 Right NowIt’s an average Wednesday night in July. Betsy and I have just gotten back from a walk with the family dog, Izzy. I say the family dog, but really she’s my dog. At least now, she’s my dog. That wasn’t always the case. She first entered the family as a birthday present for our kids, Ally and Gabe. But, that was seven years ago and she was an adorable, squishy basset hound puppy. They played with her and loved on her - until they moved out. That’s when she became my dog.
In any case, the walk went well, aside from the time Izzy sat down and refused to walk. Not surprisingly a belly-rub generated the perfect amount of energy to make it back to the house - just in time for a facetime call from Ally & Gabe. These are regular occurrences now. I assume my usual position - scrunched into our striped chair beside Betsy to partake in the conversation. We listen to their updates intently, trying to gather all the information we can. We’ve realized what they don’t say is just as important as what they do at this point. And, how they say it provides far more information than the actual words they choose to use. Gabe loves one word answers so follow-up questions are essential. Ally loves thousand word answers, no follow-up questions needed. We offer guidance here and there, but more than anything we joke, laugh and smile. Betsy and I look forward to the calls as much as anything in our day. When the calls are over, we usually recap them with each other - what stood out, how are they, how could we help? And, we both experience a swelling feeling of gratitude. Grateful for our kids. Grateful for our good fortune. And, grateful for right now. Why Should We Care? True greatness rarely looks dramatic - in sports, leadership, or life. It’s found in showing up with intentionality, doing so consistently, and remaining present, regardless of the circumstances or distractions available. Excellence has a lot more to do with the ordinary than the extraordinary. As leaders, we are drawn to results - the KPIs, the recognition, the applause. But excellence isn’t built in moments of spotlight - it’s forged our smallest of choices. How we listen, how we respond, and whether we pause long enough to absorb what’s unspoken is the life blood of excellence. Seeing meaning beyond words is discernment at its core, a skill every exceptional leader must cultivate. Leadership honors the moment we’re in. It doesn’t dwell on what could have been or obsess over what might be. It lives fully in the present moment. The truth is we’ll never be younger than we are right now. In thirty years we would trade every award we’ve ever won and bonus we’ve ever earned to be where we are right this second. This should make something very clear for us: achievement and money are not the most important things. The present moment is. REAL TALK - Action Steps It’s one thing to acknowledge the importance of being present. It’s another thing to intentionally live in a way that makes that possible. Here are a few ideas to prioritize right now:
Be present … appreciate the right now. It enhances our gratitude, sharpens our perspective, and reminds us to value others not for what they achieve, but for who they are. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 The Quiet Power of SimpleStories about legendary personalities grow with time. Like Paul Bunyon’s bounding strength and size, the tales often become bigger than life. One of those legends, at least in the coaching world, is John Wooden. His ten national championships in twelve seasons garners the most attention from pundits and fans, but it’s what his success was built on that most miss out on.
