Growing up I spent a lot of time playing outside. Jumping bikes, playing football, or just messing around in the creek that ran next to our house would keep me busy for hours. When I had friends over the games we would play obviously escalated in intensity. After all, are there any stakes higher than bragging rights?
The games always turned physical enough that someone was destined to get hurt. This would typically lead to someone bleeding, crying, or limping into the house in search of help, or sympathy, from my mom. She always obliged. The friends, not so much.
If blood was present, most accepted the injury as legitimate … most. For some, there was still room for judgment on whether or not the injury was significant for the game to be stopped. And, if mom became involved, shut down.
Those that recovered too quickly from an injury ran the risk of garnering one of the most dreadful labels a kid could ever receive - faker.
No one wants to play with a faker.
Not in childhood games, not in sports, and certainly not in life.
So, why do we do it so much?
Why Should We Care?
Here’s a question to consider that, if you’re honest with yourself, will likely surface an answer that you don’t want to hear:
What part of yourself are you willing to be rejected for?
The answer for most is not many. We would often rather sacrifice pieces of ourselves in search of acceptance from others than stand by who we are and what we believe. Just consider some of the things we are careful to not be rejected for.
We’ve all been in situations in which we contemplate whether or not to share the truth about any of the above categories. Do we fake it or not?
Excellence despises fakers. The two cannot coexist.
Living and leading with excellence requires simplicity and alignment.
You can’t stand for everything or you stand for nothing. Pick what’s important to you and focus on that.
Your belief, thoughts, and actions must match. There is no place for faking it until you make it on a path of excellence. If you feel the need to fake it, stop doing it or change your belief around it.
REAL TALK - Action Steps
Eliminating the desire to be a faker is a lifelong battle. It’s not something we are going to just start doing and never feel the pull back to being artificial. Society is full of fakers.
Here’s a few ideas to make sure you’re not one of them.
Choosing to be a faker is easier, but it’s not problem free. You still get judged. You still have people that don’t like what you’re doing. So why not have people judging you and not liking you for what you actually believe. The security of a faker is a mirage.
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I'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms.