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bcg blog

2/24/2022

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The Power Struggle

Victim is a noun, defined as a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action. For the sake of this message, we’ll accept and acknowledge the reality of being a victim in a crime or accident. It’s the ‘other event or action’ I would like to explore.

Our mind is quite the fence jumper. In one instant we are drawn to pounding our chests and proclaiming our dominance over the world, and in the next we find ourselves retreating into the shadows hoping to not be noticed. 

This doesn’t change for leaders.
If anything, it’s magnified.

The draw to show our power lives in worlds of survival - only the strong survive … control - my way or the highway … or glory - ‘if you ain’t first, you’re last’ (to quote the great Ricky Bobby).

What we fail to realize is that all of these stems of power grow from the same root.
Comparison.

Why Should We Care?
We are all powerful beyond our comprehension. Not in our physical attributes - everyone knows your mind gives way long before your muscles do. 

No, our greatest power lies simply in our choice. 
Do we hold it tight or give it away? Both provide opportunities for us to wield our power. And, the excellent leader knows exactly which tool to use at just the right time. They realize their power is simply that, a tool. 

An example of a time to hold your power tight is:
  • When someone, friend or not, is rude or disrespectful to you. If this ‘hurts our feelings’ we must realize that we are choosing to allow it to. The words, even the intent they were said with, have no power unless we choose to give them power. We, not the words, hold the power.

An example of a time to give your power away is:
  • When the opportunity presents itself to acknowledge great performances, standard-bearers … or a shirt you like, a birthday, a fresh haircut. We notice and see far too many things that are worthy of recognition that we fail to openly acknowledge. Why? As the leader of a team, it’s critical we realize the potential impact of a few words or a small gesture.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Here are a few ideas I hope can help you place your power in just the right spots to maximize your team.

  • Detach From Man’s Approval & Foxhole Friends
    • I feel like I include this golden nugget every few weeks, but is it ever important to a life of excellence. We will be judged, talked about, and ridiculed … so what? None of that matters unless we say it does. A negative comment on your IG post only hurts if you give your power to a stranger. Stop seeking approval from those outside your foxhole. Those are people you can trust with your power. If they have negative things to say about your IG post, then it’s best if you put some consideration into it.

  • Do Not Seek Comfort & Say It
    • Maybe our desire to hold onto our power is part of the reason we shy away from verbalizing the awesomeness of others, but whatever it is we need to fight it. Lean into the discomfort of telling the cashier they have a great smile or your new employee that you notice how much extra time they’re putting in to figure things out. Just say it. The more you do, the better you get at it. 

My son grew up playing AAU basketball with LeBron James’ son, Bronny James. In the four years they were teammates, there are obviously thousands of pretty crazy stories our family experienced. One of the questions I get regularly is, how was LeBron to be around? Observing and interacting with LeBron during that time taught me a valuable lesson in leadership. LeBron was always fully aware of his power, and I mean that in the best way possible. Our son, Gabe, was a major beneficiary of Lebron’s willingness to empower others. An encouraging word, a playing tip, a high five, or even a Skittle before a game … are examples of LeBron dispersing his power to each member of Bronny’s team. Interestingly, he received a lot of criticism for joining lay-up lines or celebrating a made shot on the sidelines. LeBron never allowed that criticism to curb his intent. He was fully aware of the impact, and power, he was distributing. The choice was his and he owned it completely.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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    About bc

    I'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms.

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