bcg blog

Perfectly Imperfect

We’re coming off our first loss of the season. We have a great group of guys this season. Each individual is fully invested in their role and prioritizes the team ahead of themselves. It’s a fun group to coach. Of course, that’s not a challenging perspective since we won our first three games by double digits. Now we’ll find out what the group is really like. Everyone is happy when it’s seventy-five and sunny.

It’s not seventy-five and sunny now. We were out-played in our recent loss. They were tougher than us, competed harder than us, and ultimately made the plays necessary down the stretch to win the game. No more pretending. The truth is out: we’re not perfect.

Our season won’t be determined by the loss. Or, maybe it will be. Time will tell. Our hope is that it will be determined by our response to it. The adversity could push us to hold ourselves and teammates more accountable, increase the intentionality and consistency of critical details, and drive us to pour ourselves even more into our roles on the team. But, we realize the adversity could just as easily push us to pass blame rather than take responsibility, trigger apathy rather than focus, and cause us to withdraw from the team rather than lean into it.

I like the chances of this group though. That’s not to say we’ll win the rest of our games or a state championship. It just means I think we have a chance to maximize our potential. This group has a key characteristic that all great teams possess: shared ownership. They all think the loss is their fault. 

They know they aren’t perfect.
Which is right where we want to be.

Why Should We Care?
In this same time frame, our senior leader, and one of our best players, expressed an ongoing struggle with holding other people accountable when he isn’t playing as well. His concern is losing the trust of teammates when he is making mistakes. It’s a common and understandable concern, but in this case an unfounded one. 

He is clearly the leader of our team. And, as much as his level of play has garnered the attention of others outside the program, those inside the program have been steadily drawn to his consistency of work and unselfishness for years. His leadership has blossomed not because of what he’s done, but because of how he’s done it. His toughness, work ethic, and commitment to the team and program are unquestionable. He is a standard bearer in our program.

He demands respect by his actions, and is now figuring out how to use his words. He’s built trust through his steadfast behavior, not his flawless performance. It’s ironic that those he leads are drawn to him because they’ve seen him work through the very failures he is concerned about. 

Everyone of our failures has the potential to draw others closer to us. Similar to our team’s first loss, it’s all about how we handle it. Vulnerability is an agent of trust. Others can deal with a lot less perfection than we realize when we relentlessly admit and confront our failures.

No one we lead is looking for perfection - they can’t relate to it. 

REAL TALK - Action Steps
As much as we all would like to be perfect, the reality is we shouldn’t even be thinking about it. Instead we need to be more intentional about embracing our shortcomings - even searching for them. Here are a few ideas on appreciating the value of our flaws.

• Reflect 
  
  • Think about your greatest accomplishments or moments you are the most proud of. All of them were likely preceded by some sort of adversity. The appreciation we have for those times is only possible because of the struggle that led to them. We can’t dismiss the value of the challenge and the opportunity for growth it offers.
    

• Act
  
  • In order to take full advantage of adversity, it’s critical that we recognize the value in the moment. We can’t act in retrospect. We can only capitalize on the opportunity in the present. If we aren’t careful, we will miss these while sulking or pouting. Replace your regret with gratitude and intentionally place yourself in rooms and situations that push your edges.
    

• Share
  
  • We should become comfortable with sharing our shortcomings. Not to the point of sharing private, trivial nuisances, but as a means to connecting and appreciating each other's challenges. Our scars tell our stories better than our trophies.
    

While our successes mark our path, it’s our failures that clear the way. They should demand just as much of our attention and appreciation. 

Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!

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