After eleven years as a high school coach, Wooden jumped into the college ranks at Indiana State. He was immediately successful and parlayed that success into an opportunity at UCLA. While UCLA is held in high regard now, the program he took over had never won a national championship and had only two conference championships in its eighteen years of existence before Wooden’s arrival. He would win conference titles in each of his first four seasons. Wooden, who was over twenty years into his coaching career before winning his first national championship, possessed a level of clarity that immediately distinguished him from other coaches. No doubt perspective on life was instilled by his parents - Wooden carried a note given to him by his father at all times that read: Never lie. Never cheat. Never steal. Along the same lines, Wooden’s UCLA teams operated by three simple rules: No profanity. Don’t criticize a teammate. Be on time. Very clear, very simple. Wooden’s spiritual life was the biggest driving force in his life. His conviction in, and commitment to, his faith created a powerful fulcrum in which daily decisions that other coaches struggled with were made easy. This clarity carried over to all aspects of his leadership with his team. Everything was grounded in the basics. Most have heard stories of Wooden’s first meeting with players. He began his talk, every season, by demonstrating how to properly put on socks and tie shoes. Blisters, he reasoned, would result from poorly worn socks and could sideline a player for days. And if you can’t play, you can’t contribute. Wooden’s commitment to simplicity wasn’t just a coaching philosophy - it was score belief. He knew that clarity, consistency, and attention to detail were the bedrock of sustained success. Why Should We Care? In a society obsessed with the next new thing and of the belief that more is always better, Wooden’s legacy reminds us that simplicity is not a limitation, but a superpower. His success wasn’t built on a fad of the times. It was built on his core beliefs and purpose. Wooden consistently chose the simple over the complex, the foundational over the extras. Wooden understood something that many leaders miss - confusion is costly. When values are vague and priorities multiply, individuals drift from their primary purpose and teams fracture. By contrast, Wooden built his teams on a foundation of three simple behavioral rules and a deeply personal moral compass. That clarity didn’t dilute his leadership - it amplified it. Simplicity gave his players freedom - not to do whatever they wanted, but to focus fully on what mattered most. Wooden didn’t need complexity to achieve greatness. He needed courage to hold fast to what he valued most. REAL TALK - Action Steps Simplicity doesn’t just happen - it’s a discipline, a daily decision to pursue clarity. Whether you’re leading a team or striving for personal excellence, here’s a few ideas for staying simple when it matters most:
Coach Wooden’s superpower wasn’t his basketball intelligence, his charisma, or his work ethic. It was his conviction. He taught, coached, and led with a steady hand rooted in purpose and simplicity. And his legacy endures not just because of his championships, but because of his principles that have outlasted the trends. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Letting GoAs the story goes, many years ago, a young monk was struggling to live with the discipline and intentionality he felt his quiet, mountain monastery expected. Despite his devotion, his mind raced constantly - filled with worry, ambition, regret, and a thousand daily concerns he couldn’t seem to silence. One evening, unable to contain his frustration, he approached the elder master during their daily tea.
“I’m exhausted,” the young monk said, his voice strained. “I wake up trying to do everything right - fulfill every duty, manage my thoughts, serve others - and still, I feel like I’m failing.” The master nodded gently and handed the monk a teacup. Slowly, he began to pour steaming tea from the kettle. The cup filled, reached the brim, then overflowed - spilling the hot tea onto the monk’s hands and lap. “Ow!” the monk cried, jumping back. “Why did you do that?” The master looked at him with calm eyes and said, “This is your life. This cup is your mind. You carry too much - too many things that don’t matter, don’t serve you. Until you learn to let go, nothing new or meaningful will ever find space.” The young monk stared at the cup, and for the first time, saw his exhaustion not as a failure - but as a signal. A signal that there were things he was clinging to that needed to be let go. Why Should We Care? In leadership and personal growth, we often mistake holding on for strength. We cling to habits, responsibilities, or mindsets that once served us - but now only hold us back. True leadership isn't just about doing more - it’s about knowing what to keep and what to release. It’s the quiet power of recognizing the difference between what is meaningful and what is simply noise. This is the heart of discernment. Discernment is what separates reactive leadership from intentional impact. The best leaders aren’t distracted by every fire - they know which ones to put out and which ones to let burn out on their own. They filter the urgent from the essential. That clarity not only creates better decisions - it creates space too: for innovation, for trust, for growth. And for those of us pursuing personal excellence, this same skill is vital. You can’t reach peak performance while carrying emotional clutter or chasing every shiny object. Letting go, then, becomes more than a strategy - it becomes a confidence-building, validating statement: I know what matters, and I choose to invest my energy there. It’s this commitment to focus that transforms potential into progress. REAL TALK - Action Steps Letting go sounds poetic, but it’s also practical - and necessary if we want to be at our best as often as possible. Like so many other things, if left to chance we’ll just keep collecting. Here’s a few ideas on how to start letting go:
Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  "It wasn't your baby."The Andes Mountains are brutal. At the foot of the mountains, a group of raiders swept through a remote village in the middle of the night resulting in complete chaos, as one would imagine. They killed livestock, ravaged homes, and even kidnapped a baby. The child’s mother watched helplessly as they disappeared into the dark peaks of the mountains with her infant. When dawn finally arrived, several of the village leaders gathered in hopes of a recovery mission. Armed and determined, they headed into the mountains to track the raiders and bring the child back home. But, after days of scouring the steep, dangerous mountainside, they returned empty-handed. Exhausted and defeated, they could do nothing but apologize to the heart-broken mother.
