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Suffocating Excuses

It’s still a clear memory. One we had spent the last several months fighting for. It finally happened. In the heat of the game, while emotions ran high, he chose to ignore it. Sure, there were several justifiable reasons to accept it, but he chose not to. It was an excuse.

Instead of turning out, he turned in. He opened his arms instead of closing them, seeking help rather than fanning strength. He accepted reality and gained respect because he chose to ignore an excuse.

When facing adversity he used to seek the sympathy of a victim. Now he was owning the challenges just as much as the successes.  Rather than hiding, he was confronting. Growth, from that point, was inevitable.

The team had become the priority. 
Now, he had a chance.
Now, we had a chance.

All by simply suffocating a plausible excuse.

Why Should We Care?
As long as we are making excuses, we aren’t doing much else. Our resilience is at the mercy of our willingness to accept an excuse. Grow our ability to deny excuses and we move closer and closer to resilience. And, it’s our capacity to persist that will ultimately chart the future of our life. 

Excuses give us an out. Have you ever noticed that tough people and excuses don’t mix? They’re never together. You’ve never heard someone make an excuse, walk away and think, “Man, what a warrior. She’s so tough.”

An excuse is nothing more than a want for sympathy. We say something like, “I didn’t know”, or do something like, turn our palms up in desperation, as a means to share with those around us that we are not at fault. It’s one of our ego’s defense mechanisms to protect itself. But, our ego doesn’t need protecting. It needs exposure, at least if leading and growing are some of our pursuits. 

Until we become aware of our excuse making habit and intentionally choose to redirect it, we are at the mercy of our emotions. We are a slave to the weakest version of ourselves. Nothing compromises our potential and impact more than our willingness to accept excuses.

It’s an odd habit too because it ultimately benefits no one. The excuse-giver feels the momentary warmth of sympathy, only to have it replaced by the cold reality of diminishing personal standards and a depleted self-worth. The excuse-hearer is taxed with the burden of accepting or rejecting the excuse, and the choice of whether to feed into self-pity or provide a jolt of truth. 

REAL TALK - Action Steps
I’m convinced most people don’t want to make excuses. It’s become such a mode of operation that we are oblivious to its occurrence. Awareness is the first step. Here are a few thoughts on becoming more aware of the excuses we make: 

• Yea Buts … 
  
  • Whether you say it or just think it, the “Yea But” mindset is a clear indicator that excuses are on the way. We attempt to gain some acceptance with our agreement then make a plea for sympathy with our excuse. It helps no one. Just stop saying it.
    

• The Blame Game
  
  • If nothing is ever your fault, then you are probably an expert at making excuses. The more blame you pass, the more excuses you are making. Fault passed is an opportunity missed. Fault embraced is a life-blood to humility, growth, and strength. Stop blaming other people.
    

• Deny and Defend
  
  • Every argument is a race to become a victim. Victims make excuses. Don’t be a victim.
    

Ignoring, suffocating, and eradicating excuses will change your life. Give it a go.

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