 The Dichotomy of the MomentHe simply called it “The Hill”. It was a brutal 2½ mile uphill sprint that Jerry Rice, widely regarded as the greatest wide receiver in NFL history, did six days a week during the off-season throughout his twenty year NFL career. His records speak for themselves, but what made Rice legendary wasn't a single moment of brilliance or a few spectacular seasons. It was something far more mundane that no one else was there to witness. Rice’s workouts were alone and challenged his mental toughness just as much as his physical endurance.
The remarkable thing about Rice's training wasn't just its intensity, but his unwavering commitment to it. While he recognized that each individual sprint up “The Hill” made virtually no noticeable difference to his performance, he continued them faithfully week after week and year after year. One sprint didn't transform him, neither did ten. But everyday, for years … and you have something extraordinary. Rice later reflected: "The only thing I look back on is how I performed in the fourth quarter. A lot of players are tired in the fourth quarter, and they can't fight through that pain. But I had sacrificed so much during the offseason in the way I trained, I could endure that and still focus on what I had to accomplish". That’s precisely the dichotomy: if Rice had failed to value each individual sprint - if he'd skipped a few hill runs because it wouldn't make a noticeable difference - he would have begun eroding the foundation that allowed him to be his best when it mattered most. The single sprint was simultaneously insignificant and absolutely essential. One thousand sprints created a legend, but only because Rice treated sprint number one with the same reverence as sprint number one thousand. Why Should We Care? This is the ultimate performance paradox - individual moments of excellence seem to matter very little, yet they are the only thing that ultimately matters. When we make one good decision, send one thoughtful email, or have one difficult conversation, the impact feels negligible. The needle barely moves. No one throws a parade. This is precisely why most leaders fail to achieve sustained excellence. We’ve been conditioned to look for the homerun, the public initiative, the dramatic move that will change everything at once. Meanwhile, we dismiss the daily disciplines that actually create transformation because each one seems too small to matter. This principle becomes crucial when we examine how lasting change actually occurs. Leaders who focus on brilliant strategies while neglecting daily execution discover that their plans never materialize into results. On the other hand, leaders who understand the dichotomy of the moment, that each day's work is simultaneously insignificant and irreplaceable, build cultures that compound over time. Like “The Hill” runs, the first hundred days of consistently modeling the behavior we want to see might not produce visible results. The accumulation of those moments, however, creates something that cannot be built any other way. The personal pursuit of excellence follows the same pattern. Leaders often struggle with this dichotomy. If we can't value the moment because its impact is invisible, we’ll never accumulate enough moments to create a tangible impact. Holding this paradox in tension becomes the challenge. Can we treat each moment as if it matters immensely while knowing that no single moment will determine our legacy? The greatest challenge in the pursuit of excellence isn't doing the hard thing once; it's maintaining reverence for doing it again when the thousandth repetition feels no different than the first. REAL TALK - Action Steps Mastering the dichotomy of the moment requires developing systems that help you value and execute on seemingly insignificant actions that compound into extraordinary results. Here’s a few ideas to get you started:
This is the dichotomy we must embrace - value every swing of the axe, not because it will bring down the tree, but because one thousand swings only happens one swing at a time. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 The ShouldingsIn August 2019, prime 29 year old Andrew Luck announced his retirement from the NFL. He was a former number one overall draft pick, a Pro Bowl quarterback, and had just led the Colts to the playoffs while earning himself the Comeback Player of the Year award. By every external measure, he should have been on top of the world. But, he wasn’t.
"For the last four years or so, I've been in this cycle of injury, pain, rehab, injury, pain, rehab, and it's been unceasing, unrelenting, both in-season and offseason, and I felt stuck in it. The only way I see out is to no longer play football." While Luck’s retirement sent shockwaves through the entire National Football League, the more fascinating story was that he had the awareness to recognize something that once brought him joy had become something he felt he should endure. Luck had always been a football junky. He loved every aspect of the game. But somewhere in the cycle of injuries, something changed. The should had replaced the excitement. He should keep playing because of his talent. He should honor his contract. He should push through for his teammates and fans. Yet each of these shoulds felt heavy rather than energizing, an obligation rather than an opportunity. Walking away, Luck demonstrated a profound level of self-awareness that many leaders never achieve. He recognized that when your mind is telling you something feels wrong, no amount of external validation can make it feel right. Why Should We Care? Not all shoulds are created equal. Some shoulds align with your authentic self while others stem from external expectations, like fear and obligation. Pay attention to the feeling that accompanies the should-thought. Does it create a sense of anticipation and possibility or does it create a heaviness, a sense of resentment and obligation? The first type of should is your true self pointing you toward growth that serves your purpose. The second type is your false self, the voice of what others expect, what looks impressive, or what you think you're supposed to do. This awareness becomes crucial when we consider how we make decisions around our priorities. Too many leaders find themselves in Andrew Luck's cycle of pursuing achievements that once excited them but now feel like obligations they can't escape. They should pursue the promotion because it's the next logical step. They should maintain their hectic schedule because that's what successful people do. They should say yes to opportunities because that’s the only way they can climb the ladder. But each heavy should creates distance from your authentic self and replace genuine passion with performance of success. Examining your shoulds shines a light on what you truly value versus what you've been conditioned to value. For leaders pursuing excellence, this kind of awareness is transformative. It allows you to invest your energy in pursuits that genuinely matter to you rather than exhausting yourself trying to live up to images of success that were never truly yours. The most impactful leaders aren't those who achieved every goal society told them to pursue, but those who had the courage to define success on their terms then live it. REAL TALK - Action Steps Developing the awareness to distinguish between authentic calling and false obligation requires intentional practice in noticing how different commitments make you feel. Here’s a few ideas to become more aware:
Your joy, your energy, and your authentic contribution to the world depend on following the shoulds that make you feel more alive, not the ones that slowly drain your life away. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Releasing ReputationThroughout her career, Serena Williams faced a common challenge that most athletes experience, but to an extreme degree. For her, the scrutiny was constant not just of her performance, but of her body, her emotions, her fashion, and her authenticity. For years, she could have shaped herself to fit others' expectations, softened her intensity to seem more acceptable, or hidden her emotions to protect her reputation.
