 Standards TalkTom Brady and Bill Belichick had a unique relationship. It was always respectful but never smooth, always successful but never completely joyous. As the 199th draft pick, Brady never overwhelmed with talent. And Belichick, with his all-business disposition never impressed with his personality. What both men did wholeheartedly embrace was Belichick's relentless expectations that unlocked something in Brady that even he didn't know existed.
Belichick recalled, "Every meeting I went into, I felt like I had to be as well prepared as he was." This wasn't about Brady being difficult - it was about Belichick setting an expectation that preparation would be mutual and excellence would be non-negotiable. When Brady would challenge him in meetings, asking detailed questions about opponents that forced Belichick to dig deeper, it became clear that high expectations had created a culture where everyone had to rise to meet the standard. To the rest of the team, these expectations communicated that no one - not even the legendary coach and starting quarterback - were exempt from the expectation of constant improvement. To Brady himself, it reinforced that his potential was limitless. There was always another level to reach. To the media and fans, it demonstrated that success wasn't accidental but the result of systematic excellence. It was something they prioritized and acted intentionally on. They left nothing to chance. To their opponents, it sent a clear message - we're not just trying to beat you today, we're building something that will dominate for years. Those expectations became the foundation for six Super Bowl victories, but more importantly, they created a standard that transformed everyone who encountered it. Brady and Belichick didn't just expect to win - they expected to redefine what winning looked like. Why Should We Care? High standards function as the ultimate communication system that operates on multiple levels simultaneously. When leaders set ambitious expectations, they're not just expressing hopes - they're broadcasting beliefs that fundamentally alter relationships and performance. Those we lead don't just hear the success we expect; they hear the capabilities we see in them that they hadn't recognized in themselves. This message of belief becomes more powerful than any strategy or technique because it changes the identity of our team. The most effective leaders understand that their expectations function as prophetic declarations that can either limit or unleash the potential of those they lead. This principle becomes crucial when we consider how expectations shape organizational culture and individual performance. Teams and individuals tend to rise or fall to the level of expectations placed on them, not because of external pressure, but because expectations communicate identity. When leaders consistently expect excellence, they signal that mediocrity isn't acceptable because it fails to honor who their people truly are. Conversely, when leaders lower expectations to be "realistic" or avoid disappointment, they inadvertently communicate that limitation is acceptable. The message received isn't just about performance targets - it's about worth, potential, and possibility. The ripple effects of high expectations extend far beyond immediate performance outcomes. When you consistently expect more from yourself and others, you create an environment where growth becomes inevitable and excellence becomes normal. People begin to see challenges as opportunities to rise rather than threats to survival. They start making decisions based on their potential rather than their current limitations. Most importantly, they begin to expect more from themselves, creating a self-reinforcing cycle of improvement that continues long after the original expectations were set. REAL TALK - Action Steps The power of expectations requires intentional cultivation - you can't accidentally communicate belief or casually inspire excellence. Here are three ways to harness expectation as a leader:
Your expectations are never neutral - they're either elevating or diminishing the people around you. When you choose to expect excellence, you're not just hoping for better outcomes; you're communicating a fundamental belief in human potential. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 Misguided PrioritiesIt's October 1993, and Michael Jordan is shocking the sports world by announcing his retirement from basketball at age 30, his peak to this point in his career. He has just led the Chicago Bulls to their third consecutive NBA championship, is the league's most dominant player, and seems destined for more titles. But Jordan is drowning in pressure - none of which have anything to do with basketball.
