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BCG Blog

2/3/2022

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The Lure of Success

Let’s begin with the definition of success: the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

Based on that definition, it’s easy to see why success is the pursuit of so many. I mean, we all want to be successful, right? Successful people have better jobs, make more money, win more games, wear nicer clothes, and have more friends. 

See, as soon as we start talking about success we immediately begin thinking relatively. The focus quickly moves from truly striving to accomplishing our aim or purpose to comparing our accomplishments to those of others.

This comparison becomes our success. Rather than actually our aim or purpose, we call it success by being better than the next person. Our aim or purpose changes.

I’m certain most people don’t initially set out in pursuit of winning a comparison war. No, we begin with a dream and a vision of what we might be, but eventually settle for accepting a ‘better than’ reality.

Why, you might ask? That’s easy.
Success based on comparison provides comfort.
And, if there is anything we like, it’s comfort.

Why Should We Care?
I prefer to differentiate between excellence and success. The difference is slight, yet significant. 

Those on the path to excellence are able, or willing, to do a few things that those drawn to success are not.

  • They maintain an aim or purpose that is process based. The process they choose, if executed faithfully and with proper focus, will likely lead to a desired outcome. However, the outcome isn’t the aim or purpose - being faithful to the process is. This distinction may seem like a small difference in verbage, but it is a major difference in mentality. Those pursuing success are constantly chasing the result. Those on the path to excellence realize the result you get is nothing more than a byproduct of the process you choose.
  • They do not seek comfort. They know failures and challenges are coming and willingly embrace them. Of course, they want everything to go well. Of course, they don’t want to fail. But, they know they’re going to at some, often many, times throughout the process. Nonetheless, their focus and excitement never waiver. They confront the difficult reality they face with an unflinching persistence as if not doing what they set out to do is no longer an option. Success begs us to settle. Excellence refuses.
  • They detach from the approval of others. Our human desire to be accepted, praised, and liked cripples our pursuit of excellence. Success is easily accessible - just lighten your schedule, lower your standard. Approval will follow, but from who? Not from anyone whose opinion should matter to you. The people in your foxhole won’t praise you. They’ll tell you that you’re compromising your standards. At Least that’s what they should tell you. If not, then you need to get them out of your foxhole.
  • They run the marathon and the sprint. It’s not either/or for those on the path to excellence. Success is a sprint. It can be realized immediately in some cases. Excellence can not. Excellence requires time to fail, recover, and persist while also embracing the necessary intentionality of our daily actions.

REAL TALK - Action Steps
Combating the lure of success is difficult. Social media is one of the biggest challenges we face today. The immediacy of posts and comments drives many people to constant comparison in an effort to appear successful. Here are a few ideas that may help you to focus on excellence over success.

  1. Take Action
    • Process over results is another way to say it, but it all means the same thing. Results are important, but we must understand that the results we see are simply the output from the process we choose. Want a different result? Choose a different process. It’s our actions, the things we do, that determine our future. Not what we want. Not what we talk about. Not even what we believe. Our actions determine our future.

  1. Meditate
    • I talk about it a lot, but the results of meditation impact your life in so many positive ways that it impacts numerous areas of your life. Meditation improves our mindfulness. Mindfulness allows us to be intentional about what we think about. If we can be intentional with our thoughts, then comparison and seeking approval of others is more easily navigated and avoided.

  1. Simplify
    • Everyone has a lot to do. However, there seems to be a difference between those on the path to excellence and those chasing success in regards to how busy they appear. Excellent seekers have clear priorities and have eliminated unnecessary duties and obligations. They clear their schedules of things that don’t provide significant returns on their investments. They say no … politely, but often.

Excellence to me is about maximizing your potential. It’s about becoming all of who you were created to be. That doesn’t involve comparison with anyone besides your previous self. It’s a life-long journey, not a quarterly goal. It doesn’t provide the lure of success because it offers no comfort. However, what it lacks in comfort it provides in fulfillment.

For more information on building excellence in your teams, visit us at www.bluecollargrit.com. 
We would love to know how we could help!

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    About bc

    I'm a teacher, coach, and parent seeking excellence while defining success on my own terms.

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