The YeaButsMany, many moons ago in a land not too far away, there lived a family that seemed to have all the luxuries anyone could ask for. Their house was the biggest in the neighborhood, their cars the coolest, and their yard the most pristine. The success of the YeaButs was clear based solely on their property and physical possessions, but it didn’t stop there.
The only thing that could outdo the obvious material prosperity of the YeaButs was their ability to flourish socially and professionally. Mrs. YeaBut was a successful small business owner, finding just the right niche for her neighborhood. It had taken years to get there, but Mr. YeaBut had finally worked his way up to the CEO position he had set his eyes on when he first joined the company. The YeaBut kids were equally impressive. The oldest, a son, was a star athlete in high school who had several scholarship offers to continue his athletic career but chose to accept an academic invitation to an Ivy League school to study medicine. Their youngest, a daughter, had become one of the best dancers in the country by the age of twelve and moved to New York City to pursue it as a career by sixteen. What a family. The YeaButs had it all. Or, so it seemed. Come to find out, Mr. and Mrs. YeaBut had been struggling in their marriage for over a decade. Several major differences surfaced throughout the years: his long hours working had led to almost a complete absence from family time; her huge initial investment necessary to get her business off the ground had created financial stress they had covered up for decades; his disappointment in his son’s passion for medicine rather than sports; her support of her daughter moving away to NYC at only sixteen against the well-wishes from him … the list continued, but these were the big ones. Nonetheless, the YeaButs put on their smile, shined their car, and paid their landscaper. After all, they have an image to uphold, right? Why Should We Care? It’s that desired image too often becomes the defining decision-maker in our lives. Most people have never considered the image they hold for themselves. Who do you see yourself as? Without that contemplation we become attuned to what others say and before long, we’re making decisions and taking actions in search of the image others hold for us. It’s literally an endless barrage of chatter that is only silenced with a clear understanding and acceptance of our own self-image. The YeaButs family appeared perfect, but they weren’t. Like most other people they chose to pose rather than live fully. They chose to pretend rather than be. The house and the car didn’t ultimately matter to the YeaButs compared to a failing marriage and a separated family. But, hey, they had the best yard on the block … sweet, congrats. Yea, we have a sweet house, but we don’t have a family to live in it. Yea, I want to be present with my family, but I need to work overtime so I can get my promotion. Yea, I want to lose twenty pounds, but it’s the holidays. Yea, I want to be a hard worker, but I don’t feel good today. Yea, I want to start my own business, but what if it doesn’t work out? Yea, I want to give more than I take, but what if I don’t get anything back? Yea, I want the team to win, but I need to average twenty points per game so everyone knows that I’m a good player. Yea, I want to be a good teammate, but sometimes other guys aren’t. Yea, I want to be a great player, but I don’t have time to work outside of practice. Yea, but … Yea, but … Yea, but … Like a lot of other things in life, the yea-buts don’t stop until you choose to stop them. REAL TALK - Action Steps These are easy circumstances and situations to recognize and acknowledge, but completely different to personally change. Here are a few thoughts on moving beyond yea-buts:
YeaButs are only good at one thing - compromising. Stop the negotiation and justification. Tap into that reservoir of strength you get when you make, and keep, commitments to yourself. Yes, and … Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here!
0 Comments
Some Things Never ChangeTwenty million dollars is the estimated NIL (Name, Image, and Likeness) compensation for Ohio State’s football team of players and coaches this season. It’s a lot. And, to be fair, they were not alone in that spending bracket. Arkansas Men’s Basketball program has NIL estimations upwards of five million dollars to fund this winter’s team, also among the top in college hoops allotments.
