned into a laughing, smiling ball of joy that infected everyone around him. Why Should We Care? Following the season we went through our regular postseason reflection to examine what went well and what we need to do differently to improve for the future. Many things came up within our discussions including the drastic change in the player mentioned above. In contemplating the situation, we came to the conclusion that it was our fault it took him so long to realize and perform at his potential. Now, that’s not revolutionary, of course. As the leaders, we should be assuming the responsibility for everything that happens on our team. It’s all our fault. However, the fault didn’t lie in a lack of caring or action. Our mistake was more foundational than that. We were asking the wrong question at the start. The initial response by a leader for an underperforming team member is usually, “what is wrong with him?” This line of thinking places responsibility solely on the subject of the question while releasing you from any duty in the matter. “What’s wrong with him?” is the wrong question. We should be asking, “what happened to him?” and “how can I help him?”. These are questions that lead to fruitful answers and impactful actions. By sharing in the problem we take the first step in any positive relationship: trust. REAL TALK - Action Steps This is most likely not your default mindset - to immediately become curious about why someone acts the way they do. Yet, it is undoubtedly the mindset that sets us up to be the best version of ourselves. Here are a few ideas to help you ask the right question.
The questions we ask are often more telling than the answers we get. Oftentimes our undisclosed purpose lies within the very questions we ask. Consider them carefully. For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. We would love to know how we could help! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
September 2023
Categories |
RSS Feed