 But, What If It Works?Sara Blakely had every reason to listen to the ‘what ifs’. In 1998, she was 27 years old and selling fax machines door to door. But, she had a big idea that consumed her - footless pantyhose … yea, I would’ve never thought of that either. Problem was, she had no business experience, no connections, and no money beyond the $5,000 she'd scraped together from selling fax machines. That didn’t deter her though, she started calling hosiery mills where she received a consistent response - no.
Every voice around her would have compiled an impressive list of ‘what if’ doomsday messages. What if you waste your money? What if people laugh at you? What if you fail again? She went for it anyway. When she was rejected on the phone she still chose to drive to North Carolina to pitch her idea to manufacturers in person. She got the same response from every person she talked to though - a smug chuckle or an even more painful explanation of just how dumb her idea was. But Sara never waivered. She remained married to the question on the other side of the coin - what if it works? Rather than ignore the obstacles, Blakely acknowledged them and ran directly towards them. About three weeks after her trip to North Carolina, one of those mill owners in Charlotte decided to give her crazy idea a shot. As it turns out, the owner had run the idea by his three daughters who had each loved the idea. And, with that, Spanx was born and is now a household name. Blakely became the youngest self-made female billionaire in history … all because she chose the ‘what ifs’ of possibility over the ‘what ifs’ of failure. Why Should We Care? Without question, the most impactful leaders choose the ‘what ifs’ of possibility. Most people default to catastrophic "what ifs" with all the reasons something won't work, all the ways they might fail, and all the judgment they might face. These aren't irrational thoughts, they're a result of our brain trying to keep us safe. But, safety and excellence don’t always go together. I'm not suggesting we act like everything is sunshine and rainbows or that we ignore reality. Sara Blakely didn't pretend the manufacturers weren't laughing at her. She didn't minimize the fact that she had no business experience or industry connections. She acknowledged all of it while never straying from her insatiable curiosity that it just might work. When you focus on all the reasons something might fail, you're paralyzed. When you acknowledge those reasons but then focus on the possibility of success, you're energized. Same circumstances, different question, completely different outcome. The questions you ask yourself determine the actions you take, or don't take. Leaders consumed with ‘what if it fails’ thinking make conservative, fear-based decisions designed to minimize downside. They optimize for not looking bad rather than for creating something meaningful. But leaders who learn to ask ‘what if it works’ make bold, possibility-focused decisions designed to maximize impact. They're willing to look foolish in pursuit of something that matters. The people who change the world aren't necessarily smarter or more talented, but they're just willing to live in a different ‘what if.’ What if this crazy idea actually changes everything? REAL TALK - Action Steps Shifting from ‘what if it fails’ to ‘what if it works’ thinking requires intentional practices that retrain your brain to focus on possibility rather than catastrophe. Here are a few ideas to get you heading in that direction:
Every significant opportunity you'll ever face will come with a list of reasons why it won't work. Those reasons will be logical and sometimes accurate. The question isn't whether those fears are valid, it's whether you're going to let them be the only voice in the room. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 Self-Awareness' Gift: Grace“The Decision” … come on, you remember it.
It’s July 2010 and LeBron sits down for a televised special to announce he’s leaving his hometown of Cleveland to create a superteam in Miami, all in pursuit of an NBA championship. It worked, he won - two of them to be exact. But, in Northeast Ohio, James instantly went from the savior to something just short of the anti-christ. That is, until four years later when he returned to Cleveland. Ah, back to the savior … There was a different feel with this change however. James, now considerably older and more mature, seemed to be following his heart as much as he was changing teams. In a Sports Illustrated essay he wrote “My relationship with Northeast Ohio is bigger than basketball. I didn't realize that four years ago. I do now.” This was just as much an apology as it was evidence of a growing self-awareness. He could have stayed away, protected his ego and reputation. Instead he extended forgiveness to Dan Gilbert, the agitated owner of the Cavs who fired off a seething, public letter in response to his first departure. James then admitted how he’d prioritized championships over community; and confessed to the tactless way he’d handled his departure. His self-awareness created space for grace. Grace to others who had hurt him and grace to himself for his own mistakes. All too often we see the other side of the self-awareness coin. The one that refuses to recognize or acknowledge shortcomings, pretends to operate in a silo, and ignores the impact on the rest of the world. All while robbing themselves and others of the gift of grace. Why Should We Care? Here’s a realization we all eventually come to: self-awareness is the foundation of grace, both toward others and toward ourselves. When we truly understand our own struggles, insecurities, and failures, we gain the capacity to recognize those same struggles in others. We stop seeing people's behaviors as attacks on us and start seeing them as expressions of their own pain, confusion, or limitations. That awareness creates the possibility for grace. The same principle applies with ourselves. Most