While both are among the highest budgets in their respective sports, the results (at least to date) are quite different. Of course, the assumption (and hope) is that more money means more talent and more talent means more wins. More wins and, well, that means: even more money to get even more talent leading to even more wins. Finally, the shortcut to success - we’ve found the system! The national championship football game this year was between Ohio State and Notre Dame, two of the most well endowed programs in the country. Yet, with all that talent, both teams dropped games during the year to mediocre 8-5 teams. But, what about the talent you may ask? Good question. Arkansas’ Men’s basketball team is 12-7 and 1-5 in their conference. They’ve looked like anything but the national championship contender they were paid to be. They still have time left in their season to turn things around. I wouldn’t bet my house on it; but, as they say, time will tell. While all the talk in college sports is about NIL money, and it certainly matters, there is an extent to how much it matters. As games are played and seasons reveal the truth, it’s becoming increasingly clear that something else is also at play. The highest budget doesn’t automatically equal the best team. And that … will never change. Why Should We Care? Society grows and evolves. Thankfully, life in 2025 is not the same as life in 1925 or even 2000. Nor would anyone expect, or want, it to be. We are meant to advance ourselves and the world around us. However, there are some societal truths that demand acknowledgement and will not bend. There are dynamics that will always supersede technology, money, or talent. Yes, crazy to imagine isn’t it - something being more valuable than money or more prized than talent? The audacity to even suggest it is disturbing. It’s hard to see, but it’s also undeniable. Those grossly well compensated college football players at Ohio State and Notre Dame still have to block and tackle. If they don’t they lose - ask Michigan or Northern Illinois. No amount of money can hide the need to block and tackle. It’s football. It’s what you have to do to win - regardless of your NIL budget. Despite their check, those wealthy twenty-somethings are not above that reality. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re fairly well compensated too. And, although you’re probably not playing football, there are some things you have to do (like block and tackle) in order to win in life. Your salary only matters to an extent. Same with your talent. You still have to block and tackle if you want to win. For example, deep meaningful relationships are one of the ways we ‘win’ in life. They provide fulfillment, joy, and meaning that are impossible to experience without them. Money without relationships is lonely. Talent without relationships is empty. We ‘win’ through wholesome relationships regardless of the money or talent we possess. Trust, work ethic, resiliency, integrity, discipline, accountability, purpose … always have, and always will be, critical to life - not to mention leadership and team performance. REAL TALK - Action Steps Some things never change, nor should they. They work - like blocking and tackling. Here are a few thoughts to help you consider other aspects of life that should never change.
Be grateful for those things that never change. They are the things in life we should cling to. And, no amount of money, or talent, can change that. Thankfully, sport and life will honor that in the long run. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! I Am ...It’s August of 2001. The first day of school, the first of my teaching career. I’ve spent my entire college life studying education and couldn’t possibly feel less prepared. Standing in front of thirty, blood-thirsty teenagers isn’t something any class, or four years of classes, prepares you for.
As all uncertain teachers do, I open class with a few ice breakers: Who are you? What do you do outside of school? What does home look like? Nothing too fancy. I don’t want to scare them away on the first day of school. The majority of the students jump through the hoops as I predicted: Jenna likes to run track and lives with her mom, dad, and two brothers; Chris works at McDonald’s and lives with his grandparents; Stephanie babysits and lives with her mom and little sister. Then there’s Dustin. His answers are different - more revealing, more personal. Every other student began their response with “I am their name”. Dustin begins with “I am a Christian. My name is Dustin”. Interesting. Why Should We Care? Our name is our name, but the words we choose to use to describe ourselves following the statement “I am” should be viewed as a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s a clean look into how we see ourselves. Whether we realize it or not, we live in accordance with this belief. Spoken or unspoken, our “I am” is who we are, every day in our choices and actions. It’s these actions that clue others into what follows “I am” for us. “I am” is an invitation. It offers direction and clarity. It declares priority. When we know what follows “I am” we have a clear picture of what is most important to us. And, in that vein, what is not. We can’t be everything, but the things we are going to choose to be, we should strive to be fully. How we complete “I am” is a great tool for living a life of intentionality. Most of us will try to complete the sentence multiple times, in various directions. Of course, we have numerous roles to play in life, various values that are important. That’s ok, but only one can be first. Only one can be the priority - one role, one value. So, what is your most important lot in life? What is your non-negotiable value? You are … REAL TALK - Action Steps The start of the year is a great time to consider what your “I am” is. Lock it in and build some inspiration and intentionality into the year ahead. Here are a few ideas to get started:
It may sound extreme but the word you choose to follow “I am” will choose your life. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! Running To or Running FromI’m not a huge fan of speaking in front of groups of people. I’m overly nervous or worried about conveying my message, but if given the option I would choose to not partake most of the time. I do realize how illogical this is for a teacher whose profession is literally dependent on one’s ability to do this very thing.
