bcg blog

Senior Nights

The black t-shirts with the gold Superman logo are folded neatly in each senior’s locker, their jersey and shorts hanging above them. Tonight our six seniors will be wearing these shirts for our warm-ups in place of their traditional pre-game attire. They’ve spent their careers conforming to the group, conceding their preferences for the standards of the team. Tonight they’ll look different. They’ll do it together, but differently.

Following our final pre-game meeting with the team to review our scouting report I present each senior with letters from their parents. Several weeks prior I asked each parent to write their son a letter reflecting on their basketball journey, which for most is coming to an end - more than a decade of time to become a memory. A few read their letters right away, but most wait. Most get emotional, more than they expect. The smart ones take them home where there is time and space to reflect and appreciate the sentiments from their parents privately.

We ask our players to share their memories as well. Each senior writes his parents a letter which we present to them just before senior night. In it we encourage them to not only reflect on the last ten years of basketball they’ve experienced, but also on what sharing it with their parents has meant to them. And, of course, say thank you. The letter is a great reminder that they did not get where they are by themselves.

Our final tradition prior to the start of our senior’s last home game also takes place in our locker room, the space many of these guys have spent mountains of time. Our team returns to the locker room midway through our warm-ups to receive matchups and our final game plan reminders. On this night our senior parents join us in the locker room to close out pre-game. Following our normal routine, our seniors stand at their lockers while the underclassmen, coaches, and senior parents make their way around to thank and congratulate each senior. There are usually some tears, but a lot more hugs.

Then, our team takes the floor for the last time of the season. 
And, for our seniors, the final time.

Why Should We Care?
Finality is an illusion most of the time … well, maybe all the time. 
But, it is a great reminder and reflection point if we’ll embrace it.

While these rights of passage feel like the end; they are really just opportunities to recognize, appreciate, and act on the lessons learned. Sure that phase of life fades away from us and the impending change may generate undesirable emotions, but the growth we’ve experienced throughout that time doesn’t need to be lost. However, in order to be sure we capture and capitalize on this knowledge, we must take the time to stop and identify exactly what we want to carry with us.

Without this intention, we will move blindly from one experience to another with no change of behavior. And, if your behavior is never changed by the experiences of our lives, how are we to ever grow and progress? How will we improve and get better? Those are pretty easy questions: we won’t.

The speed of life fools us into believing that we don’t have time to slow down and reflect, to stop and remember. It’s also an illusion. In reality, it’s the only way forward.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
When we reflect, one of the first things we realize is the importance of our relationships. It’s less about what we do on the journey and more about who we’re with. Here are a few ideas for creating reflection points and taking inventory once you’re there:

• Create Rituals 
  
  • Rituals are sticky experiences that we see others pass through and then desire to make a part of our lives. Most rituals mark the beginning or the end of a phase of work or life. These are the ideal times to reflect on the experience and adjust our behaviors accordingly. By making the ritual an integral part of the phase we can engineer growth consistently.
    

• After Action Reviews
  
  • AARs are a specific process used to reflect and gather feedback to improve the next iteration. AARs can be applied to phases of life just like they can be applied to specific events or projects. Consider the most important questions to be answered and the processes that lead to the results you desire - that’s your AAR.
    

• Honor Your People
  
  • As much as these rights of passage provide opportunity for growth, we should never forget that the primary purpose is to honor our people. The appreciation and love we share is not only impactful for the recipient but it is witnessed by others who, one day, hope to feel that same love. Appreciation and love pay exponential dividends.
    

What seems like an end is usually an opportunity - and it’s always a new beginning. If used correctly, these bridges to the future provide us with some of our best pathways to improvement.

Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!