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Giving & Receiving

It’s 6:00 am Christmas morning, I’m eight years old, and there are presents begging to be opened. I’m wide awake but my cool teenage roomate, also my brother, is still sound asleep. I weigh the risks of waking him, which mainly consists of a physical beating, but the excitement wins out and I begin nudging him - hoping he would join me on my perusal of the goods. 

To my surprise, he agrees and we sneak out of our bedroom to the living room, lit bright by the multi-color lights draped around our Christmas tree. We examine each gift carefully, placing rhetorical bets on the contents of each package. One box catches our eyes. We both have one … and they look exactly the same. His too-old-for-this attitude is shifting back to one of childlike joy.

We need to get this show on the road. We wake up mom and dad. They take for-ev-er to get to the living room, but we wait patiently. OK, patiently is a stretch, but we wait. Finally we start passing out presents. My brother and I have four each, plus a stocking. Mom and dad each have one, which they quickly toss to the side as we dig in.

In no time we are down to a single package - the one that matches. We tear it open at the same time revealing something we hadn’t even asked for but gladly accept: remote control cars. Not just cars, but off-road dune buggies. Yes, I can now see that it wasn’t that big of a deal but at that moment it might as well have been real cars. Our minds raced bouncing ideas back and forth to each other faster than a ping-pong match over what we might do first. 

It turns out, we never make it past our first idea. We begin our driving careers with one objective: to be a menace to our two cats. We are enjoying it, but mom is not. Neither are the cats. That’s when my brother comes up with one of his best ideas ever:

“Hey, why don’t we tie a hot dog to the back of the cars so the cats chase them?”

The rest of our Christmas break from school was now spoken for. We spent hours, then days, racing our cars around the house and yard with our two cats in hot pursuit. It was a great time - for us and the cats.

Why Should We Care?
I don’t know when the pendulum swings for most people but at some point in our lives a desire to receive gives way to a passion for giving. Atleast, I hope it does because giving is so much better.

Now on the other side of the holiday ritual, it’s easy to see that my brother and I weren’t the happiest people that Christmas morning. Mom and dad were. Their gift connected their sons. It connected our family. We laughed. We reenacted. We schemed. What a gift to give. 

Of course, my brother and I were oblivious to this realization at that moment. We just played. No worry, no concern - just play. We said thank you, but beyond that we simply enjoyed playing with the car and all the experiences that came with it. 

As the receiver, we are limited to the simple enjoyment of the gift. As the giver, our enjoyment can be magnified by becoming aware of the impact on the receiver. It’s not a revelation, just confirmation. Give more than you receive. 

REAL TALK - Action Steps
How are we sure to be aware of the impact of the gifts we give? That’s a good question. Here are seven boxes to check when you desire to give a gift that will have maximum impact:

• Give a gift that aligns with their passions.
  
• Give a gift that makes them feel valued.
  
• Give a gift that helps them grow.
  
• Give a gift that will foster positive memories.
  
• Give a gift that speaks to their personal values.
  
• Give a gift that will lead to stress-free joy.
  
• Give a gift that will expand their life.
  

At the end of the day, don’t overthink it: give more than you receive. 

Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!