 Displaced FocusThirty minutes before the opening tip is a stressful time. The questions abound:
Are we ready? Are we focused? Do we know the scouting report? Do we have our bodies in the best possible shape? Will we make enough shots? Will we play good enough defense? Will we do our jobs? Will we compete with energy? Will we help each other be our best? In a way, they help me. I know they’re coming and I know what I want the answer to be. I do my best to proactively answer these questions through practice before every game. They keep showing up, but they serve to sharpen the sword. That’s not the case with the other set of questions that used to run through my mind: What will others think of me if I lose? What does the team not performing well say about me as a coach? Do I really even know what I’m doing? Did I get our guys ready for what they’re going to do? Am I really even making a difference or could anyone do what I’m doing? These questions limited me. They shackled me with fear because, at the time, I never knew the answer. They kept showing up and I kept coming up short of my potential because I was indecisive, tentative, and fearful. Perspective finally saved me when I realized the difference in the two sets of questions. The first set centers on others and points to “we”. The second set centers on self and points to “me”. The focus was determining my emotion. When it was about others, opportunity and hope prevailed. When it was about me, fear of the potential failure dominated my mind. Why Should We Care? There’s a saying in coaching that what gets measured gets done. Of course, there has to be communication of an expectation and accountability to a standard, but neither of those matter if we’re not measuring it. By measuring whatever ‘it’ is, we’re really just declaring ‘it’ a priority. In leadership, it’s our priorities that get done. There are a lot of important things on every leader's plate. Elite leaders prioritize the right ones. Poor leaders are distracted and choose to focus on the wrong things or dilute their focus so much that nothing is a priority. The art is in choosing the right ones. While the checklist and getting things done is important, it pales in comparison to the real intent of a leader. Here the concept is the same, but the stakes are considerably higher. Displaced focus in our intent may not always compromise the immediate mission, but it will undoubtedly compromise the long term vision and our eventual impact. Leadership is always about others. Always. We step in front to take the criticism and fall behind to disperse the praise. Of course, the human desire is to flip those two. It’s a want we must intentionally fight daily. Our focus impacts more than just us. REAL TALK - Action Steps Consistently combating the tendency to make leadership about yourself is an ongoing fight for every leader - CEO, teacher, coach, manager, preacher, mother, father … it doesn’t matter. If you lead, you’re at risk for displacing your focus. Here are a few questions to prompt a recalibration:
With a focus on ourselves we become guarded and protected, in fear of what others might think or say or do. With a focus on others we are drawn to opportunity and hope. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
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 At Your BestThe music is blaring. Anticipation fills the air. The excitement is palbable. Friday night locker rooms are a special place. Relationships are forged for lifetimes while dreams are sometimes realized, other times crushed. Oddly enough, the repugnant smell draws you in.
Forty minutes before tip-off I make a pass through - in part to make sure our pre-game notes are on the board, but more importantly to check-in on the guys. I find them all in significantly different stages of preparation: some still in their sweatpants, some in just their game shorts, and some fully dressed with shoes laced and uniform on. I’ve noticed this discrepancy with other teams in the past, but it's still interesting nonetheless. While the variance of physical attire is of little concern, each player’s mental preparation is always vitally important. Even in team sports each individual player’s job before a game is to get themselves into the mindset that will allow them to be at their best when game time arrives. This requires a heightened level of awareness and discipline that young players sometimes struggle with and older players sometimes dismiss. Honestly, it’s reserved for the elite competitors at every level, in every arena. It seems the locker room has just the right imbalance. A few players are in the back gym with headphones on shooting, a few others are off to themselves stretching with no music playing, and a few more are singing and dancing in the locker room to the undistinguishable mumblings blasting from the speaker. We’re all over the board, which is exactly where most teams should be. Why Should We Care? Similar to the preparation for a game, our best varies significantly from person to person. However, there are some common areas of focus depending on the season of life you are in. Each new phase offers drastically varying perspectives on being at your best, at least from my observations. Yours may differ, but I think with some reflection you will come to similar conclusions.
REAL TALK - Action Steps Not surprisingly, we would all be at our best if we had the awareness to join the fifty and older crowds much earlier in life. Surrendering and giving hold far more power than we’re capable of realizing in our twenties. Here are a few benefits that I hope will speed your progression:
Being at your best is the pursuit in life. The sooner we understand what that looks like for ourselves, the longer we can live at our best. And, it’s only at our best that we can help others be their best. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  What Others WantThe buttery smell of popcorn draws you in; but the squeaking shoes, shrill call of a whistle, and dull thud of a bouncing ball keeps you there. Friday nights are for high school sports and this chilly December night is no different. It’s early in the season and you’re just hoping to get a look at the local team’s squad for the first time.
