bcg blog

When In Doubt

He sits perched at the far end of the tiny, Graham Junior High School gym as we file onto the court for practice. It’s 1990 and I’m a strapping 5’4” specimen weighing in at every bit of ninety-five pounds. Seventh grade basketball is scary. Since this is pre-travel ball, this man sitting on the stage is our first real coach. His criss cross applesauce position gives off Buddha vibes, but his handled goatee makes you think Yosemite Sam … quite the confusing combination.

Nonetheless, he’s the coach so we listen. He puts us through the same drills day after day to help us master the fundamentals. He installs plays to help us take advantage of our most talented players. He orchestrates conditioning through countless line drills. And, we play … well. Well enough to finish the season off a perfect 16 - 0. 

At this point, now more than thirty years later, I don’t remember any of the practices and only a few of the games. That’s how it usually goes though, right? The things that stick with us are the relationships and maybe a few key experiences.

One of those key experiences came in the form of a consistently shared quote from our Yosemite Sam Buddha that he repeated at specific times throughout the season. It would usually show up as quasi-encouragement for players as they entered the game. As a player would pass by him on their way to the scorer’s table to check into the game, he would offer them one last piece of advice before they took the floor:

“When in doubt, air it out.”

The basketball perspective on this is clear: if you don’t know what to do with the ball, shoot it. Afterall, a missed shot is better than a turnover. While this is some players’ default mode, it typically isn’t for 7th graders finishing out blowout wins. 

Only recently have I begun to appreciate a different angle on his advice. 

Why Should We Care?
Who doesn’t deal with doubt? We all do. 
And, what do we do about it? How do we handle it? Well, we do a lot or nothing … or something in between.

Sometimes we are paralyzed by it. We swim laps in our doom loop with no way of exiting the pool. Our performance is sabotaged, our confidence is destroyed, and we are left wondering how we ever got here in the first place. Doubt is a master in self-destruction. We question its origin, but are sure of its presence. Doing nothing with doubt will leave us living in a state of doubt that we accept as normal.

Sometimes we move through it. We fake it until we make it, knowing full well we are only a shell of what we are capable of being. But, we carry on. We play the part, give it our best, and live with the results. I mean, what else is there to do? We can’t just flip a switch that removes doubt so pretending it doesn’t exist seems like the next best approach, right? Afterall, we could do worse than persisting in the face of doubt.

But, there is another option. We can embrace the doubt, use it as a catalyst to prompt action. We can remove the negative judgment and see it clearly for exactly what it is: a sign that we’re still growing, still getting better, still approaching our best. That uneasiness in our stomach lets us know we’re still alive and something is at stake. A reframing has the power to completely change our perspective on doubt as a whole.

Consider for a second a life with no doubts, pure certainty. We would no longer feel the possibility that comes with the wonder of what ifs. We would lose the hope that accompanies uncertainty. We would dismiss the growth garnered from continuous struggle. Comfort, benevolence, and mediocrity would rule our life.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
While my 7th grade coach’s advice may not have been directly intended to help his players deal with doubt in the bigger picture, “when in doubt, air it out” does address a few important aspects of embracing doubt. Below are a few ideas to make the most of the doubt you face:

• Label It 
  
  • Name it to tame it they say. Doubt typically shows up as a questioning voice in our head. Giving that voice a name helps us recognize it and confront it quicker. The two that have worked the best for us have been ‘Weak Voice’ and ‘Red Light’. The weak voice makes us question everything from our preparation to our performance to what other people may think. Red light refers to a traffic light. When we are red light we are at a standstill, paralyzed by doubt and resorting to excuses in the form of blaming, complaining, and defending.
    

• Notice It
  
  • We can’t change things we don’t notice. Awareness always precedes intentional action. When we begin to become aware of our weak voice we’ve taken a major step towards changing it. This awareness is really at the root of the mindfulness movement. Meditation or breathing exercises are great tools. By directing our focus we are naturally eliminating distractions. Less interference offers the opportunity to slow down and give time to the main things. And, your ability to deal with self-doubt matters a lot.
    

• Control It
  
  • Because you can. Our weak voice offers us the opportunity to reconnect with our strong voice. We can double down on our best self and reinforce who we are striving to be. The acronym PAUSE is a great tool to remember how to implement this system: Pause - take a breath; Ask - is this where you want to be; Understand - you have choice, you are not a victim of your circumstance; Say - repeat a word or mantra that reconnects you to your strong voice; Execute - physically perform an action that returns you to the present, clap your hands, snap a rubber band, tap your shoulder … REPEAT every time your weak voice shows up
    

Thankfully, doubt is inevitable. It’s a blessing, not a curse. When we choose to ‘air it out’ rather than hold it in, we create countless moments to re-establish, or even elevate, the best version of ourselves.

Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!