The pressure Jordan feels isn't coming from the game he loves - it's coming from everything else that has been layered on top of it. Endorsement obligations, media appearances, public expectations, and the weight of being an icon have transformed basketball from a source of joy into a burden of responsibility. The death of his father that summer has given him perspective: life is short, and he is spending it serving priorities that aren't truly his own. So Jordan does something that seems impossible for someone at his level - he walks away. He chooses to play minor league baseball, taking a massive pay cut and enduring public ridicule, because it allows him to compete without the crushing weight of external expectations. For 18 months, he plays a sport where he is just another player trying to improve, where failure is acceptable, and where the only pressure is the kind that actually matters - the drive to get better. When he returns to basketball in 1995, he is a different player. Not because his skills have changed, but because he has rediscovered the difference between the pressure that comes from pursuing excellence and the pressure that comes from serving everyone else's agenda. He goes on to win three more championships, but more importantly, he has learned that the most destructive pressure is the kind we accept when we lose sight of what our top priorities actually are. Why Should We Care? Jordan's retirement reveals a truth about leadership most never recognize: the majority of stress we experience isn't imposed by our core responsibilities, but created by everything we've allowed to be piled on top of them. When leaders take on too many peripheral commitments, chase recognition, or allow external expectations to define their success, they manufacture pressure disguised as professional necessity. Basketball was never the issue for Jordan - he was drowning in everything that wasn't basketball. He eventually treated them all as equally important. This self-imposed pressure doesn't just diminish performance - it distorts our relationship with the work we're actually called to do, turning sources of strength into sources of stress. This principle becomes crucial when we examine how manufactured pressure affects leadership decision-making. Leaders operating under self-created expectations often make choices designed to manage their image rather than serve their organization's needs. They say yes to speaking engagements that drain their energy, pursue awards that don't advance their mission, or accept responsibilities that dilute their focus on core leadership functions. Conversely, leaders who have learned this lesson - that walking away from secondary pressures can restore primary effectiveness - can remain focused and strategic even during challenges. They understand that real leadership pressure comes from genuinely important decisions, not from trying to be everything to everyone. The pursuit of personal excellence follows the same pattern. High achievers who struggle with chronic pressure are often fighting battles like Jordan's - committed to maintaining standards in areas that aren't central to their actual calling or competence. They become overwhelmed by networking obligations, paralyzed by social media presence, or exhausted by trying to excel in every dimension of life simultaneously. But individuals who learn to distinguish between the pressure that comes from pursuing mastery and the pressure that comes from managing everyone else's expectations experience a different kind of excellence - one characterized by deep focus, sustainable effort, and the joy that only comes from doing what you're truly meant to do. REAL TALK - Action Steps The path from pressure-driven leadership to priority-driven excellence requires the same courage Jordan showed - the willingness to step away from what everyone expects in order to reconnect with what actually matters. Here’s a few ideas on doing it for yourself:
The most profound leadership transformation happens when you stop trying to manage pressure and start preventing it through clarity about what deserves your best effort. When your commitments flow from your purpose rather than external expectations, when your decisions serve your primary mission rather than secondary recognition, you discover a way of leading that feels both more effective and more sustainable. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Be Before DoIt’s 2008 and the Graham Falcons are taking the floor in the Boys Basketball Regional Semi-finals against the Alter Knights at Wright State’s Nutter Center. For Alter, it’s just another year under legendary coach Joe Petrocelli, winner of numerous state championships and nearly thirty regional appearances. For the Falcons, who are not led by a legendary coach that has been to multiple state tournaments, it is new territory - the program’s first-ever trip to the elite eight.
Prior to the regional tournament, teams have approximately a week to prepare. The challenge, other than the best competition they’ve faced all season, is that the regional semi-finals and finals are only one day apart. Some would view the focus to be clear - win the next game, which is understandable. The Falcons approach it a little differently, though - they’re trying to win the whole thing. Of course the next game is important, but the goal is to win the last one. With this mindset shift, a critical decision quickly becomes apparent: invest all of your time into preparation on all of your potential opponents or double down on yourself. Neither choice disregards the other, but the clarity of the commitment will direct the focus and be apparent to the team leading up to the biggest game of their careers. They double down. The focus would not be on the perennial power they would face in the regional semi-final or the likely finals opponent with the seven-foot future NBA Draft pick. It would be on themselves. Who they would be in the moment took priority over anything they, or their opponents, would do. I’ve been very fortunate to coach several teams that have fully embraced this mindset. Each one has met, or exceeded, their potential. The 2008 Falcons were the first. Why Should We Care? Transformational leaders understand that identity drives behavior more powerfully than strategy ever could. When we focus primarily on what our people need to