The pep band sets off the twenty minute clock as both teams circle the court and report to their end for pre-game warm-ups. You scan both ends, gauging the observable difference in size and athleticism while unknowingly forming your own prediction for how the game will play out. Forming an opinion on such a small sample is dangerous, but fairly accurate in most circumstances. At this point, the opposing team looks bigger and more athletic than your team. That doesn’t concern you though, your team doesn’t typically pass the ‘eye test’. You do have grounds for concern though: the warm-up routine at both ends looks ‘cool’. Smooth, fancy passes followed by missed layups and off-balance jump shots are the norm. You’ve watched your team enough to know that’s now how they traditionally warm-up. Your coach notices it too. Within five minutes of coming onto the court, the team is sent back to the locker room - not their customary routine. The opposing end continues preparation with their half speed, two line layups. Before you know it, your team returns to the floor. This time they look different though. There’s an obvious bounce in their step that was lacking before. The passes are on target and popping in and out of players’ hands. There is an urgency and purpose to your team’s warm-up now. They seem to have left the ‘cool’ in the locker room this time. Why Should We Care? Far too often, success becomes nothing more than presenting a life we think others want. Much like the warm-ups described above, what we think others want rarely leads to true success. Basketball players think what others want is for their performance to appear easy, effortless. That’s ‘cool’ - difficult shots with minimal efforts. Just like ‘cool’ cripples a basketball team, defining success by what others want does the same thing for your pursuit of excellence. In our pursuit to appease the masses we turn our back on ourselves. We exchange our own potential for a round of applause, our excellence for a few likes. It never feels as good as we thought it would. The gap resides in what we perceive as the source of fulfillment. Approval is usually our first guess. Why shouldn’t it be? That’s what we’ve been conditioned to value our whole life. Plus, that external praise always seems to deliver that little jolt of warm comfort that makes us feel good, at least for a moment. It never lasts. We need another hit the next moment. The good news? Eventually, we all - yes, all - realize the futility of this pursuit and are forced (or choose) to adjust. Eventually what others want becomes secondary to our priorities. At some point, we begin pursuing who we were created to be instead of who others want us to be. REAL TALK - Action Steps The real question is: when is that time for you? Have you already made the change? If not, then when? Now is as good of a time as any! Here are a few ideas to help you go for it:
Nobody on the road to excellence cares about ‘cool’. Majority opinion does not equate to fulfillment. For the best, what others want is of virtually no concern. What they need, maybe. What they want, not so much. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!  Striving & ThrivingIt’s 5:15am on a weekday morning. From my bedroom I can smell the smokey goodness of the sausage patties and hear the crackling of the eggs hitting the skillet. My alarm clock, also known as mom, has just gently shaken me from my sleep coma to let me know that breakfast is almost ready. I roll out of bed, blindly dressing and stumbling to the bathroom. I eventually land at the table where a plate full of morning goodness greets me. I say thank you but gobble it up incapable of truly appreciating all that went into it.
This was my school day morning from seventh grade through my senior year of high school. I was getting up to workout and become the best basketball player I could be. Mom got up because I got up. It’s only in reflecting on those mornings that I can even begin to appreciate all each of those mornings entailed for her. Waking up - before 5:15am - so she could get breakfast started and wake me up right when I needed to get up, being sure we had all the food for breakfast - that I liked of course, and somehow smiling and acting like she wanted to be up … that early … again. I see now she was giving a masterclass in leadership. I was striving to become a college basketball player. She never questioned the work or where it may or may not take me. Instead, she loved, encouraged, and supported regardless of the circumstances - for me or her. She was being mom. While I was striving, she was thriving. Why Should We Care? Leadership is synonymous with service. If you aren’t serving, then you aren’t leading. Sure, you may be accomplishing great things, making tons of money, or receiving high praise; but you aren’t leading. The top performers in most fields are typically labeled with the ‘leadership’ tag strictly based on their performance or position, yet it is rarely fully accurate. As most climb the ladder, they like to proclaim their leadership moxy as another testament to their superiority. However, the climb itself is usually counter to the service mindset required of a leader. In order to climb, we must take. In order to lead, we must give. This is quite the dichotomy in our pursuit of growth. What to do, what to do? The right answer - yes, there is a right answer - as most usually discover far too late, is to give … and keep giving. The trajectory to the top may not be as steep but it will most certainly end up higher. And, if for some reason it doesn’t, you realize you didn’t need to go there anyway. Back to Brenda Cupps. Her leadership allowed me to strive. She constantly gives and though she’s never been CEO or president of a company, you won’t find anyone more dedicated to serving those she leads. My striving has been nourished by her thriving. REAL TALK - Action Steps The perspective is different in leadership. Most of the time you aren’t sailing the ship. Oh, I know, you think you are, but you’re not. The people you lead are. Your job is to help them sail it as well as they possibly can. In order to do that, you have to get over what you want. Here are a few questions to help you down that path:
Leaders thrive in helping others strive. This is the calling of every leader. Of course, we are all striving to be better, but as a leader we must be sure we are balancing the two. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
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