leaders I know are far more gracious with others than they are with themselves. They can extend compassion to struggling team members while simultaneously beating themselves up for similar challenges. Fortunately, or unfortunately, we can't sustainably extend grace to others without also learning to extend it to ourselves. When we’re constantly judging our own mistakes harshly, we’ll eventually project that same judgment onto others. Self-awareness breaks this cycle because when we see ourselves clearly, we gain the humility to recognize that we’re doing the best we can with what we know in each moment. That recognition doesn't create complacency, it creates compassion. And compassion for ourselves naturally overflows into compassion for others. Grace is what makes teams resilient. When people know their leader can see them clearly and fully believe in them, they'll take risks, admit mistakes, and pursue excellence without fear. But when leaders operate without self-awareness, they create environments where people hide their struggles, fake competence, and avoid vulnerability at all costs. The leader who has never examined their own failures can't extend grace for others' failures. The leader who hasn't acknowledged their own need for support can't create space for others to admit they need help. REAL TALK - Action Steps Developing the self-awareness that enables grace requires intentional practices to help you see yourself and others more clearly, without the distortions of ego or shame. Here’s a few to get you started:
Self-awareness is the gateway, not the goal. The goal is becoming the kind of person who can see clearly, love generously, and lead with both strength and compassion. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! A Chance to Believe Being from St. Paris Graham, there’s a few things you are required to know: 1. What a Trucker’s Special at Mixin’s & Fixin’s is; 2. The difference between straw and hay; and 3. Wrestling. I’m well versed in all three. The Trucker’s Special is enough food for you to not eat for the next three days. Straw is yellow, hay is green. And, wrestling is a sport I’ve grown to truly appreciate - even as a basketball coach. The sacrifice and humility it requires is inspiring. And, it’s really cool when that sacrifice and humility meets an opportunity to believe.
Welcome to the Sydney Olympics in 2000. Rulon Gardner walked onto the wrestling mat as a 2,000:1 underdog. 2,000:1! His opponent was Aleksandr Karelin, the most dominant wrestler in history. Karelin was a three-time Olympic gold medalist, had won 887 of 888 matches, hadn't been beaten in 13 years, and hadn't surrendered a single point in six years. Three years earlier Gardner was one of Karenlin’s casualties, losing miserably and breaking two vertebrae in his neck. Literally no one believed Gardner, who had never finished higher than fifth in international competition, had a chance. A month before the Olympics, Gardner had been pinned by the number two Russian wrestler in 13 seconds. He wasn’t from wrestling royalty and didn't even make his high school wrestling team until his senior year. Gardner was a country kid from Wyoming who had developed his strength not through elite training programs but through twice-daily milking sessions and hauling countless bales of hay on his family's dairy farm. By every measurable standard, this was not a match. It was a hoop Karelin needed to jump through to claim his fourth consecutive gold medal. But Gardner saw things differently. While the world saw an impossible challenge, he chose a different perspective. Against all odds, the farm boy from Wyoming held on for a 1-0 victory that shocked the world. Gardner said afterward, "All those people who told me I could never get here and get on this stage, I'm going to show them.” The challenge everyone else saw as impossible became the chance Gardner used to believe. Why Should We Care? A challenge, regardless of how daunting it may seem, is not an obstacle to overcome. It’s an invitation to believe. Most people look at challenges and see reasons to doubt, but leaders who pursue excellence have learned to flip their perspective. They see challenges as the very context that makes belief meaningful. After all, belief isn't required when success is guaranteed. It only matters when the outcome is uncertain. The greater the challenge, the greater the opportunity to demonstrate what belief can accomplish. Belief is fascinating because of how it shapes our performance. Gardner didn't beat Karelin because he was physically superior. He won because he approached the match with a mindset that allowed him to compete at his highest level. Leaders who view challenges as chances to believe access potential that doubt-filled competitors never discover. They prepare more because they believe preparation matters and they persist longer because they believe persistence will be rewarded. The challenge doesn't change, but the mindset you approach it with changes everything about what becomes possible. High achievers who struggle often do so because they've allowed challenges to become evidence for doubt rather than opportunities for belief. Individuals who learn to reframe challenges as invitations to believe find inspiration when they realize the size of the challenge is actually the size of the opportunity. When you embrace challenges as chances to believe, you stop being limited by circumstances and start being defined by conviction. REAL TALK - Action Steps Operating from a challenge and opportunity mindset requires deliberate practices that train our brain to see opportunity where others see obstacles. Here are a few ideas to get started:
Every challenge you face is asking you the same question: Will you use this as evidence for doubt, or as an opportunity for belief? The circumstances don't determine the answer, your mindset does. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
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