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4 Levels of Confidence

Good ‘ol Honest Abe may have been honest, but he wasn’t too lucky early in his professional career.  
He failed in business. He lost his job. He ran for state legislature and lost there too. He started another business, which also failed, and it took him 17 years to pay off the debt he accrued in the process. As if that wasn’t enough, his fiancée died. Then he had a nervous breakdown. He ran for Congress and lost. Ran for Senate and lost. Ran for Vice President and lost. And, finally ran for Senate again … and lost again.
Then he was elected President of the United States, held the country together through a civil war, and became one of the most respected presidents in the history of our country.
Lincoln clearly had it in spades, but confidence isn’t something that oozed out of him like it did from other well-known presidents like Teddy Roosevelt or John F Kennedy. And, nothing about his previous results would lead others to think confidence was a trait Lincoln should even be gently holding. Public opinion would agree, of course. He was mocked, pushed aside, and underestimated for most of his life. 
It leads to an interesting question: where did the confidence to keep getting back up come from?
It’s the type of steady, unwavering confidence we all aspire to have. Yet, it seems to be reserved for only the best of the best. But, it shouldn’t be.

Why Should We Care?
There are four levels of confidence, and where you build yours from determines whether it holds up when adversity comes calling.
Level 1 — None. You don't have confidence. You either don't know what you're doing yet, or you're genuinely insecure in your ability. Everybody starts here at something.
Level 2 — Results. Your confidence is based on the outcomes you get. This one's popular because it feels earned. You did the thing, you got the result, so you feel good. The problem is the order is backwards. You need confidence before you get the result, not after. So you're stuck needing the thing you don't have yet to go get the thing that would give it to you. It's a trap a lot of people live in their whole career. Notice it’s the second lowest level, yet is treated by most as the standard.
Level 3 — Praise. Your confidence is based on someone else's words. A compliment, a like, a retweet, someone telling you that you're good. This one feels like a shortcut, but it puts your confidence in someone else's hands. You end up trying to appease people, including people whose opinion shouldn't carry that much weight, like those who aren't in your foxhole. Your confidence goes up and down based on whether somebody else decided to hand you a compliment today. That's dependency, not confidence.
Level 4 — Conviction. Your confidence is drawn from your personal values and from trusting your ability to handle whatever comes at you. It's not tied to whether you win or lose, and it's not tied to whether anyone claps. It's earned by living in line with what you actually believe, on the days nobody's watching. It’s the by-product of consistent authenticity.
Conviction is the only one that's entirely in your control. Results depend on outside factors, praise depends on somebody else's mood. But conviction depends on nothing but you showing up as the person you say you are. A confidence that's fully in your control doesn't just help you perform better in one area, it carries into every area of your life.
Lincoln didn't have results or praise on his side. What he had was conviction. He had a deep sense of what he believed and a trust that he could handle whatever came next. 

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Knowing the four levels doesn't do much for you. Adjusting to building your confidence in conviction does. Here's where to start.

• Write Your Conviction 
  
  • Not the ones that sound good on a poster, the ones you'd actually live and breathe. If you can't name them, you can't build confidence around them.
    

• Notice It
  
  • Next time you feel your confidence rise or fall, ask where it's coming from. If the honest answer is tied to results or opinions, take notice. You can’t change what you don’t notice.
    

• Respect Your Foxhole
  
  • Get clear on whose opinions actually matter to you. Respect your people, the ones in it with you. Let the rest of the noise be noise.
    

Level 4 confidence is precisely what you admire in the fearless strivers you watch in awe. They’ve made the choice to stop allowing other people to determine their confidence. It’s a great time for you to do the same.

Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!

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