do - hit revenue targets, manage conflicts, execute plans, or just run the play - they often find themselves reactive, anxious, and passive. They are dependent on circumstances beyond their control. When they shift their focus to who they need to be in each moment - composed, decisive, supportive, courageous - they access a source of power that no external situation can diminish. This principle becomes especially crucial during high-stakes moments. When facing a crisis, giving difficult feedback, or making unpopular decisions, leaders who ask "What should I do?" often get trapped in analysis or make fear-based choices. But leaders who ask "Who do I need to be right now?" tap into their core values and authentic strengths, enabling them to act with clarity and conviction regardless of uncertainty. They understand that their team is watching not just what they do, but how they show up - their energy, their confidence, their integrity under pressure. For individuals pursuing excellence, this shift from doing to being unlocks a freedom that achievement-focused thinking alone cannot provide. Instead of being at the mercy of external validation, market conditions, or other people's responses, you can anchor your sense of success in qualities that remain within your control. This doesn't mean outcomes don't matter - it means your confidence and effectiveness aren't held hostage by them. When you know exactly who you want to be in challenging moments, you can perform at your highest level regardless of stakes, opposition, or uncertainty. Excellence becomes less about perfect execution and more about consistent embodiment of your best self. REAL TALK - Action Steps The transition from doing-focused to being-focused leadership requires intentional practices - especially when pressure mounts. Here are a few you can make a part of your leadership system:
The most influential leaders understand that lasting excellence flows from the inside out, not the outside in. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Tough & TogetherIt’s spittin’ rain - just the way we like it. It’s uncomfortably cold, not make-your-bones-hurt cold but definitely not pleasant. A whistle draws the team together on the far back practice field, where most of the thirty young men are somewhere between anxious and scared to death about what is about to happen. Either way, the rain and cold makes it way better.
Practice is a week away and the only thing standing between the guys and a week of rest is our Final Conditioning - a workout full of bear crawls, crab walks, partner carries, burpees, and lots of running. The workout is sixty minutes. Finish and you receive a pair of work boot shoe laces. Don’t finish and well, you don’t get any shoe laces. But, you also know you didn’t finish. For guys in our program we hope that hurts more than missing out on any prize. Most guys don’t finish. Final Conditioning is the perfect capstone to our preseason. Finishing it or not finishing it isn’t the point - embracing the challenge of it is. We want players who choose to view the challenge as an opportunity, not an obstacle. Guys who are willing to run as hard and as fast as they can without knowing where the finish line is. Fortunately, the guys showing up for Final Conditioning have already demonstrated a portion of this by attending months of 6:00am workouts, open gyms, conditionings, and weight lifting sessions. Those averse to this perspective tapped out a long time ago. The young men remaining almost always possess the other characteristic that we think is critical - togetherness. People want to be a part of a group. So much so that they’ll do incredibly hard things for months with little to no hope of making the team. They may hate how hard it is but they love the camaraderie that comes with being on a team. As is always the case, love beats hate. The beauty of Final Conditioning is that it exposes both. Why Should We Care? Final Conditioning reveals a fundamental truth about high-performance: individual toughness and collective strength are multipliers - not competing forces. The most transformational leaders understand that true toughness isn't about going it alone; it's about having the courage to tackle hard things while creating environments where others want to struggle alongside you. When people know their leader will both demand excellence and support them through the difficulty of achieving it, they don't just comply - they become compelled. This connection becomes crucial when organizations face their own version of Final Conditioning that tests everyone's resolve. Leaders who have cultivated both personal resilience and deep team bonds can navigate these challenges in ways that actually strengthen their organizations. They don't just survive the tough moments; they use them as opportunities to demonstrate that shared struggle creates unbreakable trust. Their teams emerge from difficulties more unified, more capable, and more willing to take on the next challenge because they've experienced firsthand that they won't be abandoned when things get hard. Individual excellence follows the same pattern. Regardless of what anyone tells you, no man is self-made. The highest achievers aren't lone wolves grinding through challenges in isolation. They're people who have learned to be tough enough to embrace difficult growth opportunities while building networks of relationships that amplify their efforts. They understand that being "together" doesn't make you soft; it makes you invincible. When you combine personal resilience with genuine investment in others' success, you create a foundation for excellence that can weather any storm and reach heights that individual effort alone could never achieve. REAL TALK - Action Steps The synergy between tough and together doesn't happen accidentally - it requires intentional practices that build both individual resilience and collective strength simultaneously. Here are a few ideas to do just that for you:
When you combine the willingness to embrace hard things with the commitment to strengthen others, you create environments where people become braver, more resilient, and more capable than they ever thought possible - not despite the challenges they face together, but because of them. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
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