Serena made a different choice. She faced resistance from traditionalists within the tennis community because of her outspoken nature, but rather than retreat, she leaned into authenticity. While fans saw her as a strong and utterly powerful person who never gives up, privately she knew otherwise. Serena once explained how her on-court self is completely different from her off-court personality. When she opened up about her struggle with confidence, the vulnerability - showing both her strength and her fragility - could have damaged her carefully cultivated image as an invincible competitor. Then she let go. Serena stopped trying to manage everyone's opinion of her. She had become a mother and vulnerability flowed. She was now mild-mannered and acknowledged that her body was different. Her devotion had shifted from focusing solely on tennis to raising her daughter. Serena began releasing her grip on her reputation and embracing her full self - the fierce competitor, the devoted mother, the outspoken advocate. Needless to say, she didn't lose influence. She gained it. Why Should We Care? Here’s a truth of leadership: the energy you spend managing your reputation is energy you can't invest in actual growth and impact. Most people live in a prison of reputation management, carefully curating their image, avoiding vulnerability, and making decisions based on how they'll be perceived rather than what's genuinely right or necessary. This creates an exhausting dilemma where excellence requires authenticity and boldness, but protecting reputation demands conformity and caution. The leaders who break through to transformational impact are those who realize that releasing concern for reputation isn't reckless - it's the only way to access their full capacity for leadership. Leaders worried about their reputation make conservative choices designed to avoid criticism rather than choices designed to create value. They delay difficult conversations to preserve likability, withhold controversial opinions to maintain consensus, and pursue visible achievements that look impressive rather than meaningful work that might go unnoticed. But leaders who have released their attachment to reputation can take the risks that excellence requires. They can admit mistakes without fearing professional death, champion unpopular ideas without needing immediate validation, and prioritize long-term impact over short-term approval. High achievers who remain bound by reputation concerns often find themselves performing a version of success rather than experiencing excellence - achieving goals that impress others while neglecting pursuits that fulfill them, maintaining an image of having it all together while struggling privately, and measuring worth by external validation rather than internal alignment. When you stop trying to protect your reputation, you often build a better one - because authenticity and courage are ultimately more compelling than carefully managed perfection. REAL TALK - Action Steps Releasing your reputation doesn't mean abandoning professionalism or character - it means freeing yourself from the exhausting work of impression management so you can focus on meaningful contribution. Here’s a few ideas on staying on that path:
True leadership excellence emerges not when you perfect your reputation, but when you release your attachment to it. When you stop spending energy managing others' perceptions and start investing it in genuine contribution, you discover a freedom that transforms both your effectiveness and your experience of leadership. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Best Supporting ActorIt’s 2004 and the Phoenix Suns are coming off a dismal 29-53 season. The projection for the upcoming season was bleak and the seemingly insignificant addition of 30-year-old point guard, Steve Nash, did little to change it. Nash wasn’t exactly a flashy acquisition. But, while the statistics he arrived with could be measured, his ability to make everyone around him better could not.