That said, what I do enjoy in this setting is a good round of questions and answers. I appreciate the challenge of immediately processing and synthesizing the question, then crafting the perfect answer pulling from my life experiences. While I certainly hope the audience benefits from the experience, I’m almost always better for having done it. There is one exception. One group in which question and answer sessions have been banned for eternity: Little Dribblers Basketball campers. Little Dribblers Basketball Camp is three days long, an hour per day, for kindergarten through second grade students (no, I was not smart enough to make it that short initially). While most of the camp feels like we’re herding cats, we spend the majority of camp working on ballhandling and footwork - with some dancing and lots of laughing mixed in. The first year we held camp I made a critical error: I asked for questions. I got way more than questions. I got stories about their mom’s boss, reasons their big brother had freckles, and why two of their toes on the same foot were the exact same length (clearly a miracle). I was also blessed with the most outlandish dreams of every six, seven, and eight year old at camp. Astronaut, president, lawyer, BMX bike racer, doctor … we had them all. Of course, I chuckled and gave a half-hearted smile as acknowledgment of their wild dreams. Silly kids. Only in retrospect did I realize it was my desperation that wouldn’t allow me to recognize their inspiration. They were silly, but their dreams were more real than almost any adults I’ve engaged with since. Why Should We Care? We all have goals, just like the Little Dribbler campers. They just haven’t been tamed enough to fear saying them out loud. You know it’s true. Little kids are almost always running to their goals and dreams. Adults, on the other hand, are usually pursuing goals as a means of running from something else. There’s a big difference between running to something and running away from something. Think about these questions: What emotions are you experiencing if you are running to someone? What emotions are you experiencing if you are running away from someone? When we are running to something we are fueled by love, so passion naturally accompanies it. We are inspired. When we are running from something we are fueled by fear, so judgement and a want for safety naturally accompany it. We are desperate. Of course, we never set out to run from our dreams, we just pursue goals that we hope will distract others from seeing the true us. The salesman crushing quarter goals to get the bonus so he can get the new car in hopes of upping his social status is not the same as the salesman crushing quarter goals to get the bonus so he can pay off his mortgage and set his family up for long-term financial success. The first is running from other people’s opinions of him. The second is running to his family. REAL TALK - Action Steps With that in mind, here are a few things to consider when setting inspirational goals that you will run to:
The people who are inspired, gritty, persistent, resilient, and passionate simply have a goal they are running to. It’s not magic, but it is intentional. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! Honor the PrivilegeHere we go again. Another day, another bus ride with mom. I’ve been doing this for years now so the idea that being a bus driver was a less than glamorous job never occurred to me, but apparently it is. Even when a few of my friends shared their thoughts on the prestige of the position, I shrugged it off. What do they know anyway? They’re ten.
Kids have to get to school one way or the other and when you live out in the country, the cheese-wagon is a necessary evil. Well, not really evil, just necessary. And, my mom isn’t just a bus driver, she is THE best school bus driver ever. It’s kind of like walking into your grandma’s house, staying for thirty minutes, leaving for seven hours, then coming back for another thirty minutes. Every time you step on, or off, the bus you are sure you are her favorite passenger ever. Have a birthday? She has a treat for you. Tough day at school? She deals her love in hugs. Spelling test later that day? No problem, she’ll quiz you - then check with you on your grade the next day. For my mom, driving a bus was her job, but she viewed it as a privilege. A privilege she honored everyday by the way she showed up for her students and their parents. Why Should We Care? Are you consistently honoring the privilege of your role? If you haven’t thought specifically about it, there’s a good chance the answer to that question is “No”. You have a good idea of what honoring the privilege of your role looks like, but without truly exploring what’s possible you are sure to leave opportunities on the table. Taking advantage of those opportunities is precisely how we honor the privilege. The danger, of course, is to become comfortable or to take our role for granted. As those thoughts of complacency creep in, our actions quickly mirror them. Fewer things become important, there is less urgency to get those things done, and we find less and less joy in doing them. Those honoring their privilege will feel like they are on fire. Their passion and joy will be palpable. You will think they wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world other than precisely where they are. They’ll have bad days, but you won’t know. They won’t complain. They have challenges, but they won’t acknowledge them as anything other than an expected part of the process. People who consistently honor the privilege of their role simply choose to take the opportunities that others pass by. It’s not based on circumstances. It’s an intentional choice. REAL TALK - Action Steps If asked, I think virtually everyone would say they want to be great at what they do. The majority of people strive to honor the privilege they’ve been trusted with. Yet, only a few do. Here are a some ideas to put yourself in the company of those few:
We all have roles to play. In our jobs, in our homes, and in our relationships. When we are focused on honoring the privilege of those roles we seem to find a lot more to appreciate while fulfilling them. Checkout Surrender the Outcome on Amazon and order The Score That Matters with Ryan Hawk & Brook Cupps. The latest blog from Blue Collar Grit can be found here! |
About bcI'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms. Archives
February 2025
Categories |