bcg blog

Running To or Running From

I’m not a huge fan of speaking in front of groups of people. I’m overly nervous or worried about conveying my message, but if given the option I would choose to not partake most of the time. I do realize how illogical this is for a teacher whose profession is literally dependent on one’s ability to do this very thing. 

That said, what I do enjoy in this setting is a good round of questions and answers. I appreciate the challenge of immediately processing and synthesizing the question, then crafting the perfect answer pulling from my life experiences. While I certainly hope the audience benefits from the experience, I’m almost always better for having done it. 

There is one exception. One group in which question and answer sessions have been banned for eternity: Little Dribblers Basketball campers. Little Dribblers Basketball Camp is three days long, an hour per day, for kindergarten through second grade students (no, I was not smart enough to make it that short initially). While most of the camp feels like we’re herding cats, we spend the majority of camp working on ballhandling and footwork - with some dancing and lots of laughing mixed in. 

The first year we held camp I made a critical error: I asked for questions. I got way more than questions. I got stories about their mom’s boss, reasons their big brother had freckles, and why two of their toes on the same foot were the exact same length (clearly a miracle).

I was also blessed with the most outlandish dreams of every six, seven, and eight year old at camp. Astronaut, president, lawyer, BMX bike racer, doctor … we had them all. Of course, I chuckled and gave a half-hearted smile as acknowledgment of their wild dreams. Silly kids.

Only in retrospect did I realize it was my desperation that wouldn’t allow me to recognize their inspiration. They were silly, but their dreams were more real than almost any adults I’ve engaged with since.

Why Should We Care?
We all have goals, just like the Little Dribbler campers. They just haven’t been tamed enough to fear saying them out loud. You know it’s true. Little kids are almost always running to their goals and dreams. Adults, on the other hand, are usually pursuing goals as a means of running from something else. There’s a big difference between running to something and running away from something.

Think about these questions:
What emotions are you experiencing if you are running to someone? 
What emotions are you experiencing if you are running away from someone?

When we are running to something we are fueled by love, so passion naturally accompanies it. We are inspired. When we are running from something we are fueled by fear, so judgement and a want for safety naturally accompany it. We are desperate. 

Of course, we never set out to run from our dreams, we just pursue goals that we hope will distract others from seeing the true us. The salesman crushing quarter goals to get the bonus so he can get the new car in hopes of upping his social status is not the same as the salesman crushing quarter goals to get the bonus so he can pay off his mortgage and set his family up for long-term financial success. 

The first is running from other people’s opinions of him. 
The second is running to his family.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
With that in mind, here are a few things to consider when setting inspirational goals that you will run to:

• Think Like a Kid 
  
  • Yes, crazy. They’re always the best ones. Eliminate all the limits you place on yourself - money, time, what others will think … and just say it, or even better, write it down. 
    

• Be a Nobody
  
  • What if no one would ever know you accomplished your goal? Would you still want to do it? If so, it’s inspirational.
    

• Love the Process
  
  • The joy is in the doing, not the outcome. If you don’t love the process, then you are most certainly running from something.
    

The people who are inspired, gritty, persistent, resilient, and passionate simply have a goal they are running to. It’s not magic, but it is intentional.

Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!