In Nash's first season with Phoenix, the team improved by 33 games - the largest single-season leap in NBA history at the time. Nash was great, averaging a league leading 11.5 assists per game. But the statistics barely capture what Nash actually did. Players like Shawn Marion and Amar'e Stoudemire, who had been solid contributors, suddenly became All-Stars with Nash’s ability to bring out the best in them. From an overall team standpoint, Phoenix was nearly 15 points better with Nash on the court than with him on the bench. What made Nash's approach so impactful was his understanding that his job wasn't to be the best player on the court - it was to help everyone else become their best. Nash had an uncanny gift for creating passing lanes that didn’t exist for other players, but more importantly, he knew exactly where each teammate wanted the ball and how to get it to them in positions where they could succeed. Nash didn't chase his own statistics and in doing so, won two MVP awards. Instead he orchestrated an offense where everyone thrived. Rather than dominating the spotlight he ensured the spotlight found the right person at the right moment. He understood what many striving for excellence miss: the greatest leaders are best at making someone else the star of the show. Why Should We Care? Nash's approach reveals a fundamental truth about effective leadership that runs counter to how most people think about success: the best leaders aren't those who demonstrate their own excellence, but those who create the conditions for others to demonstrate theirs. Too many leaders fall into the trap of being the "best actor" - making sure their own contributions are noticed, their ideas are implemented, and their achievements are recognized. This makes it about you. But leadership isn’t about you. It’s about your people. Nash-style leadership multiplies your impact through others rather than putting a ceiling on it. This principle becomes crucial if we aspire to sustain excellence. There’s definitely a draw to be the "best actor", but while you might receive some of the recognition you are looking for you are also signing your team up for dramatic ups and downs because the team's performance is so dependent on your daily energy, availability, and decisions. When everything flows through you, a bottleneck is instantly created. Conversely, a "best supporting actor" approach creates depth, resilience, and distributed capability. Excellence becomes embedded in the culture rather than dependent on an individual. Our personal pursuit of excellence follows the same pattern. Leaders who measure their success primarily by their own visible achievements often find themselves isolated, overwhelmed, and ultimately limited. But leaders who define success by how much they elevate others discover something counterintuitive: by making others better, they become more valuable, more influential, and more effective than they ever could have been by focusing solely on personal performance. Nash could have averaged 25 points per game if he'd wanted to, but he wouldn't have won MVP awards or transformed a franchise. His greatness came precisely from his willingness to be the supporting actor in everyone else's success story. REAL TALK - Action Steps Shifting from "best actor" to "best supporting actor" leadership requires intentional changes in how you spend your time and measure your success. Here’s a few ideas to get you started:
The transition from best actor to best supporting actor isn't about diminishing your own capabilities or hiding your talents - it's about recognizing that leadership at its highest level is measured not by what you accomplish directly, but by what you make possible for others. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  The Tyranny of OrTim Duncan's nickname was "The Big Fundamental," but what separated him from all other NBA stars wasn’t his size, athleticism, or unworldly skill set - it was how he masterfully blended being a fierce competitor with a caring teammate. Throughout his 19-season career with the San Antonio Spurs, Duncan consistently demonstrated that you don't have to choose between pursuing excellence and building deep relationships. In fact, Duncan proved that the two actually amplify each other.
Duncan set himself apart from players who craved attention and recognition, opting for the humble and simple approach that prioritized team success over individual glory. This wasn't softness disguised as leadership - it was a genuine investment in relationships that enabled higher performance. Duncan was known for his quiet leadership style, but he also had a deep sense of empathy for his teammates. He always took the time to listen to their concerns, offer guidance, and provide support. By showing genuine care and understanding, he created an unbreakable sense of camaraderie and unity among his teammates. The results? How about five NBA championships, three Finals MVPs, and a culture of sustained excellence that lasted two decades? More importantly to Duncan, his teammates consistently spoke about how his genuine care for them as people made them want to give everything they had. His personal excellence wasn't separate from his relational excellence - they were the same thing expressed differently. Duncan understood that championship-level performance requires championship-level trust, and championship-level trust comes from genuine care for the people you're competing alongside. Why Should We Care? Duncan's approach spotlights a fundamental misconception that limits most leaders: the belief that you must choose between driving hard for results and investing deeply in relationships. This "tyranny of or" thinking creates a false narrative that forces leaders to see themselves as either task-focused achievers or people-focused nurturers, when in reality the most effective leaders excel at both simultaneously. The highest-performing teams and organizations don't happen despite strong relationships - they happen because of them. When people trust that their leader genuinely cares about their growth and wellbeing, they're willing to push themselves harder and perform at levels they didn't know they possessed. This principle becomes crucial when we examine how sustainable excellence actually develops. Leaders who prioritize only results often achieve short-term gains at the cost of long-term effectiveness, burning out their teams and creating environments where people give their minimum acceptable effort rather than their maximum potential. On the other hand, leaders who focus only on relationships without demanding excellence create country club comfort that serves no one's highest interests. But leaders who master both create cultures where high standards and deep care reinforce each other, producing both exceptional results and exceptional people. Relationships aren't the soft side of leadership - they're the foundation that makes hard-driving excellence possible. When people know you're invested in them as whole human beings, not just as cogs in the wheel, they're more willing to be challenged, more resilient in the face of setbacks, and more committed to the collective success that requires individual sacrifice. Excellence becomes not something imposed from above, but something pursued together because everyone knows the leader's demands come from a place of belief in their potential, not exploitation of their effort. REAL TALK - Action Steps Escaping the ‘tyranny of or’ requires intentional practices that demonstrate genuine care while maintaining uncompromising standards for performance. Here are a few ideas to get, or stay, on this path:
The most transformational leaders understand that excellence and relationships aren't competing priorities - they're complementary strengths that create exponential impact when combined. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
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