bcg blog

Grass-Stained Knees

Graham North Elementary school in the no traffic light town of Rosewood, Ohio is alive with a few hundred of Champaign County’s most untamed beasts: kindergarten through fourth grade students. The air in the building is filled with the perfect blend of loving support from teachers that truly cared and nerve-rattling unease from, well, a few hundred six through ten year olds.

It’s 1987 and none of that matters because today we have a football game. The same game we’ve had for the last four days. But, this one is for the championship - all the marbles. That’s right, we were going to decide once and for all which team was the best … for this week - we’ll pick new teams next week … and do it all over again. But, for now, this is IT!

We get organized for recess before the bell even rings. I’ve got the football. That’s all we need. We know the boundaries. We know the teams. Now we just wait for the bell to launch us into our sprint to the field, an experience I’m sure most teachers compare to the annual running of the bulls.

The waiting is always the worst part. I’ve been waiting since the whistle yesterday called us to line-up and go back inside - easily the worst part of every day, I might add. But, the wait is over. The bell rings and we’re off. The sprint is on.

I’m first to the field which means it’s our ball. Suckers walk - they have to go to the other end of the field and kick-off to us. I’m ready. I’ve got my best sweatpants on, with the bottoms pulled up just below my knee as if I’m leading off for the Yankees. Best, by the way, is all about performance and has absolutely nothing to do with appearance - nothing. The same goes for my tall white socks yanked up to meet my sweatpants and the tattered t-shirt topping off the outfit. My school outfit for the day is based solely on what will give us the best chance to win.

The most competitive game of recess football - two-hand touch as far as the teachers were concerned - is played that day. Touchdowns are caught, airborne high fives are everywhere, and grass-stains are forever etched into the knees of our sweatpants … I mean, did you even play if you didn’t have any grass-stains? 

No. No, you didn’t.
The grass-stains were the whole point.

Why Should We Care?
We should care because competing just to compete is being lost. We’re so worried about what we’re going to get or who we’re competing against that we we’re starting to lose the entire purpose of competition: growth, struggle, improvement!

Competition is becoming a risk-management decision. Does this hurt my image if I lose? It’ll be better if I don’t put everything into it so I can say I didn’t really try, right? Wouldn’t want to be a ‘try-hard’ after all. What if I go for it and don’t get it? Does that kill my career? What are other people going to think of me? What excuses can I have pre-loaded to soften the blow in case I lose? Is there a way to be really good without doing all the work, making all the sacrifices, and giving up all my time? How far out of my comfort zone is enough? Is there a way I can just appear like I’m a success, without having to do all that?

These questions running through our heads are tragic in two fundamental ways: 1. We stop competing; 2. We focus solely on competing with others. All of the questions above are tied to one of these misguided approaches to competition. No competition ultimately leads to a life that reflects back with the unshakable question: What if? We will always wonder what we were capable of doing, who we could’ve impacted, and what true fulfillment actually feels like. Comparison-based competition will take us to a different question: Am I enough? And, if all we do is compare, the accurate answer is ‘No’. There will be no escaping the exhaustion of the chase, the feeling that we don’t belong, and the uneasiness in our own skin.

As smart as we are, fourth graders are the wise ones in this area.
They’re just trying to get more grass-stains.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Here are the grass-stained answers for the questions above:

• Does this hurt my image if I lose? 
  
  • Yea for a little bit maybe … until recess tomorrow, but probably not even that long. And, no one outside the game cares.
    
• If I don’t put everything into it I can act like I don’t care, right?
  
  • That’s an approach you can take but you’re about to be the last pick … because we’re trying to win. This choice aligns you with those accepting mediocrity, not those pursuing excellence.
    
• What if I go for it and don’t get it?
  
  • That’s ok. Those are the grass-stains. That’s what we're the most proud of anyway. Plus, you’ll be that much closer to getting it the next time.
    
• Does this kill my career?
  
  • No. It most likely makes your career. You’ll eventually get it and those people always end up better in the end. You’ll be stronger, more resilient, more persistent, more determined. 
    
• What are other people going to think of me?
  
  • First, they probably aren’t going to think of you. Second, who cares what the four-square people say. Third, if you have grass-stains they’ll think of you just like you would hope they would, eventually. If you don’t have grass-stains … well, see 2 & 3 above.
    
• What excuses can I have preloaded to soften the blow in case I lose?
  
  • Don’t make one. Say this instead: we lost today. We’ve got another game tomorrow. We’ll be ready. No excuse is a good excuse. None. Suffocating excuses is a superpower.
    
• Is there a way to be really good without doing all the work, making all the sacrifices, and giving up all my time?
  
  • No. Stop looking for one and just do the work. You can’t fake grass-stains.
    
• How far out of my comfort zone is enough?
  
  • All the way. Grass-stains come with dirt. 
    
• Is there any way I can just appear like I’m a success, without having to do all that?
  
  • Appear? Yes, it’s called social media. It fools the four-square players, but not the ones on the field getting the grass-stains.
    

We don’t get grass-stains from standing on the sidelines. We don’t get grass-stains from playing it safe or hedging our bets. To get grass-stains we have to compete. Sometimes we’ll win and sometimes we’ll lose, but if we’re doing it right we’ll always leave with grass-stained knees.

Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!