bcg blog

Displaced Focus

Thirty minutes before the opening tip is a stressful time. The questions abound:
Are we ready? Are we focused? Do we know the scouting report? Do we have our bodies in the best possible shape? Will we make enough shots? Will we play good enough defense? Will we do our jobs? Will we compete with energy? Will we help each other be our best?

In a way, they help me. I know they’re coming and I know what I want the answer to be. I do my best to proactively answer these questions through practice before every game. They keep showing up, but they serve to sharpen the sword.

That’s not the case with the other set of questions that used to run through my mind:
What will others think of me if I lose? What does the team not performing well say about me as a coach? Do I really even know what I’m doing? Did I get our guys ready for what they’re going to do? Am I really even making a difference or could anyone do what I’m doing?

These questions limited me. They shackled me with fear because, at the time, I never knew the answer. They kept showing up and I kept coming up short of my potential because I was indecisive, tentative, and fearful. 

Perspective finally saved me when I realized the difference in the two sets of questions. The first set centers on others and points to “we”. The second set centers on self and points to “me”. The focus was determining my emotion. When it was about others, opportunity and hope prevailed. When it was about me, fear of the potential failure dominated my mind.

Why Should We Care?
There’s a saying in coaching that what gets measured gets done. Of course, there has to be communication of an expectation and accountability to a standard, but neither of those matter if we’re not measuring it. By measuring whatever ‘it’ is, we’re really just declaring ‘it’ a priority.

In leadership, it’s our priorities that get done. There are a lot of important things on every leader's plate. Elite leaders prioritize the right ones. Poor leaders are distracted and choose to focus on the wrong things or dilute their focus so much that nothing is a priority. The art is in choosing the right ones.

While the checklist and getting things done is important, it pales in comparison to the real intent of a leader. Here the concept is the same, but the stakes are considerably higher. Displaced focus in our intent may not always compromise the immediate mission, but it will undoubtedly compromise the long term vision and our eventual impact. 

Leadership is always about others. Always. We step in front to take the criticism and fall behind to disperse the praise. Of course, the human desire is to flip those two. It’s a want we must intentionally fight daily. Our focus impacts more than just us. 

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Consistently combating the tendency to make leadership about yourself is an ongoing fight for every leader - CEO, teacher, coach, manager, preacher, mother, father … it doesn’t matter. If you lead, you’re at risk for displacing your focus. Here are a few questions to prompt a recalibration:

• If we fail to reach our goal, what will the reason be? 
  
  • We ask this at the beginning of every season. The answer is always some form of selfishness. By proactively discussing our potential problems, when issues come up we can quickly point back to this conversation.
    

• Do the majority of your actions say you are living for your resume or eulogy?
  
  • Of course we want to accomplish things. Nothing is wrong with that, but if our decisions are always based on improving our resume there’s a good chance that we are failing to focus sufficiently on others. Our eulogy is always about others - our impact on them and their impact on us. 
    

• When we talk, how often do we say ‘we’ and ‘us’ compared to ‘I’ and ‘me’?
  
  • If you’ve never noticed, I can assure you others have. When spoken freely our words are a window to our soul - especially during a quick reaction or a moment of high tension. In these situations our words clearly communicate our focus. Be mindful and intentional.
    

With a focus on ourselves we become guarded and protected, in fear of what others might think or say or do. With a focus on others we are drawn to opportunity and hope.

Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!

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