Then, quietly, the mother set off alone. No packed supplies. No ceremony. Armed with nothing but a single purpose. Days passed, and just as hope in the village began to fade, she returned. Dirty, bruised, and weary … with her baby cradled on her back, alive and safe. Stunned, the villagers gathered around her. Their joy quickly turned to disbelief. The leaders of the village, joyful yet embarrassed, asked with genuine amazement “How did you do what we couldn’t?” Her reply was simple: “It wasn’t your baby.” Why Should We Care? The story isn’t folklore - it’s leadership in its rawest form. The difference wasn’t strength, skill, or experience. It was purpose. When something matters deeply to you - when it’s your baby - you’ll find a way through things others find impossible. In the world of leadership and personal growth, that kind of clarity and resolve is rare. But it’s the key to doing hard things consistently. And, leadership is full of hard things. Purpose drives excellence. It transforms effort into grit and fear into resolve. Leaders with purpose don’t need to shout - they move with intention, and others follow. Teams led by a shared purpose don’t just perform; they believe. And belief is the fuel that carries people up mountains they never imagined they could climb - or would need to climb. REAL TALK - Action Steps We don’t drift upstream. If we want to consistently tap into the true power of purpose, we have to become intentional. Here’s a few ideas on where to start:
The mother’s purpose gave her a strength beyond endurance, clarity beyond fear, and resilience no obstacle could conquer. What’s yours doing for you? Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Whitewashed TombstonesMickey had his name on the door, the coolest sweat suit, and exuded the confidence that made parents trust him with their son's future. On recruiting calls, he spoke with authority about his knowledge of the next level and the importance of the parent-coach relationship. His resume gleamed with high profile recommendations, coaching accolades at every stop, and the numerous achievements of each player he had coached.
But behind his charming smile, Mickey was drowning. He hadn't actually had the time to watch any recruiting film in several months, relying instead on his assistant's summaries and rankings published by the various media outlets. When the time for recruiting calls came, he flipped on the charm and offered vague reassurances while avoiding any meaningful connection. Mickey never ventured beneath the surface of relationships and rarely stepped outside his comfort zone to even explore his own original thoughts. The façade finally crumbled when his team found itself in the midst of a four game losing streak. Mickey was overwhelmed by the multitude of issues that seemed to spring up out of nowhere, his confident demeanor evaporated as it became clear he didn't understand himself or his own system. Within weeks, the four games turned into twelve. A closer look by his administration revealed his incompetence, and his carefully constructed reputation turned to ash. Mickey had spent so much energy maintaining the appearance of a successful coach that he'd never actually developed the skills to be one. Everything looked great from the outside, but the inside was absent of any true substance - kind of like a whitewashed tombstone. Why Should We Care? There are a lot of people whitewashing their tombstones. And, a lot of them are leaders, or at least in a position of leadership. The danger, I hope you can see, is that the leader's lack of substance is no longer misleading a single person, but an entire group. The human, and often financial, toll can compound quickly. A breach of trust is at the core of the charade. Leadership effectiveness depends almost entirely on trust, and nothing destroys trust faster than being exposed as incompetent or inauthentic. Few leaders ever recover. Teams become cynical, top performers leave, and cultures suffer lasting damage. Prioritizing appearing knowledgeable over actually being knowledgeable not only violates trust, but it propels a leader into a vicious cycle of becoming defensive, risk-averse, and isolated - exactly the opposite of what effective leadership requires. They spend more energy protecting their image than serving their people. REAL TALK - Action Steps Leaders set the tone for their culture. When leaders prioritize appearance over substance, they encourage their teams to do the same. This creates organizations full of people focused on looking good rather than being good - a recipe for mediocrity and eventual failure. Here are a few ideas to help you avoid it:
Leadership often comes down to this simple choice: will you spend your energy becoming someone worth following, or just appearing to be? Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
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